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  1. #1
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    Preparing For Last Baby But First Sway (Pink!)

    Hi all!

    I am still fairly new to this site-though I have read its wealth of information since I was pregnant with my last child! I stumbled upon it when I was looking for “clues” to the gender of our fourth baby, and I am so glad I did!

    Little background: We have four children in the order of boy, girl, boy, boy! We never cared or gave much thought to gender, especially as we had boy then girl next, until we realized we seem to be more set for boys! All of our children are around 2 years apart give or take by a couple of months. We are tc our fifth and final in a few months, and would absolutely love another girl to add!

    I can’t honestly think of many differences between conceiving my girl vs my boys. I have always skipped breakfast and eaten basically LE, though room for improvements. The only differences I can really think of is I gained tons of weight with my first child, and had lost almost all of it before conceiving our girl. With my subsequent pregnancies, I still had a good bit to lose. DD was also a one hit wonder and not sure how many days we were out from O. (We were not TTC at that point, but DH decided to pull out, but went immediately back for round two and enough must have made its way! &#128518 The only big difference is I didn’t have the big O, and I usually always do and know for sure I did when DS were all conceived. DS 1&2 were conceived with multiple attempts and around O. DS3 was only one attempt, around 3 days from O.

    Regarding diet, I do know I always have been a bit of a grazer, so that’s a downfall. Never been a big red meat eater, either. I have started the LE diet in the past several weeks, really getting serious the last few, and cut out all the snacking. I usually have at least a 13-16 hour fast, not eating until 1-2pm usually.

    I’m going with the knowledge there really is no magic food and nothing is off limits as long as I stay within the guidelines. I am however, worried on the fat and carb part. This last pregnancy, I developed gestational diabetes and had to totally change my diet. I am now prediabetic, so I am still pretty strict with my diet to avoid meds. I don’t do very low carb diet, but stay on lower end (averaging 75-no more than 150/day), and I get most of my carbs from “good carbs.” Since starting LE, I have quit eating as many nuts, and “good fats” like I have been in the past year. I never eat potatoes or white breads. I am a little worried that my blood sugar won’t go low enough just bc I’m prediabetic. I do feel like the fact that I am at my lowest weight since before my first pregnancy due to my diet changes in the past year may help. And since I had started eating lots of meat and now pared back down is a change!

    I still BF last DS, who is 9 months old. (I also conceived all children after my first while still BF.) I do drink several cups of coffee a day, though I do a good bit of heavy cream in one of those. I have no other dairy except cheese, so I am hoping if I stay in my limits this won’t hurt me? I used to drink lots of water, but haven’t done so well with that the past few months, especially since my supply doesn’t seem to suffer and I’m just too busy most days to remember! Haha.

    DS3 also is a terrible sleeper at the moment, so I am having to go the couch potato route since I cannot commit to so much cardio.

    What else should I be doing? What about DH? I just turned 38 and he will be 41 in a few months. I know there are certain things we should and shouldn’t do with those ages. We have gotten pregnant the first cycle every time we have tried and then my DD as mentioned was a little early! 😁 I know that’s no guarantee for next time, though!

    DH runs 3x/wk and usually skips breakfast. He does like to have a banana or some nuts after a run. He loves red meat, too (he’s willing to eat less.) Does this matter? I have read his diet doesn’t necessarily sway, but he is willing to do what will help and is all for it! Any supplements or suggestions for either of us?

    I have read the article on frequency, but still a little confused by what is best except not to abstain? Does e4d mean like Monday & Thursday or is it Monday & Friday?


    Sorry for the long post, trying to cover it all!

    Thanks so very much in advance!

  2. #2
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    Hi and welcome! Could you bump this for me? I would really appreciate it!
    !!! Questions?? Check out the NEW and improved Complete Index !!!

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  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by atomic sagebrush View Post
    Hi and welcome! Could you bump this for me? I would really appreciate it!
    Thank you! Sure. I know it is dreadfully long.

    Bump!

  4. #4
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    While we never really know why we have a child of a certain gender, I would say that the weight loss, the one attempt (with the second go round, no less!) could certainly have swayed for you. NO sway tactic is 100% so unfortunately you can never really just look back at what you did in the past and really pick out "oh yes it was this thing, it was that thing". Because luck has its own role to play as well.

    I want you to eat the diet that is right for YOU. We do have our alternate diets that are better for people with prediabetes, PCOS, and other insulin resistance issues and you can find those here: https://genderdreaming.com/forum/gen...rt-3-pcos.html

    I strongly urge you to exercise even if you can't get up to the full 60 6-7 recommendation. With issues regulating your blood sugar you MUST exercise even if you can't get the full amount. Moderate exercise is fine for you because the benefits to your blood sugar will outweigh any potential risks of mod. exercise.

    LE Diet (plus fiber, coffee, alcohol if you tolerate that ok, otherwise skip it, plus giving up prenatals/multivitamins and probiotics), exercise, one attempt, and Clomid/Femara if you can get them are really the only things that seem to be adding to our overall success rate. Teh other stuff appears to just inhibit chances of conception without really helping the sway (and you can add them if you like, please ask me about anything and I'll tell you why or why not to use them). for hubby, jogging/biking and smoking are the only things proven to work. Olive Leaf Extract and soy milk may help. Giving up vitamins and taking fiber may also help a little. If he's willing to give up red meat, all meat, even go fully vegan that may help.

    Most of the supplements have not helped and many have actually seemed to cause more trouble than they were worth. Do take folic acid or folate though, 1200-1600 mcg a month all through the first trimester of pregnancy, then gradually wean off by spacing doses futher and further out till down to one per week, then you can drop them.

    May I ask how much weight you have to spare? We have a couple things that may help but I can only give them to you if you still have 30+ lbs to spare.

    We don't KNOW what is best with frequency. None of the frequency patterns have really seemed to help much. The important thing is doing that one attempt in the fertile window. That seems to work. The frequency stuff really doesn't.

    E4d is just an easy way to be sure you are in with one attempt in the fertile windowwithout having to track ovulation. If you want better chance of conception and a possibly lower chance of pink, do e4d in the Monday/Thursday pattern. If you want better odds of pink and are ok with lower odds of conception, then go with Monday/Friday at least to start out with. It's fine to start off with Mon/Fri and then after a few months go to Mon/Thurs.

    Thanks for your patience! Let me know how else I can help.
    !!! Questions?? Check out the NEW and improved Complete Index !!!

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  5. #5
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    No worries! I appreciate you getting back to me, and for all of the great info! And I just realized I posted this in the meal plan section on accident. Sorry about that!

    I am 55 and weigh 140ish pounds. I gained 80-90 pounds with my first, but I finally lost it all after this last pregnancy, and am now at my original weight. I have not actually been told I am pre-diabetic, however, as a nurse and strong family history, the writing is on the wall so to speak. The only number that is a little outside of range is my fasting blood sugar. It ranges around the low 100s-one teens. Its not much outside normal range, BUT that is with me being very cautious with my diet now, so I know it would be way worse if I was not very careful! I will look over the diet thread and tweak as needed. Thank you so much for all of this information!

    Because of my schwdule, it is easy to do the fasting, but sometimes when I go a very long time (say 14-16 hours), my other 2 meals may only be spaced 2-4 hours apart. Is this okay and not too close? Otherwise, no snacking at all. That is a huge change for me, so maybe it will be in my favor! I do eat plenty of fiber in my diet by default since I usually have to choose healthy, complex carbs.

    Regarding exercise, is there a certain amount better for hubby? As I said, he runs 3x/weekly for about 60 min. each time. And I can add in some; I just was misunderstanding and thought I should not if I couldnt commit to the amount needed.

    Thank you again!

  6. #6
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    The alternate diet gets better results than the standard one anyway so there is no harm in using it even if you're not totally sure you need to. Going onto the carbier, sugarier standard LE would only mess with your sugar levels and possibly undermne your pink sway anyway.

    Yes that type of meal spacing is just fine. As long as you get that one long fast in, you're doing great.

    We did originally think that no exercise was better than moderate but over time we've found that for anyone with potential insulin resistance it's best to exercise moderately than do nothing. So yes please add that in if possible

    More is better for both you and hubby, of course, but for him 3x a week is great and better than most of our husbands do!
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  7. #7
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    Okay, thank you again!
    Doing the alternate diet sort of puts me at ease a little anyway, because it seems that it goes more along than what I have been doing already (lower carb, higher fat/protein while still staying in limits, and my carbs come from mostly whole grains.) I eat cheese regularly-just watch portion, and I do not usually do fat free/low fat. I know I’m not supposed to do skim milk(which I don’t drink milk anyway), but does the same apply for all dairy-do full fat?

    I have been starting to track my ovulation (had three cycles since AF returned while BF’ing). My last LP was quite short at 10 days. I think it’s fairly common to have sometimes a short LP while nursing? I’m hoping it will even back out soon before we start ttc in a few months! I have never had issues getting and staying pregnant before, so I hope this is common! Having said that, I do have some Metformin from when I had to take it during last pregnancy for GD only at bedtime for fasting sugar a little out of range. If I were to start taking this again, is it a good idea first of all, and would it help my LP or should I wait it out to see if it self corrects? I was thinking it may help since it’s only my fasting that is sometimes a little high (it was 91 this morning, but as mentioned, can sometimes be low 100s-113.) I think they are still fairly in normal range though. I even checked it one hour after a meal, and it was 111. Is there a “goal” that we are supposed to get to or something that is considered low for the drop and why we fast?
    Last edited by RNmommyof4; September 27th, 2018 at 05:46 PM.

  8. #8
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    Yes full fat dairy for everything. Skim dairy is the devil for blood sugar and anyone who even has a hint of blood sugar issues, ditch skim dairy (and never return to it! even when not swaying)

    Yes totally common to have shorter LP when nursing. But it's also common to occasioanlly have a short LP for no apparent reason that then fixes itself over time too.

    I probalby wouldn't take metformin for now. It does come out in small amounts in breastmilk and while commonly considered ok, I'd probaby wait till closer till your TTC time and let the baby get a little older before considering starting it.

    Don't worry about your blood sugar levels in terms of numbers. When we say "low blood sugar" we're really just using that as shorthand for this complex biological process in which your body, not liking or wanting low blood sugar levels, will burn off stores of fat as fuel to keep your blood sugar in normal range. Your blood sugar is really only "low" in the measurable sense of the word for a very short period of time becuase your body will quickly take steps to raise it again. But it's the process of that happening which seems to sway and so testing our levels is really not helpful to our purposes (not to mention gives us another detail to worry about!)
    !!! Questions?? Check out the NEW and improved Complete Index !!!

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  9. #9
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    Hi! It has been a while since I last logged on, and I wanted to update, and get advice! I have been on the LE diet for over five months at this point, almost consecutively. In late November on into early December, we experienced our first (and hopefully only) MC. So difficult. We had unexpectedly gotten pregnant and I was only just over 7 weeks along. I was only off the diet for around 2 weeks-and not fully off, just had added a snack or two on some days.

    I will say that my version of the LE diet is a little off probably, as I didn't really count and probably didn't stay within limits on fats some days- the verge of being prediabetic, I am doing the PCOS version, and have long been watching carbs. I am certain most of the time I stayed within the protein parts and almost always calorie part, but I tend to get my fat from healthy fats and whole grains to keep my blood sugar in check, so I may have been over. It is just less stressful (since I tend to be a typical blue control freak!) for me not to get in too deep! What I have made sure is that I have a long fast most days 14-16 hours, but sometimes 12, and then totally cut out snacking, which I mentioned really early on is huge for me. I have lost around 8-10 pounds on the diet, and am at my slimmest since before my first child. I still eat meat a few times a week, but it is chicken or pork, only VERY rarely a small portion red meat (maybe 1-2 times a month).


    Here's my questions...we have decided to try again. Thankfully, my LP lengthened back to a nice 12-14 or so days since the MC. I have been O'ing earlier than before. The kicker is we were going for one attempt. We can't do abstain (if you look back at previous post, hubby just turned 41), and FR is hard because of schedule. I know that frequency is not a big deal now....I think. But, it had been over 4 days (I'm thinking 4-6) since hubby had released, and I was worried about a lot of dead/abnormal sperm. We DTD two days ago (did not use that batch) on my first blazing positive OPK day, and DTD again that night, but it was around 1130pm-later than the 3-6 hours I think you recommend for the H-FR. So, I am not feeling hopeful since I am afraid he depleted too much maybe. Can it recover at all in that time frame? I was not aware of the 3-6 hours timeframe for the batch to use until we had already did our attempt. So, if we get a BFN this month as I am preparing for, what is best for sperm quality/chances of conceiving without totally messing things up. Usually, we have no real patternfor his release or our DTD pattern...we just go with the flow...but I am stuck between wanting to sway pink, but still not lower my chances to much for conception since I am 38.


    Again, huge thanks for taking time to read and sort through all you do...truly amazing with a family to boot!

  10. #10
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    Those changes you made in the diet are all fine by me.

    Frequency has not worked regardless, and at 4 days there is NOT a large buildup of dead/abnormal sperm. It takes 7-10 days for that to happen.

    Yes, it can recover in that time frame. Again, it takes 7-10 days of daily release (every day, barring none) to lower sperm count and inhibit conception and you're not in that window at all.

    I'd just have him either "do what he does" (avoiding long abstains or long stretches of daily release) or else have him do regular release every 2-4 days and then keep the one attempt.

    After that one attempt I'd suggest going to e4d after that, in the "every 72 hour" or "monday Thursday" pattern (it's the same pattern, just whatever's easier for you to understand.)
    !!! Questions?? Check out the NEW and improved Complete Index !!!

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