2ww irrational thoughts!

[Kpeanuts]

Hi all - apologies in advance for this essay!

This month is the first month TTC after my m/c in Feb, waited for a normal AF before trying again. I finally managed to do the best pink sway (that I could manage - really tried as many things as possible in comparison to the previous 12 months) in the 13 months we’ve been TTC. (I refer to ‘I’ in the sway because I didn’t get DH to do any swaying other than having to DTD as many nights as possible ).

However, I now have really irrational thoughts, and anyone other than you lovely ladies on here, would probably have me sectioned!!

As I said, the sway was what I’d hoped to do, and now I’m feeling so negative that it’ll be another BFN (and I’m only 4DPO!).

I feel that because it was a sway I was actually proud of, there’s no way it’ll happen. ALSO I realised its our 13th month of TTC and we DTD on CD13. I’m not superstitious but I’m thinking OMG not brill.

Other thoughts (and totally irrational too) was that I didn’t really want a baby in December so near Christmas, so I have silly thoughts that ‘typical’ it will be due then. BUT I want a baby so much I don’t really care when it is (in my more logical moments). The one positive was that I believe you are more fertile following a m/c so I do have a tiny hope in my head somewhere.

One last niggling thing is when (sorry - IF) I get a BFN, I’ve got to go through all this swaying again next month. I think all the ph strips, rephresh, CBFM, OPK’s, BBT, CD timing, vitamins and DTD has finally haddled my brain!

Sorry for the rambling, needed to get it all out. Has anyone else had such irrational thoughts and driven themselves crazy with them??

xx

[ELP]

Yes, definately Last month was my 1st cycle after m/c (I'm swaying blue) that I was just so desperate to get my baby back that I attempted even though I have a track history of lovely pinkies after m/c. Then the day after attempt, I thought 'what have I done!' and didn't want a bfp, then after a week I was desperate for a bfp!! The madness is all part of the sway lol, you are not alone!!

[JustKim]

It sounds like we are in the 2ww together. This waiting stuff is driving me crazy! I will test on 4/22, which happens to be my DD1 birthday. Now back to waiting for time to speed up.....

[Kpeanuts]

Hi ladies. Thanks so much for your replies, its so lovely to know I'm not alone.

Sadly my 2ww has ended in BFN. Feel really disappointed, and can't even face thinking about having to do it all again this month. So far I've had two glasses of wine and I'm now on a glass of Baileys! Now I just feel drunk as well as miserable.

I really do hope you have some positive news and soon!! Sori if I sound so miserable. I'm so thankful I have you lovely ladies on here to talk to xx

[wishing on a star]

Ahh I know exactly how you feel I had the same thing last month. Had what I thought was a perfect sway and was so gutted when I got my bfn that had a little to much to drink that night to say the least!! You really mustn't beat yourself up about this, remember that it is much harder when ttc a girl as you are basically making your body less fertile. You will get another bfp it just may take a little longer then u thought
Hope you will be ok, sending big hugs your way
Xxx