Originally Posted by
atomic sagebrush
A lot of people don't know this, Sora, but I have been through much of what you describe. I was a hideously ugly child, I was teased and victimized, often mistaken for a boy, I had to have very brutal plastic surgery to make my face normal, and even then everyone rejected me because the only thing worse than being ugly is being a person who had plastic surgery in many people's minds. My parents were never happy with anything I've ever done, still to this day tell me I'm a failure, etc. I married the first guy who would have me and I've had a lot of very bad problems in my marriage because my husband is very controlling. I have no real friends, my family doesn't care if I live or die, I have health problems, I often feel like a slave working to raise children who don't appreciate it, it sucks. I felt like I was not enough of a woman to have a daughter and many of us with all boys feel that way. I mention all this so you know you're not alone, that many of us really do understand your feelings. I really do, 1000% understand.
But even with my desired gender these problems didn't just go away. They still exist and it was never a magic bullet towards fixing me. The thing that I eventually realized was that no one else's opinion matters, that most people exist to tear others down and when I took it to heart, it meant they would win. They never said those bad things because they even believed them, they said them so I would believe them, and so they could have power over me. They would even lie about things to keep that power over me. Once I realized that their criticisms were really lies to try to control me, I was able to embrace my own life with a sense of purpose for pleasing no one other than myself. The best revenge is living well because so many people go through life trying to destroy other people, even getting their "jollies" off of destroying others, and so by refusing to let them destroy you, you really win in the end. They stay their hateful selves, and you are like a butterfly coming out of the cocoon. :heart: