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  1. #201
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sora View Post
    I can't understand really. It's not like people could just have kids but decided to play Dr Frankenstein in some secret lair or whatever... And it's not like helping fertility hasn't been done or tried before, with potions or whatever crazy rituals...
    EXACTLY! They have a very bad attitude about it considering how fortunate they are not to have fertility problems themselves.

    I think it's because historically people blamed fertility on lifestyle, like bad people had bad things happen, and some people still have their minds in that primitive mindset.
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  2. #202
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sora View Post
    Woke up with cramps this morning. Still no blood in sight but considering the date, that's not good.

    If we failed this time again, I will be disappointed really. How come other girls succeeded in their first month TTC and I can't, even though I'm doing the exact same things they did ? Am I too fat to be fertile or what ?

    Also, what, so when I don't want to be preg, some lost sperm still finds the egg no matter what, even though I'm tired, in the middle of moving places, stressed out, hungry and sick... But when I'm doing okay, as happy as can be, safe and taking lots of stuff I don't usually take to up my fertility, it's a big NO ? Is it some kind of cosmic joke ? God's sick sense of humor ? Is it so funny for Him to throw my life in disarray and make me miserable ?

    Sorry, I'm ranting a bit while not knowing if it's AF (although I sense it is, I don't think these cramps are about pregnancy). But I'm so over failures. Especially when everyone around me gets boys or whatever else they want with their eyes closed. So so tired.
    That happens sometimes for no reason we understand. I would go ahead and cut back on sugar somewhat (things like dry fruits and fruit juice included). Add in cardio (30 min a day 3x a week, just walking is fine).

    I so wish I had a magic wand I could just wave!
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  3. #203
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    Quote Originally Posted by Girls Mom 2 View Post
    okay... i m following you from March i guess..i started high everything diet from April.. i am taking folic 50 mg, fishoil 1000 alternate days., women multivitamin a day, vitamin D 1000iu, and probiotics started from june. DH is taking Zinc.
    My first attempt was in May.. that time i did only two attempts on my possitive opk. In june i tried to do more attempts before O also two attempts in fertile window.. but in jully i start doing unprotected sex soon after my Af and then get successful in my three attempt on possitive opk. this time i also used preseed. i lay down for 30 min after. my cd1 was 24th june and my ovulation occured on 6th jully.. i have 28 day cycle so now i m expecting my af on 22nd jully. but i m feeling symptoms of Af and also my home pregnancy test came negative :/

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    Let's try laying down part of the time on your belly if you didn't do that.

    Did you have female O?? That can help.

    It's still quite early for July 22 AF so hopefully you're not out yet.
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  5. #204
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    Quote Originally Posted by atomic sagebrush View Post
    Let's try laying down part of the time on your belly if you didn't do that.

    Did you have female O?? That can help.

    It's still quite early for July 22 AF so hopefully you're not out yet.
    aww thank u yeah hopefully not.. this time i didnt have female O.. and if i get af next time i will lay down on my belly. thank u so much

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  7. #205
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    Quote Originally Posted by atomic sagebrush View Post
    That happens sometimes for no reason we understand. I would go ahead and cut back on sugar somewhat (things like dry fruits and fruit juice included). Add in cardio (30 min a day 3x a week, just walking is fine).

    I so wish I had a magic wand I could just wave!
    OKay, I didn't take dry fruits and I cut back on the juice a bit since it just makes me more thirsty with the heat going around.

    I'm already walking a lot for my job and next week will be really full, running everywhere and all from morning til evening so I guess I have my cardio.

    Cramping and got a few drops of blood but nothing major. Very tired.
    2014 ------- surprise 2016

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  9. #206
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    Ok good. Are you eating a lot of banana and potato or bread? Those can cause weight gain too.

    If you're already DOING that level of walking that's totally fine, just keep doing what you're doing. (sometimes there isn't anything that needs to be changed, it may not have been the month!)

    FXFXFX!
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  10. #207
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    Quote Originally Posted by atomic sagebrush View Post
    Ok good. Are you eating a lot of banana and potato or bread? Those can cause weight gain too.

    If you're already DOING that level of walking that's totally fine, just keep doing what you're doing. (sometimes there isn't anything that needs to be changed, it may not have been the month!)

    FXFXFX!
    Not since last summer, no. You told me it could be a problem. I've been carefull not to eat these (and I don't like bananas). As for bread, I've stopped eating it altogether since I learned it makes you fat.

    But I'm the kind that can get fat just by looking at a pastry the wrong way, for real ! Or if I'm stressed, which is much too often for my own good ! Blue diet is and will be terrible for my weight no matter how you look at it because of the snacking. No matter what I snack on, as long as I'm doing 2000 cals/day with more than 2 meals, I will become rounder and rounder. I could already gain weight with one meal a day and zero snacking and a 12 hours fast between bed and noon. Sometimes I think the only thing that would help would be eating vegetables only but then that would put me firmly in pink sway territory.

    Blue diet has make me gain weight in areas where I never gained before (like the arms)

    That makes me think, my brother is typically a blue diet : lots of meat, lots of fat, bananas at every hour, loves nuts, is always snacking... His whole meals are basically made of take outs, be it Burger King (which he goes to at least once a day because it's near his job), Chinese, Pizzas... He snacks on candy and chips before going to bed (like, at midnight). Sometimes he will even organize food-eating contests with his friends and neighboors and win them...

    And he weights a resounding 132 lbs. Yeah, you read that right ! 132 lbs for a 5.9 feets guy ! And no, he has not been doing any sports since he was 18 ! A good couch potato he is ! And he has a desk job.

    His doc even asked him if he had anorexia. He was so angry that day he called me to complain.

    My doc thinks I'm waking up at night to raid the fridge.

    Genetic is so unfair ! My fear is that it will prevent me from ever having a boy (and ever looking normal) !

    Sorry if I sound like a crybaby. Been having a hard day at work and I feel so over everything
    2014 ------- surprise 2016

    Dreaming of a

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  12. #208
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    Well I'm out. AF is here for good. I'm so angry I can't even... I remember last summer when everyone got pregnant with their boy the first try around. What is WRONG with me ? It's DD1 all over again when we took prenatals and pinpointed O and it took us more than 9 months to conceive !

    And I can't understand ! For DD2 it was all over in one attempt, DH didn't even finish inside and yet here she is, no matter how it ruined my plans for the future at the time and a big part of my life ! I'm still furious to this day at DH for blackmailing me into doing anything... Why did it happen so easily although I didn't want to, didn't take anything, was tired and all ? Why can't it work when we really want to TTC and do everything the right way ? Why ?

    I know I may sound awfull to everyone having fertility troubles but well, my thread, my rant, if I don't let it out here it will just stay bottled up and poison me again ! I feel so much like a total failure ! I can't stand it anymore ! I'm ashamed to be breathing the same air as so many better successfull women when I'm so much of a failure at everything ! Can't get a decent job, can't get DH to care about marrying me or anything really, can't protect myself and my girls from assault, can't protect my dreams and a lifetime of hard work, can't get a boy... Why am I even on this Earth again ? It looks like the harder I try, the more my dreams end up destroyed and/or stolen. But even when I let go, they don't fall into my lap either (I know some have had stories like these, when all hope was lost, suddenly everything turned out alright on its own... but apparently, it's not for me).
    2014 ------- surprise 2016

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  13. #209
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sora View Post
    Well I'm out. AF is here for good. I'm so angry I can't even... I remember last summer when everyone got pregnant with their boy the first try around. What is WRONG with me ? It's DD1 all over again when we took prenatals and pinpointed O and it took us more than 9 months to conceive !

    And I can't understand ! For DD2 it was all over in one attempt, DH didn't even finish inside and yet here she is, no matter how it ruined my plans for the future at the time and a big part of my life ! I'm still furious to this day at DH for blackmailing me into doing anything... Why did it happen so easily although I didn't want to, didn't take anything, was tired and all ? Why can't it work when we really want to TTC and do everything the right way ? Why ?

    I know I may sound awfull to everyone having fertility troubles but well, my thread, my rant, if I don't let it out here it will just stay bottled up and poison me again ! I feel so much like a total failure ! I can't stand it anymore ! I'm ashamed to be breathing the same air as so many better successfull women when I'm so much of a failure at everything ! Can't get a decent job, can't get DH to care about marrying me or anything really, can't protect myself and my girls from assault, can't protect my dreams and a lifetime of hard work, can't get a boy... Why am I even on this Earth again ? It looks like the harder I try, the more my dreams end up destroyed and/or stolen. But even when I let go, they don't fall into my lap either (I know some have had stories like these, when all hope was lost, suddenly everything turned out alright on its own... but apparently, it's not for me).

    Hi Sora

    I read your thread and didn’t wanna just disappear without comment when you sound so low. I’m not sure what I can say to help, but I couldn’t just say nothing.

    I’m sure atomic will be happy to advise/help where she can on the TTC front, but is it worth also speaking to your GP now - about a) TTC as it’s been a few months and b) how you feel? Just in order to explore options? Perhaps you need to speak to someone properly about how you feel rather than keep it bottled up. You mentioned assault and also not being on this earth - both pretty serious and I hate the thought of you coping alone with either of those things. Do you have an understanding doctor/professional you could chat to?

    I have a few friends who took a while to conceive after falling pregnant very quickly with earlier pregnancies. One friend took 15 months with her third when her first two took 1 or 2 cycles. I myself took 1 cycle with my first but with my 4th I think it took us about 9 cycles. As I got older my fertility just dipped - I paid privately for fertility tests just to get some answers in the end - would you consider that to perhaps put your mind at ease or shed some light? My scores were bad and had dropped massively - I was so down about it and convinced it wouldn’t happen for us, luckily despite that I managed to eventually conceive - so please don’t give up hope. Im glad I got them done though just so I knew where I was a bit more and to explain why it may be taking me longer.

    I’d just love you to have some answers & someone to confide in. Sounds like you have a lot on your plate.

    Thinking of you xx





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  15. #210
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    Quote Originally Posted by 3littleladies01 View Post
    Hi Sora

    I read your thread and didn’t wanna just disappear without comment when you sound so low. I’m not sure what I can say to help, but I couldn’t just say nothing.

    I’m sure atomic will be happy to advise/help where she can on the TTC front, but is it worth also speaking to your GP now - about a) TTC as it’s been a few months and b) how you feel? Just in order to explore options? Perhaps you need to speak to someone properly about how you feel rather than keep it bottled up. You mentioned assault and also not being on this earth - both pretty serious and I hate the thought of you coping alone with either of those things. Do you have an understanding doctor/professional you could chat to?

    I have a few friends who took a while to conceive after falling pregnant very quickly with earlier pregnancies. One friend took 15 months with her third when her first two took 1 or 2 cycles. I myself took 1 cycle with my first but with my 4th I think it took us about 9 cycles. As I got older my fertility just dipped - I paid privately for fertility tests just to get some answers in the end - would you consider that to perhaps put your mind at ease or shed some light? My scores were bad and had dropped massively - I was so down about it and convinced it wouldn’t happen for us, luckily despite that I managed to eventually conceive - so please don’t give up hope. Im glad I got them done though just so I knew where I was a bit more and to explain why it may be taking me longer.

    I’d just love you to have some answers & someone to confide in. Sounds like you have a lot on your plate.

    Thinking of you xx





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    Thanks 3littleladies, your kindness means a lot ! Sometimes I just need to explode and I hate worrying people but there are days when you just can't keep it to yourself. I don't know what's GP though ?

    But no, I have no one to talk to about these things. My family doesn't care what happens to me and hasn't for years now. And I don't trust any professional since after the assault, almost everyone I asked for help or confided in just victim blamed me. I've even been told that if I had had a more decent job at the time, maybe this wouldn't have happened. So there's that. And yeah, the "bad place, bad time" is all my fault too apparently.

    But let's not talk about this. No one can change the past and this is not the place for such stories anyway. Let's go back to TTC.

    I have thought about doing a check up of sorts for fertility but I'm afraid I will be blamed if there's something wrong with me. I'm afraid to be called a failure, a bad wife, a bad mother. Maybe I will try but later, if I don't get a BFP again. For now I don't feel safe asking anyone about anything.

    Also, didn't most of the treatments for fertility sway pink ? Like Femara and all ? Because I really don't want anything that could pile more pink dust on my head. I hope you're right and it just may be a case of the third taking longer.

    I'm sure me feeling so down is also related to TTC stress. Planning and swaying that way is really not like just deciding "we want a baby" and jumping into TTC whatever way/day. Especially blue sway. All the planning and counting and nitpicking is making me think too much, too hard and bad memories surface more easily. Yet I have to keep going because nobody is going to fetch that baby boy for me
    2014 ------- surprise 2016

    Dreaming of a

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