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  1. #1
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    Roll call--any international adoption pursuers currently out there?

    Just checking to see if there's anyone else out there who's trying or hoping to add their desired gender to their family by international adoption.

    Personally I'm negotiating with DH about adopting a little boy from Russia, where we happen to reside currently for his job.


    Good luck to all!

  2. #2
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    If our next baby ends up being a boy my DH has agreed to pursue adoption for a little girl. We would likely go through Russia, but I'm trying Atomic's amazing customized sway plan to see if that gets me my little bundle of pink. Please wish us luck!!

    Good to know there are other options out there though like adoption. Good luck to you with your adoption journey!!
    2012 (my sweetest little bug)

    2013 Thank you Atomic Sagebrush and Gender Dreaming!

    Link to my successful girl sway: http://genderdreaming.com/forum/add-...y-attempt.html

  3. #3
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    If there is such a thing as pink dust, then I have lots and lots and am sending your way.

    Good luck!

  4. #4
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    4dev we have discussed and done some research re: adopting a boy from Russia. Have you visited any of the orphanages there? Will you not be residing in Russia long term?

    One of my big concerns is bringing a child out of their country, how that isn't "fair" to them (as though it is "fair" that they are an orphan?!? so much not fair in these cases) ... I almost feel like we'd need to adopt a pair instead of a single. We have several friends who have adopted internationally and the only ones who had bio kids in the home already (the others ONLY have adopted children) did adopt two boys from the same country. I thought it was a smart move.

    But eh, we still might just have another one. Or not. I honestly don't know what we will do but adoption is definitely a consideration for us.

    Babygirl4me I also have loads of pink dust so FX for you

  5. #5
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    I was looking into Russia, all I could find was a long wait and a hefty price tag, is this correct?
    DS 1 2008
    DS 2 2010
    DS 3 2013

    May 2014 at 5 weeks

    August 2014 at 12 weeks

    DD1 our beautiful rainbow baby joined us october 2015. No sway...just miracles.

  6. #6
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    We are looking for a girl btw
    DS 1 2008
    DS 2 2010
    DS 3 2013

    May 2014 at 5 weeks

    August 2014 at 12 weeks

    DD1 our beautiful rainbow baby joined us october 2015. No sway...just miracles.

  7. #7
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    Hi, Begonia!

    We are here for another 2-3 years. Do you mean it's not fair to them in terms of taking them out of their home culture/language? I can see that, and it's a very ethical concern. But if you think about Maslowe's hierarchy of needs, the feeling of belonging in a family is more primary than the self-actualization needs that come via culture. And for very young children, while linguistic adaptation can be hard, it goes quickly (I saw that with my own daughters coming here).

    Of course, UNICEF and all reputable authorities agree that there's a ranking of options for childrens' wellbeing: keeping them in their birth family, followed by extended family adoption, followed by in-country adoption, and in last place, international adoption. Family-based solutions are always better than institutional ones. Russia makes it impossible for foreigners to adopt until after Russian families have had the chance to choose children for 6-8 months after they come into the system. So I feel safe in going this route knowing that our adoption will not displace a more optimal outcome for the child. I do speak Russian, as does DH (he's an emigre) and our daughters as well.

    Maybe you meant something else, though? Certainly sibling adoption is a wonderful thing, as sibling pairs have a much harder time being placed. If you are prepared to deal with the developmental challenges of traumatized kids of two different ages at once, then that would be fantastic. I wish I could broach it with DH but then he'd definitely have me committed!

    I've not visited orphanages themselves, but do some fundraising for charities trying to keep birth families together, and plan to do more. From what I know, the orphanage system is pretty well-funded by the state now (my group was even told by state authorities not to bother fundraising for orphanages), but the problem of course is not with poverty but with the nature of institutional care.
    Last edited by 4devochki; December 13th, 2012 at 03:53 PM.

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rosie85 View Post
    I was looking into Russia, all I could find was a long wait and a hefty price tag, is this correct?
    Hi, Rosie. I don't think the waits for receiving a referral are all that long if you are open to gender. If you are seeking a girl, and want only an ethnically Russian infant (8-24 months) then it can be up to a year after your documents are in, so I've heard; probably faster if you would take an ethnic minority child, increasing numbers of whom are being abandoned as labor migrants flood into the cities.

    Price is another story, as you have to figure agency fees (the new bilateral agreement means that U.S. citizens are required now to go through accredited agencies; maybe not for UK or other nationalities yet) as well as 2-3 trips. People on discussion groups talk about a ballpark figure of 40-50K US, with travel. Agreed, it's a lot.

    Beyond that, the drawbacks are the high % of children affected by alcohol in utero, which it's impossible to rule out conclusively until school age, and the effects of early institutionalization. Countries like South Korea which rely on fostering of abandoned children, rather than orphanages, are less risky in that sense.

  9. #9
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    Update: Russia about to shut down adoption by Americans!

    Fate is laughing at me, that's for sure. I'm trying with all my might not to be angry with DH for putting this off endlessly. We've lived here for 2.5 years and could have been done by now. And now it looks like we won't get the chance to adopt...I'm still reeling.

    I can't even face now looking at other countries to find our little boy..

  10. #10
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    No more Russian adoptions to the US. That is a bad man running things over there.

    'Mom' Loses Russian Girl Weeks From Adoption - Yahoo!.pdf

    HT is less costly.

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