Not finding out sex before birth?

[ThreeLittleStars]

Not pregnant but thinking ahead. :)
I found out with all four of my girls before birth and with dd3 and dd4 had the worst pregnancies, kept thinking the tech was wrong, praying they would come out boys etc. Of course, once they are born you love them anyway. I wanted to not find out with dd4 but was sure it was a boy so I thought I'd be fine. Nope.
I am thinking I will not find out with my next one but am scared of the ramifications of that as well.
Has anyone not found out after having many of the same gender and think it is a good idea? Thanks for your advice.

[Zivic-Bubac]

I think it might be a good idea. I'm regretting so much now I felt the need to ask about baby's gender ( unfortunately it's a :biggirl2: for us again) and all I'm feeling now is disappointment and confusion. I'm living in a constant denial, fooling myself maybe u/s was wrong.

All that could be avoided if I had been patient.

I'm going to try for No 4 asap and I'll wait until birth to find out - although I'm pretty much sure I'm capable of producing only girls :(

[ThreeLittleStars]

I know exactly how you feel. I am sure you have heard this before from others on this board but my third girl is amazing. She is so charming and everyone loves her instantly. She is smart and beautiful and so funny (if I do say so myself), and I am sure your third daughter will be no different.
Thanks for your input.

[ThreeLittleStars]

I just wonder if the reason I was ok once the girls were born was because I already knew they were girls so I wasn't disappointed in them being girls cause I already knew that, but then you see a beautiful baby that is yours and you love them either way. But if I don't know before, I am scared that I would still have the hope that it would be a boy and then when it's not, be disappointed. I just don't know which is worse.

[Yuzu]

I thought about not learning the sex until this baby is born, but I'm afraid I'll cry or make a fool out of myself when the baby is born and if it's another boy. It's a really hard decision. I don't doubt that I'll love the baby whatever sex it is, but at the same time what if everyone can see I'm disappointed? Ugh, I hate gender disappointment!

[auroara78]

The only reason I wanted to find out was that I wanted to deal with my feelings beforehand.

I did not want anything to taint my love for my baby as I held him/her for the first time, and I felt it would be too much anitipication (for me at least) to go through an entire pregnancy and then at the big moment when they announce what the baby is...I didn't want to feel one iota of regret.

That is hypothetical, because I've never waited until birth to find out. But if you felt instant love the moment you met your daughters, waiting to find out could be a good idea too.

[Myloves]

If you asked me this before my third child was born, I'd honestly think I wouldn't be able to do it. If my third had been a boy, I would have prefered to hear it at an u/s, rather than at birth so that there wouldn't be any disappoinment. In fact, the reason I did ultrasounds with all three was so that I could try and get over any gd before they were born. I would still love my baby regardless of sex, but I know I would still have a strong desire for a girl and become obsessed with ttc one. I know I did after my second boy was born. :worry:

But if I were to get pregnant right now, I wouldn't mind a surprise birth too much. I'd still prefer to have a second girl, but I would feel blessed with another boy too.

[bythestream]

I like the thought of not finding out but I think I wouldn't be able to help myself and guess on the ultrasounds anyway so I nay as well find out. And like everyone else if I had another boy I think Id like to have dealt with my feelings before the birth.

[ThreeLittleStars]

Thank you all for your input. I guess we'll see when the time comes... (and until then, I will obsess about it some more :))

[NeedAGirl!]

I did not find out with either of my boys. I had major GD with DS2 and so often I have looked back and severely regretted not knowing ahead of time. I feel I could have spent my time grieving and then actually getting excited about him arriving. My poor son didn't have a name for over a week. I truly feel that it interfered with our bonding and I can't let that happen again. I need to know as soon as possible this time. It will be really rough for a while but I am confident I can work through it before he is here. I have to...

[Hobbermittens]

I had 2 surprise babies, one of which was a girl--not what I wanted. But I didn't care when they handed her to me, and I really wasn't disappointed. I had spent the whole pregnancy excited for the baby, and was happy when she was born, even though I had hoped for a boy. With my 3rd child, I found out at 20 weeks. I was hoping for a boy, and when I found out she was a girl, I was devastated. It ruined the last half of my pregnancy. I didn't enjoy feeling the baby move; I resented this baby for taking over my body. I didn't bond during the pregnancy and then had a really hard time at the birth, feeling disconnected. It was awful. I know I would have been happier having a surprise baby, even though I would have still had some GD--I honestly think my GD got so bad because I had 20 weeks to sit and stew about gender.

I absolutely will NOT find out gender this time (my u/s is next week). I am even considering not watching the u/s at all so I don't see something by accident!!

[zareenNFO]

If you're not finding out what the sex of your baby is but want to register, you should check out notfindingout.com. It's a baby registry specifically dedicated to parents who aren't finding out. Not Finding Out has goods that are gender specific and gender neutral, so you can register for whatever you prefer. If you register for gender specific stuff, it ships immediately after the baby is born and you confirm the baby's sex with Not Finding Out. Very easy! Helps you keep the surprise from yourself and everyone else and STILL be able to register!

[ThroughWithBlue]

I had 2 surprise babies, one of which was a girl--not what I wanted. But I didn't care when they handed her to me, and I really wasn't disappointed. I had spent the whole pregnancy excited for the baby, and was happy when she was born, even though I had hoped for a boy. With my 3rd child, I found out at 20 weeks. I was hoping for a boy, and when I found out she was a girl, I was devastated. It ruined the last half of my pregnancy. I didn't enjoy feeling the baby move; I resented this baby for taking over my body. I didn't bond during the pregnancy and then had a really hard time at the birth, feeling disconnected. It was awful. I know I would have been happier having a surprise baby, even though I would have still had some GD--I honestly think my GD got so bad because I had 20 weeks to sit and stew about gender.

I absolutely will NOT find out gender this time (my u/s is next week). I am even considering not watching the u/s at all so I don't see something by accident!!

I have to completely 100% agree with this. I was told my 1st was a girl, I was THRILLED, I cried and I never cry. Then found out he was a he, devastated. 2nd was surprised pregnancy I went to an elective ultrasound at a clinic and found out he was a he and like her I HATED that pregnancy. I really honestly just wanted to die. I was so miserable. I will NOT find out the sex again. I really dont think I even want them to tell me until I hold the baby (assuming I don't have another NICU baby that would throw a wrench in the plan). Because then I'll get to see it's a baby and a human not just a boy or a girl. Then I'll look or have my DH tell me. I don't want to be so miserable and hate the pregnancy again that was just awful and I felt so guilty at the same time.

[wocket]

I still am deciding whether I will wait until birth with this pregnancy or get an elective scan. Either way I'm 6 months now and not ready to know yet. It's such an individual decision though. You have to be prepared for possible GD either before birth or at birth. Or hopefully no GD at all! GL in whatever you decide!

[moof4]

I didnt find out with my first and my last baby, the two inbetween I did. I did have GD with the two inbetween, as for this one I cant say yet.....I am hoping when I hold my baby that gender doesnt matter and in that moment it will be mother and baby.....hoping!!

[Mommyof3boys]

I didn't find out with any of mine and they were all boys. I think this worked for me because I would have been devastated the rest of the pregnancy and I didn't want to cry for months and I knew I would. At least when their born the opposite gender you have the joy of a new baby and the joy of not being pregnant to help offset the sadness of not having you DG

[amari]

I have two boys and I am pregnant with twins and not finding out. I feel the same exact way, I am really nervous that it is two more boys and I don't want to know. Once they are here I will love them, and hopefully only be a little disappointed, but if I found out now I would have a hard time dealing! I am reallllly scared!

[lisa3delta]

i am TTC number 4 at the moment (going for a boy after 3 girls) and i was so sure i was having a boy last time it never occured to me that the tech would say girl. i asked him was he SURE like 5 times through the session lol. Even after that i was convinced he was wrong. Well he wasnt!

i really hope when i finally get preg with the next one that i will be able to hold off on finding out. Its just i worry that, what if it is a boy? Ill be denying myself the chance of a really exciting last half of the pregnancy. and ill probably be going through the whole thing hoping its a boy but secretly knowing its probably another girl.

[6bluewant1pink]

I think if i get pregnant again i won't want to find out the baby gender. I have 6boys so more than likely i know it will be another boy. But you have a way better chance then me, well it seems like everyone does, good luck!

[Dovey2012]

I am giving birth in two weeks. I did not find out the gender but im not sure that has made GD any less. I have been obessing over every OWT, comparing my pregnancies, looking at skulls anything!! I've convinced myself that this baby will be the gender that I want in two weeks so im not sure what is going to happen if they say Congrats its a Boy. Will I turn my head away or will i immediately fall in love with him because he is here? I really dont know but im hoping for the falling in love bit. I currently have four boys and i would love a little girl to add to the family and this is my last baby.

[Hobbermittens]

I am giving birth in two weeks. I did not find out the gender but im not sure that has made GD any less. I have been obessing over every OWT, comparing my pregnancies, looking at skulls anything!! I've convinced myself that this baby will be the gender that I want in two weeks so im not sure what is going to happen if they say Congrats its a Boy. Will I turn my head away or will i immediately fall in love with him because he is here? I really dont know but im hoping for the falling in love bit. I currently have four boys and i would love a little girl to add to the family and this is my last baby.

I know how you feel. 5 days for me, and I am dreading it! I just KNOW it is another girl, even though I really am hoping for a boy. We swayed boy, and this is my last baby, and I am wishing I could just stay pregnant. At least right now I can dream. :(