Interesting poll over on Facebook right now

[dramabird]

I have "liked" the Barnes and Noble Nook over on Facebook (love that product, BTW, I have two) and so sometimes on my newsfeed I get their status updates about books, authors, etc. Well, they're talking about a book called "Swagger," which focuses on raising boys in today's world. To generate Facebook discussion, they asked their fans the question, "Which are harder to raise, boys or girls?"

The answer, so far: 26 people said boys are harder, 83 people said girls are harder (and many added the phrase "by far" on the girl responses). Wowza!

Bear in mind, this is ~not~ me dissing girls -- I'm swaying pink! I want a girl! But I'll admit that part of my gender desire is fueled by this notion I have that girls are sweeter, cuddlier, gentler, more verbal, more intuitive, etc., and that only boys are difficult. So I can sometimes get resentful or self-pitying, thinking that I have it tough with my boys and all my friends with girls are just lolling around, getting mommy/daughter pedicures and eating bon-bons and talking about their feelings and never having any difficulties. :giggle:

So it's nice to know that, hey, raising girls evidently isn't all roses either. Not because it changes what I want -- my desire for my boys to get their little sister is massive! -- but just because it helps me to keep some perspective. The grass is greener, the hairbows are pinker, you get my drift. ;)

(It's nice and rare, BTW, for something on Facebook to actually make my GD feel better rather than worse -- every few months, I have to select to have a FB friend's posts stop appearing on my newsfeed because yet another one will find out she's having a girl and seeing the mushy-gushy pink posts is all heart-stabby each time I see them so it's easier to block them and spare my feelings)

^^^wowthatwasalongsentence^^^ :)

[Hobbermittens]

Girls are WAY harder!! I have 2, and both are more challenging than my son has ever been. It may be personality, but he is sweet and mellow, and they are high strung and sassy.

[ThroughWithBlue]

I really think it depends on the child. Of course mine are only 2 and 1 and both boys. But I always ask moms of both genders which are harder and I'd have to say most of them say boys. But those who have an older daughter will say their daughters as a teenager/pre-teen. My family who saw my sons for the first time last year was shocked by how much more difficult boys were than they thought. My family is ALL girls from generations and generations, mom has 2 sisters, grandma had 4 sisters, her mom had 3 sisters, I have all girl cousins, LUCKY ME!!! Grass is always greener, they were always telling me how easy a boy would be, then they saw them in person.

[Myloves]

The grass is always greener isn't it? But ThroughWithBlue is right - it all depends on the kid's personality (or even the environment their being raised in).
I'd say my first boy is by far the hardest. He is a wild child; loves everything to go his way, has a horrific temper (though he is very forgiving too) oh and don't get me started on his attitude - he's sassier than most little girls I know!
My daughter is very easy. She's sweet cheerful baby, hardly ever fusses - she's everything I dreamed she would be :). But then again she's turning 18 months in a few days... still plenty of time to be troublesome later on right? :D (Both my boys however were hell at 18 months, so there is a difference between them and my girl so far).
My second boy is a gem. Ever since he turned around 2 and half, he's became easier and easier and is now a calm kid. (I'm hoping he doesn't go back to his old ways! lol)

So basically I have 1 boy whose crazy (but a joy too), another boy who is easy, and one girl whose easy too.

[Junie]

I only have a boy but I have to say that even though I very much want a girl next time- I absolutely 100% believe that the teenage years with a girl are much worse then with a boy. This isn't to say that both sexes can't be hard at different times,etc and of course personality plays a role but I know how I was as a teen and I know how my friends were and I definitely think having a 14 year old girl in the house is probably a lot more annoying then having a 14 year old boy in the house.

Let's hope if I get my girl she isn't just like me LOL!

[Yuzu]

Well, I don't know about girls, but my oldest son was absolutely horrific to raise! He had (and still has, sigh) such a mouth on him...oh, my gosh. If you say black, he says white; you say up, he says down. He'll argue with a post. I hate to talk behind the boy's back, but I don't think I've ever gotten over some of the stunts he pulled.:sigh:

[Myloves]

Well, I don't know about girls, but my oldest son was absolutely horrific to raise! He had (and still has, sigh) such a mouth on him...oh, my gosh. If you say black, he says white; you say up, he says down. He'll argue with a post. I hate to talk behind the boy's back, but I don't think I've ever gotten over some of the stunts he pulled.:sigh:

:hugs: It seems like I have a miniature verson of your oldest (hopefully things will get better as he gets older).

[Princess of Pink]

I think gender has nothing to do with it at all...it's 110% personality!! My mother would say the complete opposite, she has 1 daughter and 2 sons. I was quiet, liked to read, and play with girlie things. I did well in school, had really nice friends, didn't drink until I was 18 (legal age here), didn't have sex until I was 18 even though I had already been with my boyfriend for 2 years, got a job while in school then went to university, was responsible and never a drama. My brothers on the other hand snuck out of the house, drank, did drugs, got in with the wrong crowd, kept getting speeding/driving fines, you name it they did it!! It's who we are, not our gender.

I have a 14yr old daughter and I don't have a drama with her. I get the odd bit of sarcasm or laziness, but she has never been a drama or caused me worry. I have 2 daughters that I am sure will have me in for some trouble...but it's their personalities and not their gender. My girls have been a breeze to raise so far and have not scared me off having girl #6...they only reason I want a son is to experience something a little different...and to see what a son the DH and I produce would look like lol. I am not expecting him to be any easier or harder because he has a penis!!!

[Flava]

Maybe ppl say that who don't even have girls? I only have girls and I don't think it's so hard at all.(and I have 4!)
But sometimes we get together with a "friend' she got 1 girl 3 boys and those boys making me crazy! They make a huge mess acting like a tornado , jumping off from bunk beds ect ect. (her girl is calm )
If my girls would do the same i would have gray hair by now. I KNOW not all boys are like hers. but my girls are playing together , hanging out , watching movies, color , ect. not much fight at all. So for me girls are not hard to raise at all.:)

[Mochagirl]

I have very high maintenance, high strung boys (horrible temper tantrums, rude behavior, non-stop fighting), so I can't imagine that the young years with a girl could be any worse. Of course, those could be fatal last words... ;)

[Ribbons]

I obviously only have boys - so does my sister - but I can tell you for a FACT that my teenage boy is a TERROR sometimes, and sometimes the sweetest thing ever. (He was a challenge to raise too, but he has autism so not sure if that is a fair comparison.) DS2 is quiet, loving, and calm most of the time, but he is very clingy. My sister's boys are like little tornadoes and always have been, wreaking destruction and mischief everywhere they go! They have bright red hair and are close in age, so I like to call them Fred and George Weasley from the Harry Potter books - that's what they are like. My SIL's three boys are also little tornadoes and her girl was always sweet and calm - until she hit teenagerhood a year or so ago, now she is rude, annoying and vindictive (can't wait til she grows out of that, OMG)

My mother had two girls and a boy, and she says that girls are easy when they are younger and harder when they are older, and boys are vice versa. That being said, she says she really appreciates her girls because we are much closer as adults.

So, I guess if there is something to it, you pay for it now or later! :)

[auroara78]

I agree with PoP about personality big time!! I was just like you PoP, such a good girl! LOL, I didn't have sex until I was 20because I just waited. I read and wrote a lot when I was younger, and was very good, very out of trouble, and my siblings were the same! I have two older sisters and 1 brother, and we were all lame like that, LOL. Just really good in school, non-trouble-makers.

If you asked my mom though, she would say that us girls are cruel to her now (we dont' call her enough, that's why we're so bad) and my brother was the easiest because he (always calls her) but she claims he was easiest to raise, but I don't remember us causing her any more grief than he did.

I was just about to write a post about this because every since I found out I'm having a girl, there's been a backlash of negative comments about the teenage years are going to be utter hell, boys are easier, and now we're going to be in "trouble"...yet i know plenty of mishcevious boys in my past that prob. gave their parents headaches too, so I really am getting PISSED off at this idea that girls are so awful and tough to raise, and boys are so easy, because boys have their challenges too.

I think my DS1 with his mellow personality will continue to be a joy to be around and prob. stay easy. DS2 with his mischevious smiles and laughing when you scold him will probably be a challenge. I don't think this is inherent in their gender, but of course personality. Who knows what DD will throw at us?

[Junie]

So, I guess if there is something to it, you pay for it now or later! :)

I love this!! :)

[dramabird]

I think I was pretty darn easy as a teenager. I liked my parents and had a good relationship with them, so being smart-mouthed or sulky just wasn't my thing. I'd say that the hardest thing about me was that I had relatively low self-esteem and I desperately wanted a boyfriend. All my friends had boyfriends and I was always the single one, so I don't know how many tearful nights my parents had to spend talking to me that everything would work out (and it did ... I married a tall, lean, handsome doctor, who is still my best friend after 11 years together and is an amazing father). But I'm sure they could have done without *that* teen drama. :)

Otherwise, though, I just wasn't trouble. Didn't have my first kiss until I was a freshman in college, didn't drink until college (so, yes, underage, but in a pretty tame environment), never did drugs (heck, I've never even smoked a single cigarette), got straight A's in high school and quite high grades in college, and didn't have sex until I got married (DH was very patient during our dating years ... I told you he was great! :)).

And both my DH and his brother were easy teens. Great grades, stayed out of trouble, tended to date the same girls for quite a long period of time, and they both ended up as physicians.

My brother was always a sweet, nice kid, also did great in school (beat my ACT score by like three points, the stinker!). He tended to do stupid things with his friends ("Jackass" was a big show when he was in high school, so they loved to see how much they could embarrass or injure each other), but he continues to be a great guy overall. He's 24 now and is a fabulous uncle to my kids. He graduated recently and now works as an engineer. His biggest issue? He wants a girlfriend!! Just like his big sister, he's a late social bloomer (I don't get it, because he's six feet tall, has big muscles, a good job and is super sweet) and he has the same "I want to be in love!!!" thing I had going on when I was younger, too.

So, my way-too-long anecdotal point is: boys or girls, they can all be pretty darn good as teenagers.

With my own two boys ... our older one was an incredibly difficult baby: colic, severe eczema, spit up like a fountain constantly, plus he had a rare heart condition that required monitoring and medication. The heart condition ended up going away on its own without the cryoablation they thought would be necessary when he was older (NOBODY wants to put their 3- or 4-year-old under anesthesia to have part of his heart frozen, for crying out loud!) but then we started noticing that he was speech delayed and quite sensitive to sensory things (the sound of ripping duct tape would make him dissolve into tears as a baby) and ultimately he was diagnosed as being on the very mild end of the autism spectrum. So it felt like the poor guy just got one thing after another after another. He still has challenges with behavior (sensitivity, breakdowns), so he has a para at school, but he excels academically (he was reading at 2.5 which, unbeknownst to us at the time, was actually one of the red flags of being on the spectrum). And while as a baby and toddler he wasn't particularly affectionate or cuddly, he is now my absolute sweetheart at age 6. He always wants to crawl in our bed and cuddle, he says he's going to marry me when he grows up and he recently said, "Mommy, I will never forget to steal your heart." So a hard baby and toddler, absolutely, but in many ways has gotten so much easier.

DS2 was an easy baby who slept all the time and ate well (although he had the eczema and spitting up even worse than DS1 did) ... and then he turned into monster-boy at about 18 months. :) He's incredibly bright, soooooo verbal (which is refreshing after the issues we had with DS1) ... but obstinate and contrary to beat the band. As someone said recently, you say up, he says down, you tell him to quit, he'll do the naughty thing that much faster.

But I do kind of wonder how much of that is just being a kid, too? I mean, we'll hang out with other people's children, boys and girls, and I'll see unappealing characteristics in both. Wild girls, sulky boys, manipulative girls, rude boys ... it truly does seem to differ from kid to kid, not from pink to blue. Even things like potty-training seem to vary (I had a friend whose little boy was trained right on the dot at 2 and another whose daughter fought it out until 3-1/2). What they tell you at ultrasound or in the delivery room just isn't any sort of guarantee for hard or easy infancies, toddlerhoods or teen years.

For whatever reason, DH and I got kids who are harder than either he or I were when we were little, or than either of our brothers are. But it's just how the dice were rolled, not because they're boys. I have said that I would take a sweet, gentle, mellow, verbal DS3 over a DD that would be just as hard as our first son was the first several years.

That being said ... I would take a sweetgentlemellowverbal DD -- who says I have to choose? ;)

[Hobbermittens]

Well, I don't know about girls, but my oldest son was absolutely horrific to raise! He had (and still has, sigh) such a mouth on him...oh, my gosh. If you say black, he says white; you say up, he says down. He'll argue with a post.

Oh that is my DD1! She would argue the color of an orange! Makes me CRAZY. She also always has to have the last word in every argument, so sometimes I just walk away in the middle of her arguing and closet he door behind me. It may be rude, but I just can't take it!

[Ribbons]

Oh that is my DD1! She would argue the color of an orange! Makes me CRAZY. She also always has to have the last word in every argument, so sometimes I just walk away in the middle of her arguing and closet he door behind me. It may be rude, but I just can't take it!

I do the same thing with DS1!!! But he won't let me leave for long, he'll follow me into the other room, arguing until I either lose my temper or give in. sigh.

[Ribbons]

dramabird, you must have some pretty amazing parents to put out such great kids!

My parents were VERY strict - loving, but waaaaay too sheltering. It worked pretty well on my sister - she was mild-mannered, didn't have sex until marriage and ended up being Valedictorian... but I am a wild fire dragon Aries and was hellspawn by 15! It's amazing I don't have a record :oops: I've mellowed out considerably now :) but my mother said raising me was the hardest thing she's ever done. My brother wasn't much better than me (also Aries), but he grew up to be a great guy too!

[Hobbermittens]

dramabird, you must have some pretty amazing parents to put out such great kids!

My parents were VERY strict - loving, but waaaaay too sheltering. It worked pretty well on my sister - she was mild-mannered, didn't have sex until marriage and ended up being Valedictorian... but I am a wild fire dragon Aries and was hellspawn by 15! It's amazing I don't have a record :oops: I've mellowed out considerably now :) but my mother said raising me was the hardest thing she's ever done. My brother wasn't much better than me (also Aries), but he grew up to be a great guy too!

AAAAahhhh! I have 2 Aries daughters, and they are both difficult! I seriously wonder how many "difficult" kids are fire signs... I am a Sagittarius and I was a wild child pain in the ass... I did a poll on IG about this, maybe I will do one here! Were you year of the Dragon too?

[Ribbons]

AAAAahhhh! I have 2 Aries daughters, and they are both difficult! I seriously wonder how many "difficult" kids are fire signs... I am a Sagittarius and I was a wild child pain in the ass... I did a poll on IG about this, maybe I will do one here! Were you year of the Dragon too?

Yep! 1977!

Update: Well, I was looking up future baby signs and I am a silly girl :oops: I am not year of the Dragon, DH is! I am year of the Snake. LOL - and I've been thinking all these years I was a Dragon...

Snake doesn't seem so bad, we are supposed to be prosperous / good with money (waiting for that to kick in any day now!! :bigsmile:)

[coocoobananas]

Wow! Does being a sag and dragon year explain why I was worse than my bro and sis?! I was probably not wild compared to most, but I was a kiss ass tll about 16 and then I just remember in an instant I changed my ways and became quite naughty and rebellious!!
Btw, I have 1 even tempered boy and 1 wild child! I hate how people say "oh 2 boys! You must have your hands full!
I may have agreed if I had 2 like my youngest, but my first is like the reputation of what girls are like! They are both so awesome, and both personalities come with their pros and cons!!

[Hobbermittens]

Yikes. I was hoping my next baby would be a little easier than my others (I deserve it!!!!) but maybe the year of the Dragon will make the baby more wild. My youngest is year of the Tiger, and she is wild wild wild!

[atomic sagebrush]

I do think it's the individual kid and it totally varies over their lives. I have two very easy boys, one moderate-who-turned-out-good-in-the-end (he was my first so I did everything wrong on him), and one difficult boy who I pray daily lets up as he gets older. My brother was a sweetheart as a little boy but kind of a sh-- as a teenager. I was a super quiet and well-behaved little girl (natch!!) but struggled as I got older and made my mistakes once I left home. My sisters were terrors when little but very respectable as teens and adults.

I think the nice thing about the poll is not so much that it "proves" girls are hard and boys are easy, but more that as a boy mom sometimes I feel a vibe or perception from society as a whole that boys are destructive, unpleasant monsters that no one likes or wants, while girls are desired, preferred, and better in every way. It's just nice to see that isn't always true. I hope no girl moms take offense at that. :heart: I totally know that people are VERY rude to girl moms too (and maybe more so) it's just our perception as boy moms that the world dislikes our boys. I think it can sometimes help to see the other side of the fence.

[atomic sagebrush]

I do the same thing with DS1!!! But he won't let me leave for long, he'll follow me into the other room, arguing until I either lose my temper or give in. sigh.

That will get better as he gets older - that's how my DS 1 was also.

Always remember, strong kids grow up into strong adults!! :agree:

[atomic sagebrush]

Yikes. I was hoping my next baby would be a little easier than my others (I deserve it!!!!) but maybe the year of the Dragon will make the baby more wild. My youngest is year of the Tiger, and she is wild wild wild!

My "Rat" is the worst of the lot LOL!!!! A rat, how bad can that be right?? o.O twitch, twitch...

[Hobbermittens]

Oh I looked into the Year of the Dragon, if anyone is interested--and it turns out that this year is the Water Dragon, which means that it is a mellower version of the Dragon sign. I guess each year has a different version--Water, Metal, Fire, Wood, and Earth. Here is a site that talks about it...

Chinese Zodiac - Chinese Astrology from ChineseZodiac.com (http://www.chinesezodiac.com/index.php)

[Hobbermittens]

My "Rat" is the worst of the lot LOL!!!! A rat, how bad can that be right?? o.O twitch, twitch...

I am the year of the rat, and I was a complete turd as a child, so I can see that. :oops:

[atomic sagebrush]

Aw Hobber, I doubt that!!! :)

[atomic sagebrush]

Oh I looked into the Year of the Dragon, if anyone is interested--and it turns out that this year is the Water Dragon, which means that it is a mellower version of the Dragon sign. I guess each year has a different version--Water, Metal, Fire, Wood, and Earth. Here is a site that talks about it...

Chinese Zodiac - Chinese Astrology from ChineseZodiac.com (http://www.chinesezodiac.com/index.php)

Thank heavens!!!!

[Hobbermittens]

Aw Hobber, I doubt that!!! :)

Oh, you have no idea! I was funny, a smart ass, class clown, and very artistic, so I think people enjoyed me on some levels, but I was a total shit. I was disobedient, selfish, sneaky, talked back, was mean to my siblings, and probably made my parents' life very difficult. I have ADHD, and I was very energetic and wouldn't shut up; I had a horrible negative attitude (some things never change, ha ha) and I stomped around when I didn't get my way. The thing is , my parents remember NONE of it!! The older they get, the less the recall of the bad stuff. Now they only remember me having a lot of energy, and being "spunky". I remind them of some of the crap that I pulled and they poo-poo it, like I am exaggerating! It is hilarious.

Anyway, I think my own difficult children are my bad kharma, a pay back for how awful I was.

[Butterfly Spirit]

Oh, you have no idea! I was funny, a smart ass, class clown, and very artistic, so I think people enjoyed me on some levels, but I was a total shit. I was disobedient, selfish, sneaky, talked back, was mean to my siblings, and probably made my parents' life very difficult. I have ADHD, and I was very energetic and wouldn't shut up; I had a horrible negative attitude (some things never change, ha ha) and I stomped around when I didn't get my way. The thing is , my parents remember NONE of it!! The older they get, the less the recall of the bad stuff. Now they only remember me having a lot of energy, and being "spunky". I remind them of some of the crap that I pulled and they poo-poo it, like I am exaggerating! It is hilarious.

Anyway, I think my own difficult children are my bad kharma, a pay back for how awful I was.

Hobber, I laughed until the last sentence :P
I think we just needed to be shown all that our parents did or did not do for us!
It's so overwhelming at times, and I know I was a HUGE pain in my mom's rear also! bahahaha

[Yuzu]

Anyway, I think my own difficult children are my bad kharma, a pay back for how awful I was.

Hobber, I think the same about myself! I was a terrible child, but very intelligent (if I do say so myself). I had such a smart mouth, and I didn't listen at all. I don't even know why. I just remember being very unhappy as a teen. My siblings were such goody two-shoes too. They are both doctors now. Show-offs!:giggle:

I see a lot of myself in my oldest son, though he's taken it to the nth degree. Of course, I must admit that I wasn't the best mother to my oldest two. I used to nag horribly. I just couldn't help it. It didn't affect DS2 too much because he's autistic, but I was always a little too hard on DS1 and I made a lot of mistakes with him that I regret to this day.

One of the best things about being an older new mom is that I'm much more easygoing than I used to be. DS3 and I have such a wonderful, loving relationship. It's completely different than my relationship with DS1.

[auroara78]

I love how this post evolved! I love hearing more about ya'lls families and backgrounds!!

I posted this on a diff post, but I used Hobber's chinese calendar thing and discovered that I was born year of the horse
(1978) and it really describes me a hell of a lot more than being an Aries. The only trait that I share as an Aries is my attitude of when I want something, I go after it with all my might! Horses are hard-working and like being around people. That is very much me.

DS1 is a pig (said he's generous and chatty, very true....), DS2 is a rabbit (I don't really agree he fits much of that so far, he's only 1, so I'll give him time), and this baby of course will the water dragon.

Hobbers, I was filled with relief to learn that we wouldn't have a fire dragon, lol! A water dragon I can handle :)

[Hobbermittens]

Hobbers, I was filled with relief to learn that we wouldn't have a fire dragon, lol! A water dragon I can handle :)
I know, I had the same feeling! :) My dad is a dragon, andhe is a very hard worker and has been very successful and well liked his entire life, so that made me feel better too. I actually had no idea that dragons were wild or anything--they are so desirable that Chinese people have been trying to get pregnant this past year so they could have a dragon baby!!

[atomic sagebrush]

Auroara, I am also very very similar to my Chinese Zodiac (Dog.) I'm close to my Western Zodiac too (Gemini) but the Chinese Zodiac has been crazy accurate for family and friends.

I almost pooped my pants when I realized my baby was going to be a Dragon AND a Leo!! o.O. The water dragon is a huge relief to me too!!

[Hobbermittens]

Atomic, I thought Geminis and Leos got along well? I know several couples that are Gemini/Leo and several best friend sets as well.

My dad is a Leo as well as a dragon (I guess you saw the post about him above) and he truly is awesome, though he does have a temper. I have no idea what he was like as a kid, but as an adult, he is a very driven and successful (he is a doctor), a hard worker, honest, and has a big heart.

[auroara78]

Dragon & a Leo--sounds like you're going to have a very driven DD Atomic!!

Mine will be a Virgo & Dragon, and I'm not sure...Virgos are supposed to be clean-freaks and??? I am very biased towards Libras. My DS1 is one and he is so dang likeable and lights up a room wherever he goes. He's got such a big heart for a 4-year old boy :heart: And then the Chinese Zodiac of him being a pig matches him pretty well so far. I feel DS2 is much more Tauruan than Rabbit right now.

So leaves me left contempating what the heck I'm going to get with a water dragon + virgo, LOL.

Hobbers, sounds like you're dad is awesome :) I love Dads like that; mine was very hard working but super quiet and intensely private. He was always a mystery to me that I had to unravel. We'd spend hours gardening together, and he wouldn't say a word except to make sure I ws doing it right. I just enjoyed being in his company, however, so I didn't want to ruin it by talking, since I knew he was a very quiet person. When he opened up eventually and told me stories of his days in the Phillipines while he was in the Navy, I felt I had been awarded for my patience! My dad's an Aquarius, and he is his sign to a T.

Before i knew I was pregnant, I was going to skip TTC until April/May in hopes of conceving an lovely Feb. baby that would be an Aquarius too :) but I think September is going to rock! I'm so silly, but I keep thinking about how lovely sapphire is for a birth stone. When I was younger, I had my ears pierced with the sapphire stone color because I didn't like diamond one (thought diamonds were boring, only for wedding rings, etc.) So then everyone thought my birthday was in September! So I got tired of it, and then got a cubic zironia one so other girls wouldn't think I was born in sept, but rather in my right month, april.

[begonia]

ITA re: it's personality not gender that makes a child difficult or easy.

What I personally find hard about raising daughters is not their personality, but more the issues society forces on them ... for example, DD2's birthday was yesterday and one of her gifts was a wand. You press a button and it says phrases. One of them that just exemplifies everything I find despicable about "girl" toys says "I'll be the prettiest girl at the library!"

Because THAT is what important when you're a young girl, according to Hasbro Toys ... NOT being the smartest girl at the library, but the PRETTIEST. And that's why I think raising girls is harder ... there's so much more pressure not only on what you achieve (that's on boys too for sure) BUT also on what you look like, which quite honestly so much is genetics and they can't control, KWIM? But that's why there's so many more girls with eating disorders than boys :( I'm not saying boys aren't encouraged to be strong, or manly or what have you, but really ... all of DD1's toys are super heros and I've yet to press a button on one of them and hear "I'm going to be the strongest boy at the library." I don't think men/boys face the same pressures from society/toys when it comes to appearance.

[auroara78]

Begonia, if I could have liked your post 10x over, I would have!

I def. agree wholeheartedly with everything you said. When I was younger, the one thing my mom did right (she is a bit nutso) is when she saw how much I loved reading, she always let me buy books all the time. She knew reading was important.

I did play with Barbies though, and did want to get a Barbie Dream House (I never did get that, lol, too expesive) but almost every weekend after mall shopping, I did end up getting a bag full of books from the local bookstore.

I just realized that after I found out the baby is a girl how many people comment about "her being a princess" or "get ready for trouble." It disturbed me a great deal and made me cozigant of the challenges that raising a daughter will entail, mostly society and how they want to force little girls to only be worried about their looks and etc. I agree it is so hard. I hope my working and my husband being a stay at home Dad will just illustrate to her that she really can do whatever she wants. If she wants to one day be a stay at home mom, I'll be supportive, but if she wants to get a ton of education and land a good job, I'll support that too. I just want her focus to be on doing well in school and learning and not get stuck in just wondering if she looks pretty enough.

My sons certainly do not have a single toy that says "I'm strongest boy there is." All I have is a crazy 4-year old who growls like a T-rex all the time and says it aloud all the time "I'm the biggest T-rex there is! RAWR!!" :rofl:

[atomic sagebrush]

I know some pretty nutty Leos, so bad experiences there.

Your dad sounds awesome!!

[atomic sagebrush]

OMFG Begonia that caused me intense physical pain. (PS - the F is for "freaking" I promise)

We need someone to make Lisa Lionheart!!

[begonia]

OMFG Begonia that caused me intense physical pain. (PS - the F is for "freaking" I promise)

We need someone to make Lisa Lionheart!!

DH said he thought my head was literally going to spin when I heard it :rofl:

Needless to say that toy might get ... "lost" ... soon :wink:

[Hobbermittens]

DH said he thought my head was literally going to spin when I heard it :rofl:

Needless to say that toy might get ... "lost" ... soon :wink:

Take the batteries out when she's asleep, and then she will think it is broken. :)

[atomic sagebrush]

Being Born in Winter Can Mess With Your Head | Birth Season & Mental Disorders | LiveScience (http://www.livescience.com/20237-birth-season-mental-disorders.html)

No one should be scared by this but I do think it's interesting that there ~may~ be some science behind astrology!!

[Hobbermittens]

Being Born in Winter Can Mess With Your Head | Birth Season & Mental Disorders | LiveScience (http://www.livescience.com/20237-birth-season-mental-disorders.html)

No one should be scared by this but I do think it's interesting that there ~may~ be some science behind astrology!!
That is a really interesting article! Glad I am still taking my vitamin D supps. As for schizophrenia, there is some stupid link to mothers having the flu during pregnancy, which of course scares the crap out of me since I had the swine flu while pregnant with DD2. :( I think the risk is pretty small, though.

[atomic sagebrush]

I had it too Hobber, when pg with DS 4.

[Hobbermittens]

I had it too Hobber, when pg with DS 4.

I hope it doesn't affect our kids!! My dad was telling me about the study, not remembering that I had the flu when pregnant, and when I reminded him, he totally back pedaled and tried to make it sound like it wasn't a big deal, because he didn't want me to worry. :sigh:

Here's a link I found.

Mother's flu during pregnancy may increase baby's risk of schizophrenia (http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2010/03/100311123528.htm)

[nuthinbutpink]

Raising 3 DDs like Begonia and being a woman myself, I think the lifelong challenges surrounding "what is best" at each stage in life is very difficult for girls. Anybkid can be a nightmare. I didn't even read the FB thing but it seems to be pretty straight forward so far with DS as far as future expectations and what kind of person he *should* grow up to be and the path he *should* take to get there.

For my DDs, there are challenges as far as life choices go. My expectations for them balanced by what they want and who they are, do you advise them to just be a mom and raise a family? Do you advise them to be the President and go for everything? Try to juggle work and family without messing up their own kids? What is best? Obviously, what's best is subjective but it's not as straightforward as a boy, then man.

It's hard to be a woman. That's why I think raising girls is hard.

[atomic sagebrush]

My DS 2 was at some higher risk of schizo for some reason...thinking...oh yeah, I was exposed to toxoplasmosis during pg. He turned out relatively normal LOL.

[atomic sagebrush]

I agree totally NBP. :/

[auroara78]

nicely put, NBP.

I personally chose a career that paid decently but didn't have crazy exec-like hours or the stress of a high wheeling job. I feel like I chose something in the happy medium of a career and still have a good family life.

I hope my daughter can find her own balance.