First vivid dream..so vivid i woke up in a sweat and panic!!!

[toomanyboys]

well i had my first realy vivid dream today around 4-5am this morning woke up with a panic attack...and it was so real i actually woke up wondering if it did happen.......

i dreamt i went my ultrasound and there were TWO little beans in there...and as dreams go....i managed to suddenly also find out that one was a boy and one a girl....in my dream i was happy and shocked but also evry dissapointed....becasue i really like the idea of twins but i just didn't want the blue baby at all....:(....

it feels bad to say this but i love the idea of twins yet having another boy or boys is filling me with dread....i am hoping this feeling will go away..i have no desire to shop blue or think i will enjoy saying i have another son....it is horrible i know...but it just goes to show that my GD is really really strong at the moment......i mean to have twins was always something i would kind of fantasise about but just don't want to share that joy with having a blue bundles...never mind 2 one seems to get me panicking...:(...

i am a really bad person really really bad... :(

[Myloves]

You're not a bad person! I'd love two extra girls myself - but that's not in the cards for me, I'm done :D.
I know you're feeling guilty for not wanting a boy, and big :hugs: to you - but remember that you love the boys you already have and will feel the same love for this baby too if it's boy.
When are you going to find out the gender?
Try not to let this dream work you up too much. I had a weird and very intense dream that I gave birth to a boy when I was around 10 weeks with my girl. I too woke up feeling strange and rather sad that my last baby might not be a girl. Fast forward two years and now I look back think that I dreamed it because I was didn't want to get my hopes up too much I would have a girl only to have my girl come out as boy#3. (Does that make sense?)
I really hope you get your second girl!

[toomanyboys]

awww...thanks for those encouraging words.....i do love my boys i really do....just feel petrified that i will that one more..I SO enjoy my DD right now that the sight of boys babies makes me look the other way in disseray...just the mere thought of having to go through the blue experience is something i just cannot even imagine right now i could enjoy....i feel have done it one too many times....been there done that bought the t shirt kind of thing...nothing about a boy baby is filling with any kind of joy it is terrible way to feel i know but i am not going to lie about it....
i will be in my second tri around septmeber so won't be able to find out for sure until then however having said that i can book private scans between 12 week sna 20 to maybe find out for myself....i will try my best to get a decent 12week scan pic to see if the nub gives somthing away....i know i need to find out in order to deal witht the outcome....
my boys are all good boys happy boys a bit nuts and a but of a handful but it is my DD i feel i just had too little of...i still have all her clothes her bedding and her accessories and i would love to re-use them all.....time went so quick my princess is 4 now and i just feel i havent't relished enough in the pink experience.....
i can only hope whatever the outcome mother instinct will take overand make it all OK but for now i am sorry to say i cannot stand the idea if blue!!!!!:(