How soon did you go HT?

[deaks66]

Hi all,

Id love to know how soon you went forward with HT after having your last baby. I am 17 weeks pg (due in oct) and hoping to do ivf pgd aug next year. Did you find that once your baby was born that you didn't want to go ahead with pgd quite as soon as you thought? or perhaps you were straight onto the pretesting once baby arrived?! Just be interested to see how my emotions might pan out as so far the knowledge of doing pgd has definitely helped me deal with my gd. But perhaps i will feel differently once he's here!

[UGOS]

Before I had my baby I knew I would be doung PGD for the next one. But I waited until baby was 21/2 yrs before starting.

[deaks66]

Thanks. Would love to know reasons too for why anyone waited.... financial, too much to juggle, gd was less....

[girlmom]

i was going to do it! after dd6 was born i kinda went crazy. i begged dh for ht or adoption. and i started to save. every single penny went into my savings account. dh started sniffing around and saw how much i saved. he said, "let's take the girls on vacation!" i said no. we fought and fought and in the end i felt like i was taking away from my daughters by not sharing with them. so we went on vacation. omg it was amazing and just what we needed. i made wonderful memories instead of failed ht cycles full of tears. i have photo albums to share for generations and not money spent on fertility drugs that may do more harm then good. plus i watched my daughters. we played together. i learned to love my family full of girls. i was proud of them.

when we got home i threw out all the suppliments and books and opks everything. i enjoyed sex with my husband again, it wasn't a chore to make a boy anymore. within a month i was pregnant with my son. sometimes taking a step back and being happy with what i was given makes me think that was all i needed. but then again i had 7 daughters trying to get this boy and 3 miscarriages. maybe it was just my turn finally? but gd does go away, its hard to see that when your kids are so small but trust me once they get a little older it dosen't matter anymore. now i care more about science fair projects and homework then whats in my daughters diaper.

[Zivic-Bubac]

I'm thinking about HT for No.4. I'm 23 weeks pregnant and it's a girl. I'm in disbelief.
DH is against, but he'll come around.
I think to give it a go when this baby turns 1 or so, bcos we need some time to save money and I'm not sure how I'll handle 2 kids with a small age gap.

[deaks66]

girlmom, i actually just read your story on another thread earlier today... absolutely fantastic! Mind you, if it had gone the other way.... and thats a risk im just not willing to take. Id rather stick at 3 boys than chance 4 naturally. Don't get me wrong, i LOVE boys its just that the reason i would get pg again is because i want a girl. So happy it worked for you though!

Zivic, sounds like we are in similar positions then, just opposite genders and you are a few weeks ahead. I too worry about how to juggle ds3 and a 4th if the gap was too close but i also know that knowing it was a girl would make it so much easier. It will be interesting to see what happens to our gd when they arrive. I know that with ds2 i was totally at peace and excited by his arrival but i also remember it didn't take long after to start swaying... perhaps 8 or 9 months. Im wandering if it will be back on my mind quickly this time too...

anyone else?

[nuthinbutpink]

You must wait a minimum of 6 months postpartum to do pretesting. You have to let your body heal and hormone levels go back to new normal. You also need to consider your new baby and make sure he/she gets what they need from you before you simply move on to the next. HT will always be there but your baby is only a baby once. Also, you cannot breast feed and pretest and cycle at the same time. Baby must be fully weaned and you must have AF back.

[deaks66]

Thanks NBP, i hope i didn't come across as uncaring towards my new baby as i don't feel that way at all. I was actually wandering whether i would feel that 10months old would be too soon as unfortunately for us UK girls, a lengthy trip to the US for HRC would probably mean august school hols and im trying to work out if that would be manageable next year or whether i would have to/want to wait a whole other year. I am trying to get my plans in order so that i don't have to think about this stuff when the baby is here. Unfortunately for me i cant breast feed so my cycles tend to go back very quickly anyway.

[nuthinbutpink]

Thanks NBP, i hope i didn't come across as uncaring towards my new baby as i don't feel that way at all. I was actually wandering whether i would feel that 10months old would be too soon as unfortunately for us UK girls, a lengthy trip to the US for HRC would probably mean august school hols and im trying to work out if that would be manageable next year or whether i would have to/want to wait a whole other year. I am trying to get my plans in order so that i don't have to think about this stuff when the baby is here. Unfortunately for me i cant breast feed so my cycles tend to go back very quickly anyway.

Hey, I did my pretesting when DD3 was 6 months old! 10 months is just fine. It's totally up to you after that 6 month point! You can consult before the 6 month and get your pretesting orders though so you can be ready to go.

[deaks66]

I too will hopefully be doing pretesting at 6 months then US for treatment at 10 months... just hoping he's an easy baby boos that will be one big holiday! NBT can i ask what the age ranges of your children are? my eldest will only be heading towards 5 at the time of treatment!

[nuthinbutpink]

They were 8,5,2.5 My pretesting was poor and my first cycle was cancelled and then I waited anothe 8 months or so. So my youngest was 2 and 9 months when DS came. In hindsight, I'm glad it took longer because I am not a baby person and two under 2 when have been a struggle. DS has been difficult because now there are 4 of them! When you're waiting, it feels like forever though.

[begonia]

They were 8,5,2.5 My pretesting was poor and my first cycle was cancelled and then I waited anothe 8 months or so. So my youngest was 2 and 9 months when DS came. In hindsight, I'm glad it took longer because I am not a baby person and two under 2 when have been a struggle. DS has been difficult because now there are 4 of them! When you're waiting, it feels like forever though.

This is me :) Well .. I am a baby person, but not a more-than-one-at-a-time baby person and to me, under 2 is still a baby. My first two are 3.5 years apart, and these 2 are 2 years 10 months apart. I love the 3 year spacing.

DH told me last night he's OK with HT if that's what I want to do. But given that I breastfeed for a year we're a long way from even doing pre-testing... I'll be 35 then too :worry: And to be honest I'm still hoping I'll get over the gender desire so I am fine with it being more than a year before I pursue anything on it. So, for me, DD3 will likely be 15-18 mos before (if) I do anything.

[deaks66]

yeah 4 under 6 would be a challenge all right! hmmm need to stay open minded about when to go for HT but im just such a planner, i cant relax till its all settled in my mind.

[deaks66]

Funnily enough the main thing that pushes me to go for it next year is that ds3 will still be pretty immobile and will fly in a sky cot to the US. If i leave it till the easter or summer of the following year, the flight would be a nightmare with a wriggly 18 month old! Id rather do a shorter journey to genesis at that time but really want to give HRC a go first.

[nuthinbutpink]

Begonia! That's awesome HT is an option! Give yourself time though. You may feel fab with the party of 5! After that, you have to wait for the big table!

[begonia]

LOL about the table NBP :) It is awesome :bigsmile: Even if we don't pursue it I'm happy just knowing I really could try it with DH's support. I assumed he'd never be open to it, and were it JUST him he wouldn't be, but because a DS so important to me he said he'll make it that important to him as well. And if that means we have to go through IVF then he's along for the journey.

Deaks I loathe air travel with 12-24 month olds! Before 12 months I feel like they're manageable and after 2 they can be entertained with things but oh, that 12-24 month range ... it's tough!

[fourunderfour]

What kind of HT are you guys doing? Last year I had 4 under 4 (all boys) - now I have 4 ages 1-5. It is pretty hectic.
Is the only type of HT available PGD? I recently called a place in our area that boasted they did M/S but when I called they said it didn't get FDA approval so it is no longer available.

[nuthinbutpink]

The only thing left is IVF with PGD. There are clinics that offer IUI with spinning but they are few and far between and it is NOT Microsort.

[bluedreams]

I am 6 months pregnant with DD2 and I have been researching clinics ever since I found out I am having another girl. I am interested in this one clinic in NY and have been in contact with the office via email. I would love to consult with the doctors but I feel I have to wait until I have the baby. Has anyone had a consult while pregnant? I feel it is best to go now before I have 2 kids running around. I just want to find out all the information I can and the costs so I know how much to save up.

[deaks66]

Yes the air travel alone is enough to help me make my decision!

Bluedreams, my plan is to get all my research other than speaking to the clinics done while pregnant so that all i have to do when the baby arrives is consult and pretesting (as well as what follows obviously). I feel that speaking to the clinics any earlier would almost be pointless as things i would need to ask them or info they can give me might change by the time im ready to go for it so i may as well wait to consult nearer the time. Mind you that is possibly because i know i will use HRC first followed by Genesis and i can get most info i need on this website. If i was having trouble deciding on a clinic i would probably do some ringing around whilst pg.

[deaks66]

What kind of HT are you guys doing? Last year I had 4 under 4 (all boys) - now I have 4 ages 1-5. It is pretty hectic.
Is the only type of HT available PGD? I recently called a place in our area that boasted they did M/S but when I called they said it didn't get FDA approval so it is no longer available.

fourunderfour, is it still manageable having 4 such little ones? Mine would be 4 under 6 if HT miraculously worked first time. Would i feel like i am drowning?

[jils04]

My dd is nearly 3 so started ht when she was just over 1. I felt I had to give her my attention and bf etc.. before I focussed on another bub. Basically felt bad. glad I did as it took over 2 yrs and 4 cycles to get DS !

[fourunderfour]

in all honesty "drowning" was what I felt the first few months our twins were born. but there was 2 of them.
My husband and I joked all the time about how easy having 1 would be. our big boys get along outstandingly well and would play together all day (except naptime). i can remember vividly as I sat down to nurse the twins I'd say a prayer that the boys wouldn't kill themselves or each other. "please no blood - or at least until I'm done here!" haha
we had a lot of support with our church and they met our situation as best they could with open arms (to take the big boys for a few hours some mornings and providing meals).
things seem super normal now. it feels like just yesterday the twins came home (at that time we had an 18 month old and a 4 yr old), but then again, it feels like forever.
our oldest (now 5) doesn't nap, so that's something i've had to get used to (no nap for mommy and having him around me all the time)...but with that, because he is older and is an excellent tattletale ;) - he enjoys hanging out with the babies in the playroom or outside while i watch from a safe distance (like now while enjoying surfing the web.) ;)
if you and your DH are mentally prepared (i was, hubs was not) for the chaos that can come about when a new child (any new child/dren) come home, then I say go for it!
what doesn't kill you makes you stronger! :)
"For I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength! Phil 4:13"
plus how much fun will camping trips be when they are all at the age to enjoy it! :)
can't wait!

fourunderfour, is it still manageable having 4 such little ones? Mine would be 4 under 6 if HT miraculously worked first time. Would i feel like i am drowning?

[deaks66]

if you and your DH are mentally prepared (i was, hubs was not) for the chaos that can come about when a new child (any new child/dren) come home, then I say go for it!
what doesn't kill you makes you stronger! :)
"For I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength! Phil 4:13"
plus how much fun will camping trips be when they are all at the age to enjoy it! :)
can't wait!

Ha yes, i think i probably would be mentally prepared, dh not so! But like you say while there are downsides when they are young, the benefits when they are older are great too... i love the idea of doing holidays where they are all enjoying themselves bcos they are of a similar age. Well we will see! If ds3 is an easy-ish baby and i feel it wont be taking anything away from him, if dh still agrees and if i feel prepared for the emotional rollercoaster then im pretty sure we will go for it next summer :)

[seven gorgeous babies]

I never found out gender of ds 5 before birth, and knew when he was days old it would have to be hi tech.

I remember starting all me research when he was 9 days. But I knew nothing and thought it would take months to work out how it all worked.

I can remember saying to dh that I ideally wanted a 2.5 yr gap BUT as hi tech was not likely to work first time I wanted to start ASAP!

My baby was 9 months old when I first cycled. And then 14 months for 2nd cycle at hrc.
And it was easier with him this young as he had sky cot and slept most of the way.

My final cycle he was 20 months old and we had a villa in Cyprus which he loved- he had so much room he just pottered round all day :)

And in the end I got my perfect 2.5 yr gap!

Funny how before I started it all I 'knew' deep down that I'd have that gap and twin girls!!!

The other thing was age. I had ds5 days before I was 35, so knew to get a few good cycles in it needed to be sooner rather than later!

[deaks66]

fivegorgeousbabies, thanks for your reply! Definitely thinking of starting sooner rather than later as i want to keep the age difference between dc1 and dc4 as small as possible and thinking it might take several attempts, whats the point in waiting! Amazing how you knew about the gap and twin thing! I always knew i would have three boys :)

[gizmo77]

im almost done with pregnancy #3 another girl. i find myself trying to convince myself that its ok to have 3 girls but i just cant shake it. i ve always wanted 4 kids (2b2g) but no wid be happy wth just ONE boy. so theres no way id sway again being that i felt i swayed hard core and it still didnt work. for me the only answer is pgd/ivf. unless i just keeping pumping the babies out endlessly till i get one. but id liek to stop at 4.
my first hurdle is to convince DH for a 4th (he is KINDA there i THINK)
2nd hurdle is to convince him to do IVF/PGD (he thinks the baby will come out strange with all the scientifici manipulation and that its "not right.")
3rd hurdle is to tell him how much it costs! and that it may not happen in one cycle!!!

ive found some clinics close to where i live. ive narrowed it down to 2. i think ill consult behind dh's back when #3 is around 6mos..depending on how i feel at the time. then maybe do prestesting after the baby is 12 mos. i DO want to enjoy the baby..i like the baby stage (not the 12-24 mos stage).and i do plan to breastfeed for 12mos.
i dont mind any age gap between kids..im stressed already but i run a tight enough scheduled ship (so far) to allow myself some mommy (and mommy/daddy) time. but i also want to see if i can handle 3 kids! and i have to show dh that i can!!! im already getting overly stressed with the 2 (they are 20 mos apart. and #2 and #3 will be 2yrs and 5 mos apart). but i also am turning 35 a couple weeks BEFORE i deliver. so i feel pressured to start for #4 right away. DH would have preferred larger gaps i think..but we got married and had kids late (starting 30).
i still wnat a boy..esply after i come on here...so im trying not to come on here as much!!!
for the sake of my dh!!
god luck to everyone!

ps where do you UK'ers go (what state) to get IVF/PGD done?? curious.

[deaks66]

Gizmo, reading your post was very similar to my story. Swayed hard for a year but still didn't work. I turn 33 this year so although still got some time, am worried that if I need multiple attempts at pgd, that I wont be getting any younger. My dh is ok with idea of pgd though not ideal for him, the money we can pretty much get together, I cant breast feed anyway so there are many factors indicating we coukd move forward quite quickly. But like you I need to know how I will cope with 3 first I guess. I too keep a tight ship and I get plenty of mummy time though not much with my dh as he works rediculously long hrs. But the logistics of getting ds1 to school, ds2 to preschool, having ds3 and being pregnant (not to mention my dog) freaks me out a little!

As far as clinics go in America, it seems to me that most uk-ers go to HRC but it is also a toss-up between US and Europe clinics such as genesis. I am keen to try HRC first and then try genesis if that fails but I can see the benefits of not travelling to the US as it makes for a very expensive trip. Hmmm.

I too find that sometimes coming on here makes my gd worse but other days I find it good therapy, plus I'm learning loads about pgd :)