Time Magazine goes for shock value cover

[nuthinbutpink]

I think it is silly and gross at this point. No four year old should be nursing still. Can you imagine how he will be made fun of when he is a teen?

Time Magazine's Breastfeeding Cover: Moms React | Parenting - Yahoo! Shine (http://shine.yahoo.com/parenting/time-magazines-breastfeeding-cover-moms-react-185700989.html)

"While this picture is gawk-tastic, I'm more disturbed by the title of the article. 'Are You Mom Enough?'" Yahoo! reader Chrissy from Conroe, Texas, commented. "I'm sorry...'Mom Enough?' So this woman is deemed more of a 'mom' simply because she chose to breastfeed her child until he was damn near as tall as she is?"

Seriously, at some point, you have to let them go and there is clearly no nutritional value anymore so who really benefits from this kind of extended feeding. I bet she wanted to keep the boobs.

[KnockYourBallsOff]

I think to each their own. However, I agree the title is negative. SOOO not what women need to hear...another reason we're not good enough.

[OnlyPraying]

*my eyes* *my eyes* ewww...yuck! :shrug:

[Betty Draper]

I believe this cover was meant to force people to confront the problem they have with breastfeeding. Believe me, many people are uncomfortable with seeing a two year old, three year old, or four year old nursed. Why, you have to wonder. It certainly isn't bad for the child. People let their small children watch TV, eat sugar, drink foul-smelling formula, and do numerous other activities that ARE known to be bad for them. I have been to play dates for two year olds where a parent will bring a box of Munchkins for the kids to eat. Nobody bats an eye. But if the same mom nursed her child? She'd get looks. So yeah, this picture is going to get tons of negative responses. Hopefully, though, it will in some way force people to think about WHY it upsets them. My mom has asked me not nurse at a restaurant because people are eating . . . . shouldn't the baby eat, too?!

[jils04]

I think nursing a baby is a wonderful thing if you are able. They need the nutrition breast milk provides until a certain age where teeth start to come and solid food starts to be introduced. By about 18mths, they are eating what I eat.
How is it beneficial to keep nursing way past when they are eating chicken and steak ??
That pik is gross.its offensive as its nothing about the child, more about the psycho mother.

[nuthinbutpink]

It's not a baby. He's not even a toddler. At what age is it inappropriate? 9,10? Teenage years? Babies and toddlers are one thing but when there is no benefit to the child anymore, I believe it is more the mom getting off on having the child still need her like an infant does.

[Hobbermittens]

I am all for breastfeeding, but I had to cut my kids off at about 18 months for various reasons--one wouldn't sleep through the night until weaned, one bit me so many times I had 2 breast infections, etc. But even if they had kept going, I can't imagine going longer than 2 or 2 1/2 years. But that's just me. I do think the cover of the magazine is in poor taste, and rather than show that attachment parenting is a good thing, I think it will just offend people.

[Yuzu]

I don't care if she breastfeeds until he's 27; I have a bigger problem with the adversarial tone of the headline. What do you mean "Am I mom enough?" Uh, gee. I don't know. I guess the fact that I had to bottle feed makes me a genuinely lousy mom. I'll have to live with it, Time Magazine.

They aren't interested in parenting. They're just interested in selling their stupid magazine. Next they'll have a picture of an uncircumcised penis with the headline, "Are you man enough to be uncut?"

By the way, I'm not trying to imply there is something wrong with breastfeeding. Of course there isn't. I just hate the way media tries to pit women against each other, rather than bringing them together.

[Butterfly Spirit]

I saw this on tv tonight , and it's just WRONG!!!!
Not even realistic at all!

Well I mean.. that kid looks 6 or 7 to me.

I know ladies BF 3 and even 4 yr olds.

[Myloves]

By the way, I'm not trying to imply there is something wrong with breastfeeding. Of course there isn't. I just hate the way media tries to pit women against each other, rather than bringing them together.

Amen. Just another way to make mothers feel 'inadequate'.

[DoulaMama]

I have an issue with the title. As for nursing until 3-4yo...I have zero issue with. I may nurse my daughter that long. I find your first post, NBP, offensive and it comes across as quite ignorant. There is nutritive value. Moms don't nurse into toddler years for their own benefit only. The natural weaning age of children is actually closer to 4yo. All this I know because I've researched breastfeeding for the past 3 years now. But what do I know....

[nuthinbutpink]

Doula, I get a vibe from you that I am less of a mom and because I am not as "organic" or "crunchy" as you, I am not on your level. That makes me sad and I am sorry that you believe me to be ignorant. Why can't I joke about the picture? It's obviously ridiculous and I believe hurtful to breastfreding moms everywhere because it casts them in an extremist and defiant light. They lead with a title that does nothing but put others down. Maybe there is an elitist undertone in the extended BF world? Maybe they do feel like they are better moms than those of us that only BF 6 months to a year.

I respect a woman's right to BF. At some point, it grosses me out. Why is it not okay for me to say that? That picture is distributing to me and that large boy just looks odd and I feel sorry for him in years to come with his friends. That doesn't make me ignorant. There are no studied after the age of 2 on the benefits of BF. I realize, because I am not ignorant, that that doesn't mean there are none but nobody knows definitively.

I also knows that prehistoric evidence shows people BF for 2-3 years, Romans 2 years and Medievel times 3+ years. I can walk down to Whole Foods in 2012 and buy locally grown, organic fruits and veggies and locally raised beef and chicken and and provide an excellent days worth of nutrition for my children. That doesn't make me less of a mom because I don't have my kids nurse before meals.

I admire you. EBF, home births, etc. you are an excellent mother. I do not, however, believe I am ignorant or less of a mom because I get epidurals and do not EBF. In fact, I think I am a rock star for the morals and values I have and continue to instill in my children and some of us do not have an easy path to take with some of our kids.

I value your perspective but I beg to differ with the ignorant comment. I am a lot of things but that is not one of them.

[BeadinMom]

Why yes, I AM MOM ENOUGH « The: NewYorkMOM (http://thenewyorkmom.com/2012/05/10/why-yes-i-am-mom-enough/)

[Flava]

Ok so Im not enough of a mom because I have to supplement with formula too because I just don't have enough BM?
Even this way Im lucky to BF up to 10-12 months max!
So Im a less mom huh?
I say BS!
And yes that picture is not nice at all and no I would never think to BF up to 4 -5 or more years.
Im sorry but I think BF is for baby's and a 4 year old is not a baby for sure. He can eat lot's of healthy food .Or maybe drink that milk from a cup?
But if someone do it well ok , but why we have to put in on the magazine? I wonder how much she got paid for that pic...
I never buy this magazine so they did not sell it for me with that pic lol.

[begonia]

OK LOL about keeping the boobs because I for one am looking forward to swimsuit season this year, thanks to DD3 :bigsmile:

[nuthinbutpink]

OK LOL about keeping the boobs because I for one am looking forward to swimsuit season this year, thanks to DD3 :bigsmile:

I know! I seriously considered taking a picture of my natural BF boobs so if I ever got my breasts done I could show the surgeon what I wanted! I'm glad you got the joke.

Now, my inner tag line for that picture is "bellying up to the bar". Do you think she considered her son at all when she posed for that?

[atomic sagebrush]

I BF my 3rd son at bedtime until well after 3. I didn't set out with that intention in mind and it was not to prove my superiority to anyone at all. He wouldn't drink milk (still won't) and is a very fussy and particular eater and it did make me feel better to know that he was at least getting breastmilk once a day while his brain was still growing superfast. Plus, he has a really difficult personality and it seriously was the only way he could calm down enough to sleep and for the benefit of our entire family, we needed him to go to sleep before 1 am. Say what you want about parenting skillzz but I feel I do have 'em at this point, and he was just BORN a tough kid who needed that extra level of care for a bit longer.

I know that's shocking and offensive to people but you never know until you're in the situation with a child who really seems to NEED to keep BF for longer either for health or for personality or for both, it's hard to say what you'll do. I really think if I hadn't kept nursing him, DH and I would prob. be divorced and I'd be in the insane asylum LOL.

My stepmom BF my sister (who was also a very picky eater and has food allergies) until she was 5.

I'm sure there are people who think some kids are picky eaters BECAUSE they're breastfed and I've had 3 other breastfed babies who were great eaters so I know that just isn't true. :)

[BeadinMom]

The only problem I have is with the title of the article.
Every mom is different...every child is different...there is no right or wrong way, as far as I'm concerned. I think it is awful that a magazine would attempt to pit moms against each other.
I promise not to judge other moms...I just hope they don't judge me!

[atomic sagebrush]

I agree totally, I mean we're all totally friends here and now people are getting upset. Curse you Time Magazine LOL.

Seriously - being a bad mom means leaving your kid locked in a hot car or living in a meth house - whether you choose to BF or not, organic foods or not, cosleep or CIO - those are all things that great moms worry about. We're all on the same team and want the best for our kids no matter how we go about that! :heart:

[BeadinMom]

Amen to that!!!

[atomic sagebrush]

My mom just messaged me this and I thought it was cute and germane to the thread!!

Students in an advanced Biology class were taking their mid-term exam.
The last question was, 'Name seven advantages of Mother's Milk', worth 70 points or none at all.


One student, in particular, was hard put to think of seven advantages. He wrote:

1) It is perfect formula for the child.
2) It provides immunity against several diseases.
3) It is always the right temperature.
4) It is inexpensive.
5) It bonds the child to mother, and vice versa.
6) It is always available as needed.

And then the student was stuck. Finally, in desperation, just before the bell rang indicating the end of the test, he wrote:

7) It comes in two attractive containers... and the cat can't get it.

He got an A.

[Flava]

I really don't care who do BF and who don't. I think all of us have a problem with the title only not the BF part.

[Orchid]

I agree the title is disturbing. I think what is normal and not normal is based on what you are used to. My mom BF us kids for 3-4 years old so I don't feel yuck about the cover picture. My co-workers use to roll their eyes when they saw pumped breast milk in my hand after my son turned one. For them one was too old. It is really a personal choice. To each their own.

[Ribbons]

I agree totally, I mean we're all totally friends here and now people are getting upset. Curse you Time Magazine LOL.

Seriously - being a bad mom means leaving your kid locked in a hot car or living in a meth house - whether you choose to BF or not, organic foods or not, cosleep or CIO - those are all things that great moms worry about. We're all on the same team and want the best for our kids no matter how we go about that! :heart:

I've noticed this too in my FB circles - I have both "crunchy" and "noncrunchy" moms as dear friends and they are all bickering about this. I've tried to stay out of it as best I can, because I fall somewhere in the middle and I certainly don't take sides on either approach - I think what works best for you and your child is perfect. What works for one family may not work for another. I am EBF my almost 3-year-old and I have gone through periods of great joy (and occasionally, periods of regret - mainly when I am starving for a night away, which I have never had since his birth!) for that decision. Some kids naturally wean younger, some older - it really depends on the child's needs (and the mother's needs are also important, too, which I think a lot of attachment moms struggle with!)

I find the cover of the magazine highly offensive because it is OBVIOUS that they are trying to stir up controversy. I mean, first of all, the way that the child is portrayed makes him look much older than the late 3's he actually is. He also looks like he is being forced into that position, almost pulling away. I am sure that his relationship with his mother, in private, is NOTHING like that, or he would have weaned already! Why not a loving, natural breastfeeding position? And the woman is made out to have a look of "power" on her face, as if she is being smug. I highly doubt that she knew how the article, and picture, were going to be portrayed because I doubt she would have done it. I really wish they would have done a neutral article about the debate, rather than causing all this mess. urgh.

We are all mothers and we are all superheroes- EBF/formula, cloth diapers/disposables, organic/non-organic, it doesn't matter! We love our children just as deeply. (I raised my first child pretty much the opposite of attachment and I certainly don't love him any less.)

[nuthinbutpink]

I do not find the act offensive. That's a strong word. I was offended by the word ignorant just so everyone is clear.

[OnlyPraying]

oh this cover is offensive alright!.....offensive to two of the major religions in the world that forbid breastfeeding after 2yrs....

[DoulaMama]

I'm sorry NBP. When I read your post last night, I have to say I was fuming. I too am sorry that you get that vibe from me. I do not feel that way about you at all. I just really dislike what you posted about extended nursing mom's. I didn't feel you were joking at all. Maybe saying that you were joking would have been a good idea.

I myself was a 100% formula fed child. I like to think I'm healthy and have a good head on my shoulders. I would love to see more women nurse their babies but honestly, I really don't think about it that often or really even care to be honest. I nurse my own kids because I feel it's best for them. I have nursed up til 2 with each of my boys and most likely beyond 2 if I had not gotten pregnant. With my last I can see myself nursing beyond 2 for sure....most likely to the 3's.
What I have an issue with is this:


I think it is silly and gross at this point. No four year old should be nursing still. Can you imagine how he will be made fun of when he is a teen?

Seriously, at some point, you have to let them go and there is clearly no nutritional value anymore so who really benefits from this kind of extended feeding. I bet she wanted to keep the boobs.

It's not a baby. He's not even a toddler. At what age is it inappropriate? 9,10? Teenage years? Babies and toddlers are one thing but when there is no benefit to the child anymore, I believe it is more the mom getting off on having the child still need her like an infant does.

How many moms do you know personally that nurse until 3yo? I know about 15. Nursing a preschooler isn't for the feint of heart. Most mom's do feel very done at that point but it isn't the mom that keeps pushing the nursing...it's the child. You can't FORCE a child to the breast....The child wants to be there. Child led weaning is exactly that- child led. The child obviously feels the need to nurse still and the mother respects his need. There is nothing gross about nursing the child you love. It isn't about "keeping your boobs". And breastmilk doesn't just turn to water at a year old so there are nutritive values. When I say ignorant comments, I mean that what you are saying is uneducated comments on extended nursing. There are some women on here that are nursing preschoolers or that plan on it, and shaming them isn't very nice, IMO.

I really dislike the picture and the title on this mag. No one nurses their child like that. The title is offensive to ALL mothers. Why can't we just let mom's do what they feel is best for their kids without making fun of them?

[Ribbons]

Most mom's do feel very done at that point but it isn't the mom that keeps pushing the nursing...it's the child. You can't FORCE a child to the breast....The child wants to be there. Child led weaning is exactly that- child led. The child obviously feels the need to nurse still and the mother respects his need.

Amen sister. I don't know how I'm going to get through this pg... I've had friends that have done the tandem thing and have survived, so I am pressing on, but already I want my boobs back :)

[Hobbermittens]

You know, I wonder if there would be any comment at all to an almost 4 year old still using a bottle? Probably not. Our society is still pretty backwards when it comes to breastfeeding.

[Ribbons]

I just ran across this article about the cover. TBH, I just skimmed the article, so not making any comment on its content; just posting it because of the additional pics provided - there is another one (of a mother gently tandem-nursing) that would have been SO much better, if the intent of the article was to be neutral and not controversy-inspiring.

Jamie Lynne Grumet, Breastfeeding Mom On 'TIME Magazine' Cover, Illustrates Attachment Parenting (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/05/10/jamie-lynne-grumet-breastfeeding-time-magazine-cover_n_1506096.html)

[Zivic-Bubac]

oh this cover is offensive alright!.....offensive to two of the major religions in the world that forbid breastfeeding after 2yrs....
I didn't know that. I guess Christian religion is not against it?
My sister was BFing her son until he was 2.5 years, I was telling her she had to stop with it bcos it was pure torture for her ( he was asking to be BF in public or during the night) and it WASN'T necessary for him.

I weaned my daughters when they were 11 mo and 12 mo. I think DD2 would BF longer if I allowed, but for me it was important it was me who weaned them, not the other way around.
I'm planning to BF this baby for a year as well.

I've noticed that moms who have boys tend to BF them longer, at least it is the case with moms I personally know ( except for our baby sitter, she nursed her boy for 2 DAYS and then she switched to formula bcos that way she can get a good night sleep when is DH's shift to feed him)

( BTW I'm not sure what 'crunchy' means :oops: something all together natural and organic I guess?)

I'm always trying to do what's best for my children and I believe all moms do. I believe the WHO recommendation was BFing for a year, but maybe my info is not accurate which wouldn't be a surprise :wink:

[Ribbons]

I'm always trying to do what's best for my children and I believe all moms do. I believe the WHO recommendation was BFing for a year, but maybe my info is not accurate which wouldn't be a surprise :wink:

WHO's recommendation is (up to) two years or longer:

"Breastfeeding is the normal way of providing young infants with the nutrients they need for healthy growth and development. Virtually all mothers can breastfeed, provided they have accurate information, and the support of their family, the health care system and society at large.... Exclusive breastfeeding is recommended up to 6 months of age, with continued breastfeeding along with appropriate complementary foods up to two years of age or beyond."

WHO | Breastfeeding (http://www.who.int/topics/breastfeeding/en/)

No, the Christian religion is not against breastfeeding past two years (most of the EBF mothers I know are Christian, actually). I cannot speak for any other religion so not sure which ones are implied there.

And yes, "crunchy" means natural/organic-type mamas :)

[jils04]

I just don't like it when mums are made to feel lesser bcos they couldn't bf. I was a bottle fed baby, mum didn't have milk that was enough for me so was she supposed to let me starve ? I have a great constitution , hardly ever get ill and have a uni degree so I guess it was ok for me.
I personally love bf, its easy, quicker, good for bub but some ladies can't for all sorts of reasons. My sis is very very fair and very sensitive,she used to bleed profusely, even pumping pink milk in the bottle. Its not worth that much pain and suffering.
The ad was wrong cos its about womens choice and that took us back 30yrs !!

[Yuzu]

Yeah, I have to admit I hate telling people that I bottle feed. It embarrasses me when I have to explain (over and over) that I can't breastfeed. You'd be surprised at the number of moms who treat you like...crap...because you don't breastfeed. I had a former friend tell me, "Well, you could if you really wanted to."

Moms should support each other.

[atomic sagebrush]

You know, I wonder if there would be any comment at all to an almost 4 year old still using a bottle? Probably not. Our society is still pretty backwards when it comes to breastfeeding.

I think there can be tho - right?? I've seen people make remarks about a kid being too old for a bottle/binky/sippy cup too. People always have SOMETHING to say, whether it's about your kids' gender, what they're wearing, eating, drinking, doing, watching, and so on.

Life is short, to each their own!!! :hug2:

[auroara78]

Yeah, I have to admit I hate telling people that I bottle feed. It embarrasses me when I have to explain (over and over) that I can't breastfeed. You'd be surprised at the number of moms who treat you like...crap...because you don't breastfeed. I had a former friend tell me, "Well, you could if you really wanted to."

Moms should support each other.

Yep couldn't agree more. I can't BF (and i've tried both times) because of a right breast issue and I'm starting already to have pangs of wishing I could when this new babe is born, but I probably won't try because the issue is the same and would be the same result again. I really do hate when instead of being supportive, other moms say "well if you really wanted to, you *could*"

Actually, no, I physically can't, and unless you're my doctor, bug off!

The thing that disturbs most about this is the headline...it makes my blood boil, and i agree it takes us back!! Also the photo was designed to be very controverisal and it works as it upset me to the fact that they are trying to portray that child as older than he is! When I first saw it, I thought the boy was 6-7 years old! And the pose is not loving and motherly, the mother looks very defiant...I don't like the suggestion that she is somehow better than me or other moms because she is BF'ing that long!

I am totally 100% for BF'ing, for the record.

[ChasingButterflies]

I haven't even read the article, probably should, but the cover is doing exactly what it was intended to do. Gain attention from shocking people. Job well done Time, you've certainly done that! I don't think someones breastfeeding relationship (or lack there for for that matter) is anyone's business but their own, I personally am not comfortable nursing a baby beyond the 2 year mark but that doesn't mean I should force my own comfort levels with nursing onto someone else. I know of several kids who nursed till they were 3, 4, and 5. They aren't teased at all now that they are in their teens - it's not even a topic that comes up.

I also agree with those who are upset by how they've been treated, or seen others treated because they choose not to breastfeed. Being a Mama is hard enough, we are great on our own with the mama guilt for things we wish we'd done, or hadn't done as we raise our littles - we don't need others doing it for us! I wish the "mommy wars" would just stop, we really do need to learn to support & love each other better.