UK SMOG Wannabes May

[nuthinbutpink]

May thread!

[deaks66]

Thanks NBT, I guess we had got a bit lazy about starting a new thread!

[nuthinbutpink]

No problem. They get pretty big so better on the site if we begin anew!

[charlieispy]

Hey ladies so sorry i have been AWOL as ever been poorly and in and out of hospital due to the baby not moving as much and possible leaking waters. YAY to cut it short baby is fine still waiting for a results on the swab they took but scan showed lots of aminotic fluid and a BIG baby big as in 95%tile plus its head is off the scale :( so am having to go for the diabetes test tuesday morning. Am now worried I wont be allowed my homebirth and face induction - although whatever is best for baby x also had my dads wedding to contend with - what a week x

Hope you are all ok x have been terrible about keeping up on posts as barely used the laptop other than to order some food!! Miss you all promise next week i will be better well unless they keep me in again x x

[charlieispy]

BTW the ticker says size of a squash my beast is probably the watermelon already :O

[zanacal]

Charlie - sorry you're going through so much, I hope the test on Tuesday is negative. We had a 4D scan with DS2 and his head was massive! I had to keep getting it checked after he was born as it was so out of proportion but there was nothing wrong - he just has a huge head bless him :D I thought you looked amazing in the photos you posted on FB of you at the wedding. The baby may be big but you're not!

Sunset - I posted a long reply to you on my phone yesterday and then lost it all, so frustrating! I think you were asking how long my other labours were. All my babies were back to back so none of them were particularly short labours (and far longer than the officially recorded times to me!). They were recorded as 16 hours, 8 hours and 4 hours so I keep being told to expect 2 hours this time but I would be amazed if that were the case! I went in to labour spontaneously with all of them at 40+2, 40+3 and 39+6!

I'm pretty sure the baby has had hiccups low down a couple of times which is a good sign that she's head down. I'm still really stuggling to stay awake during the day! This morning I was up at 6 because my tummy was rumbling but I was back in bed by 8 for a couple of hours. Then I had to take DS2 to a party so have been stood around there for 2.5 hours and I think I'll need another nap this afternoon. It's ridiculous, the house is so untidy and I really want the get up and go to sort it out but I just don't have any!!

[deaks66]

Hi all,
Charlie, sorry you have been in and out of hospital, must have been a real worry for you. Hope the test on tues goes well and he's just a lovely big bubs with a lovely big brain :) Oh and i agree with zanacal, you look amazing in your red dress in the wedding photo i saw.

Zanacal, sorry the last few weeks so tiring for you. Wont be long now and i cant wait to hear your news. I keep thinking that hopefully one day i will be in your shoes... 3 beautiful boys and a girly on the way.

Hi everyone else. Finally feeling the baby move today (not that 17 weeks is that late but im impatient!) and not just little feelings, quite big ones! How on earth haven't i felt anything before? growth spurt?! Haven't had my 20week scan date through yet but hopefully it will be in a couple of weeks... im 18 weeks on tues.

Bunk beds arriving tomorrow and then just need to find someone to babysit ds2 so i can get them in the car and down to the shot plasters/painters. Cant wait to see them!

Hope you have all had lovely weekend, we have. Trips out, gardening and lots of playing in the sunshine :)

[maybebabythree]

Ekk Charlie! Fx your waters are intact and bubs is ok. I hope you don't have diabeties. Dave is a massive baby, size if a toddler now!

Been down Bognor for the weekend - not very glam but it was lovely - yay for the sun! save seems not well. Sleeps all day, having less milk and pucking! Hoping it's just being out of the house all weekend :-(

Sunset still on labetalol but down from 600 mg to 200mg. See the doctor again this week. X

[deaks66]

Its so quiet on smog these days :( Hope you are all well!

Maybe, sorry little Dave not quite himself and like you say just being out of routine and away from home.

[Babymad]

Hi girls...

Didn't realise there was a Maythread...lol!

Petal ~ can't believe your little man is 6 mths! Hope all is well.

Sunset ~ Hope you are all ok :)

TLM ~ hi :)

Indigo ~ lots of hugs, hope you are ok x

Charlie ~ lots of hugs Hun, hope all goes well with your tests. Did you this with any of the others? I too thought you looked lovely at the wedding :)

Deaks ~ wow 18 weeks! Will you be confirming the sex at your 20 wk scan? You might be pleasantly surprised :)

Maybe ~ love your pic of Dave smiling :)

Z~ hope all goes well at your scan :) how lovely that you've gone into natural labour with all 3, very envious!

Sorry if I've missed anyone.....hope everyone is ok x

I had a presentation scan today as baby has been lying across/ breech. Luckily scan showed baby head down so hoping he stays that way! Like you Zanacal I go by where the hiccups are and only a couple of hours before the scan baby had hiccups and they were head up so amazing how they can turn so quickly!

Sooooo tired and my ankles and hands are very swollen......to think I could have another 4 weeks is so stressful! :(

[pinga]

Oh dear Charlie - fx you don't have diabetes! It might just mean it'll come early!?? Everyone has the diabetes test here at about 26 weeks. I hate that sickly sweet drink!! And its boring being stuck at the hospital for a few hours. I hate needles but it is ok.
This is what my stupid nurse managed to do... 2632
It is a routine test in Australia? Doesn't everyone get tested for gestational diabetes in the UK? Everyone also has to have the GBS test at 36 weeks.

Wow babymad - can't believe you're 38 weeks already!!! I'm so over this bit... I'm tired, sore and I have flipped out at the boys more times than I should :( Feel bad for them. I think they get bored because I just don't have the energy to do anything. Hope your bubba stays head down!!!

Anyways better try and entertain my little chappies...

[Babymad]

Oh Pinga, that looks sore - horrible when they do that!! Hugs.
i am like you, don't have any energy to do anything, everyday tasks are about killing me off now especially with all the sleep deprivation. I do get a few hours sleep on the nights when I take my sleeping tablets but i still wake up bang on 1am when it has worn off. i feel dreadful most days and look even worse!!

Are you babies on time, early or late - not long for you either :)

[pinga]

my babies have come at 35weeks+3 (DS1) and 38weeks(DS2)! So I'm quite happy with a repeat of DS2... although knowing me I'll probably go even longer :) 35+3 was a bit too early - my little stick insect was fine... with me the whole time but was only 2.4kilos/5pounds3 and very sleepy.

Babymad - When do you think yours will arrive?

Survived today... and even managed to make shepherds pie with 2 overtired whingy children clinging to my legs (before DH got home). Oh and I have fished out Percy's old baby clothes and started washing! Feels strangely real when you start doing that!!!

[zanacal]

Owch, that looks sore Pinga! Possibly not long for you either then based on when your first babies arrived :D

Babymad - so glad your presentation scan went well. I guess we have baggy wombs by the time we're having our fourth babies so they have room for acrobatics in there! I don't know what mine was doing in the night, felt like the baby was trying to burrow out or something! I feel for you with the sleep deprevation, I don't know how you handle it night after night. I had a terrible night last night and led there awake from around half 12. I definitely heard the birds wake up but I was of course out like a light when my 6.30 alarm went off! I went back to bed for a couple of hours after the school run so I feel vaguely human now at least.

[deaks66]

Love that zanacal... baggy wombs! hee hee!

Babymad, so sorry you are still having sleep problems, what a nightmare. Im trying to rack my brain to think of things which help me when i have bouts of insomnia and all i can come up with is that when my brain was on overdrive before my wedding and before ds1 was born i downloaded some audio cds onto my ipod and listened to those with earphones. I never did get to the end of the stories... really infuriating!! But i guess this might not help as you are uncomfortable too. Just a thought though.

Pinga, what horrid bruises! The nurse cant have been very experienced surely?! I experienced similar but in both arms when i was induced with ds1. By the time he arrived and i was in recovery the following morning, my arms were both so bruised i couldn't lift him for a couple of days :(

Im really hoping your babies don't keep you ladies waiting too long.. exciting to think there will be 3 new smog babies here soon!

Just wanted to add, having stumbled across a thread on here/IG where people are sniping at each other and mis-reading each others posts, how extremely lucky i feel to be part of smog. What a lovely, sensitive, caring bunch you all are X

[deaks66]

oh and babymad, i still don't have my 20 week scan date through so not sure when it is going to be. The hospital near here wont tell you gender so i wont be getting a confirmation until birth. But im pretty sure there is no way that the turtle i saw at 13-14 weeks would disappear... the tech even said baby is proud!! ha ha

[charlieispy]

Thanks ladies x well got through the test wont get the results for a few days and they only ring if you have diabetes x

Pinga your poor arm - my hand was like that last week after numerous blood tests hope its not too sore :S we dont get routine diabetes tests of GBS either first time i have had it done not nice! Sounds like your babies come early ish so FX not too much longer for you x x

Babymad - huge hugs for not sleeping and being truelly fed up - FX bump makes an appearance ASAP so glad baby is head down hope they stay that way for you!

z - fx not much longer for you either x



Deaks - how are you feeling hope bump is behaving x I knew from 13wks it was likely i was having a boy as i saw a willy but hoped it was wrong!

ahhhhh trying to type with ds3 running around

I must admit i have NO trouble sleeping but i am sleeping too much if i dont nap i cant cope - they dont know whether its baby or depression or both anti d definitely helped with my snappy-ness x still so anxious over announcing the sex though and GD rearing its head again x nothing i can do now! Just wish DH would get 'done' then there is no temptation anymore x better go as boys are trashing the living room lil shites hugs to all x

[maybebabythree]

Deaks I haven't been on ig for a while. Baby c birth club is so bitchy too. Good forbid you want to talk about anything as everything turns into a cat fight. Seems like there is one boss on the board, with a bunch of fans who agree with what ever they say no matter how stupid. It's nice we are not like that, totally agree. We can all say what ever and it's respected. X

[maybebabythree]

Here's a question for you all. Do you have a song for your babies? Something from when you was pg or when they was born? Ds 1 was avail lavigne I'm with you as it came out when I found out I was pg with him. The lyrics sum up how I felt as I planned him but was Pettrifed of being a parent. Ds2 was I knew I loved you before I met you by savage garden as I tried a long time for him. Not sure about dave really but I'm loving the muppets rainbow connection as it's on the sainsburys advert right now and I saw the muppet movie for the first time a few weeks back. I love gushy songs. Not sure now what the family song is - welcome to the jungle by guns and roses lol! With the boys as the animals!

[deaks66]

Ar thats so sweet that you have a song for each of your babies! I have a song that reminds me of dh and i getting together when we were in our late teens and of our wedding (as it was played to us by our band) and thats say what you want by texas. But nothing especially reminds me of having each of my babies.... though the grand old duke of york def brings back memories of ds1 as i sang it to him a million times to get him to feed when he had bad reflux... ha ha does that count?!

[Babymad]

Pinga ~ wow your babies are very good at arriving:) I would love an early baby so much! Mine are late and I was induced with my DS2 and 3 as I went two weeks over! So I don't think anything will be different this time :( gutted I won't experience a home birth either! Pleased you had a productive day, I miss my evenings, that's when I would potter around doing my stuff but by the time I get the kids in bed I am so tired and feel so crap I have a shower and get into bed and watch tv. I'm so behind on my 'projects'. We have gutted the bathroom so I can't even have a bath! My poor ankles are begging to be weight free :)

Deaks ~ thanks for the ideas Hun, I've had sleep probs all the way through this pg and I haven't really found anything that's helped apart from taking pills every other night - and now the back ache and heart burn have kicked in as well it's no fun. my body really has had enough this time round!!
Aren't you curious to know 100% what your little bean is? will you be having a 4D scan?

Charlie ~ pleased your feeling abit better with the anti d's. Sorry you're not ding well with the GD. Loads hugs. Everyone on the school run keeps asking me when my baby is due as I'm massive!.... Even people I have never spoken to before and then they ask do I know what I'm having......I do say boy as I'm fed up with the girl comments but no one says anything nice when I say boy.....a great conversation stopper!!!! So I have struggled with all that over the last few weeks, I get so angry and upset all at once...just wish they would all piss off!!!! Sorry that's not much help really is it! Always here if you need to vent xx

Maybe ~ yes this is a lovely group. Don't understand why people would join forums if they can't accept everyone has their own opinion!

[indigoviolet]

ladies- sorry not been around much, napping when I can in the day and early nights, the only way I'm surviving!
Think about you all and sending much love :HH:
DH is going to be away for a while so I'll be on here a lot more!

[Babymad]

Zanacal ~ love baggy wombs! :) mine must be as this baby changes position every few minutes :) Keep getting stressed that's he's head up again!! I don't cope well with the sleep deprivation to be honest- really struggled with it and feel like I am going to collapse on the school run, but I keep a brave face on carry on! You must be so excited to be meeting your DD soon :) I was at soft play today and a friend had her 10 mth old baby girl.....just adorable.

[deaks66]

Babymad, noone says anything especially nice about my boy number 3 either... it makes me feel so sad too. But on the upside it has definitely bought out a protective side of me towards him :) and no im not curious to be told 100% as i just know deep down its a boy and if i were to have a gender scan i worry i would feel the gd all over again when im dealing ok with it as it is. Im desperately hoping your little man arrives sooner than later so we can all swoon over those good looks you and your dh produce!

[maybebabythree]

Oh the hurtburn keeping you up - remember that all too well :-(

[Babymad]

Lol deaks, thats very kind :)
I take my hat off to you :) I knew this was a boy too but I personally needed confirmation. Its a very personal decision so pleased you are doing whats best for you x
Peoples reactions are so hurtful, I do feel like shouting it might not be a girl but its still my baby!
Xx

[Babymad]

Here's a question for you all. Do you have a song for your babies? Something from when you was pg or when they was born? Ds 1 was avail lavigne I'm with you as it came out when I found out I was pg with him. The lyrics sum up how I felt as I planned him but was Pettrifed of being a parent. Ds2 was I knew I loved you before I met you by savage garden as I tried a long time for him. Not sure about dave really but I'm loving the muppets rainbow connection as it's on the sainsburys advert right now and I saw the muppet movie for the first time a few weeks back. I love gushy songs. Not sure now what the family song is - welcome to the jungle by guns and roses lol! With the boys as the animals!

Well with DS1 I was mega organised (I'm a bit anal at times with organisation :)) and had my birth plan typed up in detail! :) I had him in hospital, one week late so luckily in the home from home room. It was two weeks before Xmas and I had just been to see Love Actually at the cinema so that album has lovely memories now.
I remember desperately wanting a water birth and DH handed over my birth plan as soon as we arrived (bless him).
I could hardly walk at this point as the contractions were every two minutes! The MW told Steve I wouldn't be having a water birth as she just took one look at me and saw that I was in established labour :)
I had the most amazing MW deliver DS1 and he was born to Rod Stewart (who is my absolute favourite and took all his CD's along with me!) I have wonderful memories of his birth and so does DH as he was helping out as the auxiliary had rang in sick (obviously at a Xmas party :) ). DH helped deliver DS1 and I gave birth on all fours :) I wrote to the MW afterwards as she was truly amazing and said how fantastic I had laboured for a first time mum - she took the time to write back too and I still have the letter in DS1's keepsake box :)

DS1 is now 8 and I've shown him who Rod is and I tell him that he was born to his music....makes him laugh :)

I really enjoyed thinking of all those lovely memories Maybe - thanks :) xx

[auroara78]

Maybe,

"All of my Love" by Led Zep & "You're my best friend" by Queen are songs that remind me of DH & I when we first started dating/our first years together. "Baby, I'm amazed" by Wings always makes me cry when I'm pregnant, because it's so romantic and Sir Paul seemed to love his 1st wife Linda so much....it's so heartfelt, I feel.

When I was pg with DS1, I wasn't really listening to music a whole lot, just the soft music that came on the intercom at the job I had. The only I remember coming on a lot that I kind of grew on me was "Cherish Our Love" (I don't know who sings it.) Once he was born though, his favorite song that I sung to him was the kids song "I-2, I Love You"

When I was pg with DS2 and once I found out he was a boy, I was really into listening to Jon Bon Jovi's "Young Guns II" soundtrack and for so reason was really into the song "blood brothers" and it made me think a lot about the relationship between DS1 and 2, if they'd be close, (which I hoped), how they would play together. Then during my scheduled C-section, he was delievered to while the OR was playing Bon Jovi's "Living on a Prayer." Being that I heard Bon Jovi/Jon Bon Jovi all his pg and then heard it in the OR was kind of funny.

This preg. I've been listening to mostly classic rock stations and the song "Dream On" by Aerosmith makes me tear up, because of what it says, and the way I've been dreaming of having a girl for so many years and it's actaully happening, the song just gets to me (in a good way.)

[Sunset]

okay i feel really stupid now but i honestly did not know there was a may thread because no one had put any reference to this new thread in the old thread so thank you deaks, without your suggesting people come here i would still be refreshing the page on the april thread and wondering why the heck no one has written anything in days :rofl: I'm off now to put a link for the may thread on our old thread just so no one does the same mistake i've done.

I've had loads to catch up on now that I realised there was a may thread up. :)

Maybebaby ~ fx you can come off the bp medicine completely soon!

Zanacal ~ i'll keep my fx you get to have a 2 hour labour ;)

Babymad ~ have you got a bump pic? :D

Charlie ~ happy to hear the medicine is helping a bit.. i know what it's like to be tired in pregnancy though.. i dont suffer depression but i struggled to stay awake in my last pregnancy and had to have a short nap everyday which is not easy when you have kids to look after lol

Deaks ~ yay for feeling kicks! it's such a special feeling :D have you got a little bump now?

indigo ~ hope you're ok

Pinga ~ that bruise is pretty nasty looking! i don't know about the glucose test.. i've used 2 different hospitals in my pregnancies and they both did things differently but the whole 2 hour test is not routine, but is something you get sent for if there is reason to believe you might be diabetic.

AFM ~ i need to drop all my prejudices i've learned recently! ds1 is doing brilliantly at his new nursery and is much, much happier than i've ever seen him at his old nursery and even though his new school is in a "worse" area it just seems so much better run. I feel more informed, ds1 is happier -i haven't once had him tell me that someone's hit him which was a weekly/almost daily occurance at the old school. So yes, i'm all happy now and thinking i probably won't be looking to appeal anymore. ds1 has already made a friend at nursery and his birthday party is on sunday to which we've invited his new nursery friends :) i'm buzzing :)

[zanacal]

Sunset - glad DS is getting on well at nursery, it's great to be able to relax and know they're happy and in good hands.

Auroara - Cherish by Kool and the Gang?!

Babymad - that sounds like a fantastic birth, I hope the next one is as wonderful!

AFM, baby is head down so we're all systems go. My scan took 10 minutes and then I had to wait over an hour for another lady to confirm that everything was ok - errr, I knew that because I saw it on the screen at my scan! It was really impossible for me to see what was what in there. I asked for a shot of between the legs but we couldn't see anything! I'm so paranoid about another back to back baby that I've been doing some 'balancing' exercises from the spinningbabies.com website each night and so far she's not back to back which is great for me! Her back is to the left also which means she's less likely to turn back to back in labour (more likely if the back is to the right!).

[maybebabythree]

Auroara dh loves aerosmith. We saw then the night before my a level maths exam - amazingly I failed it! I remember him asking for don't want to miss a thing at our wedding. Our song is love moves in misterious ways by god knows who. Mainly because when I met dh at 16 I thought he was a looked but far to loud and had to be the centre of attention and the comedian. We could not be more oppersite in every aspect. 22 years later and it still seems weird we are paired up.

Babymad love your birth story. I only ever hear the beep of heart monitors when I am in labour! I did have adeles make you feel my love and anni Lennox universal child on a almost content loop with some dance music thrown in. I was in cycle of feeling hyped up then crying!

I can't sing twinkle twinkle little star without crying as I sang it to ds1 when he was born. Feeling overwhelmed and missing my dad.

Sunset - dr said it looks like blood pressure tablets for life for me :-/ I have to keep going back every month but it's 79/139 so the top is too high :-/ weird as normally the bottom is too high.

Taking dave into work tomorrow. My team of five men and one women will love that! I can't see the blokes asking for cuddles! Might be a short visit!

Zanacal ds1 was back to back and it hurt lots but if she stays back to back just try to keep moving in labour until you find a position that works for you. I was so adamant I would not labour on my back with dave, but after a hour and a half I moved to my back as the midwife suggested and hey presto he moved down in a few pushes. But when your in established labour it's the last thing you want to do. Ds1 and 2 was both back on my side and those labours was great. Didn't seem to matter.

[HopeandDreamG]

Hey ladies! I haven't been over here in ages. I am sorry ;) some days I don't come on at all trying to have a very relaxed attitude this month. Hope everyone over here is doing well. I know Zanacal is having the baby anyday!

Ingelwood~ How are the twins!! Must be delightful. I am praying I get lucky enough to have twins. I'd be so thrilled.

In March I got a BFP and it was a chemical. I decided to skip April because I really knew I was pregnant and ate more, snacked more, and would have regretted trying in April after months and months of dieting. I learned a HUGE lesson to not mess with the diet in the 2WW. SO here we go May!

[zanacal]

maybe - all 3 of my boys were back to back so I have plenty of experience there lol! I've been expecting the same again (and I know I can handle it - I ony had gas an air with the last two and did fine but they were by no means easy labours!) but this baby isn't back to back at the moment, she's in the perfect position so far :D

HopeandDream - {hugs} and all the best for May x

[GeCon]

Hi ladies,

Haven't been on for a while as I have been busy with other things, but congrats to those of you who had their LO's or is expecting.

Things have changed for us at the moment, which means that we are not in a position to TTC at the moment for a while. :sad: I have some items that we will not require for now and we could do with the cash, so I thought I'd offer them on here in case anyone is interested.

I have:
3x Brandnew sealed Superdrug Pregnancy Tests Best Before 06/2013
1x Brandnew sealed Simply Supplements Acidophilus 180 Tablets
1x Brandnew sealed Clearblue Fertility Monitor Sticks (20 Sticks) Expiry 04/2013

PM me if anyone is interested.

[charlieispy]

I should really clear out my supplements etc too x so sorry you are no longer TTC Gecon FX you will in the future x

BUGGER my washing machine has packed in bloodly brilliant literally put the first load of baby stuff in the drum and it died.......well there goes my motivation to get my arse into gear so far the only thing i have brought or sorted is maternity pads.........7-10days wait for the part needed OMG i have 3 dirty boys and a husband!!!

~Hope everyone elses days are going better lol happy birthday to Noah babymad and Pinga do you have a birthday in your house too?? Sorry brain like a sieve x oh well off to not do any washing or sorting.........

[Inglewood]

Hi all, been hectic here since Dh went back to work. Girls feed every 3hrs, but take 1hr each to feed, so they get fed around 11pm/2am/5am.... and so on and dh starts work at 0630 for 8wks so I can't ask him to help overnight. I get up, feed 1, then the other then I get max 1hr sleep after eacg feed before it all start again. Starting to take it's toll on me already and it's only night 6 myself tonight, but only getting 3-4hrs broken sleep a night.. Think DD2 has colic too, so started infacol yest to see. I've been stupid and not been eating properly, so have been eating biscuits and rubbish (esp overnight, being up 2-3hrs at a time) and put on about 5/6lbs... silly me! Luckily start post-natal shape-up classes on tuesdays for 6wks to help my aching back and leftover SPD pain!! lol Also have an internal infection :( so feeling a bit crap!

On the plus DD2 (being breech) had a hip scan today and 1 hip is perfect, the other 'immature' as they call it and will be re-scanned, but they are not concered as they say it was because she was breech and prem. They are now DD1 7lbs 4oz and DD2 7lbs 7oz and were 6wks old on tues!! going in so fast.

Maybe, got my tax credit letter today, predicted £186 a mth....OMG!! after getting nowt! Thanks for ur link!! :)

Many of you don't have long till babies are here and are in my thoughts each day and for those TTC and not, hope ur all well too! See someone else on here due fraternal twins (swayed girl) ....maybe it's the girl sway/diet??? lol I heard alot of dairy can do it??? not sure about that tho.

Better go feeding time again! xx

[zanacal]

Blimey Inglewood, no wonder you're knackered! There are a couple of ladies on here who swayed girl and are expecting twins but they were both on the LE diet so not consuming much dairy - I think they were both on Clomid though so that's perhaps the most likely explanation for them! I can't believe your girls are 6 weeks old already :D

[indigoviolet]

Inglewood- you are a hero keeping that up night after night, no wonder you are tired, hopefully they will start spacing their feeds out a bit more soon, especially at night. Hope your infection clears up too, hang in there hon.

Hello to everyone else, had a migraine type headache from finishing work yesterday to now so am pretty tired and off to bed soon. Dh away on a trip, I'm so jealous! I'd love a few days where I didn't have to think of anything else apart from myself! I bet we could all do with a bit of that.

Hope you are all having nice weekends, catch up tomorrow :HH:

[Sunset]

Hello hello, how's everyone?

Inglewood ~ wow, no wonder you are tired.. at least the sleepless nights won't last forever. I had my first "good night" last night since dd was born.. she only woke once for a feed which has never happened before. she's usually up twice during the night and comes into our bed about 4am, but last night she woke up for a feed at 3am and then slept in her moses basket until 6am. amazing!

maybebaby ~ oh no, let's hope that's not the case. seems you bloodpressure isn't too bad though?

zanacal ~ 39 weeks :D :D any day now :D

Inglewood ~ you have just entered the third trimester havent you? I can't remember when it starts.. is it 27 weeks? how does it feel to be on the home stretch? soon you'll get to hold your beautiful baby :)

charlieispy ~ oh no, what a bugger! fx the parts arrive sooner than expected. you are not alone though, my best friends washing machine broke last week as well so she's in the same boat as you :(

HopeandDream ~ sorry to hear about the chemical :( good luck this month!! when is your attempt? hows it going with the diet?

GeCon ~ i'm so sorry to hear you won't be ttc after all :( hope you pop in for an update and a chat from time to time though

wishing4pink ~ you havent posted in a while hun, thinking of you and hoping the diet is going ok!

babymad ~ hope you're ok!

littlemisswilko ~ how are you and bump doing. we'll have to arrange that meet up when the weather gets better

deaks ~ hope you're ok!

hello to everyone else! hope you're all ok! afm, busy as usual.. it's my ds1's birthday tomorrow so we're having a birthday party tomorrow morning. wish you all lived closer, would have invited you all :D what a big perfect "boy party" it would have been with all our wonderful boys :D

[Babymad]

Hi Girls.....

Hope everyone is ok x

Hope all the birthdays have gone well :)

I am soooo tired after DS2's bday celebrations......!! But we all had a great time. :)

Here is a bump pic from last week.....
Charlie - your bump is so tiny compared to mine.....you look great :)
I feel massive and everyday is getting harder!!!!

Hope all the babies are doing well and all the up and coming arrivals go well :)
Hope all the bump are growing nicely too - anyone got a scan soon??

GL to those ttc x

[Inglewood]

Babymad, wow! amazingly perfect bump... not long now.

Girls do def have colic, infacol no good, so got dentinox to try, fx it works, bless them :( The were weighed today and DD1 is now 8lbs and DD2 8lbs 2oz.

Hope everyone ok? xx

[deaks66]

Just a quickie as got a splitting headache that needs dealing with :(

Inglewood couldn't read and run as i am queen of colic/reflux info! Not sure what formula you are using but the Aptamil colic and constipation is amazing and if possible get yourself some reflux bottles which stop bubs taking in air....i use mam ones but you would need to buy bigger teats as well as the milk is thicker than normal. Another thing i use to settle mine when bubs is white noise. I have a cd of it i could copy and post to you if you like. Oh and of course dummies.... sucking helps colic. X

[Inglewood]

Deaks, will send a pm. xx

[indigoviolet]

Great looking bump Babymad! Glad the birthday went well.

Good luck with finding a solution to the colic inglewood, hope some of Deaks tips work for them.

Generally doing ok here, just tired but aren't we all?!

lots of love :HH:

[pinga]

Babymad - you're looking great!! Sometimes I can't believe we're so close to the end of these pregnancies!! I'm already past the point at which I had DS1... so thats good! Do you think you'll go in May or June?

Oh no Inglewood - 2 with colic! That does not sound like fun!

Ended up doing a days emergency teaching at DHs school yesterday and decided - NO more work for me!!! :D Just on my feet too much - was shattered by the end of the day!

Babymad - do you have a name for bubs seeing as you're so close. We STILL don't know... arghhhhhh....
Actually shouldn't Zanacal be practically having her bubs???

[Inglewood]

Hey ladies! I haven't been over here in ages. I am sorry ;) some days I don't come on at all trying to have a very relaxed attitude this month. Hope everyone over here is doing well. I know Zanacal is having the baby anyday!

Ingelwood~ How are the twins!! Must be delightful. I am praying I get lucky enough to have twins. I'd be so thrilled.

In March I got a BFP and it was a chemical. I decided to skip April because I really knew I was pregnant and ate more, snacked more, and would have regretted trying in April after months and months of dieting. I learned a HUGE lesson to not mess with the diet in the 2WW. SO here we go May!

Sorry to hear that news, wishing you a BFP for May!! Think many of us had months where we were a teeny bit less strict, know I had an odd treat, to keep me going in the 2WW, but can understand why u didn't try in april. xx

[Inglewood]

Finally got time to do a new ticker! x

[HopeandDreamG]

Thanks ingelwood. I can't imagine how tired you must be...Hope u find a formula they can tolerate soon!

Sunset- diet is going well I lost 27 pounds so far from the LE diet. 1st time in my life I was glad I had weight to loss. I'm down a whole lot more from before. I see people I haven't seen and they actually don't recognize me. It feels awesome.

Had a follie check today had 4 good size. I actually feel like may is my month :)

Babymad- you look sooooo great! Beautiful bump

[Sunset]

Babymad ~ wow you look GREAT! what an amazing bump! :) not long to go now

pinga ~ i cant believe you are 35 weeks already.. have you got everything packed and ready for bubs?

inglewood ~ aw bless, i hope it gets better soon. i've never had experience with colic so wont be off much help :(

hopeanddream ~ good luck, sounds very promising with 4 growing follicles :) :)

[auroara78]

inglewood, the only thing that helped my DS2 with his colic was switching to a hypoallergic formula for a while to get him settled, but that is very expensive...can not imagine the expense x2!!

sunset, i cant believe serena is already 4 months old! Is she doing anything interesting or cool yet...like trying to roll...I'm sure she smiles all the time....do you want a 4th or do you feel done with 3?

God willing, I want to have a 4th one day, but that will be 2-3 years down the road. My husband is gung-ho. I would probably sway again to see if I couldn't get a 2nd DD to give Lillian a sister, but I have a very firm feeling that if I did have a 4th, it will be my 3rd boy, and that's OK too. I really feel like my heart is set on 4 kids for some reason, and I can't talk myself out of it.

babymad, you look great and your bump is so cute and round!!

[Babymad]

Inglewood ~ Hope all the colic tips help - how have they been today?? How are you coping generally - have you got lots of help? Do you go out and about much?

Indigo ~ Love to see a bump pic :)

Pinga ~ I will defo go into June :( I really wish my babies came earlier!! My induction date is 11th...feels a lifetime away!
And still no name :( When DH and I do have 5 mins to think of any we either don't agree on the odd one we do find but generally we are REALLY struggling! I think it will be the first time I have had a baby and had no name :(

Hope ~ GL hun, FX for you :)

Thanks for all the kind comments about my bump - funny isn't it as I don't think I look good at all - just big, fat and old! :)

Loving the weather - even though my ankles wouldn't agree ;)

Had a few teary days - all I can keep thinking is how different everything would be if it was my DD I was waiting for..... :(

[maybebabythree]

Big hugs babymad. He will be here soon and you will feel much better.dave just melts my heart and your little chap will too. One day he will give you that big gummy smile and your older boys will be fussing over him and you will not be sad. Maybe that longing will never go completely but it will stop being the first and last thing you think of every day.

[Wishing4Pink]

I'm still about sunset, just not a lot of energy at the moment, lol. Diet is going well, lost 5lbs in the first week but nothing in the 2nd week?? Hopefully will lose a couple of lbs everyweek from now till attempt in june.

Your bump is gorgeous Babymad!

Hello to everyone else, will try to catch up later on

xx

[charlieispy]

gorgeous bump babymad.......you are 5 wks infront of me so am sure i will catch you up although measuring 37wks BIGGEST bump and baby yet......there i was hoping for a weenie one x FX your little bub arrives soon.

Loved your pics of nogs bday - he reminds me so much of my beck!

[charlieispy]

huge hugs for the hard days x x i am trying to get ready for baby but no motivation and no washing machine even if i did!! I think i have a name but not sure i REALLY like but not sure i care so much :S

[deaks66]

Hi ladies, had problem with my internet all day today :( also had a teary day... my friend finally had her dd (she is the one with 3 ds's). She totally deserves it of anyone but it is still hard...she was one of my few boy only mums... in fact that why i befriended her in the first place! Going to have to do the whole meet the baby, spend loads of time with the baby, listen to everyone coo over it being a girl... silly of me i know. Just hard. Anyway going to get on here when boys in bed and catch up on posts...dh is out all eve...could have done with him for a hug. X

[maybebabythree]

Deaks virtual hug from me (((hug))) xxx

[deaks66]

Right i got boys to bed (feel bad for being narky with them all day :(), had a few tears and now need to sort my head out. This constant thinking of what might have been keeps leaving me with a headache. Like you Indigo, the other day i also had what i can only describe as a migraine... couldn't even turn my head or roll over in bed...just hideous! I think the stress is getting to me.

Pinga/charlie/babymad, the name situation is hard isn't it. It feels like using sloppy seconds and i guess we're all searching for that name that we forgot all about or hadn't noticed before in the book.... but it doesn't matter how many times i flick through the pages, nothing jumps out! But i think i may finally be there with a name and dh seems ok with it though hasn't committed yet.

Hope&D, is your attempt tonight? i seem to remember a post of yours saying what cd it was on and me looking at your chart thinking i must remember it is a wednesday and wish you luck. If not, it must be very soon. GL! it is soooooo your turn!

Sunset, hi hun, sounds like your ds had a fab party. How is dd doing...still only waking once in the night i hope?!

Aurora, interesting you should say that about not being able to get 4 kids out of your head. I really only wanted/kinda still want three so im trying to get the idea of 4 kids INTO my head! Don't want to leave much of a gap as from day one i always wanted my kids to be a similar age but also cant imagine the stress of having 4 under 6 in my household! I guess knowing it would be pgd and therefore a dd (if i was successful of course) would make it easier to cope with.

Babymad, this has been such a tough pg hey? its horrid to constantly have that feeling...mine is from the moment i wake up to the moment i sleep and doesn't really disappear much in-between at the mo :( How are things with your dh? are you talking more even if not about bubs name?!

Wishing4pink, great news on the diet and GL for June...we will be cheering you on!

Charlie, like babymad, big hugs hun. Not long now.... and what a relief it will be i hope! Pregnancy is the worst bit about gd in many respects i think. What a long old slog which gets harder everyday.

Right feeling a bit brighter. Perhaps my problem all day has been that i couldn't get on here...its like my therapy!

[deaks66]

Thanks maybe, i needed that :) Your posts about dave are part of what keeps me going everyday... and i know once my little man is here, the pressure will be so much less. How are you feeling about all things gd? or are you managing to avoid thinking about it all for the time being at least?

[maybebabythree]

Deaks I have to say that as time passes and the pg hormones have worked there way out of me my gd gets better every week. Dave is pretty absorbing so what with his scrummyness, two other kids and the loveliness of really enjoying being a new mum (been there, done all the mistakes so this is so much more enjoyable ) I have little room for gd. I really don't think any one looks at me with pity - last week a old couple come up to us in a cafe (take them every week for the last four years) and said how lovely my boys are and how I was a good mum. I feel comPlete for the first time ever. I never thought I would. However hand me a dd on a plate and I would take her in a flash. Problem is like you four kids was never on my radar and I would need to move and Surrey is not a cheap place to get a four bed house. Plus it would have to be a dd to take all that extra risk but no gauranteed way to get that. 15 months ago I was so sure I never wanted another boy but honestly he was meant for us. Life is pretty damn great right now.

[HopeandDreamG]

Maybe- you sound sooo great. It's wonderful to hear what a great place you are in.

Auoara & deaks- I do want 4, dh is like no way. That's why I'm hoping for twins hahah. Then I would be done regardless of gender. I like the even #
Deaks attempts did start last night, then this am and tonight etc etc! Did trigger today yay! Will take an opk and see if it took and an hpt. On friday I go for bloods to check progesterone and LH levels.

Sunset- hi! How's that beautiful baby girl?

Wishing4pink- I'm down 27 pounds from LE way more from before but there where weeks scale didn't move then it did again, hang in there it will go :)

[Sunset]

Maybebaby ~ I love reading your posts! :) you really do seem to be in a great place! i am so happy for you! :)

Deaks ~ you make it sound like my dd is a good sleeper :rofl: she was for a while when she was first born but since then she has turned into the worst sleeper possible lol she's been better these last 2 nights and has only woke up once for a feed and slept the full night in her cot but usually she point blank refuses to sleep on her own :S i hope these last 2 nights have been a sign of better times ahead in the sleep department but i dont dare to hope just yet :p

HopeandDream ~ how exciting, fx for a +opk soon!

wishing4pink ~ glad to hear the diet is going ok! are you doing the le diet or ig? sorry, my memory isn't the best.

babymad ~ you definitely dont look fat and old! your bump is gorgeous!

charlieispy ~ i love the pics on fb of your ds3, he's always in to some cute mischief :P

zanacal ~ thinking of you!

inglewood ~ thinking of you too! hope the colic is getting better

[Kell]

Hi girls sorry I've been missing again all is fine I'm just swamped with college work, I finish in 3weeks :)

I was wondering if u guys would help me out with my research by filling in the questionnaire I've made
Attitudes towards male midwives Survey (http://www.surveymonkey.com/s/6ZFJDTM)

It's totally confidential, obviously there's no pressure at all :)

Hope babies bumps and mummy's are all doing well, I will be back very soon :)

[zanacal]

Thanks Sunset - still here, still pregnant :D I'm happy with this week (in fact the weekend would be better than today or tomorrow!) but may start getting fed up if baby hasn't arrived by next week!!

[maybepink3]

Hi all,
Sorry I haven't been on for ages, I do pop on occasionally to look at posts but wanted to give myself as much time as possible to come to terms with Baby Cuddle (as my eldest calls him) being a boy and I found it difficult with many of you still following your dream of a dd.
I'm now 36 weeks and just been given some horrendous news. I have cord presentation which basically means that there is cord below the head and next to the cervix. I only found this out on Wed at 36 week scan which was monitoring my low lying placenta. I had every hope that that had moved and I could have a natural birth. Instead they wanted to keep me in straight away and I just feel to pieces. I'm a full-time mum to the boys, dh works all hours and parents are 2 hours away. After much persuasion, crying and a chat with another more senior consultant (the 1st was a bloke I didn't understand and had absolutely NO bedside manner whatsoever), she agreed to let me go home and come back for another scan at 37 weeks. The risk however is that if I go in to labour and if my waters break, I need to raise my bum in the air immediately and not move from that position whilst an ambulance rushes me in for an emergency c-section.
Everything I'm most frightened of, being in hospital (for up to 2 weeks before section), the heat in there is awful and I just felt sick and dizzy the 24 hours I was in there with DS1. How is my dh going to cope with work and children? How are they going to be without me (who's around them 24-7). I'm just going to be getting so anxious in there leading up to the section. V frightened of being cut open. And if my waters do break whilst I'm in there there's no way dh will make it there in time for the section so I'll be on my own.
How on earth do I try and pursuade them for an elective earlier than 39 weeks which is hospital policy?
So mixed and messed up. Obviously fearful of anything happening to Cuddle but v frightened myself, couldn't sleep last night, hardly eaten today.
So much for a nice relaxed home birth. Just feel like everything has gone wrong with this pregnancy and questioning whether any of it was down to the methods we've all been using to get pg in the first place.
Sorry for my rant, just knew you'd all understand
xxx

[maybepink3]

Sorry should have said the risk of waters breaking is that the cord will come down, baby won't get enough air and result could be still born. Raising bum in the air tries to push cord back down and reverse gravity giving baby ability to breathe

[pinga]

Oh maybepink! You poor thing.... sounds like you're not having the best time of it. Can anyone come and stay with you (eg parent)? Might make you feel more confident. Hope the cord moves away from where it is....
Try not to stress too much... its nothing you did - its just one of those things.... sometimes it must feel like everything is against you though. <hugs>

Wow Zanacal - baby is still snug in there then!!! Ooooh it really should be soon!

Well - I'm on my weekly hospital appointments. Had to do my GBS test today! To me thats the sign that I'm at the end of the pregnancy. :) Feeling huge and tired though...

Sunset - awww don't talk about bad sleeping - I'm in denial about the part where newborns don't let you sleep through the night :D

Hope everyone else is going well...

[maybebabythree]

Oh maybe you poor thing! I can understand partly as I was in and out of hospital. I don't know if the cord can move but thank god they detected that. Some times these babies just can not behave and your plans go out the window. If the cord is there and stays there then don't feel bad - it's out of your hands. I am sure dh would rather miss work than risk you and cuddle getting I'll. Can't help with the c section side but birth hurts however they come. I think you would be and about within 24 hours. Try to get your mum to stay for a bit. Massive hugs xxx

[zanacal]

{hugs} maybepink3. I know I'd be worried too but at least you know about the issue and know what to do if you should go in to labour early. Have you ever been early before? You must feel so torn between being at home for DH and the boys and going to hospital. I'm sure if you don't have family who can come to stay then DH will just do whatever he needs to do if you do have to go in. I'll be thinking of you x

[Sunset]

Kell ~ Done! I feel like the most judgemental person in the world after having done your survery lol I am one of those women who would not be comfortable with a male midwife.

pinga ~ haha, we always seem to forget the sleepless nights don't we ;)

maybepink ~ how scary! good thing it was discovered though! i know the pain of staying in hospital so i can completely sympathise with you there. I too am a stay at home mum, my family lives in sweden and dh's family though 5 minutes away would not think to offer to take the kids or help out in any other way so my partner had no other choice than to take 2 weeks off work before dd was born to look after the boys while I was in hospital. It was torture.... the time d r a g s when you're in hospital so i'll keep my fx you can stay at home for as long as possible! I'm sure it didnt have anything to do with swaying, it's just one of them misfortunate things that happens :( but thank heavens it has been discovered so that they can do everything in their power to deliver your little one safetly into the world :)

zanacal ~ i really cant wait to hear the baby news and see pics of your baby girl :) you must be so excited now that the wait is nearly over :) besides, it's the perfect time of the year to have a baby :)

[maybebabythree]

Kell I did the survey. I really wouldn't a man rummaging in my foof when I was in labour. I think there have been times in labour when I have felt bordering assaulted by my a midwife. To have that done a man would be worse but maybe not if he was with a female midwife at all times. I have never had a man touch in labour / post birth but when ds1 was born there was a pead in the room waiting for him to be born. If I or baby was in distress I dint care who is there as long as they have a phd in medicine.

[maybebabythree]

Bad 24 hours for me. Went a a&e with a really bad burn yesterday and today the car caught fire with the kids in! I had to get them out and stand on a verge on a country lane!

Maybe just also wanted to say the cord has nothing to do with your sway. You have a perfect baby with a perfect cord which has unfortunatly got in the wrong place. All my boys was born with the cord round their neck

[threelittlemenandcounting]

Hello Ladies

Cant believe how far you ladies are in your pregnancies, really looking forward to seeing pics of your squishy new borns!!

Very busy here beein trying organise paperwork and house for extension, all being well we should be good to go by mid august and then the chaos begins!!

DD is also poorly again with tonsilitis she only had it last month and she has it again and I hate it she really worries me when her temp hits 40+

Inglewood how are the twins and their colic ?

Maybebaby so good to hear your happy posts !!

xxx

[zanacal]

I had the midwife today. She was going to offer to do a sweep but said she couldn't because the head isn't engaged. My blood pressure was slightly elevated but not worryingly so and I had some protein in my wee so she sent it off for testing. All in all, I just have to sit back and wait patiently! The weather is helping - it's too hot to be this fat but I do feel happier when the sun's shining and it's lovely to watch the boys playing in the garden together. DS2 really hopes the baby doesn't come until after tomorrow because he wants to fill the paddling pool up!

[Inglewood]

Hi all!

Z, wow 2 days over so any day now.... keep checking FB. All the best when the time comes!

Deaks, sorry u haven't been feeling so good :( hope u are having a better day and have a good wkend.

H&G, FX for those twins! I only ever thought I'd have 2 kids.....she says 4 kids later!! lol Can't say I knew what did it for me? Did the IG diet and supps.... rose quartz etc... u can read my sway on here...

Wishing, Fx for a BFP soon!

Maybepink, hope all goes well? I've had 3 sections, 1 emerg and 2 planned, hope they give u a planned one, alot better, but even if emerg, relax and enjoy meeting ur little baby. A section isn't too bad at all, but I don't have a vag birth to compare to. GL X

Sunset, hope she settles soon back into sleeping all night.

Maybe, how's ur little man doing?

AFM, thanks for asking after the twins and their colic probs!! It's hard going, not had a hot meal or in quiet for wks. Dh who is usually calm is a moaning prat! The final straw for him and he's sitting in a huff was the babies screaming thru our indian takeway tonight (as they did last wk) and I'm too exhausted toput up with his crap :( My mum helps alot but works 2days, so now dh can see what I have on my own alot of the time. The weather has been lovely and he's clearing the garden for a new shed, that hasn't helped his mood, so I bought him something for the car he wanted and he still is acting like a prat! Wish someone got me something I wanted like I do for him, I'd appear alot more grateful than him. He says he gave me the best gift ever, agreeing to have another baby, which is true, but he needs to realise it's not forever (colic) and I need him to be there for me now too. He does help with the girls, ALOT, but is just in a terrible mood alot of the time and it's making me feel teary. :(

Haven't been on here for ages because of the stress at home, but thanks for listening to my ranting! The girls have been on infacol and dentinox with no joy. Gonna try Colief then lok at changing the milk to Aptamil comfort or changing bottles. My friend who BF all her kids and they had colic texts me alot to keep me going each day and Deaks is a star and a great support to me!! :)

Village Gala day tom, can see it far enough! Military operation to go anywhere and since it takes 2hr to feed both girls, I then only have 1 hour before they are due fed again... luckily my mum will come and feed 1 for me to have 2 hours gap to get out. Anywhere I go we get stopped and asked lots of questions about the twins, which is lovely.... but not when u have 1 hour to get out the door, get to asda, faff about with the twin trolley, get ur shopping, get 2 babies back into the car, get home and get 2 bottles ready....phew....out of breath even typing that!! lol So don't go too far anless Dh or my mum come. managed tennis lessons tonight with 4 kids myself..... proud of myself! :)

Well, off to bed, girls prob up soon.

Anyone heard from LMW?

Take care ladies.

[deaks66]

Hi all, going to catch up with posts later.... seems like we are all going through a lot when i quickly read. Heading out to my nephews party v soon and just about sorted my head out. Visited my friend last night with 3 boys who just had her dd this week. I had prepared myself for finding it hard but it was even tougher than i imagined. She told me how she was much more besotted with this one, how she wanted to go on nights out straight away after her boys were born, but not with this one and how she was enjoying breast feeding for the first time ever. Not great things to hear when you are suffering with gd obviously. She asked me how i was feeling now (she knows i swayed) but now she has a dd she is kind of on the list of people i have to pretend to iykwim. I can only be truly honest with mums of boys only except for one friend i have who has a pp. Anyway, through the night i was very teary and this morning and desperately want to stop feeling sorry for myself. What a rollercoaster!

Just quickly, though will catch up properly later i promise and not be all me me me...

Inglewood hope you had a better eve last night. Glad the cd working for at least one!

Maybe, sorry to hear you and car in the wars. Not good after you have been in such a great frame of mind,

Zanacal...waiting to hear you news. Cant wait. Only smog ladies allowed dd's in my opinion!!

Kell, promise i will do the survey later! Hope you are ok.

Maybepink, what an awful thing to be going through. What did you decide to do... stay home or did you have to go back in. Hope all well. I would rope family in as much as possible and your dh will be fine...good for them to be thrown in at deep end with kids sometimes!

Pinga, babymad, wont be long now. I know i keep saying that but life going to look up when little men are here. I cant wait for my next 20 weeks to go as i know i can stop being a miserable pg woman!

Much love to all. Sunset, everyone else hi!

[Babymad]

Hi girls.....

Maybepink ~ I hope everything is going ok, so good that they spotted it!! I am in the same boat....no family whatsoever to help and DH working lots so we have no one to help with the boys...it's very hard, lots of hugs xx Keep us posted on how you are doing x

Zanacal ~ I'm with you on its too hot to be fat!! My feet and ankles are really hurting! Hopefully little miss will make an appearance soon!

Maybe ~ wow your car was on fire! Sounds scary - hope you are all ok!

Sunset ~ loving your pics on FB!

Inglewood ~ sorry things are hard at home at the mo, don't put too much pressure on yourself or DH right now- you are both very tired and very busy! It won't be like this forever and men don't cope as well as we do with life being manic! I hope the colic settles on so you can enjoy your girls as time will pass so quickly.... Hold on in there Hun, it will get easier x

Deaks ~ loads of hugs hun xx it is so so hard. I pretend to eveyone too and get fed up with having to justify my large family of boys......!! Try to enjoy your pg and remember you've still got chance of having your DD in the future, I know that doesn't help right now but it may help you on your low days. Have you decided where you are going to do PDG?
Things are ok with DH, we aren't arguing as much, even though it's very hard at the mo as we've got so Much going on with the house which is very stressful and time consuming and looking after 3 kids too....!! It's full on and hectic and I've got no patience and very hormonal so some days are a battlefield but we are trying not to take it out on each other as much.
We don't talk about the baby issues and when I do attempt to tell him how upset I have been with everyones comments he just says I take everything the wrong way....he doesn't get it at all!!!
I do think GD is sparked a lot of the time by people's reactions and comments and I know I can't take much more of people's comments - its made me feel so low the last few weeks and I actually dread going out now as Emotionally I'm struggling to pretend I'm ok! We are going to a BBQ later I know I will get the usual shit from everyone and I am dreading it.

Charlie ~ Yes Beck and Noah are very alike bless em! :) I feel like you....I just have no motivation, excitement or will to do anything related to the baby, I think I'm in complete denial that I'm having a baby and I just think its all going to go away!
Lots of hugs xx

Hi to everyone else....hope you are all enjoying the sunshine:)

[HopeandDreamG]

Deaks- major ((((hugs)))). That had to have been soooo hard. I would have felt exactly the same way. I totally keep my gender desire a secret. The only people that know are dh (of course), my mom and one friend. I do not want to deal with everything that goes along with the gender discussion. I was at the OB and two women were there saying they were done bc they had 1 each. They knew I was trying for another and after found out I had 2 boys they were like oh, that's why you want another. Everyone just assumes. I guess that really means that it's pretty natural to want both. I wouldn't admit it though even to strangers I will never see again! I was like if u met my boys you'd know why it didnt matter to me. I will have MAJOR GD but id like to elieve i will cherish ever last minute once i have a baby in my arms probably for te last time Anyway, sending love from NY.

[deaks66]

Thanks for the hugs H&D (loving the love from NY!) and babymad! I just cant believe how awful gd is.... its constantly there. Dh commented today that its like i have lost a child and it feels a little like that...like im constantly grieving... ridiculous really. I have to keep telling myself to snap out of it and enjoy my lovely boys as i don't want to remember these years as just gd dominated. Babymad, yes dh and i sat down this morning and had a serious talk (a momentous occasion in my household!). We made a plan that we would head out to HRC next Easter (woah!) and if that fails genesis next summer and again the following easter. Its just a case of why wait! Id rather give HRC a shot while ds3 is really little and fairly immobile.

I hope the bbq went ok and you didn't get too many comments. Awful that you feel like you dread going out but i know where you are coming from. I dread the questions and if i could avoid people and the subject i probably would. So glad that there has been an improvement between you and dh though. Hopefully your little man will bring you closer again.

Hope, im so hopeful for you this month!

Sorry to everyone else that i still haven't caught up on posts properly, been outside most of the day and then chilled in front of a film with dh. X

[zanacal]

Yay for the HT plans deaks! I'll look forward to following your journey :D

Still nothing happening here. Not keen to do much to try and help baby along but might tackle the 'big steps' up the hill near our house today - I walked up them the day I went in to labour with DS3!

[maybebabythree]

Zanacal - I hope dd comes soon, I feel for you and babymad in this heat!

Deaks your friend with three boys and a dd sounds like a Pratt. Can you imagine any of us saying how much greater our girls are than our sons? Tis a bit unfair to her kids. I have us ogs say our dds are calmer and more chilled but better? Not heard that. I don't like people having favourites as it causes issues for the kids

Yes gd really sucks. To those with girls please tell us you feel your girls relived that pain? I would love to hear that you feel complete and happy now. I bet you do which is as it should be.

My poor car, I hope it is fixable. Don't realise how much it ment to me. My independence. Having to borrow dhs car now. A astra with three kids and two adults is a squeeze.

Went to a party last night and watched my eldest playing a nine year old girl. I am imagining him with a girlfriend now. I felt proud and upset he is growing up all at once. I just feel like I love him more each day. He is so clever and witty. Dave is unbearably cute - everyone told me at the party so it must be true. But ds2 I'm afraid is just a shitbag. What did I say about favourites lol!

Oh and I had the same comment again from my bf 'will you keepgping for a girl forever?' and three is a handful from a few people. But do you know what three isn't a handful it's a real blessing.

[Babymad]

Z ~ Hope the walk helped :) Ive always gone over and was induced with the last two so not expecting any diff this time BUT I so want a home birth but mine just don't seem to want to arrive in the world!! Fingers crossed today is the day for you :)

Deaks ~ That is great news re PDG and how wonderful to have such a supportive husband :) I am very pleased for you (and very envious!) xx I don't like to think about living in regret but if I could turn back the clock I wish we had had the money to do PDG again - I think that will always be something I struggle with. I think if DH had been supportive it is something we could have done but he struggled with it all - most of my hi-tech friends had supportive DH's when doing PDG and had several attempts, I suppose I feel let down that I didn't have that. Two of my hi-tech friends have recently had their baby girls and they both went to Dr Potter so I have everything crossed for you x

BBQ was awful (as expected) struggled it keep it together, had an argument with DH on the way home and spent the rest of the evening in bed crying. Ive had all the same crap today - i can't explain how much I dread the school run - even the headteacher was saying 'oh god' not another boy today - how I will face everyone when he arrives I just don't know :(

I do get where your friend is coming from with wanting to stay at home and make the most of her DD, I don't think its about having favourites just that content feeling. I have always enjoyed the baby bit soooo much and loved the newborn cuddles and being motherearth BUT this time all I can think about is being being ME again, getting back into shape and enjoying some kind of social/ keep fit life again. It's like all I can focus on is escaping and getting on with my life - obviously I wouldn't feel this way at all if I was having a girl......so my GD is definitely different this time as I've never felt this way before.

Only 4 more days of putting up with everyones bullshit and then I can hide for several days over half term before my induction on 11th.

Maybe ~ Dave is defo a cutie and a real blessing :) My eldest is 8 and he's really grown up this year - He's lovely company, I let him stay up last night and watch Soccer Aid, it was nice to sit and watch it together. I am far from a football fan and normally disappear when footie is on the TV so it was nice that I could watch it too (Only wanted to see John Bishop in shorts - I have a bit of a soft spot for him :))

Inglewood ~ How is things with the girls and DH?

xxx

[deaks66]

Babymad, its funny cos although my friend probably does have that feeling of just wanting to make the most of this being her last etc, i do definitely get the feeling that a lot of it is to do with her baby being a girl. She has bought a whole wardrobe of girls clothes, which is totally understandable, but bearing in mind her boys arent that well dressed in comparison, i think she is just finally content in life. I would also feel the same but i would never dream of making such comments, especially to someone she knows that swayed and found it hard hearing boy again. just another case of insensitivity.

Cant believe you sons headmistress said that to you. When i got the grimace i JUST about managed to hold it together though i did make a point of saying how everyone seems much more bothered about the gender than i am. She soon shut up. But if someone said something THAT rude id have to tell them how rude they were being i think. Or at least say 'excuse me????!!!!' I feel so bad that you are going through all this...just hideous!

I have been very lucky with dh about pgd. I think deep down he would love a dd. Though he has never said that to me. I think he also see's how upset i have been and knows that i know we have the money to do it (the first attempt at HRC would be my inheritance money anyway) so doesn't really have a leg to stand on. Im sure he wont be quite as chilled when he has to turn up to various clinics to leave his deposit of swimmers! I sooooo wish there was a way you could give pgd another shot :(

Maybe - i love how you summed up having three! I really cant wait to have three and apart from a wobble every now and then have got my head around another boy. Im sure the sunshine helps, im not sure why but when i see them playing outside my gd is so much less. Im actually jealous of you babymad, zan and ping, all having babies over the summer. So lovely to be able to show them off better and also get to look at those lovely skinny newborn legs all day long.

Hi everyone else! Zanacal, you had better be having your baby right now!

[maybebabythree]

Wow babymad that comment from the head is so hurtful. I wonder if they even realise how rude that is? My worse is my bf. When I had dave she kept saying to dh did he want to hold her dd as it's his only chance to hold a girl. That hurt as I want to him a girl to hold plus I had just had dave so he seemed like a sorry second place to her I guess? Also she keeps saying will I keep trying for a girl like no family can complete without one. Yes I will keep going till I have hundreds of the little buggers and when I get my dd the boys are going on eBay (tempting with ds2). They are my kids! Yes I do want a girl but I can still love and enjoy my sons. But I don't she realises what she says so I try not to get upset. Apart from that I don't get the comments. I think my bf upsets me as it's said on front of dh like she won the jackpot and I came second place. But I really didn't. We both hit the jackpot

[deaks66]

Kell, i did your survey, i hope it wasn't too late. I actually have no probs with male midwives/surgeons as i had a lovely surgeon help deliver ds1 when things got difficult and i was rushed to theatre.

[deaks66]

What a cow hun! Anyway whoever is more broody by someone else's daughter than their own son?!!...she sounds soooo annoying! funnily enough, im not nearly as broody around baby girls as i am boys, i guess because i have never had my own. Sons are equally amazing as daughters its just that we'd like to experience both. Wish other people could see that and stop being so smug!! ha ha!

[Babymad]

I agree boys are just as wonderful as girls......and its awful how people react so negatively to all boy families :( Maybe its because I'm on number 4....most peoples worst nightmare! I feel like I've defo had my fair share of comments!

Maybe ~ Thats very unkind what your BF has been saying......I wouldn't be able to stay calm or let them kind of comments go over my head.....just dreadful!

Deaks ~ I agree your friend was very insensitive saying those things when she knows what situation you are in - some people only seem to think about how they feel though and once they've achieved their dream those who are still trying just don't matter anymore!

Cant wait to start hearing all about your hi-tech journey :)

[zanacal]

Wow, I can't believe the comments some of you have to put up with - just shocking! I seem to avoid them somehow or I'm completely oblivious to them because I'm too busy trying to keep the boys in order :D The only comments I've had lately were to tell me how lovely the boys were (in Costa - they're not always!!) and I think any big family is something to envy! I was watching my 3 in the garden together yesterday and thinking how wonderful it is that they have each other. Yes they're a handful but they're a heartful too :D

Starting to get a teensy bit p!ssed off with not going in to labour now. I know I'm 'only' 5 days over but that's more than I've ever been before I don't even feel like baby's head is engaged!

[maybebabythree]

Zanacal dave didn't engage even in labour. I think our wombs just get too slack after two kids! I get lovely comments too but every now and again they show me up! Like just now down the doctors - grrgghh! I hope you have lots of nice summer outfits for dd. I would love to buy some summer baby dresses! I see lots of lovely things for Ashton but he has too many clothes from his brothers. I need to stop spending too as god knows how much my car will cost to fix

[zanacal]

I think most children misbehave at the doctor's - I've spent many a time in the waiting room sweating and stressing!!

None of my others were engaged before labour either (though they were all back to back!) - but they also arrived pretty much on time so I didn't have the issue of not being able to have a sweep because I didn't need one! The boys are bouncing on the trampoline and I may just go and join them - that might do it :D

[Inglewood]

A wee quick hello before I sneak off to bed.

Sorry to hear many of you are still having horrible comments, literally days before your babies are due, some people haven't a sensitive or common sense bone in their body....or a brain! I LOVE being a mum, regardless of boy/girl, that's been since I held ds1 in my arms. Maybe, yes I do feel so blessed that my aching has gone and wish you all too one day can experience it too, or continue to enjoy the blessings we all have already which is all our gorgeous boys (some still young and full mischief like my ds2, or sensitive and great company like my ds1 and your ds1 too Babymad).

Hope your car got sorted Maybe?

Deaks, wow PGD! I am am friends on here with a couple of mums here that did pgd and got twin girls, so u never know! lol

AFM, using the colief with ???? better more settled girlies today?? not sure if it's that or the heat knocking them out as it's been 25-27 degrees C today. Enjoying putting them in summery clothes as the boys were winter babies (oct/nov), so I never know what to put on them.... paranoid they are cold when they are prob stewing hot! It been tough this past week, but ok today, think Dh finally realises after this past week how tough it is on ur own with 2 coliky babies! and was nicer to me today. Know it's early days as they are 8wks old today, so this is whe the adrenaline runs out and the hormones and sleep deprivation catches up...

Will pop on tom, Z stalking u on fb for news..... Fx not long now...

nite all, thinking of you all and with much love x

[pinga]

Zanacal - can't believe bubba is still keeping you waiting!!! I think the trampoline sounds like a great idea :D Shake her out!!

Deaks - my little man will be a winter baby! Just getting into winter over here! Although winter isn't as bad here. Although at least we have heating in our house now. Been fishing out all the snuggly warm onesies for bubba.

Babymad - what a terrible comment by the head!! Stupid and ignorant. I must say I haven't had many comments yet... but then nobody really knows we're having boy #3! Ernie told the lady at childcare that the baby had been born and his sister was at home... boo hoo... not sure what he was thinking!!! Think MIL won't say anything as she has 4 boys 1 girl - and desperately wanted another girl but they kept coming out boys.

Inglewood - hang in there - I'm sure you're doing a fantastic job. From what my SIL went through the early days with twins are a bit of a blurry mess!!! - she had one with severe reflux so was covered in vomit most of the time :) But now things settled down into a good routine. She always says routine is key with twins.

We were discussing names last night. Why do we bother. The one name we sort of agree on... we're still not sure about. Arghhhh...

Been stuck at home the last couple of days. Percy has hand,foot and mouth or impetigo (not sure which - doc was useless). He has the most hideous sores around his mouth... and he dribbles constantly anyway so they hard to keep them dry. :P Really want him to get rid of it before baby arrives.

Anyways - lets see some babies soon :baby: :baby: :baby:

[maybebabythree]

Ping - what are your names? With dave we tried calling him one name on saturday and the other on Sunday. Saying it repeatedly helped us to choose but picking after he was born was a mistake in hindsight

[Kell]

Thanks for doing the survey ladies :) I'm now busy analysing results oh joy lol.

Zanacal I really hope little lady makes an arrival soon :) I have a feeling this one will be late and cause problems, purely because the boys were both on time and as far as labour goes they were easy!

Babymad what a horrible woman! And Deaks sorry ur friend has been less than sensitive I don't get why people don't think before they speak!

Inglewood sorry you've been having a hard time, but glad to hear dh has been a bit better today. Fingers crossed things are settling with the girls

Afm- nothing much to say really, still feels like ages till she arrives but in reality it's not. This past week has been awful with the heat. I've turned into a swollen mess. Doesn't help we've had all three boys running me ragged as well lol for the next two-three weeks my life is college work and kids, but then I can chill out for a few weeks before her arrival. It has been lovely watching the boys have water fights and play so well together.

Hope your all doing well :) night night!

[indigoviolet]

Hello ladies, hope you all doing OK.
Sounds like we are all in the same boat with all the comments etc, people just do not know when to shut up or how to stop shoving their smugness with their girls in our faces! sorry, just get so pissed off, why can't they just even pretend to be happy? I can't believe what the head said to you Babymad, that is soooo unprofessional as well as insensitive, to be so openly gender biased like that is terrible. You are right Maybebaby, we have actually all got the jackpot, it is a complete miracle to have our bumps and babies, we are so blessed, just other people can take the shine off it unfortunately and make us focus on the wrong things.
I feel like I am doing OK at the moment, SPD not too bad and loving the warm weather. Love having you all here, sorry not been posting so much, I do check in on you every day though :HH:

[Sunset]

oh my, lots to catch up on! hope everyone is doing okay and enjoying the nice weather :)

Deaks, Babymad and Indigo ~ I am so so sorry you still have to put up with comments :( It's truly awful! as you know I kept the gender a secret with dd so I had them too! some people just don't use common sense and others must be really miserable sh*theads who feel the need to insult others because they're unhappy with their own lifes. Deaks, I must say your friend sounds very smug!

Zanacal ~ Bless your soul! I would be tearing my hair out now I think if I was you :P I've never gone over so I don't know what it's like but I can only imagine how frustrating it must be, not to mention how uncomfortable it must be to be 40+ weeks pregnant in this heat. Hopefully it won't be long now!! :) She is probably so snug and comfortable she doesn't want to come out :P

Threelittlemen ~ hope your dd feels better now! my ds1 has a virus and so has had a fever now for 7 days... a very looong 7 days!

Maybebaby ~ yes the ache and pain is gone for me now that she's here, but I will always be a boys mama at heart I think iykwim. Having experienced gender desire and suffered through family's, friends and strangers stupid, hurtful comments for so long - it is something I will always carry with me! at least i know no gender comments will ever leave my lips!

kell ~ 32 weeks already wow! i understand it feels like ages, but she'll be here before you know it so try and enjoy these last few weeks as much as you can :)

afm, dd has gone from being a "sleeping-eating-pooping infant machine" to wanting to be entertained constantly lol she's rolling all over the place and demands to have a toy in her hand at all times and if she's left without something to inspect/chew for more than 10 seconds it's world war 3! she loves to see what the boys are doing and beams from ear to ear whenever they speak to her. It's all very cute! :) times flies though! i cant believe she'll soon be 5 monhts!

[zanacal]

Ahhh Sunset, I love that age and Serena sounds adorable! Thanks for the well wishes, I'm trying to wait patiently but have been pretty grouchy today!!

[deaks66]

Hi all!

Sunset, cant believe serena is 5 months already...wow! Yes the comments can be so hurtful but im not struggling as much now since i had my chat with dh and we have a plan.

I have my 20 week scan on friday... cant wait and hoping i might be able to convince them to confirm its a boy. Im in now way hopeful it could be a girl mind you but i guess it would be nice to know for sure either way. Could a turtle at 13-14 weeks turn out to be a girl?

Hi everyone else, zanacal sorry to see you still on here and not holding your dd in your arms yet. Wont be long though :)

Pinga, babymad, any twinges yet?

X

[charlieispy]

hi all so sorry not been on awayh at legoland then i have spent most of my time to and fro to my mums as my washing machine is still broken feel completely unprepared for a baby and my house is suffering as i am out so much trying to wash clothes GGGRrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

I wanted to send some huge love and hugs to those suffering at the expense of idiots who feel the need to open their mouths when they really shouldnt! We WILL love these little boys so so much its just so very hard too. For me this is it and I know it is for others for those who try again I wish you every success x x god i would love to hold my very own daughter!

inglewood - have you considered chiropractor for the colic?? HAve 2 friends both with non sleeping colic reflux babies who were both 100 times better with just 1 appointment - going to try it this time with baby4, also thinking of taking nico as he has never slept properly and has lots of problems with his neck

must run need sleep havnt sat down at all today x big love to you all fx on tomorrow x x

[deaks66]

Thats a good point actually charlie! I saw a cranial osteopath with ds2 and a week later he was loads better. Could just have been a coincidence and the reflux getting better but i definitely believe some babies hold a lot of tension in their necks from birth and this kind of thing can really help!

Lovely to hear from you hun, hope the mountain of washing gets cleared soon! We will love these boys soooooo much! Maybe we should change our name from smog wannabes simply to smob! yeah!

[Inglewood]

The oesteopath might be something to consider, esp with DD2 who was breech, she has colic worse! My friend goes to a crianal oesteopath with her son, will get the no.

[charlieispy]

Hope it helps hun x huge hugs

and deaks totally with you their SMOB <3 although 2 of my boys were constantly mistaken for girls whilst we were away!!!

[Babymad]

Hi girls.....

Inglewood ~ pleased things are better with DH, and I hope things ease up with the girls. I suppose it's trial and error which takes time and patience, neither of which you have at the mo I'm sure! X

Hi to Kell and Pinga and Indigo :) Lovely to hear from you all x

Charlie ~ Legoland looked great, can't wait to take the boys :) hope you get your washer sorted soon, no fun!! All my jobs seem to take forever these days with such a big bump, can't wait to be bump free!!!! I was painting the garden fence yesterday and it about killed me off! How are your counselling sessions going?

Zanacal ~ Still no signs? Have you done the deed, that helps??

Deaks ~ love your holiday pics :) Hope all goes well with your scan tomorrow, I still think that was very early to say for sure so I will look forward to your post incase a pink bean is in there :)

I am so pleased its the last day of school today! I am so looking forward to hiding for a week! My induction date is the day they go back to school so at least I won't have to see anyone for awhile now and baby will be here by the time I do the school run again.

You would think with going 2 weeks over with the others that I would be use to it but I'm struggling now :( my feet are so swollen and it's very painful to stand/ walk. Each day is dragging :(

My hitech friend had her twin girls yesterday, must be so amazing to hold your DD(s). I wish I knew how to accept that I will NEVER have a DD....where do you start???

[Babymad]

Sunset ~ 5 months, that is crazy!!! I love that age, so sweet :)

[deaks66]

Babymad, is there no way you could ever go HT again? would it be the finances or dh (or perhaps both) that would be the problem? You look like the sort of person that could handle 5 kiddywinks!!

[Babymad]

Babymad, is there no way you could ever go HT again? would it be the finances or dh (or perhaps both) that would be the problem? You look like the sort of person that could handle 5 kiddywinks!!

In a word no! I would only ever go to USA for PDG which would mean taking a family of 6 on holiday plus hi-tech costs which we could never afford in the next few years and then I would be too old. Winning the lottery would be the only way, honestly! DH will be having the snip at some point after this baby is born. We couldn't practically have 5 kids either, not enough room, cost etc etc. I always wanted four so feel thankful we have been blessed with four healthy children but I couldn't go to 5 - I much prefer even numbers ;) So it is a reality that I will never have a daughter, I will never know what she looked like, what her hair colour was, her eye colour, her smile......I struggle everyday with knowing my whole life will have an emptiness that nothing else can fill but a daughter. But life does go on so i will have to manage somehow......

[charlieispy]

babymad i could have written that post myself i only ever wanted 4 although in my head i always had girls at least 2!! The fact i will never see dh hold his baby girl he longed for so much never to know what she would have could have been. I couldnt have 5 i would have to have 6 but we really cant afford 4 kids let alone anymore - we will never have that money not anytime soon and i have made dh promise if we do have that sort of money I can get a VW campervan just for me.......its something i have wanted since i was 16 and so my aim is to save for that make it my piece of girly heaven in a world of b.o footie and boys......they can have a tent!!!

[Babymad]

I too feel so sad charlie that DH won't have a daughter, he would have been a great dad to a daughter and before my relationship went 'boobs up' with my dad i had a great relationship with him and a good few years of great memories where my dad was my world .I can't accept that we will never see our daughter get married....have her first child and become a woman :(
I too am like you, desperately trying to find someone that i can cling onto that may help me feel better.....we are renovating our bathroom at the mo and I am trying to add an element of 'girly' (Cath Kidston towels etc) god knows why it will only get trashed by 4 boys but hey ho I need someone in my life other than toilet seats left up and football boots everywhere :(
Are you waiting until his arrival to tell everyone?

[deaks66]

In a word no! I would only ever go to USA for PDG which would mean taking a family of 6 on holiday plus hi-tech costs which we could never afford in the next few years and then I would be too old. Winning the lottery would be the only way, honestly! DH will be having the snip at some point after this baby is born. We couldn't practically have 5 kids either, not enough room, cost etc etc. I always wanted four so feel thankful we have been blessed with four healthy children but I couldn't go to 5 - I much prefer even numbers ;) So it is a reality that I will never have a daughter, I will never know what she looked like, what her hair colour was, her eye colour, her smile......I struggle everyday with knowing my whole life will have an emptiness that nothing else can fill but a daughter. But life does go on so i will have to manage somehow......

... and you will manage babymad, i know it! Things will become much less raw and time will heal like it does with everything else. DS4 will be the start and things will continue to improve im sure of it. Its such a hard prospect for any of us to face. I still don't picture a dd in my life even though we will give HT a shot... it just doesn't feel like its meant to be somehow.

[deaks66]

babymad i could have written that post myself i only ever wanted 4 although in my head i always had girls at least 2!! The fact i will never see dh hold his baby girl he longed for so much never to know what she would have could have been. I couldnt have 5 i would have to have 6 but we really cant afford 4 kids let alone anymore - we will never have that money not anytime soon and i have made dh promise if we do have that sort of money I can get a VW campervan just for me.......its something i have wanted since i was 16 and so my aim is to save for that make it my piece of girly heaven in a world of b.o footie and boys......they can have a tent!!!

a campervan sounds perfect! Decked out all girly and vintage and lovely, i can just see it!

[zanacal]

Hugs Charlie and Babymad x

Still no baby here (DTD hasn't helped unfortunately!!) but I'm getting lots of braxton hicks today so I hope they may lead to something. I don't usually get them the whole day through! DS1 is on a school trip today and I've been really worried about it so maybe my body will go for it once I've got him home safe and sound :D

[maybebabythree]

Zanacal poor you, she can't stay put just hang onto that fact!

I have a little tear for your post babymad and Charlie. I think all those things too and more.

With dave I guess I've been lucky in a way as my real turning point in gd terms was sitting in the fertility clinic ready a leaflet on life without children. Then going home and telling dh it looked like we could have no more kids. I don't think I've ever felt more desperate and low. After going so low the only way is up

Had a dream last night I was dying (nice!?) and ds1 was there and I said I loved him more than I have ever loved anyone before. Weird because I woke up and thought surely that would be dh but it did get me thinking. He had a health scare with lumpy nodes this month so maybe dream was due to that.

[indigoviolet]

I'm the same as you to some extent maybebaby as it took so long to get ds2 and being devastated by the miscarriages I do feel so so blessed to have children at all. I think all those things too though and would have loved things to be different but I just try not to think about the future (without a daughter) and make my mind think about other things when I begin to daydream or dwell on what will never be. We won't go to 4 kids so this is it for us but I'm feeling pretty hopeful that, like Deaks said, time will heal and there will be so many wonderful things to enjoy in the future with our wonderful boys.
Love the idea of the name swap too, smob, brilliant! At least that is something we all are and it makes it better to focus on what we do have rather than what we don't.
huge hugs to you ladies though, it is so great we have eachother and somewhere we can be completely honest and feel understood and supported.
:HH:

[indigoviolet]

Maybe- hope your ds1 is OK, has he been to the docs is all ok? We will have to meet for a coffee again soon :)

[maybebabythree]

Indigo that would be lovely x yes ds is ok, went to hospital this week who confirmed infected lymph nodes. He has had a massive lump for months I think having a baby makes me paranoid. Finding a lump anywhere freaks me out. Especially when the gp said it had spread.

[pinga]

Charlie and Babymad - huge hugs. Everything you guys said are my fears/feelings. I'm just not dealing with it yet.

I have to focus on my gorgeous children. Had an Ob appointment this morning and when I said I was expecting boy #3, she said "Poor Mummy" to Percy. I didn't feel annoyed by the comment... just a bit sad as I do feel a bit like that!!! :)

Probably have to have fetal monitoring on Monday :P - so thats the 4 hour session at the hospital with them doing my Blood pressure every hour! boo hoo. Silly BP is up and down all the time. Really don't want to be going to the hospital twice a week now!!!!!

I keep logging on here expecting to see at least ONE baby arrival :D

[maybebabythree]

Yes pinga - come on babies!

Sorry you have monitoring. When I was in overnight there was woman there who was admitted at 17 weeks with placenta previa and not allowed to leave until her section at 37 weeks! No help to you but imagine that - poor woman

[charlieispy]

COME ON BABIES - not mine just yet though got to get to my best friends wedding on thursday! Although my BH are horrendous and a couple of them today made me think oh shit!

Where are these bubbies x

pinga - hugs for the comment - i told a stranger at legoland i was having another boy and she said oh how lovely.....probably one of the first nice comments I have had! Hugs for monitoring too its sooooooo boring isnt it x hope they dont keep you waiting too long my bubs always move and then lose the trace so i have to stay for ageeeeees either that or sleep and dont move never behave anyway.

Right sending MAJOR labour vibes to all in need of them x indy is currently sitting on my back like the monkey he is demanding dinner.....off i trot then

[nuthinbutpink]

I have created a June thread for you ladies-

http://genderdreaming.com/forum/trying-conceive-girl/11031-uk-smog-wannabes-june.html#post199770