when/how did you decide to go HT?

[gizmo77]

wondering if those of you who have tried or are thinking about HT, have you tried swaying 1st? or went straight to HT. and what happened that made you decide HT?

[nuthinbutpink]

I never knew about swaying.

After 3 of a kind, I no longer was okay with just another baby. I wanted a son or no baby at all. After 3 kids, I wanted a guarantee and I could financially afford it so it was a relief when I learned of HT. No decision process involved at all when it came to whether it was the right thing for me.

[deaks66]

I feel the same as nuthin except as you know I swayed with the bubs I am carrying. HT next time or nothing at all.

[gizmo77]

but once you found out about HT, NBP, didnt you come across swaying and think to try that 1st? (least restrictive method 1st). and NBP, are you done with kids?

deaks, you wouldnt try swaying again? maybe tweak this or that? ;-)
deaks, will you be done after your HT baby?

[nuthinbutpink]

but once you found out about HT, NBP, didnt you come across swaying and think to try that 1st? (least restrictive method 1st). and NBP, are you done with kids?

deaks, you wouldnt try swaying again? maybe tweak this or that? ;-)
deaks, will you be done after your HT baby?

Least restrictive method=no guarantee! I already had 3 children. You just have one with one on the way. Had I found out about swaying with number 2 I absolutely would have tried that first. I would have done HT for number 3 had I known about it but obviously don't regret anything now.

I do not want any more kids. 4 is plenty!!!

The fact that you would even ask the question that way makes me feel that you are okay with another girl(#3) if swaying doesn't work and maybe then you could try HT OR swaying works and you get your boy with #3. I just had no tolerance for chance anymore.

[glory]

I swayed for all of mine, I didn't mind how many boys I had but I wanted at least one girl, the first 2 sways were more timing, some diet, but the third was as full on sway as I knew how (I never knew of sites like this and there is so much more you can do to sway). So when we decided one more try, HT is it.

Of course I would never take back ds3, he is my joy :) A true gift, but if I knew it was so hard to go HT the older you got, I probably would have done it then.

[deaks66]

but once you found out about HT, NBP, didnt you come across swaying and think to try that 1st? (least restrictive method 1st). and NBP, are you done with kids?

deaks, you wouldnt try swaying again? maybe tweak this or that? ;-)
deaks, will you be done after your HT baby?

No i couldn't possibly sway again... it was torture, took me a year, 2 chemicals and no success with gender at the end. In some respects i wish we had skipped swaying and gone HT for dc3, but that feeling is fading as i get more and more excited out ds3 arriving. I guess if HT doesn't work i possibly would have to consider going au naturel for one more shot at a dd but i really doubt i'd risk it. And no, there wouldn't be anymore kids after my 4th!

[RedCanoe]

I debated going HT for #3 as we only wanted 3 kids and wanted a girl. In the end, after a lot of research, I scared myself out of it (the drugs, possibility of losing all that money, etc) and decided to sway. Got DS3. No regrets, he's awesome, but I don't really want 4 kids. Problem is I still very much want a girl. So it was HT for a girl or move on. Decided we could live with 4 kids if #4 was a girl, so we went HT.

[gizmo77]

Least restrictive method=no guarantee! I already had 3 children. You just have one with one on the way. Had I found out about swaying with number 2 I absolutely would have tried that first. I would have done HT for number 3 had I known about it but obviously don't regret anything now.

I do not want any more kids. 4 is plenty!!!

The fact that you would even ask the question that way makes me feel that you are okay with another girl(#3) if swaying doesn't work and maybe then you could try HT OR swaying works and you get your boy with #3. I just had no tolerance for chance anymore.

actually i have 2 girls with one on the way (im currently pg with #3 a girl). i guess i kinda always heard about HT but thought it was unethical/unGodly, esply bc i heard of mostly celebs doing it. but the more i heard about non-celebs doing it i guess i convinced myself it wasnt a bad thing. i DO have this lingering feeling in the back of my head tho that ill get punished (by God..in life) for it tho. but there is NO way id sway again. i felt i did it super HARD core and STILL didnt get my DG. and i am defly ok with this pregnancy being a girl but i have to say its bc of this site that has helped to limit my GD. i feel like i failed tho still and i need to have the son i always wanted since day one.
i was just asking to see how your minds got to HT and why ppl wouldnt at 1st try something less expensive and less invasive than PGD. if i only had one girl, i would probably try swaying 1st (didnt know about swaying till after #2). and if #2 was a girl, id probably go HT for #3 and just try again for #4 naturally. (ive always wanted 4 kids..so im glad i found this info out before i tried for #4 on my own!!!!).
oh and yes i am ok NOW with #3 being a girl..initially i always wanted 3B1G or 2B2G. but i tend to convince myself of why things happen the way they do. and since ihave no shot at 2b2g, id be happy with just ONE boy!!!

so for me, its HT or nothing also. i wont try again naturally and risk it.

ps the other thing that "holds me back" SLIGHTLY from PGD is the money...if it doesnt work in the sense that i dont get pg. that would be too huge a disappointment emotionally PLUS financially. theres members on here who spent money on several cycles but with no success of getting pg..and normally they are OHW moms!! how can this be??? so to me..even PGD isnt necessarily "GUARANTEED."

[gizmo77]

I swayed for all of mine, I didn't mind how many boys I had but I wanted at least one girl, the first 2 sways were more timing, some diet, but the third was as full on sway as I knew how (I never knew of sites like this and there is so much more you can do to sway). So when we decided one more try, HT is it.

Of course I would never take back ds3, he is my joy :) A true gift, but if I knew it was so hard to go HT the older you got, I probably would have done it then.

so it sounds like me...ppl are more likely going for HT bc its their VERY last attempt at a child at all (they dont want anymore children after their HT attempt). thats how i feel..i'd like my 4th and final to be my desired gender if possible.

[gizmo77]

No i couldn't possibly sway again... it was torture, took me a year, 2 chemicals and no success with gender at the end. In some respects i wish we had skipped swaying and gone HT for dc3, but that feeling is fading as i get more and more excited out ds3 arriving. I guess if HT doesn't work i possibly would have to consider going au naturel for one more shot at a dd but i really doubt i'd risk it. And no, there wouldn't be anymore kids after my 4th!

this is what im grappling with also. what if i still dont get pg with PGD? and we run out of money. then what? sway again??? my theory is the more children you have of one gender, the more likely you have a chance of getting the opposite gender at some point. but my limit is 4. and that also may not be true for everyone. ive heard of ppl with 6 daughters, 8 sons, etc. so the question is..if PGD doesnt work..will i be ok with 4 girls?

[nuthinbutpink]

I misread your signature. Sorry about that. I found out about HT while pregnant with DD3 too. I don't feel like I went around God to get my son. In fact, I remember being outside at night looking up at the stars begging God for HT to work.

It's extreme. It is. It is putting yourself through elective IVF and it is a tough emotional process. Swaying is hard too and I think swaying requires much more self-discipline and sacrifice. So much of the HT process is our of your hands once you start.

Having 3 doesn't seem much different than having 2 of a kind. It changes the dynamic in a positive way, I think. They have all welcomed and had fun with their brother and we are all meant to be here.

Enjoy your third. Good things come in three's and when you are ready, we can help you through HT if you choose to go that route.

[gizmo77]

I debated going HT for #3 as we only wanted 3 kids and wanted a girl. In the end, after a lot of research, I scared myself out of it (the drugs, possibility of losing all that money, etc) and decided to sway. Got DS3. No regrets, he's awesome, but I don't really want 4 kids. Problem is I still very much want a girl. So it was HT for a girl or move on. Decided we could live with 4 kids if #4 was a girl, so we went HT.


my husband's number was always 2 kids. and mine was 4. but i THINK i could have stopped at 3 if #3 was a boy (since dh is less open to more kids). i also feel like if i had a son, id be able to handle everything better!! ;-)

[jils04]

I dont think ht is playing with gods wishes either. He could still not let it happen. I felt it was still in his hands .

Sent from my GT-I9000 using Tapatalk

[deaks66]

So many things on here are EXACTLY how i feel....being able to handle a 4th ONLY if it was my dg, questioning myself if pgd doesn't work whether i would be ok with 4 boys - answer is definitely no. As harsh as that sounds, i never want these feelings EVER again. But would the temptation that my dd could be the next one make me give in?!

Gizmo, i totally know how hard it is for you but it also warms my heart how me having 3 boys is something you would love. I hope the fact that people like me would love to have some dd's in the mix, warms your heart too as we go through all this.

[deaks66]

Having 3 doesn't seem much different than having 2 of a kind. It changes the dynamic in a positive way, I think. They have all welcomed and had fun with their brother and we are all meant to be here.

Enjoy your third. Good things come in three's and when you are ready, we can help you through HT if you choose to go that route.

I love reading things like this. Calms me right down when im feeling panicky :)

[gizmo77]

So many things on here are EXACTLY how i feel....being able to handle a 4th ONLY if it was my dg, questioning myself if pgd doesn't work whether i would be ok with 4 boys - answer is definitely no. As harsh as that sounds, i never want these feelings EVER again. But would the temptation that my dd could be the next one make me give in?!

Gizmo, i totally know how hard it is for you but it also warms my heart how me having 3 boys is something you would love. I hope the fact that people like me would love to have some dd's in the mix, warms your heart too as we go through all this.

you know ive been so wrapped in my culture that i always felt that ppl ALWAYS wanted boys. so to me, for a person wanting a girl is like..."you do? why?" but i do understand now. and i do see all boy moms looking at me and my girls and drooling and me looking at them...so it does sort of ease the urge in that there are ppl who want what i have too.

[Bee Shine]

I decided to go HT as soon as I knew it was a possibility. As soon as I found out I was having DS#2 I went online, did a google search and when I found out it was possible to get a daughter via IVF/PGD I explained it to my husband and decided that when we were ready for #3 thats what we'd do.

[Wanting a daughter]

I also decided to go HT as soon as I found out it could be done. Literally right that second. I was sat on the lounge room floor and saw My3sons on TV talking about her plans to go to Thailand. I jumped up and got straight on the net to start researching and haven't looked back since.

[PinkWish]

I started researching HT when I found out I was having DS2. I did a very lame attempt at a girl sway with DS1 (just timing). With my second, I attempted a more strict sway (supplements, some diet, timing), but nothing too crazy, which obviously didn't work. I only want three DC max, would've been content with two if this one had been my girl, so that is a huge factor. I'm done with swaying. Now I'm trying to decide between HT and stopping at my two DS's.

[bluedreams]

It depends on how many kids you want to have, how badly you want a certain gender and how extreme your GD was for your last child. I am expecting my 2nd daughter in August and when I found out I was having another girl, I was crushed. My DH and I always talked about having 3 kids but I think I would have been ok with 2 if this were a boy. Now we have to go for #3 and I Desperately want it to be a boy. I would need a guarantee this time. That's why I am looking into HT which is the only option closest to a guarantee. I don't really have much faith in swaying and looking at forums that talk about diets, supplements, timing, etc makes my head spin. There are also so many different types of sway plans...which one will work? Call me lazy, but I rather pay a doctor to do everything for me to get my DG. LOL
I also agree with you about HT not working. That could be a very expensive failure. I'm more afraid about getting pregnant and miscarrying. that's more devastating than not getting pregnant at all. But, that could happen with any pregnancy. I still feel it is worth looking into. I know it is for me because I don't think I could handle having another girl.

[jens0972]

I tried swaying with DS 2. I am 41 so time may have run out for us but we are considering HT for one more shot at having a girl.

Jenny

[gizmo77]

I misread your signature. Sorry about that. I found out about HT while pregnant with DD3 too. I don't feel like I went around God to get my son. In fact, I remember being outside at night looking up at the stars begging God for HT to work.

It's extreme. It is. It is putting yourself through elective IVF and it is a tough emotional process. Swaying is hard too and I think swaying requires much more self-discipline and sacrifice. So much of the HT process is our of your hands once you start.

Having 3 doesn't seem much different than having 2 of a kind. It changes the dynamic in a positive way, I think. They have all welcomed and had fun with their brother and we are all meant to be here.

Enjoy your third. Good things come in three's and when you are ready, we can help you through HT if you choose to go that route.


boy, NBP you make it sound like its extremely horrible to go thru PGD/IVF ;-) just curious as to what part of it makes it so hard? the waiting to see if there are any eggs/XY's/normal embryos at all? the "you-may-not get pg part? possiblity of miscarrying?
the emotional responses to all the hormones injected in you? giving yourself shots? waiting? waiting? and waiting?

also then at what point would someone feel finally relieved? at the point of live birth?

for me since ive been thru the swaying and to me i did it as hard core as i possibly could..i guess i feel the same way about how you felt IVF was (a struggle) and i came out feeling ill never do it again. ive never had to have help fortunately to get pg at all but i have heard stories from friends regarding injectibles and IUI IVF, etc but nothing personal of course so ic ant relate just yet.
but having gone thru the PGD/IVF process which you considered such an extreme emotional process, do you think you could do it again? (if you wanted more kids and a particular gender)

[gizmo77]

I tried swaying with DS 2. I am 41 so time may have run out for us but we are considering HT for one more shot at having a girl.

Jenny

im too an worried about the age. i feel like if my dh does finally agree to a 4th he may ask me to wait a couple yrs and i feel that the longer i wait the harder IVF may be...? so i feel pretty pressured.

[nuthinbutpink]

boy, NBP you make it sound like its extremely horrible to go thru PGD/IVF ;-) just curious as to what part of it makes it so hard? the waiting to see if there are any eggs/XY's/normal embryos at all? the "you-may-not get pg part? possiblity of miscarrying?
the emotional responses to all the hormones injected in you? giving yourself shots? waiting? waiting? and waiting?

also then at what point would someone feel finally relieved? at the point of live birth?

for me since ive been thru the swaying and to me i did it as hard core as i possibly could..i guess i feel the same way about how you felt IVF was (a struggle) and i came out feeling ill never do it again. ive never had to have help fortunately to get pg at all but i have heard stories from friends regarding injectibles and IUI IVF, etc but nothing personal of course so ic ant relate just yet.
but having gone thru the PGD/IVF process which you considered such an extreme emotional process, do you think you could do it again? (if you wanted more kids and a particular gender)
I'm not sure what I typed that sounded horrible. It's not horrible. It's emotionally challenging. That, coupled with spending $20,000 per try can do a number on you!

I am blessed with what I have so I don't want more kids so the answer is no to doing it again. I know people go back for extra embryos but I have 4 kids already.

What's hard about HT is it's available and it's a guarantee and when it doesn't work like you think it will when you've never had to do anything but have sex once to conceive your other kids, it can devastate you just like a swaying opposite can. You do all that work and walk away with nothing and $20,000 poorer.

If trying and failing is easier to take than an opposite, HT is right for you.

[atomic sagebrush]

I tried swaying with DS 2. I am 41 so time may have run out for us but we are considering HT for one more shot at having a girl.

Jenny

Jenny, I know this may not be what you want to hear but please, seriously seriously consider donor eggs. Your odds of success will be much higher and your daughter's development actually will be quite highly influenced by the maternal environment of your womb, so she will still be YOURS.