TTC Girl. Need advice

[Sweetfame]

Hello.

Firstly I want to say Thank You for GD forum and people on here.

I've been lurking,gathering all the info and trying to digest it all. I read and re-read all of the Atomic essays(thank you).

Just a bit about myself and DH. I'm 27 my DH 43.I'm a real control freak and competitive person with tendency to obsess about things(i know not good for TTC girl) We are both smokers.I drink occasional beer he doesn't drink at all.

I'm 57kg and 158cm height.Athletic type but since having DS juts lost weight and maintaining it,well it's sort of maintaining itself. My weight only goes up by 2-3 kg and then back to 57kg. Although I look quite skinny I haven't got even half of the muscles I've had before DS and in need of serious toning(i'm couch potato)To loose weight I would need to exercise but when I do I immediately bulk up.And i know I would not be able to do 1 hour of cardio everyday.

I Never eat any breakfast,red meat,eggs,dairy in fact I hardly eat anything during a day. But I do have a soft spot for chocolate and occasional take away(pizzas,burgers,chinese).I must admit we do like to indulge in Big Family size dinners but not on regular basis.I do drink Diet Coke and tea and coffee.My DH drinks tea and coffee(can't function without it in the morning) He doesn't eat breakfast to,he is more of the snack person(but all the wrong snacks)

About the actual TTC. Because of my DH age abstain is a No-No..BUT we both got quite low sex drive so we can't do FR for days and days in a row.Every 2-4 days will be just perfect but I worry that his sperm count will go through the roof for TTC pink. DH will be able to do CFR for a 2-3 days but will that be enough? Plus with my DS it took us 9 months to TTC with BD everyday and twice a day(we have had a very lengthy honeymoon period)

So regarding our diets it should be relatively simple to do LE diet.And I will try to loose weight even if only few pounds. But i'm really lost what to do with actual BD how,when,how many time etc...I'm planning to take Vitex,i already take antihistamines because of my hayfever. I don't track my O i used to but it was stressing me out so i stopped.

Sorry it was sooo looonggg.But I thought it would be easier to post it all in one place rather than many questions all over the places. Thank you.

[atomic sagebrush]

I would do exactly as you suggest, do the LE Diet and try to lose even just a smidge of weight while remaining a couch potato. I only lost 3 lbs before I conceived my DD.

Caffeine is fine for TTC pink.

Don't worry if you can't do FR. Compressed FR is absolutely fine or if he can't do that, just do the hurry up FR (have DH release, dump it, then as soon as he can, DTD again.) Or, you could do nothing whatsoever and just BD every 2-4 days. This will help you get pregnant faster (I don't want you going for 9 months without getting pregnant, that's too long on diet.) Frequency sways very little anyway, people put way too much emphasis on it. My husband was 42 when we conceived our DD and we were BD every 4 days in perfect boy frequency. Also, every blue swayer who has ever gotten an opposite was trying for boy frequency - it just doesn't sway by that much.

DH does not need to do LE Diet. If he wants to give up meat, eggs, fish that may help a bit but no worries if he won't.

[Sweetfame]

Thank you Atomic! That's what my "gut" instinct was telling me.

So if frequency does not sway why there so much talk about sperm count?

I know people who conceived DS on one attempt(abstain) and me who did FR(without swayin) and got DS.

I was thinking do abstain from AF till CD 12(dump that)and then BD on CD 14,15,16. I've got 28-30 day cycle.

and I usually judge my O by CM.

Or just BD CD 12,14,16 once each day. If frecuency does not sway then we don't need to stress about it.

Looking back at how we conceived our DS I was a recovering anorexic(boy)

ate red meat,sausages and a lot of homemade cooking casseroles,pies (all sway boy)

And we conceived DS in October under Leo sign! So our super FR although we wasn't swaying got us our DS.

I must mention that we both smoked then too(I gave up when got PG).

How long I should be on LE diet before first attempt?

Another thing does lack of sleep sway in any way. I usually get 6 hours sleep every night.

Thank you!

[TTC5]

Welcome!

[Sweetfame]

Thank you!

[atomic sagebrush]

1)Becasue there are many other ways to lower sperm count besides frequency. If you've lowered sperm through other methods and made your internal environment more hostile to sperm, that's all that matters. Some guys can shake off the FR. Some guys can shake off the abstain. Some women's bodies are so good at keeping sperm alive tht they can start with fewer sperm and keep more alive than women with more hostile environments do. Frequency prob. does sway to a small extent - like if we took 1000 cloned couples and had them do different frequency patterns and nothing else to sway, there might be some small difference, but in the real world whatever small difference is probably negated by all the rest of the stuff we do to sway. Frequency just gets lost in the shuffle once you start doing diet, jellies, supps, etc.

2)I do not recommend abstain for any men over 35 and esp. not over 40. http://genderdreaming.com/forum/trying-conceive-girl/8801-articles-studies-about-why-abstain-not-good-males-over-35-a.html You're not getting rid of one bad batch by dumping that first abstain batch...all the sperm are mixed in together and are not in separate compartments. Abstain makes bad sperm for some time afterwards. Having several attempts after abstain is a bad idea anyway because your husband's body might suddenly up production because he has access to a woman where before, he didn't. http://genderdreaming.com/forum/gender-swaying-discussion/10156-jellybean-factory-%96-understanding-sperm-count-frequency.html

3) Smoking does tend to sway pink but is not a magic bullet.

4) how long to be on LE Diet depends on a lot of things. Since you're recovering from an ED I would suggest staying on diet only a very short time before TTC. Like even 2-3 weeks. Your pH and blood sugar will go down very quickly. Testosteorne and estrogen can take a little longer to decline, but you can try switching to a vegetarian diet (not limiting protein or cals) for a month or two before you start the full LE Diet to help reduce your T and E levels without having to do a very strict diet for even a second longer than necessary.

5)Lack of sleep sways pink.

[Sweetfame]

Now it's make sence to me. Thank you for detailed explanation.
I must have missed your essay about Jellybean factory,that's why I couldn't
wrap my head around abstain and FR. I read that abstain was bad but thought
FR after it would act like "antidote" lol. I had no idea that it's all mixed there.
Now I understand your advice about BD every 2-4 days.
Thank you Atomic for taking your time and explaining it all! Really appreciate that.

[atomic sagebrush]

You're very welcome!! Glad I could be of some help.