Why do you want that dream gender, anyway?

[cravingsalt]

I was chatting with another mom on here and we got to talking about the reasons why we wanted the gender we wanted. I thought it might be interesting for us to share some of our reasons. For one, I think it would be great to read the opposite gender responses so we can be grateful for what we have and/or may end up with if our sway doesn’t work...kind of a ready-made list of why the opposite gender is not indeed a boobie-prize! It’s uplifting to read about your blessings, you know? Also curious to hear the dream-gender responses from women who hope for the same gender. Might help us feel a little less crazy. I have a feeling this gender desire of ours goes beyond the pigtails and summer dresses and handsome little mama’s boys- even beyond the vague “family balancing”, although these are some of the really obvious and understandable answers. People tend to judge swaying - but I think a lot of us have pretty darn legitimate reasons for wanting the gender you want. At least if it’s on paper and acknowledged sometimes you can face it, deal with it and move on, whether or not we end up with our DG.

Me first.

Girl! For me, I was always a bit of a tomboy and always got along better with the boys, so when I really think about it I almost wonder why I feel like I’m missing out on anything. There are the cute dresses, and sweet temperament I would hope for, the daughter I can one day shop with and have grandbabies without fearing being shunned by a DIL. There’s also the family balancing factor. I have two boys and declare myself “queen of the sausage factory” to friends and co-workers…but behind my smile, despite my amazing boys, despite all the reason I feel boys are as good as girls, I still hide a little-girl shaped hole in my heart. Why? I feared raising boys at first, not knowing how to raise a man despite having a good one at my side. I am learning the ropes pretty readily, but I find I still want to have a little girl to protect and do right by and to teach her the things I would like to have been taught. Like how to hone true self-confidence as a female. I want to pass down my mom’s recipes and ideals. Boy version resolution? I vow to protect my boys just as fiercely, and also to teach them to respect women and to have respect and love for themselves. And maybe even to cook! But well, the summer dresses – those are just something I may end up having to miss. <sigh> There. I said it. And actually, it feels a little better already.

Anyone else?

[coocoobananas]

I don't know! When I ask myself, I just don't know! I don't know if it's the because she'll be the same sex as me or because as a kid my dad always did 'boy' stuff with my brother that I couldn't go to cause I was a girl and it still hurts me:( and now my husband likes to go on boys camping trips... Which I appreciate and try to take advantage of but still it stings a bit. I swore whe I had a little girl I would let her shave her legs when she was ready ( my mom held me back) and when my sister had her 1st boy I bought a girl swEater and for some reason I knew I never would have one (I wasn't even close to having a kid then) so I don't know why I bought it... Maybe to keep the dream alive?
I think I'll be ok without knowing what a girl is but then their pigtails and little bathing suits draw me back in. I just want to know what it's like:)
Great thread idea btw:)

[Zivic-Bubac]

I want a boy, and I'm almost sure it's because:
-the way I was brought up
-cultural influences

Boys are more appreciated here, if you don't have at least one, you failed as a mom ( like me, for instance :sad:)
With 3 girls. DH and I are going to be easy targets for all kinds of nasty comments. Even our closest relatives have already started to share their ( unwanted and idiotic ) opinions about all girls family.

[auroara78]

I've had my little girl in my heart since I was a little girl myself.

I wore tons of dresses and refused to wear pants to school until the 6th grade! I loved my Barbie dolls and even those porcelain doll babies, and loved to dress my dolls in ball gowns and have 'beauty pagents' with them...but then I played Atari with my older brother for so many hours...and during 11th grade, I beat my Homecoming date at Mortal Kombat 2, since I had gotten so good playing it with my brother. So I had a great balanced childhood as far as indulging and learning about boy things (from my brother) but still wearing the dresses, having the princess fantasies, etc. (I loved Disney as a kid, you know, all that stuff...)

So I always felt so deeply in my bones that I would have girl(s) that having boys was a shock to my system. I just had this quiet knowledge about myself, so when I had my second son, I started to doubt that vision, and then I started to question myself: why did I really have to have this GIRL anyway? What about having a girl would complete me?

This question still strikes at me, even now that I am having my desired gender.

Of course i would be lying if I said I wasn't going to totally enjoy the girly stuff: the cute dresses, ruffles, the extra attention to cute little details that are in girl clothes. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't looking forward to brushing her hair, and us having a mommy-daughter mani thing going once in a while. But mostly, I really desire a raise a strong female.

I have worked super hard to be where I am today. I have a Master's degree that I am very proud of, and despite the fact that I do work, I am super proud that I earn enough that my husband can stay home and watch the kids. I love the role reversal, and love the fact that my husband gets to show our boys that men can cook and clean too, that everyone can pitch in for the family, it doesn't always have the mother doing the cooking.

So my dreams for my desired gender is I want to raise an informed, educated young woman, and I hope she'll love reading, too. I hope we can spend hours together discussing books in the future, and that I can help her with boy problems, etc. I just really, really want to experience the mother-daughter bond, as complicated as it can be.

For my sons, who bless their heart, are so lovely and sweet and so unexpectantly what I NEEDED, I want to raise them to be strong men who are caring and intuned with what females need/want. I want my sons to be free to be them, not to be constrained by male stereotypes. My oldest son and I make dessert all the time, and I love watching him mix the ingredients together, I love how he's become my helper in the kitchen when it's my turn to cook (weekends.) I love how he tells me I'm his very best friend.

[sixhappysons]

I just want to experience raising both genders. Nothing more than that really. I'm not the most girly girl but I want to give my sons a sister, husband his little girl & to raise a daughter to compliment my fabulous sons.

[Zivic-Bubac]

I want to raise them to be strong men who are caring and intuned with what females need/want.that is so nice of you to want to raise your sons to be good husbands and fathers one day :agree:
God knows there aren't many good man around. I was lucky to marry one, but my sister married an idiot who molested her and wanted her to have an abortion etc. and now completely neglecting his son whom he hasn't seen for over 2 years.
Sorry for rant....

Sometimes I'm so afraid will my girls marry some sort of idiot :nails:
If I ever have a son ( which is less and less likely :sad:) I would raise him to be a gentleman and when the time comes, good and carrying husband and father.

[ThreeMenAndALAdy]

Great thread. I want my dd to have a sister. I have a sister. I don't like the idea of her having to find a "friend" to grow up with. Having friends is wonderful, I just don't want her to have to rely on that. My little girl has 3 brothers and a male cousin who's almost 15. Girls can be cruel and I worry about that as she gets older. May sound silly, but I don't have a single friend from childhood. I have many friends that I've been blessed with since I've had my children. I know there's no guarantee that they'd be close, but I'd at least like the option to have that happen. Writing this makes me want another dd even more. I'm trying to set my children up with siblings to go through life with. Family is SO important to me. I don't know where I'd be without them...

[Mochagirl]

I thought I'd already responded to this thread, but I must have typed it up then forgotten to hit 'Post'. Pregnancy brain :sigh:

Anyway, I grew up the only girl in a family with 3 boys. Perhaps as a result of that, my Mom became my best friend. She's the first person I call when I have news - I sometimes even share big news with her before I share it with dh. As long as I can remember, I assumed that I'd have a little girl one day who would become my best friend. I even found a children's book recently in my childhood room called 'When I have a little girl.'

I'm fairly sure my Mom unknowingly fed into this, as I remember her always talking about the family heirlooms I could pass to my daughter some day, and I remember after my twins were born her falling in love with them immediately but saying a few days later when I told her how surprised I was that they weren't girls (we hadn't found out the gender before birth) that she really hoped I'd be able to experience having a daughter some day. She has also always told me that though she's close with all her other grandchildren (the baby I'm carrying will be #9 for her), her relationship with my kids is somehow 'different' and she feels closer to them (even though she lives 4 hours away), probably because she hasn't been afraid to step on any toes as she was with her DILs, and she's always been really hands-on, changing diapers, babysitting, etc. I want to have that relationship with my grandchildren too. Having said that, I must say she has been pretty involved with her other grandchildren too - in fact, with two of my brothers it was my Mom, not my SIL's Mom, who was the one who stayed with them to help out in the early days after the baby was born - I kept reminding myself of this when I wasn't sure if I'd ever have my girl.

Yes, I know that having a daughter is no guarantee that I'll have a good relationship with her, but as my boys get older and start getting interested in things like sports, they're gravitating more towards their Dad. I wanted at least the chance to have someone in the house who 'gets' me and what it is to be a girl/woman. To be honest, it's more the adult relationship I crave rather than the pink clothes and tea parties (though I'm looking forward to all that too).

[alreadyneedivf]

well I can do this for both because I have always been dying for both genders:

I have always wanted a boy so badly because I am super close to my dad. I was always a tomboy growing up (well maybe now still) and I LOVE sports. I so know I am in the minority here, but I actually think little boy clothes is sooo adorable. You can dress them up like little men and I just love it! Also, my sister was super dramatic, and I always thought a boy would be less dramatic. Also, I always wanted a brother growing up because I was semi awkward around boys growing up because I knew none. Oh yeah, and obviously my DH is my favorite person since I married him, so who wouldn't want a clone of him--lol.

That being said, I now want a girl because my sister and I talk to our parents everyday. I am SURE my son will too (like my husband does), but my family thinks girls are more likely to (really not sure if that's legit). Also, since moving to NYC, I have become a little more girly I guess and I would like to share shopping and manicures with a daughter (shallow I know). Haha fine and I'll say it--those headbands the girls wear are pretty cute:)

All of these reasons I'm sure are not true and I'm sure I'll have a tomboy girl just like myself and a son that cooks and cleans just like my hubby, but hopefully only time will tell:)

[Damienne]

💋

[mybluepilot]

I want a boy, and I'm almost sure it's because:
-the way I was brought up
-cultural influences

Boys are more appreciated here, if you don't have at least one, you failed as a mom ( like me, for instance :sad:)
With 3 girls. DH and I are going to be easy targets for all kinds of nasty comments. Even our closest relatives have already started to share their ( unwanted and idiotic ) opinions about all girls family.

For me it is this, although not that my own mom and favored boys over girls it is actually the opposite, but it is the WHOLE culture, boys are favored to a certain extent. In addition to this:
1) my father, brothers are just AWSOME sons, very loving caring funny just would do ANYTHING to make their Moms happy.

2) We are the ONLY married couple in both families( mines and DH) who don't have a son, whenever all the guys go out for games my husband is the only one with no son :(

[Yuzu]

This sounds super stupid, but I really do want to buy all the frilly clothes and the ribbons. It seems that when I go shopping the store is 3/4 girls stuff and 1/4 boys things. I'm kind of sick of all the blue. I'm sad to think I'll never say, "my daughter and I...."

This may be my imagination, but it seems as though I'm treated like a failure because I have boys. Whenever someone asks me, "what are you having?" and I say, "my fourth boy," they look at me like I'm nuts. This is an absolutely true story--when I had DS3 I was lying in the hospital bed resting. He had been born maybe 15 minutes before, and all the nurses were still in the room. My sister came in with her daughter, her only child. I say this not just because she's my niece, but because it's true, but she is beautiful. She's probably one of the prettiest little girls I've ever seen. She was about three at the time.

Anyway, I swear, when she walked the nurses actually LEFT my son, and went to oooh and aaah over how pretty my niece is, and how gorgeous her dress was, and how nice she was...blah, blah, blah. It hurt so bad. It still does. I don't want to be jealous, but it just seemed like DS3 was forgotten.

It's so hard for me to face that I'll never have a little girl. I just can't believe it.

[cravingsalt]

Sorry about your gd, Yuzu! You are not alone. People can be so insensitive, and I think we women often gravitate towards the glitter and cuteness of a baby girl. But in the hospital room, come on people!! I went to a restaurant with my week old ds2 (along with ds1 and hubby) and the waittress peeked, smiling into the baby carrier, and made a big frowny face when she saw his little tiny face. She said, "oh, another boy...maybe next time you'll get a girl!" I'll never forget it, and she'll probably never remember it. I pray that when you see your little guy's cherub face it takes away any disappointment. I've heard several women say their last baby was their (secret of course) favorite...maybe it took the drive for a girl to keep you going for #4 or you would've totally missed out on someone you didn't know just how desperately you needed! XO

PS, we would've made great queens in the olden days. :)

[cravingsalt]

Mocha-I totally agree with the adult girl relationship dynamic. Congratulations on your dream come true!

[cravingsalt]

Where do you live? I should move there. It's the opposite in my neck of the woods (Central Florida, US) Maybe we should do a cultural exchange, lol!


I want a boy, and I'm almost sure it's because:
-the way I was brought up
-cultural influences

Boys are more appreciated here, if you don't have at least one, you failed as a mom ( like me, for instance :sad:)
With 3 girls. DH and I are going to be easy targets for all kinds of nasty comments. Even our closest relatives have already started to share their ( unwanted and idiotic ) opinions about all girls family.

[cravingsalt]

Oh, the bathing suits. Forgot that one. The little ruffle bottoms, just makes my heart HURT.
I don't know! When I ask myself, I just don't know! I don't know if it's the because she'll be the same sex as me or because as a kid my dad always did 'boy' stuff with my brother that I couldn't go to cause I was a girl and it still hurts me:( and now my husband likes to go on boys camping trips... Which I appreciate and try to take advantage of but still it stings a bit. I swore whe I had a little girl I would let her shave her legs when she was ready ( my mom held me back) and when my sister had her 1st boy I bought a girl swEater and for some reason I knew I never would have one (I wasn't even close to having a kid then) so I don't know why I bought it... Maybe to keep the dream alive?
I think I'll be ok without knowing what a girl is but then their pigtails and little bathing suits draw me back in. I just want to know what it's like:)
Great thread idea btw:)

[cravingsalt]

I love how he tells me I'm his very best friend.

Goosebumps. Again. You write so eloquently. Thank you for this, love your posts.

[Mochagirl]

:hugs: Yuzu

[Pearl327]

I have always wanted a mixed family of two girls and two boys.

I have always got on great with boys growing up 3 of my best friends are boys (Luckly two are married to women who get that men and women can be just friends) I am also very close to my dad and I would love to have a son to carry on his name. On the other hand I am from an all girl family - 5 sisters and I get on great with them and I definatly want my DD to have a sister in the future.

I am swaying blue this time just to prove that I can have a DS (fingers crossed) because I got a lot of comments about how I couldn't possibly have anything other then a girl when pregnant with DD as she has 11 aunts and no (biological) uncles. And also to get me a step closer to my ideal family.

And I also think the boys clothes are so cute and delightfully practical as a lot of the girls clothes are overly fussy and DD usully ends up getting mad and trying to pull of the dresses.

[nestof3]

I want to experience both genders. But I'm not going to lie, the super cute girl clothes are appealing too:)

[moof4]

I wanted a girl to share life with.

I wanted a girl for my husband to love, like a father and daughter relationship of a connection not even I would understand.

I wanted a girl for my boys so they knew how girls think and feel with regard to certain things, they can learn this from me however I have come to these conclusions already regarding my own values and beliefs.

I wanted to know what she would look like, I didnt want a girl I wanted a daughter :pickuphappy:

However having said all of this, I love my boys just sad that I will not get to experience some of the things mentioned.

Goodluck everyone hope your dreams come true xxx

[fish2012]

Carving this is such a good thread really intersting to read! I can never really believe GD for boys is as strong in women as GD for girls.... those ttc blue please don't hate me your replies are convincing me i'm wrong ;- But do read the next bit!

My gender diesire comes from my mother I am an only child, my mum was diagnoised with supected cervical cancer when i was born the drs said if you want a second child go home get pregnant now and we'll do the hysterectomy after the baby - my mum has said to me since i can remember I'm so glad you're a girl I only ever wanted one child a girl i would have had to have another baby if you were a boy! i feel the same :( if i get my dream girl I will never tell her what we did to get her in case it influences her to feel the same

I love my boys with all my heart by they aren't girls! I just feel i would be closer to a girl all thier lives in the uk we have an old saying a son is a son until he takes a wife a daughter is a daughter all of her life..

Plus since my SIL has started her weding plans I see how much more interested my inlaws are than they were in our wedding and i'm really worried it will be worse when she has kids.....(they are good people but i fear it's just natural)

shopping is part of it but really its about when they are grown up for me......

[cravingsalt]

I wanted a girl to share life with.

I wanted a girl for my husband to love, like a father and daughter relationship of a connection not even I would understand.

I wanted a girl for my boys so they knew how girls think and feel with regard to certain things, they can learn this from me however I have come to these conclusions already regarding my own values and beliefs.

I wanted to know what she would look like, I didnt want a girl I wanted a daughter :pickuphappy:

However having said all of this, I love my boys just sad that I will not get to experience some of the things mentioned.

Goodluck everyone hope your dreams come true xxx

This gave my goosebumps. It hit a little close to home. Fingers crossed for all of us.

[clarabell]

HI, I have three lovely boys but with each one wanted a DD so much. I have suffered GD so bad. To make it worse my husband has no understanding and thinks I am crazy. We argue about is alot, talking to you guys is the only way I can be understood and know I am not alone. I feel I will not be complete untill I have my DD, just can't get my DH to agree and now our marriage is falling apart. I keep my chin up by thinking in this day of HT maybe I could just get a donnor and be done complete regardless of what he wants. Those of you who have willing DH are very lucky to be able to keep trying. May all our dreams come true. I know many people will think I am selfish but at the moment I resent him for not loving me enough to see what this is doing to me. It feels like a loss.

[Grace]

Ever since I can remember I was certain that my first child would be a girl. I'm the oldest of 3 kids , my mom is the oldest of 9 brothers and sisters, and I've always enjoyed the special relationship between my mom, her sisters and my grandma. There's nothing like girl power! For many years I really wanted to have children, just haven't found the right partner yet. When ever one of my friends got pregnant I felt so jealous, like a kik in my stomach. But if the baby turned out to be a boy, then I wouldn't feel so bad...(nobody knows this, naturally).So when I finally became pg for the first time, I was sure that I'm going to have a girl, just couldn't even think about a different option. Of course I was shocked when we found out it's a boy in the 20w US, it took me three days to get over it, everyone thought I was strange and over reacting. But then DS1 was born, and I immediately fell in love with him, I thought he was the prettiest baby ever. When we decided to TTC again (that is I decided and DH went along with me) I tried to sway for a girl, but I ended up mc. After that I remember feeling kind of stupid for wishing for a girl, and that it really doesn't matter as long as the baby is healthy. So next time we did nothing to sway, and sure enough got another adorable boy. Now, this past year I find myself wanting another baby and my desire for a girl has returned big time. I find myself gazing at pink baby strollers and pretty girls wearing dresses , I can't help it. Last year we went to a country fair and these little girls were showing what they learned at ballet class, it brought tears to my eyes! Though I love my boys dearly and wouldn't trade them for anything, a girl would make me so happy, that's why we're swaying pink now, but I must confess that another boy would also be fine, I guess with each baby it gets easier for me, my boys are so cute...good luck everyone and enjoy your kids no matter what, they are a true blessing!

[zibibbogirl]

For me it is about having the experience of raising both genders. If I could only choose to have either all girls or all boys, I would probably pick boys. So I am in my element having 3 DS. I was over the moon when DS1 was a boy. But it would be nice to have the opportunity to raise a DD too.

[Northern_Shutterbug]

I read something somewhere about why someone wanted a little girl and it moved me to tears. I wish I could find it again, it was beautifully written.

It went along the lines that as a mother of just boys you will always miss out on those moments you can only have with a daughter;
giving birth to a daughter
dressing a girl up
explaining to your daughter what it is to be a woman and how to be a strong one at that. Then to watch her grown into a woman, and understand what she is going through.
to be the mother of the bride
to watch your daughter have children of her own and experience pregnancy again through her eyes
watching your daughter be a mother

I was always a tomboy so the dresses thing isn't a big thing to me, but is something nice.

I was so close to my dad, and although my boys are super close to their daddy, I would like him to have the father daughter relationship I had with my dad. I was a daddy's girl! I know my husband is desperate for that relationship too as he has a sister and sees it with her.

I'd like to raise both genders and I think it would help my boys understand girls more if they are raised with one. I would hope that it would help them respect women more when they are older.

Part of me thinks that when I'm older I think a girl would make more of an effort to keep the family together, help with big events like Christmas, and hopefully help look after DH and I when we get old. But i also hope I raise my boys well enough to do all this as well!

[wishing4anXX]

I'm new here and browsing through all the threads I saw this thread. It's interesting to read why we all have gender dreams and I have often wondered why I need a little girl so bad. Before I ever got pregnant, I always thought I would get girls. I come from a family with mostly girls and I have only sisters. We have a great bound with each other and our mom. I'm a girly girl and like pinks and purples, glitter and make-up, doing my nails. When I got pregnant I just knew it: my little girl was coming!! But she was very ill and sadly she passed away during the pregnancy :sad: All I wanted was to be pregnant again and didn't care if it would be a girl or a boy. I got a beautiful boy, who has literally saved my life just being his adorable little self. My husband only wanted one more child, so I felt a lot of pressure for our third child to be a girl. I tried the shettles method, but didn't get pregnant. So I stopped tracking my ovulation and just went for it. We got another boy. He is gorgeous like his brother! But they are absolutely boyish is every way. My house is cluttered with lego, cars, balls. And I HATE balls. I get a fright when they come flying over. And the come flying over. A lot. I just want a girl to see what it's like, to get a great bound with and also to see if she looks like her big sister who is so dearly missed. That's why we will go HT in a few years. My DH actually doesn't want more children, but he knows how sad it makes me not to have a girl so we will take one more shot. HT is our only option to ensure the right gender. I'll have to wait a few years though as my youngest is still a baby and life is busy enough already. Until then I'll dream of pink and purple on a little girl...

[Winngrin]

Im dreaming of raising a girl so that I can teach her the things my own mother never taught me, which makes very little sense because my sister and I grew up with only our mother. Despite this, I was never taught about girl subjects. I had to learn about my monthly cycle from friends, my own mother never talked to me about it and didnt know I was getting it for quite some time, until she found some pads under the bathroom sink. She never spoke to me about sex, or love, or all the things a woman should expect and demand from her partner.

Growing up without a father or any strong male influence has also made me want to raise a daughter with my wonderful hubby as her strong male influence. I longed for a brother or some other male to look out for me while I was younger.....someone for boyfriends to fear, LOL! I had some close male friends that somewhat filled that role, but really nothing can take the place of a father or brother. I have my 3 boys now and I want a girl so badly to have the relationships I never had. I also feel that I am now at a point in my life where I can be a good influence to a daughter, and it hurts to admit, but I wasnt at this point in my first marriage. I truly believe I am at the happiest point in my life thus far, and that maybe things just happen when they are supposed to.

[Sihaya]

It's been a couple of weeks since the last post, but I think this is a great conversation to have.

I am the oldest daughter of an oldest daughter. Growing up, I always imagined my first child as a girl. I didn't even realize I was assuming I'd have a girl until I was pregnant for the first time and just knew from conception that he was a boy. That's when I first stumbled on the idea of swaying, when I was researching GD. I wanted to sway after that but had an unexpected pg that ended in miscarriage followed by a Shettles-only sway that also ended in miscarriage. At that point, like a previous poster, I just wanted a live baby and so ended up with DS#2.

I am a tomboy and hate pink (for me and on babies/girls), glitter, bows, makeup, jewelry, etc. What I am really longing for is the things that I can't teach a boy or help them with like explaining fertility/sexuality, being mother of the bride, and being included when they have their own children. I also would like each of my children to have at least one sibling of each gender (I was 1 of 4 - 2 girls & 2 boys), which means if our pink sway attempt works, we will do it again in the future. I'm open to having three or four more kids, and would love if the rest were all girls.

[Tiffani3]

Hi girls all your words are so moving.

I have 3 ds who I adore completely they are all so different and special in their own ways. They adore me too :) they will literally do anything for me! I am so proud of them and I know that they will grow to be strong handsome men who tower over there mum and give the best son cuddles ;)

I would love to give them a sister some one to protect to worry over, and to understand girls from a sisters point of veiw. Also for my dh I feel as though I've failed him by not giving him a daughter, I want a daughter to look at him like he is the most wonderful man in the world.

And for me although I have these 4 wonderful men in my life she's missing
It's like this ache in my heart, head, stomach, everywhere. I what to know what she looks like, her personality how she smiles etc!

When I was pg with ds1 dh and I discussed if we had a boy he would deal with willys and all men stuff and if we had a girl then I would deal with all girly stuff! I'm so frightened I will never get my job never have that daughter, always looked at as though I've failed as a mother as a woman :(
I pray to god that this pg is her.
to give me the only thing I've craved my hole life to feel like for once gods listened to me and I will be truly happy and fulfilled.
xx

[Surprise5th]

I have a girl and 3 boys. I want my daughter to have a sister, she has been begging for a sister since she was little, and just got three brothers. I love all of my children equally but in different ways, but I think having the youngest be a girl may make the boys a little more sensitive. I also think they will all be super sweet to a baby sister!

[Shakti]

It's a variety of reasons for me. We're trying for our first child next year, with a strong desire for this one to be a daughter.

It has been a very long-standing desire. It began with what was a horrific childhood for me, ever since, I've been itching for a daughter, as I long to give her the childhood that was as good as what I should have had, basically, its the most direct way to create a new family legacy. I don't feel like I need all girls, just for my firstborn to be a girl.

Ever since I moved to the Netherlands to be with my husband, this desire has grown even stronger. Partially because when it comes to feminism, the Netherlands is WAY more progressive than the South of the US, where I come from, and partially because my husband and I have known which girls' name we want since we've met, and have only very recently found a boys' name that both of us are just as crazy about.

Of course also, my mother-in-law has been amazing to me ever since I met her. She never had a daughter, and my husband's one and only brother has had his only child, a son, so a granddaughter is something I'd really love to give her.

Ideally, we'd like a daughter and then a son, we're likely having 2 children. So if this pink sway works, we're likely swaying blue for our 2nd. This goes opposite to what I've heard many people express that they want, a son first and then a daughter, so that the son can be protective of the daughter. While I certainly think that good father-daughter and brother-sister relationships are extremely important to a woman's growth, neither of which I had, it's also important for girls to learn how to protect themselves, not to learn that they need a man. It helps too that from my observations that men tend to also be protective of their mothers and their older sisters, while it's easier for a woman to be nurturing towards a younger brother than an older one, at least while they're children anyway.

That said, if we do end up with all boys, between having an absolute legend of a man like my husband as a father, and growing up among the progressive attitudes of the Dutch, my sons are more likely than most to be the kinds of men that this world needs more of, so either way, I'm rewriting my family legacy.

And it certainly does help too that between frequency of BD, frequency of exercise, and diet, that a blue sway looks much easier to do while having kids already than a pink one. Not a deal-breaker, but it certainly does help for practical reasons.

I know to some it may seem crazy swaying when we don't even have kids yet, but my husband suggested it when we were having a heart-to-heart about my childhood, and what effect it's likely to have on how I am as a mother. And the devastation of never having a daughter is likely to be much greater than the devastation of never having a son, so if the odds of a sway working are around 75%, then even with only 2 children planned the odds of never having a daughter are very low. Either way, I don't think it can hurt anything.

ETA: Also, when we conceive our first, I'll be 31 and my husband will be 33. When we conceive our second, I'll be around 36 and my husband will be around 38. So if we want one of each, it seems better to do the sway that also helps fertility (blue) at the time that we both have declining fertility.

[Blue]

I always thought I'd have a boy first! I dreamed of it really .... My husband wanted a girl he got what he wanted!!!

I love my baby girl - she has brought so much luck and love I to my life. She is already my best friend and my companion ❤

My reason for wanting a boy is I wanted a brother to protect his sister to be there when she needed the support in her life if me and my husband aren't around. I want a boy to protect his sister!

I'm an only child , I had a brother who passed away at 4 days old. I also feel to fill that void that I had a baby brother to love but :( God had different ideas. I also think part of me wants to give my parents the joy of having a boy too. They love my baby girl so much she is a mini me !! Having a boy will complete our family :)
Also would love to have my hubby to have a little mini him. Copying him etc I just need some testosterone in the house for him! He has 3 sisters lol!

[suregena]

Family balance, I guess. I don't plan on having as many as 4 kids but I fear I would if I never got a girl. Mainly, I have such a wonderful relationship with my mom... and I'm her only girl out of three boys, so it's just one of those things, I guess.

[Tiggerian]

I just want to be able to do all the things my mum did before she got sick (mentally ill and is no longer recognisable as a person).

I love my sons, but I really want to experience that mother-daughter relationship. My mum and I used to sit and talk about when I had kids, got married.. how she couldnt wait to see me try on my dress, see me having my first baby, be a grandmother. We used to go shopping all the time, have long evenings in with a glass of wine for her and pop for me watching movies, eat steak dinners just for the hell of it, spontaneously go out for shopping sprees she'd surprise me with.. She never got to see any of it..

Of course I will do a lot of these things with my boys too - But they just don't care about it. They want to play playstation or computer games with daddy, watch killer robots on telly and roar like dinosaurs.. all the things that while I think its lovely to watch I'm not a part of. I can't be a part of it either because "Oh mum ur a girl.. u dont get it!" and it makes me a bit sad because I see the boys having such a great bond with their dad nad how much their dad loves being able to make little "Mini me's" who loves what he loves and appreciates Star Wars, Transformers, Avengers and whatever as much as he does (yes, he is a geek!)

I want a little bit of the family where I can see "me", because atm except for my boys love for books - it's all daddy! They are exact little copies of my OH.

And by the end of the day.. I remember my mum in the early days with so much love and it hurts so bad that she can't be here now. (She's alive but.. she isn't "my mum" anymore.. every thing that made her the best mum in the world is gone). I want to be there for my little girl like my mum was for me.. through the heartbreaks, the happiness, I want to see her on her wedding day, help her with her first child, stroke her and hold her tight when everything goes wrong.. Already the boys are pulling away - cuddles and kisses are for girls, if things don't go BOOM it just isn't fun..

My boys are very stereotypical boys!

I don't even know if it makes sense.. But I remember the feeling of being able to make wrongs right when I found out I was expecting my little girl and when she passed away - well, of course it was horrible, but somehow it helped to think I would experience having a girl before I was done having kids (makes sense!??), and I was desperate for a boy with my first son (I cried for joy when they told me its a boy!). But as time goes by and this feeling that Lily was the only girl I was ever going to have and i lost her breaks my heart even more..

If someone came and said I could have a girl if I gave up one of my boys I'd never agree to it. They are my heart and my soul, but I miss just that little bit of sparkle in the midst of all the roaring dinosaurs and fighting super heroes!

[cravingsalt]

Oh Tiggerian. That was powerful. I pray that you get your little girl- and that everyone here gets their dg's. Gender desire is such a consuming force for so many reasons that those who never experience it will never fully understand.

[secretly sad]

This is a really good question. OK here goes - I don't really know why I am so desperate for a dd to be honest. I love my boys so much (as does all the other ladies on this forum) but I just feel like there is something missing. My parents are quite wealthy and I can honestly say that money doesn't buy happiness. I had a very stable upbringing but my father was extremely strict. He stopped work in his 40's because he didn't have to work anymore, however it certainly was not the best idea because he became an alcoholic. I have lived with this for so many years now and watched it basically destroy my mother and rip our family apart. I have learnt to understand this "illness" as best as can but it is so hard. Anyway, I could go on and on but my point is that when he is drinking heavily it makes my gd so much worse to the point where I am so desperate for a dd it is not real! Why do you guys think this is happening? I can't believe I have typed this as I have covered up for my father for so many years. Thank you for listening... x

[secretly sad]

I just want to be able to do all the things my mum did before she got sick (mentally ill and is no longer recognisable as a person).

I love my sons, but I really want to experience that mother-daughter relationship. My mum and I used to sit and talk about when I had kids, got married.. how she couldnt wait to see me try on my dress, see me having my first baby, be a grandmother. We used to go shopping all the time, have long evenings in with a glass of wine for her and pop for me watching movies, eat steak dinners just for the hell of it, spontaneously go out for shopping sprees she'd surprise me with.. She never got to see any of it..

Of course I will do a lot of these things with my boys too - But they just don't care about it. They want to play playstation or computer games with daddy, watch killer robots on telly and roar like dinosaurs.. all the things that while I think its lovely to watch I'm not a part of. I can't be a part of it either because "Oh mum ur a girl.. u dont get it!" and it makes me a bit sad because I see the boys having such a great bond with their dad nad how much their dad loves being able to make little "Mini me's" who loves what he loves and appreciates Star Wars, Transformers, Avengers and whatever as much as he does (yes, he is a geek!)

I want a little bit of the family where I can see "me", because atm except for my boys love for books - it's all daddy! They are exact little copies of my OH.

And by the end of the day.. I remember my mum in the early days with so much love and it hurts so bad that she can't be here now. (She's alive but.. she isn't "my mum" anymore.. every thing that made her the best mum in the world is gone). I want to be there for my little girl like my mum was for me.. through the heartbreaks, the happiness, I want to see her on her wedding day, help her with her first child, stroke her and hold her tight when everything goes wrong.. Already the boys are pulling away - cuddles and kisses are for girls, if things don't go BOOM it just isn't fun..

My boys are very stereotypical boys!

I don't even know if it makes sense.. But I remember the feeling of being able to make wrongs right when I found out I was expecting my little girl and when she passed away - well, of course it was horrible, but somehow it helped to think I would experience having a girl before I was done having kids (makes sense!??), and I was desperate for a boy with my first son (I cried for joy when they told me its a boy!). But as time goes by and this feeling that Lily was the only girl I was ever going to have and i lost her breaks my heart even more..

If someone came and said I could have a girl if I gave up one of my boys I'd never agree to it. They are my heart and my soul, but I miss just that little bit of sparkle in the midst of all the roaring dinosaurs and fighting super heroes!

:sad::hugs:

[stillwanttwomore]

I am not sure why I have this strong desire for a sister for my other daugther. My sister and I aren't even close, to be honest I don't really like her all that much. But I hope my 2 daugthers are not like this (I have found out recently that I am having a girl). I think for me it comes down to "the heart wants what the heart wants". This is to be my last baby #6 and I wanted it to be a girl.

With all that being said I think if I had had all girls and no sons, I would be even more desperate to have a son. I would want to raise a son to treat the special women like the princess that she was. I find that really, really good men can be hard to find, and I love that fact that I am raising 4 of them and I know they are going to make great husband and wonderful fathers some day. That is something that seems to not ge talked about enoguh. Mothers need to take pride is raising a son into a great man....and hopefully ther own daughters can find someone as equally great.

And to the poster who says that she does not believe that a mothers desire could ever be as strong for a boy as it would be for a girl - you are compeltely off your rocker! And your comment really upset and offended me. And I would NEVER want your daughter to marry one of MY sons, becuase she would probably believe that she was better than my son just becuase she was a girl.

[cravingsalt]

This is a really good question. OK here goes - I don't really know why I am so desperate for a dd to be honest. I love my boys so much (as does all the other ladies on this forum) but I just feel like there is something missing. My parents are quite wealthy and I can honestly say that money doesn't buy happiness. I had a very stable upbringing but my father was extremely strict. He stopped work in his 40's because he didn't have to work anymore, however it certainly was not the best idea because he became an alcoholic. I have lived with this for so many years now and watched it basically destroy my mother and rip our family apart. I have learnt to understand this "illness" as best as can but it is so hard. Anyway, I could go on and on but my point is that when he is drinking heavily it makes my gd so much worse to the point where I am so desperate for a dd it is not real! Why do you guys think this is happening? I can't believe I have typed this as I have covered up for my father for so many years. Thank you for listening... x

It's cathartic to write out, isn't it? My initial post back in the summer mentioned that part of my gd came from past sexual abuse when I was a little girl but I took that part out because I feel like people didn't know what to say, so I edited it. It's just a part of my history, I don't know. And something I'd like to "right" for my own dd, I'd want to protect her and be there in ways that someone wasn't there for me. But that’s not all of it. I bet we could go all day long on this thread and each of us could probably take up a good long session with a shrink trying to get to the bottom of it. But it’s not even like a dd would right the wrongs that were done to me. It’s more like I believe she’d be a little closer to what I’m like, and that we could relate in so many ways that a son just might not be interested in.

[cravingsalt]

"the heart wants what the heart wants".


That's it, in a nutshell!

[jark22]

Well- my mom passed away 6 months ago today (on my younger son's 3rd birthday). :). She had been diagnosed almost exactly a year earlier. My boys were my mom's world- but she always wanted a granddaughter as well.......probably mostly because she knew I wanted a girl too. My mom and I were best friends. Not a day went by that we didn't speak to each other- and I miss her more than my words could ever express. Before she knew she was definitely going to die- she wrote individual letters to me, my dad, and my brother. In mine she said she hoped I had a little girl one day so that I could once again have a mother-daughter relationship. I feel really broken without her.

I hope with everything in me that this little bean I'm carrying is my little girl. I would not trade my boys for anything- but I also can't shake this desperate yearning....

[secretly sad]

Oh girls I am so upset reading your posts. I really hope that one day we all have our dd's to love and cherish as well as our ds's. xxx

[My Three Sons]

I've always dreamed of the cute dresses and putting pig tails in her hair, buying pink, bows and barbie dolls as a little girl. When she gets older and sharing shopping trips, girl talks, the relationship between the mother and daughter. I am already seeing my oldest gravitate more to my DH with football and sports. Once they are all older and into their sports, they won't want to hang with their old mom. I call my mom almost every day. I want to keep that relationship with my daughter some day...hopefully..

[Claire33]

I grew up having a horrible relationship with my mom. That's why I want a DD, to "compensate" for this and give a little girl the childhood and loving mom that I never had. I'm lucky that I'm able to give 2 little boys a good childhood and be a loving mom to them, and hope that if I never have a DD, I can still feel that I'm compensating by giving my sons everything I never had.

I am also worried about when they get older and a DIL comes in the picture, will they then favor her family? Will they take the grandkids to visit her family more often? Will we just stand by the sideline? All this worries me...

Luckily I really hate pink frilly dresses and plan on dressing any future DD's in my boys baby clothes :giggle:

[sbowman]

I'm hoping for a girl. I'm no psychiatrist but I suspect it has something to do with a couple of very personal, traumatic experiences in my early childhood that have to do with men (including my father). I love my little boy more than anything, but I have to say I never pictured myself with boys. I always wanted to be a "girl mom." I also never had a close relationship with my own mother...we spent more time fighting than anything. I really long for that close mother-daughter relationship that I never experienced. And lastly, both my mom and DH's mom had boy/girl/boy/girl children, so I just assumed that, this being my second child, it would be a girl. But alas, it's another boy. We'll try one more time, although the when is uncertain. Hoping the third time's the charm for me.

[Satox3]

Wonderful thread! although as I read through it, I noticed there were only a handful of replies for wanting sons. I am hoping to sway pink, and my reasons are not much different than any of the previously posted. I desire the frill, fun, future bond. So I will post my thoughts on my previous pregnancy. Prior to finding out the gender, my mother asked me "do you want it to be a boy or girl?" Of course I just wanted it to be healthy, and that would've been my stock answer to anyone else who asked. However, as I was talking to my mom, I could be completely open and honest. I though about it for a moment and decided that I wanted a boy. I wanted a baby boy to dress up in argyle and plaid galor. haha I wanted a sweet little boy, whod grow up with the curiosity and energy that only little boys have. I wanted a boy who would litter my home with sports gear and trophies, that daddy could be proud of and i could spend my days cleaning up. I wanted a young man to grow up and become strong and independent like his father, yet understanding and loving like his mother. ;) I wanted a strong family man, with strong values and morals, that I could be proud to call my son. I had a difficult road with my first pregnancy and I knew it could be my first and last, when I delivered a healthy baby boy, I was over the moon. I had gotten anything and everything I could ever hope for. I can't wait to see my dreams of him, for him, to come true as he grows.

[wildwooddays]

For me it wasn't about having a girl, it was about having both genders. If I had two girls I'd want just as desperately to have a boy right now.

[BZ88]

Having to experience both genders is a blessing to realize things about the opposite gender to have an appreciation for them and know my DH better.

[SassyMamma]

Because she is an ache in my heart and soul that I can not make go away.

[mt9178]

That is a great and hard question to answer. I don't have one solid reason, just that a part of me will always long to have a daughter. I love to do the "traditional" woman things, cook, craft, sew, makeup etc and always thought that I would have someone to share and do these things with. I look at my husband with our boys and feel jealous of his connection with them, and pray one day to have the same.

[monkeysnuffer]

I've had my little girl in my heart since I was a little girl myself.

I wore tons of dresses and refused to wear pants to school until the 6th grade! I loved my Barbie dolls and even those porcelain doll babies, and loved to dress my dolls in ball gowns and have 'beauty pagents' with them...but then I played Atari with my older brother for so many hours...and during 11th grade, I beat my Homecoming date at Mortal Kombat 2, since I had gotten so good playing it with my brother. So I had a great balanced childhood as far as indulging and learning about boy things (from my brother) but still wearing the dresses, having the princess fantasies, etc. (I loved Disney as a kid, you know, all that stuff...)

So I always felt so deeply in my bones that I would have girl(s) that having boys was a shock to my system. I just had this quiet knowledge about myself, so when I had my second son, I started to doubt that vision, and then I started to question myself: why did I really have to have this GIRL anyway? What about having a girl would complete me?

This question still strikes at me, even now that I am having my desired gender.

Of course i would be lying if I said I wasn't going to totally enjoy the girly stuff: the cute dresses, ruffles, the extra attention to cute little details that are in girl clothes. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't looking forward to brushing her hair, and us having a mommy-daughter mani thing going once in a while. But mostly, I really desire a raise a strong female.

I have worked super hard to be where I am today. I have a Master's degree that I am very proud of, and despite the fact that I do work, I am super proud that I earn enough that my husband can stay home and watch the kids. I love the role reversal, and love the fact that my husband gets to show our boys that men can cook and clean too, that everyone can pitch in for the family, it doesn't always have the mother doing the cooking.

So my dreams for my desired gender is I want to raise an informed, educated young woman, and I hope she'll love reading, too. I hope we can spend hours together discussing books in the future, and that I can help her with boy problems, etc. I just really, really want to experience the mother-daughter bond, as complicated as it can be.

For my sons, who bless their heart, are so lovely and sweet and so unexpectantly what I NEEDED, I want to raise them to be strong men who are caring and intuned with what females need/want. I want my sons to be free to be them, not to be constrained by male stereotypes. My oldest son and I make dessert all the time, and I love watching him mix the ingredients together, I love how he's become my helper in the kitchen when it's my turn to cook (weekends.) I love how he tells me I'm his very best friend.

IDK if it's the pregnancy hormones or what, but I am sitting here bawling reading this. I sometimes wonder what was the pull of a girl for me, even though I am now having one.

I only found out two days ago and my DS went along to watch the ultrasound. Afterward, I went to the chapel in the hospital to say thank you. My son followed me in and I saw him staring at the cross. I hear him praying "thanks for making mommy happy" and for some reason that made me sad.

Why weren't boys enough for me? Why I did spend so many years longing for a daughter? I may never understand.

[3littleladies]

I guess its because I know how much I wanted a daughter so Im sure deep down my dh would want a father-son relationship even though he says he doesn't care.

Well with myself I really wanted my 3rd to be a boy only because I'd love to know what it would be like raising a son, doing boy stuff you know?

[aidansmum]

To me it's about experiencing motherhood being a little girl's mum. I know how close my mum and I are and I would like to share the same kind of connection with a daughter. I am not saying boys are not close to their mothers, I think they are sometimes even more affectionate towards their mum than girls are, but I feel that a mother-daughter relationship is a different one, and I also want to experience that, as I already know how fantastic it is to have a wonderful relationship with a son. I know in my heart I will not suffer from GD even if I have another boy, as I truly cherished every moment with my 3 boys and I have already come to terms with the fact that I may never have a girl as this is my last try, BUT I would just like to experience motherhood with a girl, I am an expert in raising boys and would like to try something different this time :) But will not be terribly upset if I don't get my dream gender either.

[hoping4agirl2014]

I have always dreamed of having a little girl. I love each of my boys more then I could have ever imagined but there is still that part of me that feels as if my family is not yet complete.

Maybe it is because there is a part of me that wants the mother/daughter relationship that I always wanted with my mom. I accept the relationship that my mother and I share now but would love to enjoy it with my own daughter. It isn't just the dresses and the girly stuff because I am sure with four brothers she will be a tom-boy herself but I know that is some of it. I would love to empower her with the importance of being a strong female through her thinking and the things she does. I would also love to see my husband with a little girl. He loves his boys to pieces but I have seen him with our nieces and can just imagine him with his own daughter.

I pray that the higher power will see it fit to send us a girl this time because this is our last one.

[Buttercup]

I have 5 beautiful boys. I got pregnant for the 6th time and my darling first daughter was stillborn at 24.5 weeks :-( I conceived again 8 weeks later and long for a princess (there's not been one apart from my daughter since me)
Thinking this is another boy though. So long as its born screaming I'm ok but I still dream of a daughter

[HopefulMonster]

I want two girls! I have a brother and we aren't close, it's like the only thing we have in common is being related. Every women I know with sisters are close, they phone just to chat, go shopping, go on days out etc. of course I know that you can get personality clashes where siblings just don't get on but I think its fairly rare to flat out have zero relationship with a sister its either love or hate where as it's so much harder to keep close with a brother, i love mine but we are basically just strangers if that makes sense. I literally know no one who has a close relationship with their brother into adulthood. Soooo just to ask for the moon, I want a daughter for myself, and then a sister for my daughter!

[lemonmeringue]

My mother and I had a difficult relationship when she split up with my dad and consequently we weren't close for about 10 years. I feel like I missed out so I'd like a close mother/daughter bond with my own child. I also want to give my partner a devoted daddy's girl, like I was. That's it really. I feel like I connect better with girls as I'm a girly girl myself.

My gender scan is actually tomorrow, guesses on my scan would be appreciated. x

[Jaxen13]

I sit and wrack my brains everyday wondering what the reasons are for wanting a girl, I have two boys who are my world, I can't think if anything they don't give me apart from pink! I fear it's other people's input that makes me feel like I need a girl! X

[dreaminginblue]

I see it's been a wee while since anyone posted but I want to put my dream out there.
I did not want children. The thought of being responsible for someone else for at least 18 years scared me and I definitely did not want girls. I have 9 siblings; 6 sisters (inc. a set of twins) & 3 brothers (oldest, middle & youngest). Those of us who have gone on to have children have produced 8 girls and 1 boy so far. 3 siblings are currently pregnant and 1 is having her 2nd girl.
The odds were stacked against us to begin with but I had a dream of having boy-girl-boy, none of which I wanted to have August or December birthdays due to the school year cut off and December being all about the 25th.
I was convinced my DD1 was a boy and had boys names and refused to even think of girls names or look at clothes till the 20 week scan. We were having a girl due 15th August. I had GD for a few days and was in shock for the first. I came round to her being a girl when hubby picked out her name; I'm rubbish with girls names.
2nd time round, I had been looking at gender swaying and was hoping to ntnp for 3 months but the moment took us on our anniversary:oops: and although we dtd on my o'day, 20 week scan confirmed another girl due 18th December. I did feel different this time, not sick but nauseous and some days it felt like I wasn't pregnant with no symptoms or hunger. I hoped for a boy but as we didn't change anything prior to conception, I made peace with baby being most likely a girl. During that 20wk scan and before we asked about G, baby wouldn't empty their bladder and we seemed to hold our collective breath waiting for it. Luckily baby did and by then we didn't care because she was going to be healthy. I was dismayed by well meaning comments of 'maybe next time' or 'they might have it wrong', and was very protective of her when she was born.
Both my girls were delivered by c-section and big babies with 2nd weighing 10lb 6oz. 2nd was an elective so I think this will probably be our last chance to at least try.
I yearn to give DH a son and my girls the baby brother they ask for. As for me, I've always loved baby boys and I'd love the chance to buy boy stuff for a boy, DD1 is a tomboy like me so has a few boy clothes and toys but its not the same. I just want to know what its like to parent both sexes and complete our family. If it were to be another girl and we'd given the sway a very shot then I'd know we destined to be a daughter household but I wouldn't feel like we were done and would want to try again and I'm not sure I could cope with 4 girls!!!
My friends have come out of a baby boom which consisted of mostly boys with 2 not wanting to share with me as they both had had girls first in same year I'd had DD1 and thought I'd be jealous or upset, I'm more gutted I can't help them or visit due to distance.
In conclusion I just want to have my boy, stop having babies and help, enjoy and watch them all grow.
Though if I succeed in swaying for one boy, I might wonder about swaying for another - sshhhh!

Thanks for reading

[Brinny]

I know the feeling. I didn't really want kids, but once I had my first, I was addicted lol
I had a boy first, so I then felt that a little girl would be great second time around, or at least somewhere in the mix.......
I now have 3 boys, 4.5yo, 2.5yo and 1yo. My sister has girl, boy, girl......

My partner had the snip, so I am unable to sway, although I'm not sure I would risk swaying.

So I am planning to head to Thailand or US for IVF/PGD to select a female to be transferred in late 2014, early 2015 :)

Can't wait to have a baby girl :)


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[lisvna]

My husband and I always wanted 3 kids. He wanted at least a girl. I wanted at least a boy. We both wanted a mixed family. After our first I had such a hard time that I wasn't sure if we wanted still 3. That's the reason why we went HT. we wanted a mixed family. After transferring boys and girls (ht was a hard road and we weren't sure we could get pregnant at all) we did get another boy. Its was such an easy delivery and such an easy child that we decided to go ahead with trying for a mixed family. I hope we will get there once......

[Fiorefleur]

After our oldest was born I couldn't imagine having another one.

20 months later I had finally given away all of her baby items...then my period was late. I wasn't pregnant but it made us realize we weren't finished.

Dd2 is 7 months young now, we just lost a surprise baby early in the pregnancy...and after seeing our brand new twin nieces...we got baby fever again.

We're hoping to sway for a boy ! I want to be finished by the time I'm 30 next year..hopefully it'll happen.

[Boysway]

As a child growing up in a one child family for most of the time (I have a step-brother that I saw every 2nd weekend). I always wanted 4 kids. I decided I would have a boy first, his name would be Jordan. After my boy, I wanted a girl. I didn't care what gender I got after that.

I fell pregnant with my first child at 17. For months we called my belly Jordan. When we found out we were having a girl, I cried. I was happy she was healthy but, all I wanted was my boy. Thankfully I got used to the idea, I was beyond excited once she came along and wanted another baby right away, lol. I fell pregnant when my eldest was 3 months old. Sadly, that little once wasn't to be and I often wonder if that was my boy. Then came along DD#2 and DD#3 and DD#4. Each time I have had another bub, I have had gender disappointment. In fact up until recently I had forgotten just how much it had an affect on me till I re-read my mothers group post from when I found out we had another girl on the way. I almost sounded distraught knowing I had another girl coming. I do have a nephew and some baby boy second cousins but, it's just not the same,

I just want a little boy to buy cute clothes for, spike his hair up. I can't explain it, I just want my little boy!

ETA: I love my girls to bits, I wouldn't change them for the world.

[motherofboys]

I don't really understand my desire for a girl.
I only have brothers and was a complete tom boy as a child. Although I did beg my mum on several occasions for a little sister. I never wore skirts and dresses, even now at 27 I feel uncomfortable in a skirt and don't know how to do cute girly hair styles.
My dad wasn't around and my step dad was abusive to me. It was drummed into me from a young age (he was around since I was 2 years old) that boys were superior to girls, girls were only good for one thing. For a long time after he began abusing me I wished I was a boy. Then I began wishing I had had older brothers, instead of younger brothers, so I could have been protected rather than the protector. My mother and I have an awful relationship.
I didn't want marriage or kids. When I finally met a man who I trusted and suddenly over night went from wanting no kids to loads, I wanted boys, boys were better, boys were stronger, people didn't abuse boys, but I assumed we'd get a mix. I hoped I had a boy first. Preferably 2 boys first.
So I got my boy, then I got my 2nd boy. Then, oh joy, I got a 3rd boy! My little girl, when she came along was going to be so well protected. I got excited to have a girl, and my best friend had had a daughter around the same time my 3rd arrived. I'd stood in the pink section dreaming of how one day I'd hold my little girl. I started to picture her and imagine what we'd do together. I actually wanted a girl now. The pretty dresses and different range of toys certainly made it seem more appealing too.
We began ttc, and 2 and a half years later I finally got my bfp. This had to be my girl. I wanted her enough and it took so long to conceive that I had to have a girl to make the long wait 'worth it'.
I obviously got a 4th boy, and so here I am.
When I think about it though, aside from doing all those girly things, shopping trips and girly DVDs and buying the pretty frilly clothes, I don't have a fantastic reason or a life long dream for a girl. I don't understand it, I just know my heart aches for her.


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[Fiorefleur]

I never explained why. Wow. Go me . Ha !

I love having my girls and kind of scared of little boys . Lol But a part of me just can't let it go, somehow I want a boy . For my husband I reckon. Plus, there's only 1 grandson out of 6 grand kids on J's side. There's a little competition going on for that. Haha ! His brother tried for 1 more boy and got twin girls...psh !! :-p

Also our 3 year old says she wants a brother ..the other day she picked up my mom'a phone and told the person on the other line that we were going to have a boy . Hahaha. Not right now sweet thing . ;-)


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