How Long Have Your Children Stayed In YOUR Bed?

[BoyDreaming]

DD1 turns 6 in April... And she's still in our bed.
DD2 turns 4 in March... And she's still in our bed.
DD3 is almost 16 months... And she's still in our bed.

Did I mention we have one on the way too?! :sigh: I'm not sure how to go about getting them out of our bed. I do love sleeping with them, but I can only fit so many in my bed. Due to this sleeping arrangement, DH has become accustomed to sleeping on the couch. Spouses sleeping separately do impact a marriage at some point and that causes a lot of strain, especially since I'm getting to the point I can't get up and down at night without waking DD3 and having to get her back to sleep. Usually I end up with DD2 and DD3 in bed with me. DD1 sleeps on the loveseat so she's "next" to her daddy. They all have their own rooms, complete with bedroom suites. How can I encourage them to sleep there, though? We recently put a TV in DD1's room to try to get her to sleep there, but she keeps finding more and more excuses. I'm at a loss.

[atomic sagebrush]

Yes, I hear ya! With my older two, my husband worked at night so it was no biggie that they were in my bed until 6, they started to want to sleep on their own at around that age. With my little two, DH still works at night but he has weekends off and he usually ends up sleeping in the recliner because there's not enough room :(

Would it be easier for your two older DDs to share a room? Would they think that was fun or less scary? Almost like a slumber party??

[BoyDreaming]

We've toyed with that idea with the older two. They won't go for it.

Since DH has gotten so accustomed to sleeping on the couch he's no longer comfortable in our bed. =(

[atomic sagebrush]

Well, hang in there! I don't have any other tips but mine DID want to sleep in their own rooms just all of a sudden around 6. I hope it works out painlessly!!

[Melpomene]

My oldest slept in our bed until six.
We decorated his room with a mural put up a cool bunk bed. We moved his little brother in there with him and he was out of our bed! Woo hoo!

[Coccinelle33]

my husband either sleeps on the couch or the older boys room. they have an extra bed. all of our kids have slept with us the first 2-3 years. right now the baby is in bed with me and the 2 year old is on the floor next to my bed on his toddler bed.

[Lillylolly]

16 months here - then we switched rooms so that DS was still in the same room :)

[Yuzu]

My niece just recently announced to my sister that she wants to sleep in her own bed. She is three.

Maybe you could let each child pick out a new sheet set, whatever they wanted? Make a big deal out of it. Maybe that will encourage the kids to sleep in their own bed?

[nuthinbutpink]

I have to say I am shocked that you guys have your kids in your beds with you! I didn't know people did that honestly....I guess I have been under a rock for some time.

We have strict rules about bedtime in our home. I kept the babies in a bassinet in our room for a few months(2-3) and when they went to getting up just once a night, moved them to a crib in their own room.

I just don't want them to take over everything in the house including my bedroom! They have their toys, etc all over the house but my bedroom is mine and not theirs.

To help ease them out of a crib I did let them pick out a cute comforter and that seemed to help get them in their own bed because they were excited about a big girl room.

DH pays the bills so I can't imagine him having to sleep on the sofa but whatever works, works I guess!!

ETA- I do let them sleep with us when they are sick.

[atomic sagebrush]

I wasn't going to co-sleep with the little boys but he insisted on it! Part of why it works for us is due to our small house and weird schedule - DH comes home from work at 3 and 4 am and the babies would have to sleep in the living room if they didn't sleep with me so every time he came home he would wake them up. Throw in two teenagers who come and go at odd hours and it's just easier for everyone involved to do things this way.

[purplepoet20]

We hold our boys on the couch in front of the tv (cooking or history channel) when they fall asleep we put them in theri beds... 13mth old in my room but in crib most of the night. For us this works for now but in when the new baby comes the 2 boys will share a room for a little while.

My neighbor who has a 10 and 5 year old found it easier to keep them in the same room until just recently. Some kids are afraid to be alone and having a parent or a sibling nearby is comforting.

Your kids are young enough to have 1 joined "sleepingroom" with just the beds, then have a dressingroom and playroom... at about 7-9 the older one will want her own room and the rest will soon follow.

[queen-of-harts]

My 5 older kids only slept wit is for a few weeks then went to the bassinet and at 4/5 months into the crib,my current baby is 10 months and has never slept anyplace other than our bed,i equally love and hate it so im aiming for him to start napping in his own room by a year and then have him go to sleep with us at night and then transfer him to his crib.Fingers crossed on that one but my marriage is important and i miss sleeping close with hubby and ds wakes up when i get out of bed....so annoying.

[Flava]

They don't sleep in our bed. We did slept we the baby in 1 room for a couple months. And when I was very sleepy I did BF in the bed and we fall asleep. But that's it. She sleep in a room alone and she only fall asleep in there in her crib.
I guess if they are big enough to remember then they don't want to leave your place anymore or so...
Other thing is I do not fall asleep easy and I just can't sleep good with them at all.

[Betty Draper]

I have hopes that the two DSs will decide that they can handle the night in their room when the twins arrive. I can get the four year old to mostly stay in his bed, but the two year old just walks around till he finds someone. If he can't find us, he jumps in DS 1's bed and wakes him up. Right now, b/c I am too big and too nightmarish to sleep next to, DH and DS 2 sleep in my bed, and DS 1 and I sleep in the guest room, soon to be girls' room. Plan once the twins arrive is to put DH on a mattress on the floor of the boys' room and then lock me in our room with the babies in bed with me so I can nurse them both all night long. My MIL will be in the nursery/guest room. Gonna be a circus . . .

[Tiny Dancer]

First of all, yeah to all the other Mamas doing co-sleeping! I enjoy the coziness and the sweetness of snoozing with my 2 DS's. My husband is gone for several nights a week so we all fit nicely in a king size bed. When my DH is home my 6 year old sleeps in his room and moved out when he was 4 and ds2 kept waking him up. Ds2 is still in our bed every night. One of my friends moved a queen size mattress into their room in addition to their king size bed so everyone could be in the same room, maybe that could work. Also I sleep next to my DH to snuggle with him. I also let ds2 fall asleep and then move him to ds1's bed sometimes just to be alone with DH. Sorry for the long response but hope it helps! Good luck.

[mitz0315]

we normally put the boys to sleep in their room. ds1 (3) gets frightened easily, so he ends up in our bed around 3-4am and ds2(18mo) wakes up anywhere between 3-8am and climbs in bed with me. DH works 3hours away so when he is home this is our schedule. when he is away, the boys sleep with me- (in their bed not ours!) :) Now when we relocate and dh will be home every night, that will be a different story;)

[gossie]

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[NYFamilyOfFiveRoses]

My one year old little girl sleeps in her crib, but it is in our room. I have to think about moving it to the bedroom that my middle daughter sleeps in. But it works out because she makes some noise for a while and then goes to sleep so it would keep my middle daughter up also if she is not sleeping yet. So I guess in a way you can say the baby sleeps on her own even though she is in our room. She falls asleep in that crib. With DD1 she would scream her head off in that crib and then I put her in the bed. My younger 2 thank goodness do sleep on their own. It may take a while for them to get to sleep but they do it. DD1 forget it.

We only have 2 bedrooms. Having 3 girls makes it a little easier for now.

My middle daughter sleeps on her own and her crib was moved into her bedroom at a very young age, but we had the room with only 2 at the time also.

Now my 8 year old guess what still sleeps with us. She is the very tough one. I am almost embarrassed to admit this. I do not tell many people this. She is fearful of monsters and things and she knows her younger sister sleeps on her own but she does not care. We talk and talk to her. She one day I think will let go and do it.

So the only real problem I have is with my 8 year old. The baby moving to another floor with her sister I think will be fine.

If and when HT ever worked out, I would move my 3 girls to our bedroom which is big let them share it and keep the new baby with me and DH (which is the kids room now). This is just talk.

[b3blue]

We transitioned by now almost 4 year old from our bed at 23 months when I was about 2 months pregnant. I wanted to have ample time for her to be used to her own bed before the new baby arrived so she wouldn't feel displaced. She was recently nightweaned at 18 months and had been sleeping through the night really well (finally!). So we set up a routine and it was a really tough few weeks but we finally did it and she's a great sleeper now in her own bed. She's more than welcome to come into our bed if she's scared or anything. DD2 is 15 months and we'll follow generally the same pattern. I think it will be even easier for her as she'll have big sister in the room with her. FX! I can't have more than one kidlet in the bed and get any sleep. Every time we travel I'm a zombie lol.

[Aqua]

You must have a huge bed :) . DD slept in our bed until 3. Althought this time around we are putting the new baby in the crib, but anytime he wants the comfort of his parents we won't stop it.

We decorated her room and everything, she loves garden and flowers, so we made that the theme of the room and also let her help us with the decoration like sticking the wall decals etc. It took a little patience in the beginning to get her to sleep there. It was some effort from both of us. After her daddy told her stories, she asked for me to sing her songs...lol. So we did whatever it takes. No TV and all. We have very strict only 30 mins a wk-day TV rule for her. She still occasionally (1-2 times a month) climbs in with us in the middle of the night though. She is 6.

Try selling their rooms to them, maybe they want to sleep together, so start with making all of them sleep in one room together, so no one is left and say daddy needs to sleep in his room as his back hurts or something like that.

[DoulaMama]

My one year old little girl sleeps in her crib, but it is in our room. I have to think about moving it to the bedroom that my middle daughter sleeps in. But it works out because she makes some noise for a while and then goes to sleep so it would keep my middle daughter up also if she is not sleeping yet. So I guess in a way you can say the baby sleeps on her own even though she is in our room. She falls asleep in that crib. With DD1 she would scream her head off in that crib and then I put her in the bed. My younger 2 thank goodness do sleep on their own. It may take a while for them to get to sleep but they do it. DD1 forget it.

We only have 2 bedrooms. Having 3 girls makes it a little easier for now.

My middle daughter sleeps on her own and her crib was moved into her bedroom at a very young age, but we had the room with only 2 at the time also.

Now my 8 year old guess what still sleeps with us. She is the very tough one. I am almost embarrassed to admit this. I do not tell many people this. She is fearful of monsters and things and she knows her younger sister sleeps on her own but she does not care. We talk and talk to her. She one day I think will let go and do it.

So the only real problem I have is with my 8 year old. The baby moving to another floor with her sister I think will be fine.

If and when HT ever worked out, I would move my 3 girls to our bedroom which is big let them share it and keep the new baby with me and DH (which is the kids room now). This is just talk.

Don't be embarrassed Mama (((HUGS))) Our 3yo sounds a lot like your oldest and we do the same as you(and will continue until he doesn't need us to). They won't be little forever and she will always remember you being there for her. Parenting doesn't stop when the sun goes down:). It's nice to hear about all the bed sharing mama's out there:) Makes me feel right at home here! LOL

[Mommabee]

My oldest transitioned to his own bed around 3 1/2 but he still sleeps with us occasionally and he's 5 now. My youngest is only 2 months but we'll probably transition around 2 this time. My oldest keeps bugging me about when they can finally share a room...lol! My mom bed shared with all of us kids and my baby brother (the youngest) slept with her up until he was about 9 years old. =)

[Wishing4Princess]

My 3.5 and 2 yr old were always in the same room as us, from birth until last week, they started sharing room. it was ok for 2 nights..dad would sleep next to them until they fell asleep then sneak back into our room. oldest one will wake up some nights and asks one of us to sleep next to him...so we just connected the boys mattresses (full mattress, never bought bed or box). they both sleep fine.

I figured it's ok since they are still little and they are both boys. Plus it's here in the U.S that I hear parents separating their kids from themselves early on. in other countries, and where DH and I grew up, we all slept in one room w/ mattresses all connected together (sometimes 5 people in a room). we turned out fine and are independent individuals.

[jens0972]

My 3 yr old ds is still in our bed. He goes to sleep in his own bed but I actually move him to our bed later because he flips out if he wakes up alone his room. We may be working on it soon though. Kinda makes me sad because I like him near us at night.

[Ribbons]

DS1 never slept with me. From the moment he came home from the hospital, he was in a crib, in a separate room.

DS2 has never slept in a crib - we never even owned one! He's always slept with me, and still nurses to sleep, although he's sloooowly weaning now. I doubt he'll be out of the bed anytime soon. He has his own toddler bed next to the king bed but refuses to sleep on it (he has to snuggle up close to me or he won't sleep). I don't mind any of this b/c DH is out of town on business much of the time and it's comforting.

We are buying a side-car bassinet for the new one - we'll see how it works out!

[motherofboys]

Ds1 was 14 months although he'd start out the night in his cot and then come into our bed when he woke up.
Ds2 was 6 months. We had lots of problems with him sleeping at all and I had depression and I couldn't take it one night and stuck him in the cot which was still set up as ds1 was only just transferring from cot to bed, and he settled straight down. After that I put him down alone and he was happy that way. (Although now his older he likes company at bed time lol)
Ds3 bed-shared until 17 months, he went straight to a big boy bed and then I'd get into his bed to nurse at night. When we stopped nursing at almost 3 years he started sleeping through for a few months. Now his 4 he wakes at night about 60-70% of the time and will climb in with us.
We now have ds4 in with us, although the cot is set up in the hopes of him starting the night in there so I get some hands free time lol


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[WillowsGirl]

Both of them still do at times. My oldest usually sleeps all night, or some nights he will wake up and come to our bed. He will be five in October. My youngest sleeps with us pretty much all the time. We bough a King size bed and just roll with it. My parents never let me share their bed as a child and it always made me sad, especially if I had nightmares (which I did frequently). they are welcome to sleep with us whenever they like.

[odd]

My 4 yr old was do ii ng really well mm sleeping on his.own from when he was a baby until abt few months ago when we moved to a nee state, home etc..

He gets soo panicky at night time and refuses to sleep in his room. I've been letting hom sleep in iur room for now. We r planming on getting him a big boy bed so hopefully that'll encourage him

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[SamS_TTCPink]

Our 3 yr old comes into our bed during the night occasionally and our youngest sleeps in his cot in our room still and also will sometimes want to come in our bed if he wakes up in the night. We tried to get him to sleep in a "big bed" in a room with his brother but he is not interested at all at the moment.

Our youngest never slept in our bed as I was pushed to use "controlled crying" and lectured to never let him in our bed (now he is the child less close to us??!?) but the others were all in our room in their cots and have always been bought into our beds when I was feeding them or if they woke up thru the night. My opinion is they're only little once, they're not going to want to come into our bed forever and I love them snuggling up to me, and they obviously need that sometimes.

We do need to try to get DS6 out of the cot in our room in the coming months though, before I do have another baby.

I was also never allowed in my parents bed.


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[PrimalMamma]

With DS1 I did up the nursery & couldn't imagine having a child in my bed.... At 15 months, after months & months of sleepless nights, antidepressants & misery I gave in, placed him in our bed & we all slept. I could have punched myself for being so stubborn. We set up a "big boy" room when he was 18 months old (I was PG with DS2) & he would go down in there but come into us in the night. Once DS2 was born my husband spent half the night in our bed & half in with DS1. We had a crib next to our bed for DS2 but as soon as he woke I would put him into our bed. We set up a reward chart for DS1 with "sleeping all night without Daddy" on it & slowly he got more & more stickers on it. DS1 is now 5 & DS2 is nearly 3. They share a bedroom but DS2 wanders into us at about 5am-ish for a breastfeed & snuggles down between us for a snooze. I absolutely love co-sleeping & will absolutely co-sleep with any more babies with whom me are blessed.


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[ever hopeful]

Wow, I'm very impressed how you all manage to function with your little ones in bed with you for such a long time.

[WantingPink]

My kids are put to bed in their own beds however, when DH is gone (about 1/2 the month) they crawl into my bed in the middle of the night. DD still is in a bassinet next to our bed since she is a binky baby and will wake the whole house about twice a night if she can't find it.

When DH is home they know they get kicked out:) We have a couch in our room so they will sneak on there in the middle of the night if they want to be closer to us but they know that when DH is in the bed they need to stay out of the bed.