The big question...to find out gender or not??

[NCBeachyGrl]

OK...I'm not even pregnant yet and I am already thinking about this every day! Should we find out gender or have a delivery room surprise?

In one sense, I want to know if I get pg with a girl so I can buy, buy, buy all the pink cutsie stuff I have only dreamed of. In the other sense, I worry that if it is another boy I will get sad. And, I worry more about what DH will say. I feel like I will need to hide my disappointment from him b/c he doesn't fully get it.

I really do love the idea of that excitement in the delivery room...I will love our baby so much and look forward to meeting them so much. If I don't know gender, I can really get to know the baby without worrying about stupid GD. BUT, if we decide to wait to find out, I will have to buy pink and blue and return one of the stacks of clothes/items. I don't know if I could make myself actually buy pink out of fear or disappointment.

Thoughts? Team green....tell me about your experiences!!!

[skrimpy]

I'm in the same boat right now, except being currently preggers and trying to decide before our big scan.

I know that for me I struggled with really bad GD last time that totally melted away when I held my baby girl in my arms. I keep wishing I just hadn't known and had enjoyed my pregnancy then felt that joy as soon as I met my baby. So now I am thinking I really want to stay Team Green. I'm having a great pregnancy and don't even want to really risk GD when I know I'll love my baby whomever he or she is.

Going out and buying lots of blue would be fab, but I don't think it would outweigh knowing the GD that would come from hearing "girl" instead of "boy." So right now I'm leaning Team Green and that's why, at least for me. It's hard to decide though, because part of me is dying to know and I stalk the u/s forum lol.

Always a great thread topic!

[coocoobananas]

I'm going from previous experience. Of course I thought I would get a girl for number 2. I cried coming out of the u/s and I couldn't help feeling dissaponted and that made me feel guilty. I hated my mixed emotions of being sad and then feeling guilty that I even felt that way, my poor baby like he wasn't what I wanted! So, since I know I'm not good at that and since I know I didn't care in the delivery room that he didn't have a vajayjay I'm hoping that I will be over it! I've got to be and that's it.
What I haven't decided is my way of thinking during my pregnancy. Do I convince myself its a boy so there is no disappointment? Or try to enjoy wondering and the what ifs as its the last time!?

[NCBeachyGrl]

I am really wanting to NOT find out, even more so now after reading your posts!

I really feel like that is what makes pregnancy so exciting...the waiting to meet your sweet baby and the excitement of the gender. When you have a 20 week ultrasound and get the confirmation, there is no more guessing or dreaming, it is just another 20 weeks of waiting. I want to keep that wondering and dreaming going. Although I do want to be realistic. I think I will go into this that we have a 95% chance of getting a boy and ALWAYS stay grounded. It will be very hard though!!

What are you guys going to do about nub shots? Are you going to get them and post or just try to forget about them?

[BeadinMom]

If I can, I will definitely be getting nub shots, and I will totally obsess over it, but I won't be finding out sex beforehand - for the same reason these ladies have said. Last time we asked the tech to write it down and seal it in an envelope, and I MIGHT do that again, but I'll have to think hard about it, because I know how I am and last time we were in the parking garage when we opened the envelope. LOL.

[coocoobananas]

Not sure for me. I actually have my 1st dating u/s tomorrow so not sure if I'll even get pictures. We don't get to know gender anymore in Canada do I have a feeling they'll be avoiding even that area at this point!! I kinda want to post it but kinda don't as I don't want to get my hopes up if people say girly or get worried if people don't lol!!

[BeadinMom]

Wow Coocoo...I can't believe they don't tell you guys gender in Canada anymore. I had no idea. My ob-gyn and a lot of the ones around here stopped giving tapes of ultrasounds for fear of lawsuits, but they still tell you gender.

[mummypink]

This is something I'm unsure about too, I found out with both of my boys so far so it would be nice to have a pregnancy where the babies gender was a surprise. BUT as much as I know I will feel disappointed at a scan if and when I was told we were having another boy I know it won't last long and I will have time to prepare, buy some new gorgeous boy things, plan his name and bond with him before he arrives.
My worry is that if I didn't find out and they announced I had another boy as I delivered him that I would still feel a slight pang of 'oh, it isn't a girl'. I know that sounds awful, and I don't mean I won't love him to pieces because of course I will otherwise I wouldn't even be ttc, but I know I will still feel sad knowing that I will never have a daughter. Does that make sense?

Having said that I am also scared that I would be told girl at the scan and then give birth to a boy after going crazy with pink! A friend of mine who had 3 boys before her princess arrived went and had a 3d scan just to be absolutely certain.

I hope either they can't see at the scan so I simply won't know until the baby is born, or they can tell me 100% for definite and it is really clear.

Of course I also have to get pregnant first!!! :rofl:

[auroara78]

From the other side of things, I did find it very disappointing DS2 was a boy at the 20 week ultrasound. However, I felt the last 20 weeks was GREAT for me to get used to the idea, pick out a name for him, stay rooted in reality, vs. fantasy, because sometimes my fantasies get the best of me and I daydream a little TOO good.

I think for me knowing the sex beforehand helps me identify with the baby more; I get a better visual picture of what I think he/she will look like, and I spent the first 20 weeks dreaming back and forth about boy / girl, but then once I find out, I have the last 20 weeks to really prepare, get a visual idea of what he/she may be like, then I get to enjoy the shower (my family is crazy, they keep throwing me showers, but it's just family only and it's small excuse for get-togethers!) and just get a name together.

I have always feared (since I have a strong girl preference before I even had my 1st son) that if I had waited and was told boy in the delivery room that I'd have a moment of hesistation, or disappointment, and I don't know this for a fact, since I've never had delivery room surprise, but something about not feeling over 200% joyous over bub's birth has always scared me off being Team Green, because at the moment where they hand me a precious baby, I want to be ALL into the moment, and not have even a trace of 'what if...', I want to love on that baby asap!

[auroara78]

Oh, on the plus side, if you do find out and hear it's a girl, it's pretty amazing to tell everyone 'I'm having a girl' once they ask!! What drove me crazy before I found out if I was out and about with my boys was that people seemed so certain that I'd have another boy just because I already had two, and having confirmation that it's a girl feels so great just to say it back to them, 'no it's a girl!' I cannot express how good that felt, and still feels, when it happens....Plus I was able to look and browse and look at baby girl stuff till my heart's content, which you can do once you have the baby, but it's almost more fun to look at the stuff and try to picture what your baby girl may look like in it....

because let's face it, no matter the gender, newborns are a lot of work!

[Mum23boys]

DONT DO IT !!!! If you find out and are dissaponted it will ruin the rest of your pregnancy and will upset you soooo much and may interfere with the bonding for the baby whereas when the baby is born in your arms and its a surprise if its the sex u want want an amazing moment and if it isnt then so what - as we all know once the baby is in your arms you wont care !
The buying isnt that important really is it in the grand scheme of thing and just think how much fun you will have taking your son or daughter hopping after the birth when you feel up to it :-) a few white yellow or green bits and maybe 1 new ink or blue outift will surfice - im sure friends and family will be there with loads as soon as he / she is born.
I know the wait will be daunting and you will always want to know etc etc but surely the feeling of not knowing is no where near as bad as the dissapointment ...

[Tiffani3]

Oh it's not just me then that constancy thinks about thing like that!
I found out with ds2&3, it really broke my heart with ds3 cause I truly believed that he was a girl (such different pg symptoms) was such a mental thing even to the point that I felt so attractive and beautiful cause I was finally carrying a sweet little girl I tell you I hit the floor hard and spent weeks crying and holding back the tears in front of people! Plus only myself and dh knew which was also hard got comments like "it must be a girl cause you would just tell everyone if it was just another boy" like he didn't matter :( I thought to myself its bad enough that his own mum is feeling like this but I didn't want everyone else to not think in anyway that he wasn't important and us mummy protect our babies even in our tummys! But the moment he was born I couldn't have cared less I love him so much.
But after all that I do think I would find out but not tell anyone again (apart for you ladies!) because I did have time to get to terms with him being a boy! I suppose I'm to scared to give birth and then feel like I did! If that makes sense

[auroara78]

Another thing to consider too: is your husband willing to stay Team Green? Mine wasn't, and still isn't interested at all in it, and the fact that he'd have to know beforehand kinda killed any interest for me in being team green.

While I was disappointed that DS2 was a boy, once I held him in my arms I truly felt nothing but pure love for him, and I'll never forget that they handed him to me and he was blowing bubbles and looked so adorable with chubby cheeks and old man hair...

OK I will stop posting in this thread now! And just quietly read what others have to say.

[BeadinMom]

I think it depends on how you usually handle things.

For me, we found out with all 3...it took away the excitement and fun. If it's a girl, it will still be a girl when she gets here and if it's a boy, I will be holding him in my arms when he gets here and looking into his sweet eyes and nothing else in this world will matter. I kind of like holding my family hostage, too....LOL...its my 4th pregnancy, so it's a lot less exciting.

This time I will be focusing on the health of the baby and enjoying every single second of my pregnancy. I absolutely love being pregnant. I never get morning sickness and feeling the baby move is one of the sweetest things in life. It makes everything we endure as women tolerable to me...just to feel that little life inside. :)

[BeadinMom]

BUT...I do understand how some people might want to prepare themselves.

I don't think there's a right or wrong way of handling things.

[NCBeachyGrl]

My husband is willing to stay team green...which makes it harder! I just don't know what to do! I guess I will know better when the time comes and I actually am pg.

I really like reading everyone's experiences. One thing we all know and feel = we will love our beautiful babies no matter what!!!

[NCBeachyGrl]

I think it depends on how you usually handle things.

For me, we found out with all 3...it took away the excitement and fun. If it's a girl, it will still be a girl when she gets here and if it's a boy, I will be holding him in my arms when he gets here and looking into his sweet eyes and nothing else in this world will matter. I kind of like holding my family hostage, too....LOL...its my 4th pregnancy, so it's a lot less exciting.

This time I will be focusing on the health of the baby and enjoying every single second of my pregnancy. I absolutely love being pregnant. I never get morning sickness and feeling the baby move is one of the sweetest things in life. It makes everything we endure as women tolerable to me...just to feel that little life inside. :)

This is exactly how I feel. This will be my 3rd pregnancy and lots of the excitement is already gone. We already know the deal about all the baby stuff - and heck it is all in our attic - and it isn't about buying all the latest and cutest things, it will be about getting cheap stuff to last only the short months they need it. I am SO over buying baby bedding and all that stuff so I need some excitement. And like you, I love being pregnant. I love feeling the kicks and when they get the hiccups. It is such a special time!!!!

With DS2, I had a harder pregnancy (2 previous m/c before it stuck), had pretty bad GD and then suffered with the other GD - gestational diabetes. I really struggled from all aspects! So, this pregnancy I just want it to be about the baby and enjoying every minute of it...from TTC and POAS (1,000 of them) to giving birth and holding the baby in my arms.

[BeadinMom]

NC, I really hope I'm pregnant, because your post just made me cry. LOL!!!

[Shellbelle]

This is exactly how I feel. This will be my 3rd pregnancy and lots of the excitement is already gone. We already know the deal about all the baby stuff - and heck it is all in our attic - and it isn't about buying all the latest and cutest things, it will be about getting cheap stuff to last only the short months they need it. I am SO over buying baby bedding and all that stuff so I need some excitement. And like you, I love being pregnant. I love feeling the kicks and when they get the hiccups. It is such a special time!!!!

With DS2, I had a harder pregnancy (2 previous m/c before it stuck), had pretty bad GD and then suffered with the other GD - gestational diabetes. I really struggled from all aspects! So, this pregnancy I just want it to be about the baby and enjoying every minute of it...from TTC and POAS (1,000 of them) to giving birth and holding the baby in my arms.

Oh, this really tugged at my heart and makes me soooooo want that bfp this month!

[NCBeachyGrl]

NC, I really hope I'm pregnant, because your post just made me cry. LOL!!!

I really hope you are pregnant too!!!!!!!!!!!

[BeadinMom]

I really hope you are pregnant too!!!!!!!!!!!

I hope we both are...♥

[auroara78]

OK I said I wasn't going to post anymore on this thread, but that brought tears to my eyes too, NCbeachyGrl, and well I've got pregnancy hormones, so big cheers and hopes that it's good sign BeadinMom!

[Northern_Shutterbug]

I'm really struggling with this too, even though I'm not pregnant!

I wanted to find out with both my boys but hubby wouldn't let me, and I always said that if we had another then we'd find out. He still doesn't want to but I keep thinking that I want that experience of finding out beforehand and if it's a girl getting to buy those girly things.

But then, it was nice giving birth to DS2 and finding out when I lifted him onto my chest.

Argh! Its so difficult!

[Hobbermittens]

I had surprises with my first two kids, and it was great. I found out gender with #3, and GD ruined the last 20 weeks of my pregnancy. I chose not to find out this last time, because if it is another girl, I am better off not knowing until birth.

[coocoobananas]

Well Canada is very indecisive apparently... A friend of mine just found out that they do tell us again since July 1st! Sheesh make up your mind!! Apparently they tell the doctor if you request to know and the doctor will tell you on your next visit?!?

[BeadinMom]

That's crazy...but ya know, not surprising. It just takes one idiot to ruin it for us all!!

[Indira]

I can tell you in a couple of weeks if going team green has been the right thing for us.
My reasoning was that I had to do what is the best in boy-scenario. If it´s a girl it´s going to be a great surprise and I still have years of shopping ahead. I could just completely imagine finding out at 20 weeks it´s another boy, the same experience again, I know friends and relatives wouldn´t have been that excited, the comments, ecc.
So for my final pregnancy I wanted it to be a different experience-we found out with the first two- I want him to be an individual with his own story and not that he is sort of a third copy of the same story.

Plus I think finding out at birth means the gender is only one of many other details, like the birth story, whom he looks alike, color of his hair, seeing little fingers, holding him, relieve of birth being over. When you find out with an ultrasound gender is basically the only information you have in that moment and if you´re inclined to GD you can concentrate on only that for the next 20 weeks, or worse 24/26 weeks.

O and what is also a lot of fun is that people can´t stand you´re not finding out. I´m just happy feeling my baby move inside me whatever gender it is but other people seem to think it is a very important issue.

Having said that, I might be back here in 20 days with terrible GD, who knows.

[Mochagirl]

Well Canada is very indecisive apparently... A friend of mine just found out that they do tell us again since July 1st! Sheesh make up your mind!! Apparently they tell the doctor if you request to know and the doctor will tell you on your next visit?!?

It depends where you are in Canada. Where I live they're still telling people gender, but I've heard more and more u/s clinics are refusing to do it. I know there's talk of banning 'entertainment ultrasounds' (private u/s) here as well, but they still exist at the moment, so that remains a possibility for parents still wanting to know gender.

[Mochagirl]

Oh, and as for finding out gender. I have much admiration for people who can remain Team Green, but I'm far too impatient for that.

We didn't find out gender with my twins, and I will always regret in the first moments after birth feeling a twinge of disappointment when they said 'it's a boy'. I should have been elated that my first son (and 3 minutes later my second son) were being born, and instead I was already starting to worry about whether I'd ever have a daughter.

I did find out with DS3 - my failed IG sway baby - and I'm soooo glad I did. Yes, I was sad, but finding out at 20 weeks gave me lots of time to get used to the idea of another boy. We started calling him by name, bought cute clothes for him, and watched the excitement in our other boys' eyes when we told them they were getting a baby brother. After a week or two I felt much better, and I can genuinely say that by the time he arrived I was excited to meet him.

So for me finding out gender worked best, but it really depends on your personality I think.

[luvncamrin]

I'm still very undecided....I might even find out but not tell anyone other than you ladies!!! I can say it can go 100% both ways....my GD was pretty bad with DD1.....but I think I'm the type of person that needs time to digest the info....so...as much as it hurt to hear girl...that's what I needed...because that was the reality of the situation. On the other hand....I found out really early with DS2 through a 10 week blood test and mulitiple ultrasounds- nub@ 11, 13 and gender @ 15 & 21 weeks. I've never tried a drug in my life (other than the ones prescribed to me after all of my c-sections)...but I assume my feelings after finding out gender with DS2 were as close to trying cocaine as possible! But it lasted through the whole pregnancy...I literally had no worries as soon as I found out gender...it was just bliss!

[fresas]

I personally would find out. Yes, it is romantic and a wonderful surprise to find out at birth, but I personally would need time to process how to deal with GD before the baby is born if my sway didn't go as planned.

I struggle with postpartum depression so dealing with that plus gender disappointment could really make me a huge mess.

I'm also impatient so I want to know these types of things so I can plan accordingly for clothes and such.

[Yuzu]

Well, I found out on all my pregnancies--all four times. Each time I was disappointed. I guess the 3rd time was the worst. I thought I would never get past the sadness! It's not horrible this time, but I've decided to figure out the roots of my GD because if I ever do this again (LOL!) then I've decided to be Team Green. I would love to have a pregnancy where I didn't even think of gender.

Of course, since I'm 44 the chances of my having another baby are slim. My husband would undoubtedly pass out.:holysheep:

[BeadinMom]

Yuzu, you are awesome. :)

[Yuzu]

Oh, BeadinMom! Thank you so much! So are you!:bigsmile:

[hotdogz&boyz]

Very interesting thread. I am on the fence on this one too. We are waiting to see if we get a BFP this month. And if we did...I will have to make up my mind on being Team Green. I am absolutely wanting a Team Green baby at some point, since I want that experience. And I had some GD with my last son, although it was short-lived. I don't want to have even a moments hesitation in the delivery room. But I love the idea of making the pregnancy even more exciting and having that guessing game all the way to the end. So, I guess I'll wait and see if we get a BFP and go with the flow. I am generally an impatient person, so it would be a personal challenge to not find out :)

[The Anchor]

Coocoo...are you from BC? Last I heard only BC wouldn't allow gender determination...

[NCBeachyGrl]

OK...So I think I have my plan! We are going to go team green!

BUT, to make me feel better, I am going to get an elective u/s done at 13 weeks (DH won't have a clue about nubs and they only do 8 week and 16-20 week scans at my dr.) and hopefully get a good nub pic. The place in town charges $125 and they give you a 10 minute DVD too so I am hopeful I can get some good guesses.

If I do get more boy guesses or see the willy, I can prepare on my own for the delivery and focus on getting to know my baby without worrying about telling anyone what the gender is. I can get used to it on my own terms! It will still make the delivery exciting for me and I would rather my friends on here tell me it is a boy than some u/s tech!

Now I just need to make it to my 8 week appt and then I can focus on making my elective scan!

[Yuzu]

Beachy, I see you're due April 17. That's my birthday, and I'm a GIRL...lol!

[fourunderfour]

hope it's not too late to add to this thread, but i've read all the posts and feel like there's one aspect maybe unspoken about.
i decided to find out with our children (4 boys - one adopted from Ethiopia so we knew he'd be male! :) - and while I was stunned that the u/s tech could tell me it was 2 boys at 12 weeks (I didn't actually know anything about nubs at that point) I took it for fact and went with it. i was disappointed for a few days but was able to visualize them and bond with them knowing they would be little boys.

but here's what's hardest on me (was a little bit then, but is very hard now) - is that everyone says
"oh, i just know this one is your little girl!" or things of that nature.
the pressure and weight of another persons expectations are SUPER HARD to deal with! it's like not only will you need to overcome your disappointment, but make the announcement and watch other people's faces fall. Oy.
i'd suggest finding out, but waiting to tell...at least until you've come to terms with it (as we did). but like others have said, everyone is very different.

i can't allow myself to fantasize for too long (even if i say "i will think this is a boy until i see it's a girl" - i know i'll still play the "what if" game and maybe raise my hopes up higher than they should be...) once i found out, i was able to become grounded. no more fantasizing or analyzing nubs or deciphering pregnancy symptoms...i called them by name and spoke of them as my sons.
GL to you!
I find out in 1 week what I'm having!!! :)

[coocoobananas]

Yep! But actually they do tell now, like right after I wrote this!!! They now give the result to your doctor and then the doctor tells us...wth!?!

[Yahmama]

I'm in the same boat right now, except being currently preggers and trying to decide before our big scan.

I know that for me I struggled with really bad GD last time that totally melted away when I held my baby girl in my arms. I keep wishing I just hadn't known and had enjoyed my pregnancy then felt that joy as soon as I met my baby. So now I am thinking I really want to stay Team Green. I'm having a great pregnancy and don't even want to really risk GD when I know I'll love my baby whomever he or she is.

Going out and buying lots of blue would be fab, but I don't think it would outweigh knowing the GD that would come from hearing "girl" instead of "boy." So right now I'm leaning Team Green and that's why, at least for me. It's hard to decide though, because part of me is dying to know and I stalk the u/s forum lol.

Always a great thread topic!
Wow...I could have written this word for word! I have my gender scan in 4 days and up till recently was doing good thinking of staying team green...but a HUGE part of me wants to find out cause I have a really strong feeling this is boy...and my nub guesses have mostly been boy...but I think of the chanc of hearing girl and want to cry...just trying to figure out what to do. These next 4 days will be torturous....

[Yahmama]

I would love to have a pregnancy where I didn't even think of gender.

This was one of my main reasons for staying team green, but I still think of it constantly!!! Wondering if it will stay that way after I have my scan if we don't find out or if I'll kick myself for not finding out.... :/

[Wanting a daughter]

I vote hands down absolutely find out. Well that's what worked for me anyway.

I wanted pink from the start and needed to know long before my bubs arrived so there was no chance that I would feel even the slightest moment of disappointment when they arrived. Having those months to get used to the idea of blue and bond with my sons before they even got here was perfect for me. From the moment they were layed in my arms I could just bask in the glow of loving them as my sons and never ever look at them feeling disappointed.

[NCBeachyGrl]

OK ladies....I need some help with this!!!!!!! I am almost 11 weeks....nub shots in 2 weeks exactly. I don't know what I want to do about finding out the gender. I want to find out so bad so I can get used to the idea of what the baby will be...but what I don't want to do is tell everyone its another boy if it does ending being a boy. And, DH doesn't understand my GD and will get upset with me if I act disappointed so I don't want to find out with him around either. So....do you think this is bad?

Go to gender scan by myself, get the tech to show me potty shot (not tell me so I don't have to lie to DH) and then I can go back and say what I "thought" I accidentally saw. If it is another boy, I can get used to it on my own and still keep saying that we aren't finding out until birth.

[Yahmama]

Not many people know about the nub theory, so he wouldn't necessarily have to know what you see and most people won't ask you at this point anyway I wouldn't think. So you could act clueless until your 18-20 wk scan of you want to. Also, don't ask for a potty shot at this stage as they are way too unreliable. Nub shot is best. You can look through confirmed boy and girl nub shots on the "other" gender site a lot of people are on. That helped to prepare me at what I'm looking at! Girl would be flat, parallel to the spine and often longer than boy. ESP since you will almost be 13 weeks boys would def look anged and not flat at all with often a bump on top. GL to you!!!

[NCBeachyGrl]

Thanks Yahmama! I think my post was confusing below! I don't worry so much about the 12 week scan and DH will not have a clue. He knows I am going to come straight here with my pics so that doesn't bother me. It is the 16-20 week scan that I want to go by myself to and have her show me the potty shot secretly. Do you think that is bad?

Hopefully I will get a good nub shot, I just worry I won't get a good one!!!

[Mum23boys]

I went o scans on my own with ds 3 and really wanted to know even though dh didnt and i chickened out at th elast min as no way i could have gone home ad hid my dissapointment / excitemement from him - plus ive never been able to keep things from him so wasnt an optio for me !!

[NCBeachyGrl]

I can't hide things from DH either...I am terrible at any kind of white lies! If it is a boy, I would tell him straight away that I saw the willy accidentally. But at least I would have time to soak it in and not worry about faking or hiding my disappointment. IDK! This is so hard!!!!

[BeadinMom]

I actually think it's a great plan, Beachy...
You already know what you're looking for...but if you don't ask for confirmation from the tech, then you really don't KNOW KNOW for sure, right? And you won't really be keeping anything from your DH that way.

Either way, I hope you have an absolutely OBVIOUS little girl scan :)

[kaseybaby]

I go back and forth on this. I didn't find out with my DS, and i was desperate for a girl, but when he was born I didn't have any GD. If I am ever lucky to have a second, I don't know if the obsession of gender will ruin the pregnancy. I had such a rough delivery, PPD, pregnancy with DS, that I just want to have a smooth deal next time around. I think about this daily and I am not even pregnant

[BeadinMom]

Totally know what you mean, Kasey...
I'd just be over the moon thrilled to be pregnant right now...nevermind gender.
For me, this time we won't find out.

[atomic sagebrush]

OK ladies....I need some help with this!!!!!!! I am almost 11 weeks....nub shots in 2 weeks exactly. I don't know what I want to do about finding out the gender. I want to find out so bad so I can get used to the idea of what the baby will be...but what I don't want to do is tell everyone its another boy if it does ending being a boy. And, DH doesn't understand my GD and will get upset with me if I act disappointed so I don't want to find out with him around either. So....do you think this is bad?

Go to gender scan by myself, get the tech to show me potty shot (not tell me so I don't have to lie to DH) and then I can go back and say what I "thought" I accidentally saw. If it is another boy, I can get used to it on my own and still keep saying that we aren't finding out until birth.

It was WAY less stressful finding out than if DH had been there. WAY WAY less stress. Even tho I got good news, I'm still glad he wasn't there because I think I'd have been a basket case if he had been with me. He was with me the two times I heard boy and had GD including the time I cried and I know it probably didn't sit right with him - luckily the first time I don't think either of us realized the depths of my feelings so I was able to cover that.

[atomic sagebrush]

Also, if you go at 13 weeks plus, it's a lot more reliable to get a potty shot - the tech did a potty shot just for a second with DD and I could tell there was nothing between the legs (they don't do gender before 18 weeks at my doc's office.)

[NCBeachyGrl]

According to FF and OPK, I will be going at 13W1D, but according to my first u/s, I will be 12W6D. I am pretty confident I am right with my dates b/c I got a + at 8 DPO. If I had ovulated 2 days later, I would have had a + at 6 DPO and that isn't possible! They wouldn't let me push it past 12W6D so I really do hope I will get a good nub shot or view of gender. So, this is my official plan:


Try to get tech to guess based on nub at NT Scan, hopefully get really good shots
If I get mostly girl guesses and have a obvious girl nub, I will let DH go with me to find out - but we won't tell anyone we are going. Then, we can decide if we want to surprise the family at x-mas with the news
If I get a clear boy nub or mostly boy guesses, I will stick to the plan of going by myself and having the tech show me, but not tell me and I will go back and say I thought I saw the willy. Then, I can deal with it on my own and still not have to tell ppl.


Thank you ladies for all the support. It means the world to me!!!!!