Doc says 75% girl #3 at 20 week scan but I already feel the onset of GD!

[AJ6276]

Hi everyone. Joined this group recently and I'm sure now that I'm in the right place.

We have 2 daughters and decided to try for a boy with the help of my trusted gynae and swaying with diet, timing etc. Blessed to find out that after 1 month of trying (#2 girl is 8yrs old) we fell pregnant in March this year. Saw gynae at 12 weeks for nuchal test and he said he was happy to confirm boy. Since then he has passed away with lung cancer and this alone has brought me to feel so down and sad. Had to see new doc and he did 20 week scan yesterday where he said that he is 75% sure girl but also that the cord is in the way.

I have read so many theories and stories about 3 lines, 2 lines, hamburger, turtle etc etc and so many women were told girl then delivered a boy, so there is still a chance or hope, realistically speaking.

Somehow my heart cant reason with that hope and I already feel so down and hurt. I know I should be happy because there are so many women who cannot have children at all, and believe me I am still praying for a healthy normal baby but feel hurt that I won't have the son we both longed for and dreamed we would have with this pregnancy. The symptoms, the look, the way I am carrying, is all so different from my previous two pregnancies and hence we sort of put all our hope in that.

Please don't judge me! I came on here to meet others who have felt the same as me, to try and get this out of my system before the baby arrives. I don't want to be disappointed, down and hurt after birth - baby does'nt deserve that!!!

How do you cope? I'm praying for this feeling to go away but it feels like it is not, especially when I am going to see people with DG out there, or the perfect pigeon pair!

I'm sorry if I offend anyone, I don't mean to.

[bythestream]

Im so sorry your doctor passed away and you're feeling disappointed about maybe having another girl.

Feel free to vent on here we know where you are coming from and you won't be judged.

Will you have another scan? 75% is a bit uncertain, you might be able to deal with things better if you were more sure one way or the other

[fish2012]

don't appologise to us, you sound a very kind and lovely mummy to your dd and i'm sure you will be to the new baby too

I can't imagine how i'll feel if i do end up with another boy, i can understand why you're sad....could you go for anther scan seems easier for you guys to get them than it is here. It would be good to know for certain what to prepare for. Congrats on your pregancy don't loose hope yet dreams do come true xxx

[AJ6276]

bythe****** and fish2012 - thank you so much for replying to me. I felt for a while that I was alone in this and no one could understand me until I came across this site. We can and will definitely do more scans, in fact the doc said he will do one at 24weeks and then again at 28weeks he will do the 4d from his side as well. He just seemed a bit too sure, he has 4 daughters himself and I thought he will definitely be able to tell.

I just wanted to try and deal with the disappointment now because my new arrival does not deserve me to be bitter in any way. I am a devout christian and still believe in my makers power so I am still praying.

Thank you so much!

[bythestream]

I am a Christian too :happy: I'll be praying God will give you peace whatever the outcome is. Im also having trouble with the thought I might have another boy when I really would like to experience a girl too, but God will give us what we need (or who needs us) not necessarily what we want. Although that can be really hard to handle sometimes.

Please let us know when you find out and don't ever feel you're alone in your feelings, come and share them with us.

[The Anchor]

You won't be judged here! No you don't need to apologize to anyone for your feelings. There are a lot of woman here who will be able to help you through your journey. Wishing you a H&H pregnancy.

[Yuzu]

You'll never be judged here. That's what we're all here for. I just found out I'm having my fourth boy and I go from being delighted that he's healthy to devastated that I'm having yet another son. That's what gender disappointment is about (stupid GD!). You may still hear 'boy' though, since the cord is in the way. Now is a good time to deal with what may happen, but don't give up hope quite yet!

[two_girls]

I'm so sorry that you're feeling this way.....I had GD after my 2nd DD - had my hopes up that it was definately a boy. I'm currently pregnant with number 3 - who this morning I was told was also girl #3. Though the tech did say there was quiet alot of cord in the way & that could hide boy bits......But to my surprise I don't feel disappointed. I just feel blessed knowing that I have a gorgeous healthy baby on the way. Actually I'd already had myself convinced that She was infact a SHE before the u/s in a hope it'd help with any disappointment i'd feel. I don't know if I will get another propper scan - my doc does quick scans at my antenatal appts but of course the baby has to be in the right spot to tell any way......
But for now I feel quiet ok that I've got another princess on the way. Once I seen her gorgeous little profile I just felt love.....

I hope that you're able to get another scan & its more conclusive, & that you are able to work through your GD before bub arrives. Hugs to you.

[AJ6276]

Hi twogirls/Yuzu/Anchor! Thank you so much for the encouragement. I had a good cry yesterday and got it out of my system, the best part of it is that after reading what others had to say here, I felt a bit better that someone out there understands me.

I do feel a bit better today and have settled on baby being a girl. Everyone that has asked, including all my foreign friends who are sending pressies from all over the world for this lucky baby :cool: I have started saying, I believe it is a girl. I think the acceptance thereof is the biggest part of this whole process. I also reaslised, that we should be enjoying this precious time and not worrying too much as well. I'm not sure about you but this is my last pregnancy and I want to now start making the best of it!

I am so grateful for you ladies taking the time out to help me out here!

Big hugs to everyone here and God Bless! xoxo

[fish2012]

I am a Christian too :happy: I'll be praying God will give you peace whatever the outcome is. Im also having trouble with the thought I might have another boy when I really would like to experience a girl too, but God will give us what we need (or who needs us) not necessarily what we want. Although that can be really hard to handle sometimes.

Please let us know when you find out and don't ever feel you're alone in your feelings, come and share them with us.

hey me three there is a bigger plan than us i just pray if we don't get our desired gender we will in time understand why...

[AJ6276]

Amen to that! We will understand in time!

Hugs to everyone!
AJ