Bbaby Boy #3

[jazzers]

Hi Ladies,

I haven't been on this site for a few months now (I stopped coming here just before I found out I was pregnant because I was starting to obsess a bit). Anyways, I'm now 19 weeks, and I was going to wait until birth to find out the sex of this baby. But...I went for my ultrasound a couple days ago, and I just knew I saw boy parts (we have two boys, and were trying for a girl). Since then, I haven't been able to get my mind off of it, and my girlfriend, who is pregnant with her second (first is a boy) is due a week after me, and just found out she is having a baby girl. Anyways, I was upset enough that I figured it didn't matter if I knew for sure or not, so I went in today and had a gender ultrasound done. 100% boy. I was right all along. I even had been having weird dreams where the baby would be born a girl, but then die. Or the baby would be born with girl parts, and then a couple days later, we would discover the baby actually had a penis....really really disturbing dreams.

Anyways, I guess this time I am not so upset about this one being a boy (I love my boys to death), but what really upsets me is the fact that I don't know if I want to be pregnant again, as a 4th would be a huge stretch for us. And that really upsets me...the fact that I may never ever experience having a baby girl of my own. I just don't know how to get over this. None of my friends understand. And my mom, who I would usually go to, also just doesn't understand, and makes me feel bad for wanting a baby girl so badly, when I "should be happy with any healthy baby".

I haven't told anyone that I found out the sex, other than my husband, who guessed, when I came home with the boys with puffy eyes from crying. I just may not tell anyone until the baby arrives....

I'm sorry for the long winded message. I guess I'm just looking for someone who understands and may have some comforting words :(

[bythestream]

Im so sorry you didn't here girl :-( I will probably feel the same if I have another boy even though I tell my self another boy will be ok. Take your time to come to terms with it, buy him something special.

[jazzers]

Thanks :) I already feel better today. I knew in my heart all along that this would be a boy. And on the positive, my husband and I have had some really good conversations in the last day that make me feel closer to him, and us stronger as a couple. I can't wait to meet this little boy, and see what he is all about, and watch him wrestle with the older two and join right in on the action! My husband has even been agreeable to talking about high tech and using PGD to have a 4th (oh my goodness, I don't know that I want to be pregnant again though!! This is so exhausting!). So it is really nice to know that at least if we had unlimited funds, and were willing to put everything into it, we could be guaranteed a girl. I don't know why, but that is comforting to me. I guess because there is still hope? Thanks again for replying :)

[bythestream]

That's great you have a supportive husband, I do too :bigsmile:. Mine was only saying the other day how he wasn't sure he could give me a girl, they just want us to be happy don't they. You will forget how exhausting pregnancy is after he is here I know I do :wink:

[jazzers]

It is amazing how quickly you forget the discomforts of pregnancy, isn't it?! I thought the first trimester of this pregnancy was going to kill me. Amazingly, I'm still here...and those adorable little newborns sure do make up for any aches and pains and exhaustion :) Oh well, I always told him 3 was a terrible number for children anyways - everyone should either have 2 or 4 so no one is left out!! ;) Best of luck to you with your girl this year!! I sure hope you hear pink!

[Yuzu]

I'm in the same boat, expecting the fourth boy! I go from thinking, "Oh, I'll do high tech next time," to "why am I even considering another pregnancy at my age?" I honestly change my mind from minute to minute. DH doesn't really understand GD. I don't understand it myself. I think how nice it is to have two older and two younger...and then I think, but I'll never have a girl. Oh, it's so confusing!

No answers from me, but I understand.

[jazzers]

Looks like we're due around the same time too :) Dec 14th here!

Yes, I have such mixed feelings about this pregnancy, and the possibility of getting pregnant again (at this point, there is no way in h*ll I will get pregnant the "old-fashioned way" again - with or without swaying, as it obviously didn't work for me this time.

I have started to research doing PGD/IVF, and my husband and I have had some good conversations. I feel like that is what I want/need to do. Fortunately, I am still young, so time is on my side. But I completely know how you feel. I don't think there ever are any answers either. I keep asking myself "what is it that makes me so obsessed with having a girl anyways?". Maybe if I could figure that out, I could get over it. But for now...I still really long for that little girl, and the pink sheets, and dresses, and cute hats.....

[Pstar32]

I am finding out the gender of my third on Tuesday! You sound like me :) I don't know how I'll be when I hear boy but I adore my other two! I'm 36 so don't have huge amounts of time but I think I'd be doing one more pregnancy regardless of gender anyway. Congratulations on your new baby, I'm due 7th December so we may both be getting our 3rd gorgeous boys then. Best of luck!

[jazzers]

Good luck!! I swore I wouldn't find out this time. After my girlfriend found out she was having a girl (first is a boy), I couldn't take it any longer. I do not regret finding out at all, and am starting to really enjoy the thought of three boys. We haven't told anyone we know though, and if asked, we tell them the gender of this one is a surprise. I think that is one of the biggest frustrations for me - telling someone you're having the third boy and getting the "sympathy" card, or being asked if we'll have another. I found that with DS2, so I imagine it's only worse with #3! Of COURSE I've already thought of this, but I'm really trying hard to focus on enjoying THIS pregnancy and not obsessing over the next.

Best of luck to you on Tuesday! Would love to hear what you're having!

[jazzers]

Oh, and secretly, I'm glad now that it's a boy. I think 4 is a much better number for kids than 3, and I'm really looking forward to evening out the numbers again! (fingers crossed we don't have twins...although wouldn't that be something - twin girls after 3 boys!?!)

[Pstar32]

That's so funny I didn't tell anyone after I found out DS2 was a boy! I didn't want people to give me the sympathy card.

My best friend was having a girl after a boy at the same time. We told each other and that's all! I did get upset when I heard her news initially but I was fine once both babies were born!

I swore I wouldn't find out on this one either but I can't wait! I'm not going to tell anyone we did though. My husband's brother has two boys and lost their two girls one year after the other from a rare condition where they are perfect in the womb but can't breath for themselves when they are born.

His other brother has a baby girl with a deletion one chromosome and his mam lost a baby girl at birth. So my DH wouldn't be telling his family if it was a girl, his mam would just worry the whole way through. So I'm telling people we're not finding out. There are 5 healthy grandsons though and one other girl!
I just looked at the facebook pages of three of my friends who have 3 boys and their pictures are gorgeous, made me feel excited about 3 boys. I'd love twin girls after 3 boys haha!!
I'll let you know the result tomorrow please God the baby is healthy :)

[myangel2014]

Hello Jazzers

I am in the exact boat as you :) I just had my 3rd boy in May and he is a love. I have twin boys who are 20months now and then this beautiful 3 month old. I can't imagine my life without all 3 now. It is alot of fun with 3 boys- they are very active and keep me laughing and busy all day. I too found out very early in my pregnancy that I was having a third boy...I was sure that I was having a girl so when I heard boy- my heart sank and my stomach was empty....i was devastated...then on came the sadness and having to tell everyone who though I was having a girl that it was a boy..it was so rough let me tell you...i had alot of GS during my pregnancy and the hormones didn't help...what did get me through was similar to you...my husband agreed to a 4th child (secretly i wouldn't mind twin girls lol) and I started researching pgd/ivf...i don't feel like i want to go the natural way again with the idea of 4 boys ...so i have been researching it to death...i hope it will happen and work for us...ITs just sooo expensive! but I don't want 6-7 kids so I think it is worth trying at least...I hope you find comfort in that you are not alone in how you feel. It is so hard and friends/family that aren't in your shoes won't understand...I am here to talk too..I can't wait until I am in the position to try for that girl too..I am just trying to get into the swing with 3 little boys..then i will add my daughter which will be the icing....

[jazzers]

Thanks so much for the reply :)

It is so nice to be able to come on here and have other people truly understand these emotions, and what we are all going through. The whole "oh you should be thrilled it is a healthy baby" bit that everyone spouts just makes me want to slap someone these days. And it really irritates me coming from women who have had at least one of each gender. I feel like they are not allowed to have an opinion, because they've never been there ;) (ok, I'll give exception to those that have had 2+ in a row of one gender, then finally the opposite). LOL.

I'd love to chat with you about the IVF/PGD process and what you have found. I have a file in my email started now for all the gender selection emails with pricing and info etc, just so I can reference back. I keep trying to formulate a "plan" in my mind, about where we want to get it done, pros/cons/pricing, and what that will look like (when will I need to wean? how will I feel about weaning just to get pregnant again? should we space these next ones further out? what if we have twins? although I'd be ok with girl twins at this point!!). I am leaning towards a clinic in Mexico right now that can do MS and IVF with gender selection. I want the max number of embryos fertilized XX!! it is SO much information though...so many decisions.....

[myangel2014]

I feel like you when I read your posts cause I went through all of the same things/emotions. I got through having my 3rd boy with the fact that we would have a number 4. I am obsessed about learning all about PGD/IVF and already planning in my head when i want to put it into motion. I am thinking fall 2013/winter 2014- might as well have all 4 of them together. I don't think I could try to sway for the last one-unless ivf fails-just cause of the extreme feelings i had this time around. I love my new little guy but still feel like something is missing...i agree...i think why is it that i am so obessed about having a girl??- i came to two conclusions...cause I never thought having one of each would be an issues- cause everyone i know seems to have 1 of each and the 2nd reason is that i want the opportunity to raise a daughter and possibly have a relationship that i have with my mother...I think its later in life that i really want a daughter- when all my boys don't want to tell me anything and my daughter calls for advice or just to talk...i think thats why i really want a daughter...I absolutely HATE all the sympathy i get when i am out about having 3 boys...its like a disease to some...saying to me...ohhhh 3 boys- no girls wow..you have your hands full...are you going to try again?No filter- esp some old folks! I honestly dont get people...When are you thinking of doing pgd/ivf? I also found it helpful to buy your new guy cute little outfits...i do love newborn outfits :)) ALso until you have you girl- think how you are the princess/queen of the house and enjoy that! You are the Queen Bee...I am trying to enjoy my newborn but it has been really hard not to still think/research alot about my future little girl....He is 3 months and even though it was an eshausting pregnancy///i would get pregnant again in a sec for my little girl..you will forget about the exhausting part of pregnancy cause the payoff is huge!! Lets chat more..send me a msg!!

[lisvna]

Jazzers I'm 20 weeks pregnant with our second son and he is an ivf/pgd/spermsort baby. We wanted a baby girl but decided to transfer girls and boys (long story; our embryos were very poor quantity and we have just one child). It's very comforting to know we can go back and do again ivf/pgd/spermsort and then we will only transfers girls!!!

[jazzers]

How has your pregnancy been since you found out it is boy #2? At least you are familiar with the procedure and have obviously had success! You did your cycles in Cyprus?

[lisvna]

My pregnancy goes well and we now very happy he will be a healthy boy (as far as they can see). I have no GD at all! It's just like a natural pregnancy, the only thing what is different is that we new very fast I'm pregnant. Both Cycles were in south Cyprus at Genesis clinic.

[jazzers]

That's awesome! I am so glad now that our second is a boy too. Our two sons have such an amazing relationship, and get along so well. I wouldn't change it for anything. In fact, I rarely see other siblings that are as close as my boys are (I think it helps that they are only 15 months apart). I'm hoping that #3 fits right in, but we shall see!

Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy :)

[Pstar32]

In fact, I rarely see other siblings that are as close as my boys are (I think it helps that they are only 15 months apart). I'm hoping that #3 fits right in, but we shall see!

Jazzers my first son was born Sept 09 and my second Jan 11, my third is due Dec 12. I have the same age gap as you do between my two boys and I feel the same. They do everything together. My best friend had a girl when I had my second boy and she's having an awful time. She has the same gap but they kill each other and won't play together. My oldest has to have my youngest where-ever he goes xx We're destined to be pregnant together haha. I always wanted four kids so our next might come the same time, I'll have my 3rd boy and you'll be having your girl and we could end up with the same family make-up :)

[fish2012]

In fact, I rarely see other siblings that are as close as my boys are (I think it helps that they are only 15 months apart). I'm hoping that #3 fits right in, but we shall see!

Jazzers my first son was born Sept 09 and my second Jan 11, my third is due Dec 12. I have the same age gap as you do between my two boys and I feel the same. They do everything together. My best friend had a girl when I had my second boy and she's having an awful time. She has the same gap but they kill each other and won't play together. My oldest has to have my youngest where-ever he goes xx We're destined to be pregnant together haha. I always wanted four kids so our next might come the same time, I'll have my 3rd boy and you'll be having your girl and we could end up with the same family make-up :)

i have two boys 16 months apart too they are so close i'm happy now that ds2 is a boy but jazzers i think you are being so brave I don't know how i'll manage if i hear boy xx

:hugs::hugs:

[jazzers]

That is so cool that your kids are the same ages as mine!!! That is so awesome that you are having a girl this time. We are committed to having a 4th, and will do IVF to do it. But it is still hard. And then I wonder if that is a good idea, because how will a little girl fit in after having 3 older brothers? Will she be left out? I'm still working through all the emotions I think. But one thing is for sure, I am REALLY excited to meet this little guy in December :) He was meant to be my third son. No question! Someone out there really thinks we should have 4 kids, because I won't be able to let it go until we're at 4 (my max is 4. No matter what!).


In fact, I rarely see other siblings that are as close as my boys are (I think it helps that they are only 15 months apart). I'm hoping that #3 fits right in, but we shall see!

Jazzers my first son was born Sept 09 and my second Jan 11, my third is due Dec 12. I have the same age gap as you do between my two boys and I feel the same. They do everything together. My best friend had a girl when I had my second boy and she's having an awful time. She has the same gap but they kill each other and won't play together. My oldest has to have my youngest where-ever he goes xx We're destined to be pregnant together haha. I always wanted four kids so our next might come the same time, I'll have my 3rd boy and you'll be having your girl and we could end up with the same family make-up :)

[jazzers]

In some ways, it was easier hearing boy this time than it was with DS2. I just expected DS2 to be a girl, and the shock of hearing boy, and the subsequent emotions of "what if we never have a girl?" etc, were overwhelming. At least this time, I know that a boy/boy relationship for siblings can be awesome, and I've had all this time since DS2 was born to process the fact that we may never get pregnant with a girl. I walked in expecting to hear boy this time, and yes, it was still heartbreaking at the time, but I have more or less come to terms with it, and there is less lingering "what if we never have a girl" type emotions, because I've already dealt with those. Plus, focussing my attention on the HT clinics and saving up for PGD/IVF for our next one is keeping me sane. At least I can be guaranteed next time that the embryo they put back in WILL be a girl - it may not implant, but there will be no question if it does that it is a girL!!


i have two boys 16 months apart too they are so close i'm happy now that ds2 is a boy but jazzers i think you are being so brave I don't know how i'll manage if i hear boy xx

:hugs::hugs:

[Pstar32]

I know you'll get your girl next time. My friend is the youngest with three older brothers. She is a gorgeous and extremely confident girl. Her older brothers are all really good looking and sporty, so as you can imagine she was very popular with all the girls in our area. Not only that but they treat her like a princess and spoil her rotten, the four of them are very very close. She has a great personality as well, she's really funny and doesn't take herself too seriously, all my friends with only brothers are the same. I think you get used to the joking and slagging and there is no being nice just to spare feelings. I love having brothers now and I have 7 really really close girlfriends who are like my sisters, we all grew up together and all of us except two are only girls.
If your first two already have that relationship I'm sure all your kids will. It's an exciting time seeing what baby number three will look like and what his little personality will be. Both of us are blessed, long may it continue :)
I had really come to terms with a third boy before the ultrasound. Like you I have awful GD on DS2 and he is absolutely gorgeous now, so I was determined not to let it ruin my third pregnancy. I really started to concentrate on the baby as a new little personality and much loved addition to our family as opposed to a boy/girl. I was getting excited regardless and I was determined to hold on to those feelings. I would definitely have gone HT for number 4 if this was a boy.
I think a girl having older brothers is very cool and the more the better :)

[jazzers]

I sure hope so....I fear putting all that money into it and then NOT getting pregnant. My fear next to that is getting pregnant with twin girls, but I think I would be able to cope with that :D It is SO hard to focus on this pregnancy right now when all I can think about is the next one. Ugh, so frustrating. I just want this little boy to get here so I can love him and cuddle him and forget about the whole daughter thing for a bit (hopefully!). A few more months....


I know you'll get your girl next time. My friend is the youngest with three older brothers. She is a gorgeous and extremely confident girl. Her older brothers are all really good looking and sporty, so as you can imagine she was very popular with all the girls in our area. Not only that but they treat her like a princess and spoil her rotten, the four of them are very very close. She has a great personality as well, she's really funny and doesn't take herself too seriously, all my friends with only brothers are the same. I think you get used to the joking and slagging and there is no being nice just to spare feelings. I love having brothers now and I have 7 really really close girlfriends who are like my sisters, we all grew up together and all of us except two are only girls.
If your first two already have that relationship I'm sure all your kids will. It's an exciting time seeing what baby number three will look like and what his little personality will be. Both of us are blessed, long may it continue :)
I had really come to terms with a third boy before the ultrasound. Like you I have awful GD on DS2 and he is absolutely gorgeous now, so I was determined not to let it ruin my third pregnancy. I really started to concentrate on the baby as a new little personality and much loved addition to our family as opposed to a boy/girl. I was getting excited regardless and I was determined to hold on to those feelings. I would definitely have gone HT for number 4 if this was a boy.
I think a girl having older brothers is very cool and the more the better :)