I feel like a terrible person...

[dontwantagirl]

I recently found out that I'm pregnant with a girl and I haven't stopped crying since. I have a 13 month old son at home and was desperately hoping for another boy! I have always wanted 3 boys. I have never desired to have a girl. I was never close with my mom growing up, and I already have 5 nieces. I'm not girly, I don't care for the drama that little girls bring and I just never pictured myself having a girl! I was so hoping that since the two will only be 18 months apart, they would both be rough and tumble little boys! I'm so sad. I feel like I don't even want this baby anymore! I feel terrible for saying that, especially since it took me a couple years to get pregnant with my first. I am greatful the baby is healthy, and I thought I would be okay with having a girl. I just can't seem to control my emotions and my husband thinks I am being completely unreasonable. Anyone have any coping strategies that have helped?

[Mrs_P]

hi i know this feeling well other than in reverse, i was pg with my 3rd boy two years ago and so desperatly wanted a girl (still do). I know it seems hard but its good you've found out gives you time to come to terms with it. I cried so much at my ultra sound and for a good few weeks after but by the time he was due i was really excited. There seems something magical about being a mom we naturally have this ability to love our child and although it may not seem like it at the moment something will happen to make that click for you.

She will be a special little person in her own right and maybe just like her mom without a girly bone in her body. You may end up with a little tom cat who loves restling with her brother after all and if not you can always send her my way!

It will get easier but if boys are something you want to experience you could always try again in a few years to give your son a brother. I have a friend who desperatly wanted a second son and caught with her dd but now she is really close to her dd it put her in touch with a girly side she never knew she had. Relationships are always different when they are your own, although other peoples daughters may not be your thing you relationship with her will be completely different. I've had a touch relationship with my mom at times and although this maybe scary in terms of your own mother daughter relationship it does not mean it will follow suit.

Chin up and please don't feel bad for your feelings express them and vent on here thats what were here for, to say things you wouldn't say to other people without judgement, getting it all out will help you come to terms with things x

[lisvna]

Ow hun I'm sorry for you you feeling this.....but also so jealous hihihihi. I'm right now pregnant with my second son (after ivf/PGD and I wanted so desperately a daughter! But you know what? The third child can be the desired gender we want! And your daughter and your son are close in age so they will have the same interests and your second son will have a big brother and a big sister how wonderfull will that be!

I think I'm like you a little; I don't like the dramas of little girls etc. But I think it's nice to have a daughter especially when she gets older. You will have the same interests then. You can have the mother/daughter bond what you never experienced with your mother. You can share things like having kids, going to marry and buy wedding dress, stuff like that!

I hope that I have cheered you up a little!

[fiveboysandagirl]

Oh bless you, I've been there just in reverse! If I've learned one important thing from having five babies, it's that you can never tell what your child is going to be like until you meet them and they start developing their own little character! All the little girls you have ever met will be nothing like yours. She is going to be totally unique. Your relationship with her will be nothing like the relationship you had with your mother. This is a totally new person and she will be full of surprises for you! I honestly (and ashamedly) wished each of my last four pregnancies away at certain points and now I wouldn't be without any of my babies. It's very hard to be where you are right now, but there is happiness and joy waiting for you at the other end of this experience.
xx

[zibibbogirl]

My brother is two years older than me and we were super close growing up. We were almost like boy/girl twins. People used to tell my Mum how adorable we were. I know it's not what you had in mind and that is a terrible thing to deal with, especially with the pregnancy hormones racing. Once you meet her I am sure you will fall in love with her. And Lisvna is right, third time around you can give your son a brother.

[bluedreams]

I know exactly how you feel. I am having my 2nd girl this month. I cried when I found out I was having another girl. I never really wanted or pictured myself with girls. But, I actually wouldn't have minded having a girl if I had a boy first. I'm not girly at all so I am a little afraid of how I am going to raise them. At least you have a boy so that should give you some relief. I went through really bad GD with this pregnancy but now that the due date is near I am actually getting excited to meet the little one. Give yourself time. It eventually goes away...until you think about your next pregnancy.

[luvncamrin]

You are me 3 years ago!! NOT IN REVERSE! This looks like the identical post that I put in the IG board back then!I know EXACTLY how you feel. It's a very small pool of us that do not desire having girls....please message me if you need to talk....I hope (and think) I might be able to help =)

[n710]

My DS and DD#1 are 18 months apart and so close and I swear my DD is more like a boy than my son is. You never know what your kids will be like. I can understand being apprehensive esp. since you don't have a close relationship with your mom, but now you'll know how you would want to bond with a daughter

[girlmom]

i only ever wanted like 2 or 3 boys... yet here i am with 5 daughters. i guess im persistant. i refused to give up on my blue dream and you know what he's here! i know most people don't want 5 or 6 children but had i done the ivf/pgd like i wanted after the 2nd daughter was born i wouldn't have been blessed with these girls and no it wasn't my dream family in the beginning but it my family now and to me its perfect. congrats!

[Myloves]

I think many of us were exactly in your shoes, only the opposite!
I never wanted any boys. Little boys annoyed me (my nephews actually still irritate me) and thought I'd do a terrible job in raising them. So naturally when I heard 'boy' twice at my sons' u/sounds, I had terrible GD. But let me tell you this; I fell in love with them both because they're mine. They have shown me so much, and taught me to embrace them as little boys. Without them, I would still have all the crazy issues I had before they were born. Your daughter will be YOURS. I know you may feel annoyed by other people's little girls, but remember that your baby is not someone else's little girl, but your your own, and for that reason alone you will love her. Even if you don't bond after birth straight away, you will bond with her. She will teach you many things you and help you rise above any issues you may feel with little girls.
Big hugs hunny! I hope you feel better soon.

[jogami]

I was the same, I never in my wildest dreams thought that I would have a daughter, never mind two!!! I argued that I am a boy's mommy and I'd love more boys, it was a shock but now I'm getting excited! Once she's in your arms you are going to fall in love with her. Try to focus on all the good aspects this brings, you get to experience the best of both worlds, something some women would love to have. I think you don't know it yet, but you are blessed beyond. Try to focus on the fact for now that you are growing a baby, enjoy the kicks and your expanding tummy, you'll soon get very excited and realise that a baby is such a blessing - regardless of their gender xxx

[hotdogz&boyz]

I don't know why that makes you a terrible person. You *might* be a terrible person if you said you wished you could drown all the girls of the world :holysheep:. But having a personal reaction to the fact that your "dream family" involved two sons is nothing to be kicking yourself over. You are just letting go of something you pictured for yourself. I think most people have some form of GD at some random point of their lives. Be it that they didn't get the gender they hoped for first. Or that they didn't to experience each of the genders. Or they had their children further apart than they hoped and it affected their gender wishes for each pregnancy. It is probably more prevalant than most people will admit.

I cried at my second ultrasound. NOT because I was having a second son, I actually always wanted two boys as well. But because it was one less chance I had to "get my girl." I feel pressure to have a daughter for both myself and my MIL (who has two sons and desperately wanted a daughter). So that second time, I thought I would have a girl, no more pressure and then I could have a couple more sons to round out MY ideal family. But, alas, I was meant to have a squishy, bouncing, zany little boy. Who is nothing like I expected him to be. So it just took a day or two for me to adapt to the idea. Give yourself some time...even if it takes months. I think you will feel differently by the end of pregnancy and, especially, when she gets here :)

[Mrs_P]

Hi dontwantagirl just wondered how your doing now the shock of the ultra sound has sunk in x

[luvncamrin]

this person only has one post...nothing else...pretty sure she isn't on here anymore.....

[Myloves]

this person only has one post...nothing else...pretty sure she isn't on here anymore.....

I hope she's feeling better.

[amari]

I'm so sorry, DG just plain sucks. I do have to say, I know a lot of people who have close together boys and girls, and they are rough and tumble! Hope your gd goes away quickly.