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spinningmadly
December 13th, 2012, 05:51 PM
lol thanks
It's just hard to be optimistic... I'm glad my level 2 was moved til monday , although that wasn't done bc he was worried about the cysts, he was just worried about my mental state. so I think i can get through the weekend and I'll breathe ok if they say everything else looks ok.

ThreeMenAndALAdy
December 13th, 2012, 05:55 PM
And I agree with you Spinning!!! You should be in the 98% that doesn't have to worry about this. You've had your share...enough is enough!!! I'm sorry.

Bimby
December 13th, 2012, 06:12 PM
Spinning, I read about these cysts on the ultrasound board on Babycentre and the tech there said they dont even consider these a marker anymore as they seem to becoming more common and dont lead to any future concerns so unless they were coupled up with other things she wouldnt even worry about them. Not sure if that makes you feel any better about things but I wanted to tell you. Huge hugs, Im sure your little girl will be just fine. If you can, go do something nice for yourself to take your mind off of things for a little bit xx

Jheitz - Congrats on a healthy baby boy!! Im sorry you didnt hear girl hon, I hope you're doing ok xx

spinningmadly
December 13th, 2012, 07:49 PM
that makes me feel a lot better. thanks!

spinningmadly
December 13th, 2012, 08:03 PM
jheitz, how are you doing?

hotdogz&boyz
December 13th, 2012, 08:42 PM
A friend of mines daughter had those cysts and they actually took even longer than "usual" to clear up. And she is a very healthy, rambunctious toddler now (heck, she bests all of our same-age sons...running circles around them!). Her doc told her they are becoming more common because ultrasounds are coming so far in regards to what they can see. Back five years ago, they were a lot less clear and what might be seen as a cyst today was only seen as a variance on the screen back then. I would be worried to, because it is in my nature to be worried (if you couldn't already tell). But I do believe they are common (and I think somewhere I read they are even more common in girls for some reason...dunno where I heard/read that though).

Anyway...I found out a lot of my discomfort today was from a blossoming UTI. I started to have some radiating back pain and burning, so I went to the "walk in" place. Confirmed UTI. So I hope some of the pains subside and I can relax again. It's true I have no reason to believe anything is wrong with this baby/pregnancy. It's so hard for me to remember.

3girlsinarow
December 13th, 2012, 09:52 PM
Well she's definitely still a girl.
However my friend wanted to warn me , even though she knows it common, since I will hear at my level 2 next week, that she has choroid plexus cysts on her brain, anyone familiar with this?

Hey spinning...my dd 3 had the same thing at my 19 week ultrasound....I freaked out and cried for days....and then started praying and believing she would be fine. Praise God....by my ultrasound to check back at 24 weeks the cysts were gone. Needless to say, she is 2 now and has been and is perfectly healthy....nothing wrong with her brain for sure...she's too smart for her own good. :) My doc had told me not to panic as it does happen sometimes and typically resolves by 24 to 28 weeks but who can tell a mom not to worry about such a thing. I'll be praying they disappear and she has a perfect report next time.

spinningmadly
December 13th, 2012, 10:30 PM
So they didn't pressure you to do an amnio? Thats what dh is worrying about , extra tests for no reason

suregena
December 14th, 2012, 03:02 AM
I'm HOME!!!!! I'm in ARIZONA!!! I'm so happy. The first scent of that wet dirt smell just filled up my spirit big time... ugh, so wonderful!

I gave my mom her Christmas card immediately at the airport... signed "LOVE, Ned, Gena, Otis, & Willow"
Her reaction was priceless!

Butterfly Spirit
December 14th, 2012, 03:04 AM
I'm HOME!!!!! I'm in ARIZONA!!! I'm so happy. The first scent of that wet dirt smell just filled up my spirit big time... ugh, so wonderful!

I gave my mom her Christmas card immediately at the airport... signed "LOVE, Ned, Gena, Otis, & Willow"
Her reaction was priceless!

:awe: Welcome Home (again) :awe:

LOVE IT!!! :running:

Turning the page
December 14th, 2012, 07:44 AM
Love it, gena!! Have a wonderful holiday!! :)

3blue2013
December 14th, 2012, 08:52 AM
jheitz, how are you doing?

I'm having ups and downs. I just feel like there is a big hole in my heart and I am worried that will never be filled. DH asked me if I wanted to keep going and try for a 4th but I just think that would be to have a girl and can't do that. We will have 3 lovely boys and my husband has 1 other son as well so that I just think we would be taking on more than we can afford/handle. I go from being sad about never having a daughter and mad that everyone around me seems to get at least 1 of each and wonder why I can't. I actually wished yesterday that we would have just stopped at 2 kids. What the heck?!?? Then I get mad at myself for even feeling this way because a baby is a blessings and he is healthy at that is all that should matter. I have to go back in for ultrasounds roughly every 2 weeks due to my preterm labor risk, so I'm hopeful it helps me bond with the baby more and get over this. Thanks for asking. :)

spinningmadly
December 14th, 2012, 11:20 AM
I think everything you are feeling is normal
I would have felt the exact same if I had heard boy and I did run those scenarios in my head, which is why unless we could afford HT I wouldnt even try again bc it would just be to have a girl AND i was freaking out bc kids are expensive . but when the baby is born all that will matter is that hes healthy etc etc, but for now, dont feel bad for having the feelings you do.
If anything, at least there are plenty of people in this thread that can understand and you can talk to .. seems to be a lot of boy opposites :/

ThreeMenAndALAdy
December 14th, 2012, 01:58 PM
I'm having ups and downs. I just feel like there is a big hole in my heart and I am worried that will never be filled. DH asked me if I wanted to keep going and try for a 4th but I just think that would be to have a girl and can't do that. We will have 3 lovely boys and my husband has 1 other son as well so that I just think we would be taking on more than we can afford/handle. I go from being sad about never having a daughter and mad that everyone around me seems to get at least 1 of each and wonder why I can't. I actually wished yesterday that we would have just stopped at 2 kids. What the heck?!?? Then I get mad at myself for even feeling this way because a baby is a blessings and he is healthy at that is all that should matter. I have to go back in for ultrasounds roughly every 2 weeks due to my preterm labor risk, so I'm hopeful it helps me bond with the baby more and get over this. Thanks for asking. :)

The morning after I found out this baby was a boy I thought for a second that I should put him up for adoption. I still can't believe that I thought that way...even if just for a second. I promise it does get better. I found out at the beginning of November and I did have a few rough weeks. But now I don't think about it as much as I did. I hope you find peace with 3 boys or you keep the door open for a 4th. I did get my girl the third time, but I wanted her to have a sister, and that's why I went for the 4th and now 5th. I'm done...lol...but don't regret any of them. And I won't be calling an adoption agency any time soon...lol. I hope you start feeling better soon. And we are here if you need us.

Mrs_P
December 14th, 2012, 02:02 PM
I had all those thoughts with ds3, thought everything horrible under the sun but it does get easier - by about 8 months i was fine and just looking forward to meeting him. Still feel guilty when i look at him now, he is the most precious two year old and the one i get the most love off, he was mean't to be and so is your little boy. You may not realise it now but he is in your family for a reason and i'm sure he will bring you immense joy, your little girl is just taking her time to arrive but she'll come one day x

3blue2013
December 14th, 2012, 03:00 PM
I know I will love this little guy and I already do. I am excited for him to arrive. I'm just struggling with wanting that mother - daughter relationship soooo badly. I went through this with DS2 and I really thought it would be different this time. I too still feel guilty when I look at DS2, but he melts my heart so much and I'm sure DS3 will do so as well. I don't know if a fourth will be in our future and I don't need to decide that now. I need to know I would be doing it for a fourth and not just a girl because chances of a boy are probably higher after 3. But keeping the door open is at least helping me a little. My mom had 6 kids, 5 boys and 1 girl (me). I was the fourth in line. Can't help but think I just am like my mom and make more boys but that just seems like a silly myth to me too. Anyway, anytime I get sad I am just trying to give my boys extra snuggles, kisses and playtime. Hearing their sweet giggles takes all my hurt away.

mummypink
December 14th, 2012, 03:30 PM
Hey jheitz77,

Sending you a big hug, I know exactly how you feel. The sadness is awful, mine comes and goes and I have moments where I think maybe I am over it and then the sad feeling overwhelms me again. It does seem so unfair, and I'm not sure how we move past that feeling. Of course we will love our new little boys to pieces but as you say it doesn't take away that longing for a mother daughter relationship.
My dh was annoyed today as a friend let him down on a fishing trip he was supposed to be going on, so I replied happily 'hey don't worry in a few years you'll have three sons to enjoy all the fishing trips with that you want to!'. Of course the moment the words passed my lips I felt that dreaded pain in my heart at the thought I would never have a daughter to spend special moments with.
Like you a fourth is a possibility for us but I know in my heart I never wanted to have 4 children, I only agreed to three because my dh wanted 4 and 3 was the compromise. Plus after ds2 I thought hey next time I'll get my daughter. I'm not going to decide now either and at least it is an option for us as I know it isn't for everyone but I will have to seriously think about it and part of me is hoping that when ds3 arrives my desire for a daughter will vanish with him.

As for your mum having loads of boys I wouldn't pay too much attention to that, my mum was one of 3 girls and everyone else in my family has had a mixture of boys and girls. In fact most have had a boy followed by a girl, and I stupidly always thought I would be the same.

I am honestly happy for everyone that has got their desired gender on here, I know how much you all wanted it, but envy is creeping in too and making me feel worse so I think I'm going to try and stay away for a while until I have got my head around things properly. xxx

Funwithfive
December 14th, 2012, 04:27 PM
Hi all, I have not really posted before but just feel compelled to post and tell you all that I know exactly how you are feeling! I have 4 boys and 1 girl and just found out that we are amazingly having another girl in May. I really never thought I would ever have a girl. I tried shettles with DS2 and then a whole host of IG style stuff with DS3. I cried every day for a month after I found out we were having another boy and like many of the other ladies here have said that every day it got a little better. Out of all my children he is the one that tugs my heart the most! I still look at him and feel so blessed that he was another boy and not a girl!! I remember the overwhelming pain when I found out he was a boy and shake my head and give a little smile and think that God really knows what is best!! I tried again three years later to have another girl (always wanted 4 kids) and trying again with shettles (I was a slow learner!!ha!) had boy number 4!! That was a lot easier to take and thought that having 4 boys was pretty dang special - and it really really is!! When my DS 4 was 6 months old (was nursing him and still had not had a period found out I was pregnant and was absolutely floored (never wanted 5 kids) and she was a huge surprise from beginning to end. I guess the nursing thing and losing weight after the pregnancy really swayed for me. My husband has really gotten into the big family thing and has begged for a sixth (can you believe it - he only wanted 3) and I finally gave in And tried some GD type swaying very loosely and here we are almost 20 weeks later and having another girl which I am am so amazed about. Anyway I the pint of my really long post is to tell you that I tear up frequently at your posts as I know what you are feeling but do want to give you hope for the future! It does get better and one day you will look back and know that all that is happening is part of the plan and will be such a blessing. Sorry for such a long post!!

Tiffani3
December 14th, 2012, 04:55 PM
Hi all, I have not really posted before but just feel compelled to post and tell you all that I know exactly how you are feeling! I have 4 boys and 1 girl and just found out that we are amazingly having another girl in May. I really never thought I would ever have a girl. I tried shettles with DS2 and then a whole host of IG style stuff with DS3. I cried every day for a month after I found out we were having another boy and like many of the other ladies here have said that every day it got a little better. Out of all my children he is the one that tugs my heart the most! I still look at him and feel so blessed that he was another boy and not a girl!! I remember the overwhelming pain when I found out he was a boy and shake my head and give a little smile and think that God really knows what is best!! I tried again three years later to have another girl (always wanted 4 kids) and trying again with shettles (I was a slow learner!!ha!) had boy number 4!! That was a lot easier to take and thought that having 4 boys was pretty dang special - and it really really is!! When my DS 4 was 6 months old (was nursing him and still had not had a period found out I was pregnant and was absolutely floored (never wanted 5 kids) and she was a huge surprise from beginning to end. I guess the nursing thing and losing weight after the pregnancy really swayed for me. My husband has really gotten into the big family thing and has begged for a sixth (can you believe it - he only wanted 3) and I finally gave in And tried some GD type swaying very loosely and here we are almost 20 weeks later and having another girl which I am am so amazed about. Anyway I the pint of my really long post is to tell you that I tear up frequently at your posts as I know what you are feeling but do want to give you hope for the future! It does get better and one day you will look back and know that all that is happening is part of the plan and will be such a blessing. Sorry for such a long post!!

You have given me some hope thank you. What a wonderful family you must have. Would love to read your sway for your girls xx

Cinss
December 14th, 2012, 05:09 PM
Hi Funwithfive :) Would you like to be added to the due date list on the 1st page of this thread?

spinningmadly
December 14th, 2012, 06:20 PM
is anyone else totally shaken by this school shooting?

so glad we homeschool right now

Cinss
December 14th, 2012, 06:45 PM
is anyone else totally shaken by this school shooting?

so glad we homeschool right now
Ive only seen comments on FB and on here so far, im scared to turn on the news, from what i can tell it was devistating and sad, i cant even imagine anything like that happening in Australia.

spinningmadly
December 14th, 2012, 06:47 PM
it was a kindergarten class, 20 were killed I believe out of 27

Bimby
December 14th, 2012, 07:01 PM
I shouldnt have read about it, Ive been sobbing uncontollably since... MY DS1 is in kindergarten and I dread to think of that happening. Thankfully we have pretty strict gunlaws but Im sure if someone really wanted to they could get their hand on one. Makes me sick to my stomach that a human being could do this! I am at a loss at the world today.... :(

Cinss
December 14th, 2012, 07:11 PM
I just watched it :tissue:

suregena
December 14th, 2012, 07:21 PM
is anyone else totally shaken by this school shooting?

so glad we homeschool right now

Yes. UGH. My first real news since arriving home. Hate this stuff. It just doesn't happen in the UK. I never hear about shootings anymore when in the UK... just here... in the US. It's disgusting, shocking, and sick. What monster kills children? It infuriates me.

Cinss
December 14th, 2012, 07:40 PM
I can't imagine how the school teacher felt seeing her son do that before she died too :(

Bimby
December 14th, 2012, 07:49 PM
Oh Cinss I thought about that too, how awful - I am just so upset by it...

Bimby
December 14th, 2012, 07:55 PM
On a brighter note is TTP scan today/tomorrow??? How are you feeling?? Excited??? I guess us Aussies will have to wait for tomrrow for the update, wishing you all the best hon xx

spinningmadly
December 14th, 2012, 08:04 PM
I know Surgena, makes me so sad and angry.

spinningmadly
December 14th, 2012, 08:07 PM
cinss- I saw your baby wearing thing , where you said you are getting a ring sling. I never loved ring slings lol but i just never could get them to fit right (I Had one made out of a woven too) but I wanted to point out that when the baby gets bigger its much easier to have one where the weight is divided 2 shoulders. Ring slings are great but I think you definitely need more than just a ring sling especially when baby gets heavy because it hurts when all the weight is on one side..

I have a LOT of carriers and wraps etc lol. I wore DS1 a lot.
the babywearer.com is also a good site

Funwithfive
December 14th, 2012, 08:21 PM
Yes please I am due May 14th. My eyes are swollen and red from crying over the shootings. I just found out about it and just cannot make any sense out of it. It is just too sad and horrible for words!

Turning the page
December 14th, 2012, 08:42 PM
I'm so heartbroken, like everyone else, over these shootings. My heart literally aches...every time I think I think about it, I cry. I didn't even know about it until I got in my car after work and turned on the radio, about five minutes before President Obama started the press conference. When he started to get choked up in his speech, I just lost it. I haven't had the heart to turn on the news, so I still don't know any details. And I don't know if I ever want to know...
In other news, I have my scan tomorrow at 11:00 am. After today, it seems like small potatoes. I am just excited to see my sweet little baby, whether it be he or she. Hug your babies tightly tonight, mamas!!

Cinss
December 14th, 2012, 08:47 PM
cinss- I saw your baby wearing thing , where you said you are getting a ring sling. I never loved ring slings lol but i just never could get them to fit right (I Had one made out of a woven too) but I wanted to point out that when the baby gets bigger its much easier to have one where the weight is divided 2 shoulders. Ring slings are great but I think you definitely need more than just a ring sling especially when baby gets heavy because it hurts when all the weight is on one side..

I have a LOT of carriers and wraps etc lol. I wore DS1 a lot.
the babywearer.com is also a good site

hmm i am not really sure what to do, i think i just need a ring sling for when bub is newborn, so i can still take DD in the pram or trolly. Then when bub is bigger i will probably just put him the pram and DD will be able to walk. i did have a Tommee Tippee baby carrier with DD and i only used it once, i have given it away, i always prefered to put her in the pram but that was because i only had 1 child with me.

Shellbelle
December 14th, 2012, 08:56 PM
I love my ring slings. The other carriers, not so much. I'm the opposite of spinning -- the two shouldered front/back carriers just don't fit me or my lifestyle well. And I second the babywearer.com recommendation. If you have friends that have carriers, or a baby store nearby that sells different styles, it really helps to be able to try them out and get advice on how to carry in the ring or pouch/sling-style carriers.

Funwithfive
December 14th, 2012, 09:00 PM
TTP good luck tomorrow on your scan!!

spinningmadly
December 14th, 2012, 09:13 PM
Yes I know our area there is even a baby wearing group where people will get together and you can try different ones. I think body type and fit etc matter !

spinningmadly
December 14th, 2012, 10:50 PM
TTP- what time is your scan??

TT_3814
December 14th, 2012, 10:56 PM
DS3 is in Kinder, I scooped him up as soon as he got out and couldn't get home fast enough. :( My heart hurts for those poor families and they're in my prayers..

TT_3814
December 14th, 2012, 10:59 PM
Good luck and healthy baby vibes tomorrow, TTP!

suregena
December 15th, 2012, 12:11 AM
I did feel some early movement with this one at 14 weeks but it's really rare I feel anything at all! It's hardly ever. By now my son was a daily mover and I could feel it but this one is so different. Is it just because maybe I have more room in my uterus? I don't get it.

Bimby
December 15th, 2012, 04:16 AM
Suregena my baby is the same. I felt something early on around 14 weeks and then nothing for weeks and now I may get a day where I feel bubs 4 or so times but then I go a few days with nothing.. I dont know why. I mean I know my placenta is in front but Im sure I was feeling DS2 by 17 weeks all the time and I had an anterior placenta like him. Maybe it is more all over this time. I really dont know. Sucks as I really dont want to use my doppler but I have no idea if bubs is ok in there and I get nervous. Just know you are not alone :) Im sure our babies are fine x

Cinss
December 15th, 2012, 04:43 AM
I only feel bubs when im slouched over on the computer, and its always to the side never at the front.

Lassie1982
December 15th, 2012, 04:54 AM
is anyone else totally shaken by this school shooting?

so glad we homeschool right now

Completely heartbreaking. Made me feel physically sick. I just have no words really. I break out in goosebumps whenever I think of it.
I cannot fathom the heartbreak those families are feeling.
I think letting your heart walk out the door every day is one of the hardest parts of being a parent.

What is even sadder though is that this will happen again, and again, until serious reforms are made to weapon laws. Yet the law makers are quoted as saying that "now is not the time" really?!!?! Actually you know what, they are right, NOW isn't the time, the time was 60 or so years ago, when the rest of the civilised world introduced legislative weapon controls.
You can't change the fact that people will have mental illnesses, and will want to do unspeakable things. What you CAN change though is the fact that anyone can buy any deadly weapon, at any time, with which to create mass murder. Which is why I don't subscribe to the saying 'guns don't kill, it's insane people who kill' you will never be able to take the insane out of people, but you can take guns away, which means the insane will have lesser means by which to commit such atrocities.
It's not an accident, or a coincidence that in countries where weapons laws are strict (like Australia and Sweden) have significantly lower crime rates, and significantly lowers firearms deaths, and of course no massacres like what the states seem to have more and more often.
(For example, in Australia the firearm death per 100,000 is 1.04, in the states it's 10.80.....that's over 10 times higher!!!!) and no people aren't dying left right and centre because they 'don't have guns to protect themselves' in fact the crime rates are significantly lower!

The person guilty for the deaths of those children is the man who pulled the trigger, but blood is also on the hands of the government and law makers that refuse, despite massacre after massacre, to protect the greater population.

Those horrendously realistic shooting games that kids/teenagers spend hours playing don't help society either, it desensitises them from death, and for those susceptible to mental issues it blurs the lines between reality and virtual.
I'm very old school, but there is no game, or fun, or triviality in shooting, murder.
I have a very strict no toy guns in my home, DS never has, and never will own a toy gun, he will not ever pretend to shoot and murder, because that's not a game, never should be, and never will be.

I'll get off my soapbox now.....

spinningmadly
December 15th, 2012, 08:27 AM
See we used to be strict with toy guns too but ds1 would just make them out of sandwiches and sticks lol but banning them just turned into more of a obsession bc he couldn't have them. I actually talked to our pediatrician about it and she agreed.
So I let him have one but he's not allowed to shoot it at people and he knows that
I agree, too many "games" with killing people. It's not a game.
but I also talk to Ds1, a lot about guns, and what to do if a friend has one or if he's in a house with one. Hes little but the reality is ,you never know if they are playing at someones house and the parents didn't lock theirs up...

spinningmadly
December 15th, 2012, 08:28 AM
I am finally feeling the a baby a little more now too! And also when I'm sitting. Never laying down which Is weird

Shellbelle
December 15th, 2012, 09:11 AM
I'm still not feeling it much -- the occasional slither or bubble, but I was feeling my last one regularly by now. I'm relieved to know that I'm not the only one. It's been making me nervous.

Rosie85
December 15th, 2012, 10:26 AM
Oh lassie I wish you could help me talk sense I to people here. They keep saying its not lack of gun control. I call BS on that. You my friend are right...100% right. It is no coincidence that where you live is safer than where I live.

Turning the page
December 15th, 2012, 11:23 AM
Looks like we are having a little GIRL!!!
Thanks everyone for your support!

7265

Shellbelle
December 15th, 2012, 11:28 AM
Congrats!!! I was hoping you would update soon!

Rosie85
December 15th, 2012, 11:39 AM
Congrats ttp!

Bimby
December 15th, 2012, 11:53 AM
Congratulations TTP!!!!! So very happy for you!! I hope that brought you a smile on this rather dark day.
It certainly made me smile and not much has today :) Happy Shopping :):)

spinningmadly
December 15th, 2012, 12:12 PM
Yay!!! Congrats!!

Funwithfive
December 15th, 2012, 12:57 PM
Big congrats!!!

Brandles
December 15th, 2012, 01:29 PM
Congratulations TTP!!!! So happy for you... Have fun shopping!!!


I'm still not feeling it much -- the occasional slither or bubble, but I was feeling my last one regularly by now. I'm relieved to know that I'm not the only one. It's been making me nervous.

Shell, I'm still not feeling much either. Little movements here and there, but definitely nothing regular. I totally remember feeling ds3 a lot more by now. I've been totally freaked out and checking her hb almost daily now. The other day I was so freaked out I started crying. I couldn't find her hb... It took me a good 10 minutes to find it. Scared the crap out of me.

suregena
December 15th, 2012, 01:51 PM
I'm barely feeling anything at all. Like... really, at all. I think the last movement I felt was ONCE on the PLANE! That's it since. It's driving me crazy. My husband lands today and I told him to bring my doppler......

ThreeMenAndALAdy
December 15th, 2012, 01:54 PM
I am almost 21 weeks and don't feel much movement at all!!! Stupid anterior placenta...lol

Turning the page
December 15th, 2012, 02:05 PM
I wanted to add that I have not felt a whole lot of movement out of this one, either. (And oddly, I have a *posterior* placenta.) Especially compared to my wild-child DS, which felt like he was rocking it Gangnam style from week 14 on!! :D
However, at the scan today, she was kicking, squirming, flipping, and turning so fast that the sonographer kept commenting, "This baby is on fire!" It took her almost 30 minutes to find "confirmable" girl parts...we'd see something for a nanosecond, then she would shimmy to the other side of my uterus. Quite entertaining...but a little anxiety-provoking, as I was hoping for a more "laid-back" newborn this time around--HA!

TT_3814
December 15th, 2012, 04:01 PM
Congrats TTP! :)

NCBeachyGrl
December 15th, 2012, 04:30 PM
Hi ladies! Man...have I missed a lot or what??? I am so sorry to have been gone for so long. I got caught up in x-mas and now this shooting just has me all upset and emotional. I just wish there was something I could do. I feel so sad and helpless. It has definitely been such an eye opener and I have a new found grasp on how precious life is...especially every child out there.

Congrats to all who have found out about gender! I am going to go an update the main page now!

Shellbelle
December 15th, 2012, 04:35 PM
Hi ladies! Man...have I missed a lot or what??? I am so sorry to have been gone for so long. I got caught up in x-mas and now this shooting just has me all upset and emotional. I just wish there was something I could do. I feel so sad and helpless. It has definitely been such an eye opener and I have a new found grasp on how precious life is...especially every child out there.

Congrats to all who have found out about gender! I am going to go an update the main page now!

Thanks for checking in! I was starting to worry about you!

NCBeachyGrl
December 15th, 2012, 04:41 PM
My kids have kept me SO busy and getting everything in order for xmas has been crazy! DH has been working crazy hours and it has mostly been just me. I seem to have lost all time during the days for anything!!

Congrats on your boy Shellbell have you picked a name yet?

Shellbelle
December 15th, 2012, 04:57 PM
My kids have kept me SO busy and getting everything in order for xmas has been crazy! DH has been working crazy hours and it has mostly been just me. I seem to have lost all time during the days for anything!!

Congrats on your boy Shellbell have you picked a name yet?

Thanks! We're pretty sure he will be Harrison.

NCBeachyGrl
December 15th, 2012, 05:07 PM
Aww...that will be so cute! I can't believe we are all so far along now. Time has seriously flown by!

Cinss
December 15th, 2012, 05:13 PM
Congratulations on the little girl ttp!

Lassie1982
December 15th, 2012, 05:18 PM
Congrats on the girl TTP :)

spinningmadly
December 15th, 2012, 05:25 PM
ugh so speaking of sickness. my sil and my mom (who is staying there) along with her twins are all sick. my sil i think had the flu or something close to

well my brother had it earlier in the week and was barely sick and my nephew too . for like a day
but they stopped by today unexpectedly. i was kind of irritated. i made the kids and i washed my hands after they left. but i hope they didnt give us any germs. my brother kept sayin they havent been sick for days and arent contagious. but im freaking pregnant AGAIN and paranoid. ughhhh

Shellbelle
December 15th, 2012, 06:19 PM
Ugh! That drives me crazy! I hope no one gets sick!

hotdogz&boyz
December 15th, 2012, 06:31 PM
Hi ladies. Just checking in. I have been avoiding the Internet since yesterday. I am just ill over what happened in CT and am too emotional to see all about it (selfish I know, but it just makes me cry). Will check back in a few days. Hoping everyone is well :)

spinningmadly
December 15th, 2012, 08:08 PM
NOW I felt an actual moving baby!!!!!!!! woohoo finally

Rosie85
December 15th, 2012, 08:46 PM
woohoo Spinning! Move baby move!

I feel my little bub quite often now, he seems to sleep a lot but when he does move I feel everything. He loves to kick y bladder and lower regions. I am in the bathroom peeing a lot! haha

spinningmadly
December 15th, 2012, 08:52 PM
It's always when I'm sitting up. Which is weird bc ds1 I always felt more when I was laying down.

spinningmadly
December 15th, 2012, 08:53 PM
My Christmas nails I did today

7286

mrshonyez
December 15th, 2012, 10:51 PM
Are those Jamberrys? :) cute!

Congratulations to the ladies who have recently found out the genders!! I still pop on every day to check in on everyone, I just don't get a chance to post very often. Hope everyone is doing alright!

spinningmadly
December 15th, 2012, 10:53 PM
Haha yes they are. My first time doing them. Ds1 and ds2 made me do it to them too

mrshonyez
December 15th, 2012, 11:30 PM
Aww lol! I'm a consultant for them, my DS1 always begs me to do it to him too haha! Or he'll hear me with the blow dryer and ask if I'm putting my nails on :)

spinningmadly
December 15th, 2012, 11:40 PM
Lol. Thats funny. I was ok at It. My friend said shed come help me next time. The tips on some dont seem on great

spinningmadly
December 15th, 2012, 11:47 PM
Baby hands
7287

mrshonyez
December 15th, 2012, 11:58 PM
That's too darn cute!! Yeah it took me a few times to get them on good.

Lassie1982
December 16th, 2012, 04:41 AM
Oh lassie I wish you could help me talk sense I to people here. They keep saying its not lack of gun control. I call BS on that. You my friend are right...100% right. It is no coincidence that where you live is safer than where I live.

if only more people thought like you Rosie, there would considerably less innocent deaths....just under 12,000 per year to be exact.
The states now have other nation begging them to act aswell, hopefully they will.

Lassie1982
December 16th, 2012, 04:44 AM
ive been feeling movements for a couple of weeks now, and have an anterior placentas, i think it just depends on the position of the uterus. Most movements are either lying flat on my back, or driving!

DH felt a first movement yesturday morning, but i was lying flat on my back, with a very very full bladder, and it was brief....cant wait till he can feel big kicks

Grace
December 16th, 2012, 06:41 AM
woohoo Spinning! Move baby move!

I feel my little bub quite often now, he seems to sleep a lot but when he does move I feel everything. He loves to kick y bladder and lower regions. I am in the bathroom peeing a lot! haha


Same here! Sometimes he kicks my bladder so hard, I have to drop everything and run to the bathroom! So tiny and already demanding my attention..

mrshonyez
December 16th, 2012, 01:04 PM
Same here! Sometimes he kicks my bladder so hard, I have to drop everything and run to the bathroom! So tiny and already demanding my attention..

I have been having lots of BH contractions for a while now, and every time I have one while standing up, I have to run to the bathroom too lol.

Grace
December 16th, 2012, 02:07 PM
Mrshonyez, I was wondering if it's not to soon for BH contractions. I think I've been having them too

mrshonyez
December 16th, 2012, 02:32 PM
I had them early on with DS2 and this one. They're not painful or anything, but my whole belly tightens up and feels like a boulder in front of me lol.

spinningmadly
December 16th, 2012, 02:35 PM
I had painful ones with ds2 from about 30 weeks on. It was awful everyone told me I'd know when I was in labor. And I really didn't until I was pretty far into it I was so used to ctx. We made it to the birth center and he came out 10 minutes later :)

Rosie85
December 16th, 2012, 03:46 PM
I have had Braxton hicks too, starting a few weeks ago. It's weird to think we are that far along already!

suregena
December 16th, 2012, 05:19 PM
Yeah... she's posterior like my son was, but I felt my son daily from 15 weeks onwards. I've felt a little movement at 14 weeks but hardly anything at all much since. I know she's okay because my husband just got here to America last night and I had him bring my doppler and I checked today... and her heartbeat was louder then ever before so she's a-okay, but sheesh! Can't wait to feel her moving properly... it's crazy I'm not yet!

mrshonyez
December 17th, 2012, 12:30 AM
Wow spinning!! Good thing y'all made it in time!
Ugh, so I feel like I'm coming down with a cold or something :( of course it would be right before Christmas too! Luckily DH has leave for the next two weeks though, so I won't be here alone and sick trying to take care of the boys.

spinningmadly
December 17th, 2012, 07:18 AM
Blechhh this is too early to get up for a scan !

spinningmadly
December 17th, 2012, 08:18 AM
One of the radio stations around here, really the only one which I commend them for, dedicated the morning to the victims and teachers (didnt mention the shooter). It made me cry the whole way to my appt :(

Bimby
December 17th, 2012, 09:08 AM
I have avoided the tv/radio as I dont want to know about him. I'm so glad some media are getting the message that we need to remember the lost innocent souls and not give any publicity to that scum! This is what helps feed the other scum in society.. Anyway I hope you're doing ok now. Sooooooo how was your scan today?? Was everything ok?? Been thinking of you x

Shellbelle
December 17th, 2012, 09:21 AM
We have been avoiding the tv and radio, too. The sensationalism and their tendency to report stuff a fact before they have any proof makes me sick. I would rather them focus on the victims, too, but some of what I've read and seen feels almost like exploitation.

Spinning, good luck on your scan this morning!

I woke up to spotting again. According to the Doppler, we still have a good hb. I guess I need to be prepared to just spot this whole pregnancy, but it still freaks me out.

Bimby
December 17th, 2012, 09:28 AM
Thats no good Shell, I hope youre ok?? Ive had spotting on and off this time too but it seems to happen 3 or 4 days after BD so seems to be related to that. Has your Ob or Midwife said what could be causing you to spot? Hope it eases off, make sure you try and take it easy :)

Shellbelle
December 17th, 2012, 09:34 AM
Lol, there's no bd going on in this house -- dh works out on the pipeline and has been gone for two weeks. ;) My dr hasn't actually been very helpful about it. "It just happens" is all she says. It seems to happen when I'm on my feet too much. Yesterday I did some cleaning so maybe that is what kicked it off. For a few weeks, I spotted pretty heavily every time I went to the grocery store (all the walking maybe?). Today it's light, but it still bothers me -- and it bothers me even more that my dr won't listen to my concerns.

I would switch drs but we live in a small, pretty isolated town, so my choices are very limited. The closest specialist is 2 hours away.

spinningmadly
December 17th, 2012, 10:00 AM
I quit having kids. They think trisomy 13. Brain heart issues. I'm done. It's not fair

Shellbelle
December 17th, 2012, 10:05 AM
I quit having kids. They think trisomy 13. Brain heart issues. I'm done. It's not fair

What??? This is just now being seen??? What are they recommending as far as further testing goes? I'm so sorry, spinning. I pray that you will find out that they were false markers and there's nothing wrong with your sweet girl.

Shellbelle
December 17th, 2012, 10:14 AM
Spinning, is someone there with you? :( I wish we could give you a hug and help out with the boys today.

spinningmadly
December 17th, 2012, 10:28 AM
No it's even if it's not trisomy 13 there are serious issues. I've been stuck Ina nightmare for like a year

Shellbelle
December 17th, 2012, 10:32 AM
No it's even if it's not trisomy 13 there are serious issues. I've been stuck Ina nightmare for like a year

I am so, so sorry. Please know that we're here to listen if you want to talk.

sugarNspice
December 17th, 2012, 10:47 AM
Spinning,

I just wanted to let you know that you're not alone, and that I am so so sorry to hear your news. I just lost a much wished-for, much hoped-for :DD: at 18 weeks (she was found to have died some time before my anatomy scan), after multiple losses (some chromosomal, some unknown). So I do know how it feels to hear unthinkably bad news at an ultrasound. It is one of the saddest and hardest things I've ever experienced.

I have no advice for you, except to say that everyone tells me to wait and grieve before making any decisions, and this seems like a good idea. Sometimes I too think we are done having kids, and sometimes I want to be pregnant so badly I can't sleep or sit still. I do believe the sadness will ease in time, and I also think (hope!) that knowing I am not the only person to go through something like this and survive it makes it easier to bear.

I am so lucky in that i already have two beautiful children, and on some level, I know our lives will be okay even if #3 is not to be. Holding them, kissing them, keeping them close to me--these are all things that bring me comfort.

Hugs to you.

homebirthing princess
December 17th, 2012, 11:08 AM
Spinning iam so sorry sweetheart :( I really don't know what to say, like shell said wish we were there with you!! So what happens now do they run more tests??
Huge hugs xxxx

coocoobananas
December 17th, 2012, 11:11 AM
No it's even if it's not trisomy 13 there are serious issues. I've been stuck Ina nightmare for like a year

What? Omg!!! Spinning, I am so so sorry and sorry that I have no words. Life is completely unfair and it seems so much harder on some than others. This shouldn't be happening to you and again. Thinking of you.

ThreeMenAndALAdy
December 17th, 2012, 11:12 AM
I can't understand this!!! I don't know what to say. This is absolutely terrible.

spinningmadly
December 17th, 2012, 11:13 AM
This is the second time In a row . Apparently I just have crappy luck.
They are testing for trisomy 13 If it's not they are going to do all sorts of tests

He said we would do Cvs next time but If there is a next time I'd just do ht and test ahead of time.

I'm only 29 so I don't get it

homebirthing princess
December 17th, 2012, 11:14 AM
So so unfair, my heart is breaking for you xx

ThreeMenAndALAdy
December 17th, 2012, 11:18 AM
So does this mean the pregnancy is over? I can't wrap my head around this.

spinningmadly
December 17th, 2012, 11:52 AM
It's up to me. It will probably end on its own and I would never consider this before but I want to just terminate this time. This is the second time in 7 months. I can't do this again . Deliver a dead baby I just can't. Every kick I feel I want it to go away . It sounds awful but twice in a row I can't mentally do it

spinningmadly
December 17th, 2012, 11:53 AM
What they are sure of is that there are serious issues. These aren't just soft markers

suregena
December 17th, 2012, 11:57 AM
Oh my God, spinning... I can't believe this. I don't even know what to say... oh my God... you don't deserve this at all....

Shellbelle
December 17th, 2012, 12:11 PM
It's up to me. It will probably end on its own and I would never consider this before but I want to just terminate this time. This is the second time in 7 months. I can't do this again . Deliver a dead baby I just can't. Every kick I feel I want it to go away . It sounds awful but twice in a row I can't mentally do it

You don't sound awful. You sound like a mom who is grieving. :(

spinningmadly
December 17th, 2012, 12:20 PM
Maybe I'm just a crappy person who deserves bad things happening

suregena
December 17th, 2012, 12:21 PM
Maybe I'm just a crappy person who deserves bad things happening

ABSOLUTELY NOT!!!

homebirthing princess
December 17th, 2012, 12:32 PM
No spinning that is not true! Life can be a complete bi*ch iam so so sorry you have to go through this again it is just not fair :( xx and I think we can all say what ever u choose to do we will support u through it the best we can!
Oh sweetheart.......... Xxxxxxxxxx

Shellbelle
December 17th, 2012, 12:32 PM
Maybe I'm just a crappy person who deserves bad things happening

You are a wonderful person. There is something wrong here, but its not because of something you did or didn't do. This is not your fault.

ThreeMenAndALAdy
December 17th, 2012, 12:33 PM
You're a wonderful person Spinning. And you don't deserve any of this!!! We've all come to know and care about you. I wish the events of today never happened. You are a fantastic mother. After going through such a traumatic experience with your first dd, you were brave and strong enough to try again. I don't know why lightning struck twice, but I do know that you deserve a healthy little girl. Just know we are here for you. And who you are has nothing to do with what has happened. We love you Spinning.

Lassie1982
December 17th, 2012, 01:14 PM
Oh no spinning, I can't believe this, not again.
My heart truly goes out to you and I and I am wishing you every strength, I hope you have family close by to support you through this whatever the outcome.
I'm sorry, just so so sorry :(

Tiffani3
December 17th, 2012, 01:47 PM
Oh sweetie I'm so so sorry I can't believe this has happened to you again. My heart is breaking for you. We all love you and are completely here for you xx

spinningmadly
December 17th, 2012, 02:16 PM
I just really feel like I am being punished for worrying so much about gender

ThreeMenAndALAdy
December 17th, 2012, 02:21 PM
No way Spinning. Wanting one gender or the other isn't a crime. And to get pregnant with a dd only to lose her half way through would fuel anybody's desire for another one. You're not being punished, this just isn't right.

sugarNspice
December 17th, 2012, 02:28 PM
Spinning--I just want to say that I think I've felt everything you've posted on here today: that I must be a terrible person for this to have happened in my life, that I am somehow being punished for having wanted another DD so much, that I have had more bad luck than should be due me. I think all of these thoughts are just a normal part of the grieving process, and not at all a sign that you've done anything wrong or that you're at fault in any way.
After all, everyone on here wishes for a healthy baby of their DG--no matter what people may say, wishing for a girl or boy is a common, normal, nearly universal human wish. It is not the cause of chromosomal problems in babies.

hotdogz&boyz
December 17th, 2012, 02:44 PM
I am crying for you Spinning. It's not fair. It absolutely sucks. I am so angry for this happening to you again. I wish I knew elegant words of comfort, but I don't. You don't deserve this, no way, no how.

3blue2013
December 17th, 2012, 02:57 PM
I'm so sorry, Spinning. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

3boys
December 17th, 2012, 04:04 PM
Spinning I am so so sorry

OneLastDream
December 17th, 2012, 04:36 PM
Spinning - I am so very very sorry xx wish I could do something to make this not be happening x

Mrs_P
December 17th, 2012, 04:43 PM
Spinning, i don't even know what to say - i put off this post all night hoping the news would change or i'd come up with something that would ease the pain a little. I am so so sorry for you that you are having to go through all of this again. I really hope there has been some mistake or that they can do something for you both. My heart goes out to you and your family x

Rosie85
December 17th, 2012, 04:48 PM
Oh spinning, I can't stop crying. Life can be so unfair. Like everyone else I am so truly sorry you are experiencing this again. So so so unfair. I am angry you have to go through this, that anyone does. Thinking of you, I wish I could hug you. Gosh I just don't know what to say, please don't blame yourself though, it is nothing you did or didn't do..

Funwithfive
December 17th, 2012, 04:51 PM
Spinning - words aren't enough! Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers!! I am so sad with you.

3girlsinarow
December 17th, 2012, 05:03 PM
I quit having kids. They think trisomy 13. Brain heart issues. I'm done. It's not fair


Oh, Spinning, I am so so so sorry. Like others have said, there are really no words that could sum up what I want to say but please know I am praying for you, your baby, and your family.

Cinss
December 17th, 2012, 05:08 PM
Spinning i am so so sorry. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

Brandles
December 17th, 2012, 06:32 PM
I don't know what's wrong with my phone, but I feel like I've posted over 3 times now and it's still not showing up. So I apologize if these are repeat posts.

Spinning, I am so deeply sorry to hear your news. My heart is aching for you right now. This is just so unfair and you do not deserve to be dealing with this again. You, your family and your sweet baby girl are in my thoughts and prayers. I'm sorry if you've already mentioned this before, but what testing have you done so far... and was it the AFP test or just the ultrasound from today that they're going off of? Sending you lots of love and hugs too! Xoxo

dramabird
December 17th, 2012, 06:57 PM
So incredibly, incredibly sorry, spinning. :(

Butterfly Spirit
December 17th, 2012, 07:44 PM
:HH: Dear Spinning lady, I am so very very sorry. :( I will keep you and your sweet family in my thoughts and prayers :awe:
7335

Bimby
December 17th, 2012, 07:57 PM
Oh sh*t Spinning, that is just not effing fair!!!!! You are not being punished but I understand you must feel that way but please don't, its just a horrible situation and I dont know why you are suffering again, I have no words for that but it's nothing you have done I know that is certain! I wish I could come and comfort you in person as these typed words probably dont mean alot right now. Please know I am thinking of you and if you need to vent and be pi**ed then please do that here as you know we are here for you :(:(:(xoxox

mrshonyez
December 17th, 2012, 08:46 PM
I agree with everyone else... It's definitely not your fault, or anything you've done! I'm SO SO sorry Spinning, I cannot believe this is happening to you! I have no words... :(

spinningmadly
December 17th, 2012, 08:58 PM
its the ultrasound and they are sure about the Holoprosencephaly and thats just not compatible with life.
they did the amnio rushed it but hes pretty certain , well certain its a genetic defect.

Brandles
December 17th, 2012, 09:16 PM
its the ultrasound and they are sure about the Holoprosencephaly and thats just not compatible with life.
they did the amnio rushed it but hes pretty certain , well certain its a genetic defect.

Oh goodness, Spinning. Again, I'm so deeply saddened by this news. I can't stop thinking about you. Is there a reason why this wasn't caught on the NT scan or other ultrasounds or screening tests? Please don't be so hard on yourself momma. We are all here for you and there are many thoughts and prayers coming your way.

Cinss
December 17th, 2012, 09:32 PM
Spinning i cant stop thinking about you, i am on the verge of tears all day just knowing your story. I hope you will be ok.

Rosie85
December 17th, 2012, 09:52 PM
spinning, she looks so very normal in your ultrasound picture. I don't get why they didn't see this sooner. I am so heartbroken for you. Is there any chance the Holoprosencephaly is a mild case? I might be grasping at straws for you but you just don't deserve for this to happen to your baby. They must be mistaken, that must be someone elses baby :tissue:

Princess of Pink
December 17th, 2012, 10:08 PM
I am so so sorry spinning, my heart goes out to you and your family....nobody deserves this, much less it happening twice. I am sending you strength and love, that you can get though this difficult time.

spinningmadly
December 17th, 2012, 10:09 PM
its just not caught before now because the brain and other organs are just too small to see it. my friend said she did see a massive change between 15-16 weeks with the brain and that is normally when it shows up and because it gets bigger. which is why anatomy scans arent usually done until 16 weeks at the earliest.
it just appears to us now but when its formed is like within the first 12 days, hence a genetic defect.
rosie- i wish that was the case. there is no mild form. while i understand some would be ok to try to carry to term and to sit with a baby in a hospital for 2 months in a nicu. I just cannot do that at this time in my life. my kids have seen this twice now and i get so sick wtih each pregnancy i am missing out on their lives. I need to move on and i feel like i need to do that now. I know what its like to walk around like a zombie hoping and wishing and googling and ive done that once im not doing it again its not fair to anyone around me. i can say i have searched and its not a good thing in anyway and also the echogenic kidney apparently means multicystic (not functioning) and he wasnt even sure if he saw a second kidney. Things are just crappy. But for some reason my body just stopped having healthy kids on its own.

spinningmadly
December 17th, 2012, 10:11 PM
the fact that the baby doesnt have severe deformities *although he thought he saw midline cleft which is also in accordance with this issue) made it hard. but the brain issue is a brain issue, I have googled and its just not misdiagnosed usually. Or ever really.
My midwife has known my peri forever and said hes not he type to jump the gun if he wasnt positive he would have said lets wait and see but with what he said he was positive these are severe issues regardless of trisomy :(

TT_3814
December 17th, 2012, 10:23 PM
Spinning~ There just aren't enough words... ((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))) :( I am so sorry, you in no way deserve this and I'll be praying for you and your family. My heart is in pieces for you and your sweet baby girl, much love to you right now..

Bimby
December 17th, 2012, 10:33 PM
Spinning my heart is breaking for you right now :( Did they say why the blood tests didnt indicate anything at 12 weeks or is that tested for something else? I wish I could say something to make it less painful for you :( xx

Rosie85
December 17th, 2012, 10:48 PM
Spinning, you are so so brave. It sounds like you have thought it through. I agree, it just isn't fair, not to you, your husband, your boys or that poor baby girl. A brain issue is a serious matter and if doc is sure that would be good enough for me. Life is hard as it is, no need to make anyone suffer through worse when there is sadly no happy ending :-( If they thought they could be wrong it might be different. Big big hugs to you. Thinking of you and your family constantly.

spinningmadly
December 17th, 2012, 10:57 PM
bimby from what i gather the tests only did triomy 18 and downs

Bimby
December 17th, 2012, 11:17 PM
Oh ok, I'll try and dig out my test results to see but maybe its different here as I thought they did T13, 18 & 21 with the bloods?? It doesnt change anything I know I am just trying to make sense of it all for you I guess :( xx

spinningmadly
December 18th, 2012, 12:24 AM
She said here they don't and regardless my Mw doesn't consider screenings Too definitive too many normal with abnormal and vice versa.
However she did just read me the u/s report from the peri. A lot is wrong seriously. A long list. With hands too. And face, eyes .So.. In accordance w trisomy 13

Bimby
December 18th, 2012, 12:36 AM
Oh hunny :(... so where to from here?? When do they anticipate the results to come back from the amnio? Do they have a counsellor that you can talk to?? I just feel so hopeless over here, I really just wanna be there to give you a big hug :(

spinningmadly
December 18th, 2012, 12:46 AM
We have chosen to induce. Ugh ive had twice as many labors now then take home kids.
I will be needing a serious long appointment with a genetic counselor. But prelim talks with them have made it seem as though they recommend pgd or if we don't want to do that def a Cvs next time but that wouldn't change anything, ya know? Just tell us a few weeks earlier

spinningmadly
December 18th, 2012, 12:54 AM
I don't feel like I belong in this due date thread anymore :(

Bimby
December 18th, 2012, 12:59 AM
Oh no!! Please dont feel like that :( Obviously coming here will be hard on you as the time progresses and I understand if you need to be away from here but please dont feel like you dont belong!! I am just pi**ed that this is happening to someone on here, you were the last person I wanted to see being put through this :(

Cinss
December 18th, 2012, 01:18 AM
I don't feel like I belong in this due date thread anymore :(

You do belong here. All of us are your friends and we care about you and what is going on with your pregnancy.

suregena
December 18th, 2012, 01:44 AM
I'm just so heartbroken over this. I still just am speechless. :( I echo everything everyone else has said.

spinningmadly
December 18th, 2012, 04:31 AM
For anyone who is wondering. I delivered her tonight. I could not bear to see her as she was not like my other dd. I am sorry if that sounds insensitive but for anyone who doesn't know my history i just held a dead baby 7 months ago.
On another note baby had definite issues. Midline cleft. One of the hands the fingers were too short. There was very mild ononcephale (not enough to see on u/s). Eyes wide set and nose wide. Head had lots of fluid she said was about twice as big as should have been. So I have no doubt that this baby had serious issues. It was extremely painful as baby came out breech and head was stuck because of the size. We talked about u/s but all this stuff is just too early to see before 16 weeks. Thanks for your thoughts and prayers .

Tiffani3
December 18th, 2012, 04:53 AM
Sending you all my love,
I'm so sorry you have had to go through this. So heartbreaking and unfair xx

Bimby
December 18th, 2012, 04:57 AM
My heart is breaking for you during this difficult time and no-one is judging you sweets. Sending you and your family strength and love to get you through. Know I am thinking of you xoxox

OneLastDream
December 18th, 2012, 05:10 AM
For anyone who is wondering. I delivered her tonight. I could not bear to see her as she was not like my other dd. I am sorry if that sounds insensitive but for anyone who doesn't know my history i just held a dead baby 7 months ago.
On another note baby had definite issues. Midline cleft. One of the hands the fingers were too short. There was very mild ononcephale (not enough to see on u/s). Eyes wide set and nose wide. Head had lots of fluid she said was about twice as big as should have been. So I have no doubt that this baby had serious issues. It was extremely painful as baby came out breech and head was stuck because of the size. We talked about u/s but all this stuff is just too early to see before 16 weeks. Thanks for your thoughts and prayers .

I am so so sorry xxxx sending ou lots of love and hugs xxxx no one should ever have to go through what you have - I have no words xxxx

ynwa
December 18th, 2012, 05:17 AM
For anyone who is wondering. I delivered her tonight. I could not bear to see her as she was not like my other dd. I am sorry if that sounds insensitive but for anyone who doesn't know my history i just held a dead baby 7 months ago.
On another note baby had definite issues. Midline cleft. One of the hands the fingers were too short. There was very mild ononcephale (not enough to see on u/s). Eyes wide set and nose wide. Head had lots of fluid she said was about twice as big as should have been. So I have no doubt that this baby had serious issues. It was extremely painful as baby came out breech and head was stuck because of the size. We talked about u/s but all this stuff is just too early to see before 16 weeks. Thanks for your thoughts and prayers .
Heartbreaking

Lassie1982
December 18th, 2012, 05:23 AM
Spinning I am so sorry for your pain. You sound incredibly strong.
I hope this passes for you as quickly as it can and that someday, somehow, you hold a healthy newborn dd in your arms

Don't burden yourself with thoughts of guilt, this IS NOT your fault, this has nothing to do with desires, it's not possible that your desires were able to alter the genetic makeup of an embryo, this is not your fault, and you have nothing to feel guilty for.

And you are as a much a member of this group as anyone else, we are all here to support and love no matter what

Sending you all my thoughts and best wishes xo

Cinss
December 18th, 2012, 05:29 AM
I hope you are ok Spinning, i am shattered reading your words. I'm so sorry for your loss.

EmmyRoo
December 18th, 2012, 05:45 AM
I'm sorry to intrude but I saw this post in the homepage feed and I had to come on to just say how absolutely devastated I am for you. I cannot imagine what you are going through just now Spinning, I am so deeply sorry. I hope you are being well supported by family and friends, I can see that the other ladies on this thread are being lovely. I hope and pray things work out for you and you get your longed-for DD one day.
x

luckylass
December 18th, 2012, 05:49 AM
Spinning hadn't been in here in a couple of days until last night but was so upset after reading what you are going through I couldn't even think what to reply. I am still at a loss for words but wanted to let you know my heart is so broken for you and your family. You are such a brave woman and I really wish there was something we could all do to take this pain from you but unfortunately we can't. If it too hard to be hear then it is understandable but like everyone posted above if you want to talk everyone is here for you. (((((hugs))))

3boyshopingforpink
December 18th, 2012, 05:58 AM
Absolutely heartbreaking.
I am so sorry for your loss. Thinking of you xxx

ThreeMenAndALAdy
December 18th, 2012, 06:18 AM
I can't believe how fast things have moved since yesterday. Oh my friend...I wish I was there to hold your hand and cry with you. I'm so sorry.

jark22
December 18th, 2012, 07:05 AM
I haven't been here in a little while and I was just coming back to check on everyone. Spinning- my heart is broken for you. I'm just in shock over your news and I wish I could give you a huge hug. No one should have to go through what you have ever- let alone twice in 7 months

Turning the page
December 18th, 2012, 08:01 AM
Spinning, I dreamt about you last night and woke up this morning with you on my mind. I don't know what to say, but please know that there are dozens of women around the world crying for you and lifting you up in their thoughts and prayers. We are here supporting you with everything we can, in words and in spirit. Please take care of yourself, and kiss your sweet boys. We are all grieving with you.

mummypink
December 18th, 2012, 08:42 AM
I'm so so sorry Spinning, I just can't believe it. You are in my thoughts and prayers, sending you a big hug and lots of love. xxxx

homebirthing princess
December 18th, 2012, 09:23 AM
Iam just so so sorry spinning my heart is breaking for you xxxxx

spinningmadly
December 18th, 2012, 09:42 AM
Thanks everyone for the nice thoughts. I'll let you all know when I hear the amnio results.

I am still happy for all of you.

I feel like our plans have changed, again but after the last time I gave up on planning. unfortunately, our only option in the future is HT
I dont see the point in trying when they say it might happen again and have a CVS at 12 weeks. Just to have to face the same decision , ykwim?

Shellbelle
December 18th, 2012, 09:46 AM
HT would be a great option. Would you be able to work with a local clinic?

My heart is hurting for you this morning, my friend.

spinningmadly
December 18th, 2012, 09:51 AM
I know I can locally as I know someone who did it for Cystic Fibrosis and it was sent to michigan for testing.

However I did briefly talk to NBP and I guess natura would be the best and most accurate way to do it. I just feel like its so over my head HT. but at the same I wanted to wait 1-2 years and I guess I feel like researching those 1-2 years would help the time go by.
I do want to wait the year though. And I know since my parents will be financially taking care of the HT , they also would want my body to recover.

Rosie85
December 18th, 2012, 09:54 AM
So sorry spinning. I hope your recovery and healing process goes well. We are all thinking of you. So glad you are looking to the future possibilities. You will one day have and hold your dd :-).

Grace
December 18th, 2012, 10:01 AM
Oh Spinning I'm so sorry for your loss! I just read the last few pages on this thread and couldn't believe my eyes! It's incredible how fast everything has happened- one minute you're anticipating your scan and the next your entire world turns upside down. It just isn't fair. Please try not to blame yourself, these things happen and many times for no apparent reason. When I lost a baby three years ago I felt just like you- confused, upset , it felt like I'm walking through thick fog, and just wanted to get over with that entire PG. Lucky for us baby stopped developing a few days after the first diagnosis so we didn't have to make any difficult decisions. Regardless, I agree with what Rosie said about life being hard enough as it is, so I'm pretty sure we would have terminated that PG anyway. Take care of yourself and your family, cherish your healthy boys and I'm sure we'll here good news from you in he future xxx

suregena
December 18th, 2012, 10:16 AM
Oh spinning. :( I hope they can figure out what's happening or why this keeps happening, and I'm glad that HT is an option for you. I'm just so heartbroken for you... on the verge of tears. I'm sending you the biggest hug from Arizona...

Sunshiner
December 18th, 2012, 10:41 AM
Spinning I am so deeply sorry, there are just no words...

luckylass
December 18th, 2012, 10:49 AM
So sorry spinning. I hope your recovery and healing process goes well. We are all thinking of you. So glad you are looking to the future possibilities. You will one day have and hold your dd :-).


This really says what I am thinking. So sorry spinning, please take care of yourself. :(

spinningmadly
December 18th, 2012, 11:33 AM
I feel bad for DH. More because I wanted to try again I feel like I put him through this a second time.

he doesnt say that of course just how I feel.

and also it was all so quick to him. I went to the dr and got the news and before he knew it was inducing. he didnt have all the convos with the drs .. etc.

mrshonyez
December 18th, 2012, 12:22 PM
I'm so sorry spinning, my heart just aches for you and your family. I don't even know what to say, it's just so unfair. I'm glad you can go HT later on though, and finally get your dd that you so deserve!

odd
December 18th, 2012, 12:34 PM
I'm so so so sorry for your loss - this is heartbreaking just to read!! :(

Tiffani3
December 18th, 2012, 01:42 PM
I feel bad for DH. More because I wanted to try again I feel like I put him through this a second time.

he doesnt say that of course just how I feel.

and also it was all so quick to him. I went to the dr and got the news and before he knew it was inducing. he didnt have all the convos with the drs .. etc.

Try not to put all this guilt on yourself sweetie it was all out of your control. Big hugs to you and your dh and of course your sweet boys. Xx

genieinabottle1
December 18th, 2012, 04:34 PM
Just wanted to stop in and say, I am so sorry spinning for what you are going through. None of us can really imagine how you're feeling now but just want to give my support for you. Sounds like you are a very strong woman, but I hope you have some good support over there IRL.

TT_3814
December 18th, 2012, 05:27 PM
Spinning, I'm just so sorry and heartbroken for you. :( I'll be keeping you and your family in my thoughts and prayers. Sending love your way.. xxxxxx

Bimby
December 18th, 2012, 06:22 PM
Spinning your DH will work through it all hon, try not to take that on too, just as long as you are both there for the other then everything will eventually start shining again. Take your time to heal, mentally and physically so you are ready for when you take your HT journey. thinking of you all as always xoxo

ThreeMenAndALAdy
December 18th, 2012, 08:17 PM
This thread feels so different to me now. It's hard to chat about topics relating to our own pregnancies when a friend is going through something so traumatic. After what took place in CT on Friday, and what's happened to Spinning I feel like I can't protect my children whether they are inside me, or out in the world. Life is so fragile. It's terrifying that things can change this quickly.

Spinning, you will be on my mind often. You have been for months now. We've been on your journey with you to get your dd. And we will be with you through this tough time of grief and healing. I hope you will take us along if and when you start your ht voyage. I do believe many of us share a special bond. The only thing that seperates us is distance. My thoughts are with you and your family. I'm here if you need me...

spinningmadly
December 18th, 2012, 09:14 PM
Thanks. I wanted to post but I wasn't sure if what I was posting or venting was pregnancy related anymore. But I wanted to since I've gotten so close with you all. It's different this time in the sense that we knew this baby was just not well and sick. I don't have the exact same feelings of wanting the baby back. However I am just so frustrated. That this happened twice. Either it is my fault and it's something I'm doing or it's not and it's genetic and I have no control
Over it , which doesn't make me feel any better to have no control. You know? It's just not fair that I've done this twice. Every other person on my street is pregnant and I'm just tired of having to be the statistic in the group. Why am I always in the 1%??

Cinss
December 18th, 2012, 09:34 PM
Its not your fault spinning. Do you have an appointment with a genettic counsillor yet or are you even going to bother with any of that now that you have decided to go ht?

Shellbelle
December 18th, 2012, 10:23 PM
Oh, spinning... It's just not fair. :(

Rosie85
December 18th, 2012, 11:55 PM
I am soo sick of everyone losing their babies this week. Why!!! Everytime I turn the computer on another person has had a miscarriage...late ones at that! With the shooting and too many people I care about losing their babies I feel like something has gone off in the world this week. I just want to cry. I am so heartbroken for everyone who is going through what they are. I wish I had a magic wand to fix everything.

hotdogz&boyz
December 19th, 2012, 12:09 AM
This thread feels so different to me now. It's hard to chat about topics relating to our own pregnancies when a friend is going through something so traumatic. After what took place in CT on Friday, and what's happened to Spinning I feel like I can't protect my children whether they are inside me, or out in the world. Life is so fragile. It's terrifying that things can change this quickly.

Spinning, you will be on my mind often. You have been for months now. We've been on your journey with you to get your dd. And we will be with you through this tough time of grief and healing. I hope you will take us along if and when you start your ht voyage. I do believe many of us share a special bond. The only thing that seperates us is distance. My thoughts are with you and your family. I'm here if you need me...

This. Entirely. I am just shattered for you spinning. I can't stop thinking about if I would be as strong as you. I can't stop being mad at the world for doing this to you twice. I just feel like a lot changed in such a short time and I can't catch up. Nor do I want to. I am just scared, saddened, and confused by this world we live in and what it can bring. My thoughts and prayers (if that is your thing) goes out to you. They are just from one person, but with all of us, I hope you feel a bit more love pouring your way.

luckylass
December 19th, 2012, 05:43 AM
Spinning just checking in to see how you are keeping on the off chance you read this? I am sure things are very hard for you at the moment but wanted to let you know you and your whole family are in my thoughts and prayers and I hope you are taking care of each other.

spinningmadly
December 19th, 2012, 09:14 AM
I wrote back and it deleted my message.
thanks. sometimes its hard to be on here and other times i just know I have crappy luck and it doesn't make me less happy for anyone else.

right now I am just trying to be there for my kids and not sit holed up in our room all depressed.

I know that the first thing DS1 said to DH when he told him the baby girl was sick again was "do we have to leave mommy alone in the room again now?" and I don't want it to be like that. The past year of both of their lives I've been either sick from pregnancy or recovering from stillbirth/mc or depressed.

This time around I am looking much more at the positive side. We could have found out much later as trisomy 13 babies usually do make it later, we could have ended up with a very very sick baby (and with all the issues ours had) probably suffered for a couple hours in the nicu and in my opinion ended up with harder decisions as to do we prolong the life or not. The dr's are finally admitting the other baby was not a fluke. And theres something going on. And it means that we can go HT (With ALL of my families support) which means I can get my girl and ensure this wouldn't happen again.

spinningmadly
December 19th, 2012, 10:15 AM
I am waiting for the amnio results.
They are supposed to be today at lunch time they said. ugh

luckylass
December 19th, 2012, 10:54 AM
Spinning so sorry for you but I admire your strength so much and hope that you manage to have an good christmas with your boys and husband. It sounds like you have a good man and two wonderful boys there. I don't really know what to say to you about the results but I am sorry you have to wait for them and go through all of this at all.

ThreeMenAndALAdy
December 19th, 2012, 02:45 PM
Ok ladies. As much as it hurts, I think we need to move forward with this thread.

A question for you...if you celebrate Christmas, are you done shopping for it? I'm running around like a mad lady trying to tie up the loose ends. Any gift in particular that your kids want this year?
My sons wants ipod touch's and my dd wants a nintendo ds. I'm trying to stay excited because I do love Christmas. I have a lot to be thankful for this year. For starters, I'm grateful to be due around the same time as all of you lovely ladies. I enjoy you all and hope you have a wonderful holiday, and happy, healthy New Year!!

TT_3814
December 19th, 2012, 03:01 PM
:HH: Spinning

We're done shopping. DH is pretty bummed because our finances took a pretty big hit this year but I keep reminding at least he still has his job, his friend/co-worker wasn't as lucky. It's not all about presents anyway and we have a lot to be grateful for. The boys really just wanted Call of Duty: Black Ops 2 and we have it waiting for them. Some clothes and a few educational books for DS3.

I hope 2013 brings peace, joy and love to all of you! xxx

Tiffani3
December 19th, 2012, 03:08 PM
Ok ladies. As much as it hurts, I think we need to move forward with this thread.

A question for you...if you celebrate Christmas, are you done shopping for it? I'm running around like a mad lady trying to tie up the loose ends. Any gift in particular that your kids want this year?
My sons wants ipod touch's and my dd wants a nintendo ds. I'm trying to stay excited because I do love Christmas. I have a lot to be thankful for this year. For starters, I'm grateful to be due around the same time as all of you lovely ladies. I enjoy you all and hope you have a wonderful holiday, and happy, healthy New Year!!

I've only just started shopping today! Have had this horrible sickness bug for three days thank god it seems to have gone today!!

I got my older 2 the new Nintendo wii console thing to share, but super stuck on what to get ds3 he has so many toys already! I've also picked up a few games that they can all play together arrgh so stuck! x

Brandles
December 19th, 2012, 03:20 PM
For the most part we're done shopping. I just need to get some odds and ends and stocking stuffers. I hate the end of my shopping because it just makes me feels like I need more and never have enough, then I'm buying just to buy. Retailers love me. My older son asked for the new Call of Duty, his drivers permit and a few other things. My middle son just wants motorcycle gear. And the three year old... Well, he basically wants everything on every commercial.

We bought a new house last year and financially we're pretty strapped because we're putting in a backyard right now. I can't wait until the house is done!!

I am so thankful for all of you lovely ladies as well. I'm so happy I found this dd thread and looking forward to a happy and healthy New Year for us all.

luckylass
December 19th, 2012, 04:00 PM
Another here who is nearly finished shopping. I have a few bit to get for my Grandad and dh's Nana but thatis about it. All the family and the Santa stuff is done. I love finishing it all off, getting the pressies wrapped and cards done and the having the presents distributed to all. We will be spending Saturday going around to all the family members delivering their gifts, Sunday going to the Santa Village with the boys and Monday relaxing and doing whatever they want to do before an early night. Finished up work tomorrow until the 8th January and dh is taking the same time so should be a good break for us.

Cinss
December 19th, 2012, 04:14 PM
I am going to pick up my lay-by this morning, i cant even really remember what i got, it was a trolly full of stuff. All 3 girls wanted a Furby but they were sold out at the time so i got them a Fur Real Pet each. Lots of Barbie stuff, dress ups and duplo, some kids make up and jewelry. I am looking forward to next christmas when i will be able to get some boys toys too.

ThreeMenAndALAdy
December 19th, 2012, 04:18 PM
Sounds great ladies!! Tiffani I'm sorry you've been so sick. I hope you get all caught up with your shopping. Crazy time of year, but fun too!!

mrshonyez
December 19th, 2012, 04:19 PM
I've always put off the shopping until the last minute. This year I started early (September!) and have been finished for a while, thank goodness. Now I'm just wrapping gifts from family members as they come in. Since we got the van, we've been on a tight budget and I kept thinking we wouldn't have as much, but considering my boys are the only grandkids/nephews, everyone keeps sending them stuff lol! They are so excited. My 3 year old wanted to write his first letter to Santa last week, and the only thing he asked for was green balloons lol. Wish I woulda known that before spending so much ;) haha. But my 17 month old is happy with anything you give him, so he wasn't too hard to buy for.

Mrs_P
December 19th, 2012, 04:19 PM
I am going to pick up my lay-by this morning, i cant even really remember what i got, it was a trolly full of stuff. All 3 girls wanted a Furby but they were sold out at the time so i got them a Fur Real Pet each. Lots of Barbie stuff, dress ups and duplo, some kids make up and jewelry. I am looking forward to next christmas when i will be able to get some boys toys too.

You know what funnily enough i read your post thinking aw barbies, aw dress up stuff, maybe if i'm lucky my little girl will make it and i will be able to buy some girls toys next year - then i read the last line of yours about the boys toys. I must admit i do enjoy christmas shopping for my boys (mostly lego, batman and trains this year) but would be nice to relive some of my childhood memories and buy girlie things

Shellbelle
December 19th, 2012, 05:15 PM
I'm mostly done, and after all the projects we did today the kids are done, too. We are trying to simplify, so this year we didn't buy as much junk for the kids as we usually do -- they made a list and we sent it around to the relatives and got them each one thing off the list. And then they made presents for all the relatives, and my nephews (who have every toy known to man lol) are getting gift cards.

The only thing I still need to do is to get each of them a book (something we do every year) and pick up DH's gift. And then I need to wrap it all lol.

Tiffani3
December 19th, 2012, 05:23 PM
Sounds great ladies!! Tiffani I'm sorry you've been so sick. I hope you get all caught up with your shopping. Crazy time of year, but fun too!!

Thank you sweetie all my boys had it the week before so I was destined to catch it! But feeling slightly more normal now :)
I love Christmas it's so exciting. Seeing there little faces Christmas morning is so priceless. Xx

Wishing4Pink
December 19th, 2012, 06:25 PM
I've haven't managed to catch up with this thread for a few days, and so devastated to read your sad sad news spinning. I'm at a loss for words over your tragic news, my heart and prayers go out to you xxx

genieinabottle1
December 19th, 2012, 07:35 PM
Merry Christmas ladies! I haven't been on the boards too much lately, but wanted to be added to the roll call.
EDD 5/31, swayed pink ("lazy" swayer) and we're having BOY #3. I just found out yesterday. I have my anatomy scan to confirm in 2weeks but it was pretty clear. I am surprisingly doing well. I am a little sad, but not much. I am actually very excited to finally know. I just hope I get a decent reaction out of my family. They all wanted a girl so badly for us. The prospect of 3 boys obviously was a pretty good prospect, and I can definitely see myself with 3 lovely boys, so I feel blessed. We don't plan on having more, so hopefully my brother or sister will give our family some baby girls!

Bimby
December 19th, 2012, 07:59 PM
Spinning, hope you're holding up ok hunny, have you heard from your Dr as of yet?? I hope you and your beautiful family are ok xoxo

Congratulations Genie on your precious little boy! Im glad you are in a happy place with it all :)

I think I am the last (apart from any team greeners) to find out! I find out on the 2nd Jan at my anatomy scan. Really excited but also a little nervous that things are going ok. It'll be 7 weeks since my last scan so I have no idea if everything is ok in there. I just cant wait to see this little person!!

As for Christmas shopping..... I think I am mostly done. We're pretty strapped for money so I would have liked to get the kids a few more things but Im sure they will get spoilt from others so all good. Just a few things here and there to get.

Can I ask a question... What is your take on eating Christmas Ham?? Ive bought a ham and was thinking Id just heat some up for me - that'd be ok right? Would it be ok cold if I cut it straight of the bone or still risky???

spinningmadly
December 19th, 2012, 09:49 PM
Bimby- I did hear this afternoon and have been a wreck since. I didn't want to post because I feel like I am just getting this thread down and depressing.
The FISH results came back negative for trisomy 13, 15, 18 and 21. The genetic counselor and Dr were shocked.
Which means I still don't have an answer which just makes it that much worse. I'm tired of googling for what I did or did not do or could have done and just want them to give me an answer. I feel like if I don't have that answer then I don't know if HT will help or not.
What they will do now is test every single chromosome (since they only tested those few) and then if that shows nothing they will do a microarray of every chromosome and look closely to see if there are any weird dna issues going on within the chromosomes.
My midwife said me and DH should also have that microarray done.
I'm so mad that this has happened to me twice with girls. I feel like the universe is seeing how much I can handle before breaking down. And now I just want an answer and I'm not getting one.

Turning the page
December 19th, 2012, 09:55 PM
Yay, Genie! Sorry you didn't see pink, but I'm really glad you're so happy with your sweet little boy!
I'm also glad to hear that I'm not the only one scrambling to get last minute Christmas stuff bought and wrapped. I normally love Christmas, but this has been such a stressful holiday, what with working like an animal, having a rambunctious two year old, and um...being pregnant! I'll be so happy when the craziness has passed, and I can focus on the craziness of transitioning Wyatt out of his crib and into a "big boy bed", so we can move the next inhabitant into his place! :)

Turning the page
December 19th, 2012, 10:01 PM
Bimby- I did hear this afternoon and have been a wreck since. I didn't want to post because I feel like I am just getting this thread down and depressing.
The FISH results came back negative for trisomy 13, 15, 18 and 21. The genetic counselor and Dr were shocked.
Which means I still don't have an answer which just makes it that much worse. I'm tired of googling for what I did or did not do or could have done and just want them to give me an answer. I feel like if I don't have that answer then I don't know if HT will help or not.
What they will do now is test every single chromosome (since they only tested those few) and then if that shows nothing they will do a microarray of every chromosome and look closely to see if there are any weird dna issues going on within the chromosomes.
My midwife said me and DH should also have that microarray done.
I'm so mad that this has happened to me twice with girls. I feel like the universe is seeing how much I can handle before breaking down. And now I just want an answer and I'm not getting one.

Jesus, spinning, I can't believe it! Surely there must be something in the microarray or the chromosome assay that will shed some light on what is happening. Once they find it, they can certainly evaluate for that with PGD. I'm praying that you get your answer, sooner rather than later...

spinningmadly
December 19th, 2012, 10:14 PM
I know :/ they said 2-3 weeks. which seems like an eternity.
I am so frustrated. we eat organic and I"m so picky about chemicals and this and that and this stuff just keeps happening.
My next door neighbor smokes throughout her pregnancy and her baby is totally fine. (no offense to anyone that smokes)
I just don't get how this is fair.

Lassie1982
December 20th, 2012, 01:01 AM
I know :/ they said 2-3 weeks. which seems like an eternity.
I am so frustrated. we eat organic and I"m so picky about chemicals and this and that and this stuff just keeps happening.
My next door neighbor smokes throughout her pregnancy and her baby is totally fine. (no offense to anyone that smokes)
I just don't get how this is fair.

Oh Hun I'm so sorry.
Life is so unfair. So intolerably cruel, and so very very unfair.
Why do people who abuse their bodies still get healthy babies, but others that do everything right don't?
Why do people that betray their husband into pregnancy through deceit and lies get their dream gender, but honest and morally flawless women just can't get that dream girl/boy they so dearly wish for?
It's unfair, all of its unfair :(
I wish there was a way to make it right, I wish that doing the right thing meant getting the right thing, I'm so sorry your hurting and that you have been dealt life's low blows.

I really truly hope for you that you finally get lots of rainbows and sunshine

Bimby
December 20th, 2012, 07:01 AM
Bimby- I did hear this afternoon and have been a wreck since. I didn't want to post because I feel like I am just getting this thread down and depressing.
The FISH results came back negative for trisomy 13, 15, 18 and 21. The genetic counselor and Dr were shocked.
Which means I still don't have an answer which just makes it that much worse. I'm tired of googling for what I did or did not do or could have done and just want them to give me an answer. I feel like if I don't have that answer then I don't know if HT will help or not.
What they will do now is test every single chromosome (since they only tested those few) and then if that shows nothing they will do a microarray of every chromosome and look closely to see if there are any weird dna issues going on within the chromosomes.
My midwife said me and DH should also have that microarray done.
I'm so mad that this has happened to me twice with girls. I feel like the universe is seeing how much I can handle before breaking down. And now I just want an answer and I'm not getting one.

Spinning, that is so unfair :( I wish you were able to have the answers and not have to go through more rigmarole to find out. Im so sorry you are being put through all this. I would be pi**ed too. I remember when I was doing IVF I was asking the same questions you are now. Why can people on drugs/smoke/drink and people who abuse get pregnant and have perfectly healthy children, I still dont understand and I never will. All I wish for is the best for you and your family, please dont feel like you are "letting down this thread" as you said, we all want to know how you are and what you are finding out, we just want to be there for you to support you through all this, I hope you know that - Hugs to you xoxo

spinningmadly
December 20th, 2012, 09:36 AM
I'm wondering now if it's mthfr.
I am assuming if I go ht they will be willing to test for and treat that if it's a problem

TT_3814
December 20th, 2012, 10:12 AM
Spinning~ So sorry you have yet to get any answers. :( Praying you do very soon and keep you in my thoughts always! xxx

Bimby~ As for the ham question, I hope others chime in as well but this is what my doula/midwife told me when I asked her about holiday foods. I wanted to know how safe the ham would be and she said once its fully cooked, then refrigerated left overs are generally fine to eat hot or cold. Of course you can make up your own mind. I still can't bring myself not to reheat, even though I do trust her.

Rosie85
December 20th, 2012, 10:55 AM
Ladies if the ham is baked in the oven it is different than that of ham style deli meat. Deli meat is processed and has risk of cross contamination and such. A ham that goes from your oven to fridge is perfectly safe to eat cold the next day, I just wouldn't go a day after that without reheating.

ThreeMenAndALAdy
December 20th, 2012, 02:27 PM
Spinning please don't feel like your bringing the board down when you post. You are on our minds a lot, and we want to know what's going on with you. I wanted to ask you yesterday if you got the results back but was afraid too. This is your group too and we are here to listen and help if we can. I hope you find the answers you need to move on to ht.
I have no idea why you have to go through this again, but I hope something positive does come out of it down the road.

spinningmadly
December 20th, 2012, 03:02 PM
Thanks TM&AL-
I just feel like this thread has slowed down since my news and you guys can continue to talk about normal things..
and any GD etc etc, I understand the GD despite having an unhealthy baby, I don't want anyone to feel like I am not sympathetic to GD still.

I found out from my midwife today the last labs the other dr ran after my last loss they forgot to do MTHFR!! (which is a genetic issue where you can't process folic acid I believe but it can cause clotting issues too) anyway she said we will have to do that when I come in. I was pretty irritated they totally missed that.

Tiffani3
December 20th, 2012, 03:07 PM
Spinning please don't feel like your bringing the board down when you post. You are on our minds a lot, and we want to know what's going on with you. I wanted to ask you yesterday if you got the results back but was afraid too. This is your group too and we are here to listen and help if we can. I hope you find the answers you need to move on to ht.
I have no idea why you have to go through this again, but I hope something positive does come out of it down the road.

I agree, spinning we are all here for you totally any time you need us! We all love you lots and I just wish there was something I could do to make it all better for you xx

Cinss
December 20th, 2012, 05:36 PM
Merry Christmas ladies! I haven't been on the boards too much lately, but wanted to be added to the roll call.
EDD 5/31, swayed pink ("lazy" swayer) and we're having BOY #3. I just found out yesterday. I have my anatomy scan to confirm in 2weeks but it was pretty clear. I am surprisingly doing well. I am a little sad, but not much. I am actually very excited to finally know. I just hope I get a decent reaction out of my family. They all wanted a girl so badly for us. The prospect of 3 boys obviously was a pretty good prospect, and I can definitely see myself with 3 lovely boys, so I feel blessed. We don't plan on having more, so hopefully my brother or sister will give our family some baby girls!

Ive added you to the front page. Be sure to let me know if anything changes at your next scan :)

Bimby
December 20th, 2012, 06:25 PM
Thanks for the Ham infor ladies :) I will be certain to cook it then refigerate, awesome news for Chrissy :)

Quick question.. I have a pain in my calf, feels like a constant cramp.. Of course my anxious mind goes straight to DVT/blood clot. SHould I call my Ob's office of just wait it out in case its just a pulled muscle. I dont want to seem like a hypochondriac lol

hotdogz&boyz
December 20th, 2012, 07:09 PM
^^That depends...is it tender and sore to the touch? Or is it entirely internal pain, like you had a bad Charlie horse that hasn't gone away? Did you do anything physically active recently that could cause a muscular issue? Do you have a history of clots?

If you have a reasonable explanation for the hurting, it is not sore or tender to the touch, and you don't have a history of clots, I would see what it is like tomorrow morning. If anything seems off (it's sore on the outside, you have had a clot or a history of clotting, you did nothing to bring it on and/or didn't have a Charlie horse or anything), I would ring the office. Just in case. They can give you more warning signs of a clot.

I am doing the Christmas thing at my folks house, so I am not real active online right now. But I read when I get a chance.

I am still sending prayers for some "finalization" to you spinning. I was not aware MTHR could cause defects in a fetus. I am positive for one aspect of MTHR and a second different clotting factor. It's why I take anticoagulants during pregnancy. I would be pretty irritated as well if they didn't test me during a prior loss for something that basic. My first thought was a balanced translocation, but I am sure they either already tested you and DH or plan to in order to see if that is the problem. It was one of the things they tested us for, since it can be a silent issue. But, again, I am so sorry you are having to deal with all the questions and heartbreak that comes with it.

I am happy to say that I have not used my Doppler in four days. I went through a period for a while where I was flipping out. I dunno why it was so much stronger, but I was using it daily. I can feel her more often now and am less concerned with finding her heartbeat. She must be getting stronger, her kicks are more obvious, even through my placenta. I am excited to see her (and, naturally, reconfirm she IS still a she!) and make sure all is well with her on the 28th. I have been doing shopping and even placed a HUGE cloth diaper order with my favorite WAHM. I am picking out some fabrics and designing some embroidered diapers. Diapers are one of my favorite parts...I am getting my second son some cute embroidered ones as well. He is no where close to being out of diapers (I am even concerned that my oldest will still be in diapers by the time this one comes in may...training is a huge bust so far). But anyway. Just giving a little update :) Anyone else doing baby shopping? Or window shopping since its Christmas and funds are low?

spinningmadly
December 20th, 2012, 07:21 PM
hot dog-
I also wondered if i should have been on lovenox but the clotting factors seemed to be low?? so they said just the baby aspirin would suffice for that.
I was just looking over our binder of info from the last testing round and i just realized the karotyping results said normal BUT they say this result does not exclude possibility of subtle rearrangements below the resolution.. so we could have missed a translocation apparently which is I guess why they suggested a microarray

Turning the page
December 20th, 2012, 07:28 PM
I have been doing shopping and even placed a HUGE cloth diaper order with my favorite WAHM. I am picking out some fabrics and designing some embroidered diapers. Diapers are one of my favorite parts...
Me too, hotdogz!! Is your WAHM diaper-maker a local gal, or does she make diapers for a broader audience? I am getting so excited about picking out cute new fluff! DH did make a good point yesterday, though, when he asked, "Wouldn't it be a lot more cost effective to re-use Wyatt's old newborn diapers?" They are all gender-neutral (because we were Team Green with him), so there really is no excuse not to use them! Sigh. Can anyone think of a good reason for me to buy some more? Anyone?? ;)

Cinss
December 20th, 2012, 07:32 PM
Quick question.. I have a pain in my calf, feels like a constant cramp.. Of course my anxious mind goes straight to DVT/blood clot. SHould I call my Ob's office of just wait it out in case its just a pulled muscle. I dont want to seem like a hypochondriac lol

Cramps in the legs are super common and there are lots of things that cause them when pregnant. Try adding salt into your diet, drink plenty of water and give it a massage and stretch. BUT if you notice swelling or tenderness in your leg, contact your doctor in the rare chance it is a clot.

Bimby
December 20th, 2012, 08:13 PM
^^That depends...is it tender and sore to the touch? Or is it entirely internal pain, like you had a bad Charlie horse that hasn't gone away? Did you do anything physically active recently that could cause a muscular issue? Do you have a history of clots?

If you have a reasonable explanation for the hurting, it is not sore or tender to the touch, and you don't have a history of clots, I would see what it is like tomorrow morning. If anything seems off (it's sore on the outside, you have had a clot or a history of clotting, you did nothing to bring it on and/or didn't have a Charlie horse or anything), I would ring the office. Just in case. They can give you more warning signs of a clot.


It is tender to touch but doesnt feel like its on the skin. Sort of feels bruised when I touch it. It seems to be better the more I walk around.. I might just call health direct and see what they say... I hate being paranoid but Id rather check it out. I havent been getting cramps, it just seems weird to just happen out of the blue.. Thanks for the advice Cinss & Hotdogz x

Bimby
December 21st, 2012, 12:26 AM
Off to the Dr's just to get it checked, I didnt want to wait till after Christmas just in case. I called Health Direct and they said see a doc in the next 24 hours. Better to be safe I guess.

Cinss
December 21st, 2012, 12:28 AM
Off to the Dr's just to get it checked, I didnt want to wait till after Christmas just in case. I called Health Direct and they said see a doc in the next 24 hours. Better to be safe I guess.

Yep definatly better to be safe :) goodluck.

Bimby
December 21st, 2012, 01:56 AM
Doc wants me to get an ultrasound just to be safe so she booked a scan for me at 4.30 - Im happy that at least I'll know so will stop worrying.. I wonder if the tech will look at bubs if I ask nicely lol

Bimby
December 21st, 2012, 06:08 AM
I'm fine :) No DVT but Im broke! Cant believe the cost of the scan!! I didnt ask the lady to take a peek at bubs, I was dropping hints but she didnt offer.. ah well.

Cinss
December 21st, 2012, 06:20 AM
I'm fine :) No DVT but Im broke! Cant believe the cost of the scan!! I didnt ask the lady to take a peek at bubs, I was dropping hints but she didnt offer.. ah well.

aah well, peace of mind = priceless :)

hotdogz&boyz
December 21st, 2012, 11:00 AM
Glad there are no clotting issues bimby! It's better to feel safe and sure than worry.

And spinning, yeah, I would guess they decided on microarray to check more subtle issues. Which, I would think would be more likely to be the problem because you carry the babies for so long. I have an online friend whose husband had a balanced translocation, but it's a "major" one (classic two-chromosomes are switched in location) and her babies with the wrong translocation are lost between 4-8 weeks. So I would venture to say IF that is the issue, it's more subtle in nature. I would certainly ask the doc about lovenox. I also take aspirin during pregnancy (lovenox in the am, aspirin in the pm). I also had a healthy pregnancy before they found the clotting issue, so it doesn't mean it's not part of your issue. Forming small clots in the placenta can lead to all sorts of issues (mine were large clots that caused very early miscarriages). I hope it's not insensitive of me to be talking about it with you. I just want you to have some answers. I remember feeling so hopeless when we lost our fourth baby in the same year. I thought I would never be pregnant again. Especially since everything seemed fine with getting pregnant and the problem was keeping them instead. So I got a (very) small taste of that feeling of confusion and hopelessness. I know yours is 100 times stronger and don't pretend to know how it feels. But I do hope they test absolutely everything possible to find out what is wrong and get you a healthy daughter.

And TTP, my CD lady had a larger-reaching store until very recently. Her diapers were sold all over the USA and Canada. She lives in Washington state. But she is in the process of transferring it to someone else (she and her mom did it and her mom was having arthritis issues and she has three small children and it was getting too big for them). So it is closed until the summer. But I have (literally) 50 diapers made by her for my boys and really want some girly ones. So I emailed her and asked if she could make some. And she said yes. But I only ordered 4 small. I am not getting any "newborn" diapers. We also have a rather gender neutral stash for that stage, so I am not adding to it. But her smalls will last til 4ish months, her mediums til 8mo, her larges til 2+ depending on child-size. So I got 4 small, 4 medium, and 8 large :)

spinningmadly
December 21st, 2012, 03:25 PM
Hotdog - thank you so much for the insight. That actually makes sense that maybe thats why I carry them longer.
It's not insensitive at all. I am pretty realistic about it. Especially after two times. I just feel like no one is helping me (professionally) or giving me any assurances which is where I so frustrated. I know really they are just waiting for the results which just seems like a lifetime right now. I made an appointment with a peri at Duke who is supposed to be good, an RE there and a reproductive immunologist and a genetic counselor.i was also told a hematologist might help. Right now I'm focusing on what's wrong or potential issues and I think that's keep me from going down to a really depressed state. Once I have all the test results and I've talked to them all I want to do a phone consult with dr potter at hrc just so I can look forward to that for next year.

Bimby
December 22nd, 2012, 09:01 AM
Does anyone know what I can use for acne that is safe?? Im suffering badly again and I cant stand it!! I usually use a low dose (2.5%) benzac cream but it says check with doc if pregnant or b//feeding so that concerns me.. Anyway, anyone know of a fairly natural remedy I could try?? Ive tried vinegar thinking it would kill the bacteria like my cream did but it doesnt seem to work :(

Spinning, when is your appt with the Peri?? xx

Butterfly Spirit
December 22nd, 2012, 09:06 AM
Does anyone know what I can use for acne that is safe?? Im suffering badly again and I cant stand it!! I usually use a low dose (2.5%) benzac cream but it says check with doc if pregnant or b//feeding so that concerns me.. Anyway, anyone know of a fairly natural remedy I could try?? Ive tried vinegar thinking it would kill the bacteria like my cream did but it doesnt seem to work :(



My forehead has totally broken out with this pregnancy that I can't wear liquid foundation anymore. I don't know if there is any kind of medicated scrub or lotion we can use while being pregnant. I just plan on going after it after I have my baby. I hope you can find something to help though.

Brandles
December 22nd, 2012, 10:44 AM
The acne has killed me this pregnant. Never had it with any of the boys. I swear this acne on my face is worse than I was when I was a teenager. I have very few large breakouts, but tons of little tiny ones that you can still see on my forehead, cheeks, chin, and behind my ears. Sounds so disgusting. I haven't been able to find anything to help it, but I use a clarisonic with my regular face wash and it finally seems to be helping. I will be stalking for more remedies.

Butterfly Spirit
December 22nd, 2012, 10:56 AM
The acne has killed me this pregnant. Never had it with any of the boys. I swear this acne on my face is worse than I was when I was a teenager. I have very few large breakouts, but tons of little tiny ones that you can still see on my forehead, cheeks, chin, and behind my ears. Sounds so disgusting. I haven't been able to find anything to help it, but I use a clarisonic with my regular face and it finally seems to be helping. I will be stalking for more remedies.

That rotating facial brush is clarisonic right? I though of trying one of those brushes.

Rosie85
December 22nd, 2012, 11:28 AM
I use an organic face wash, two kinds. One is green a d herbal, the other is a charcoal base. I didn't get acne this time though, thank goodness. Mine was horrendous with the first two. I would suggest trying natural treatments like lemon and other things!

Brandles
December 22nd, 2012, 11:59 AM
That rotating facial brush is clarisonic right? I though of trying one of those brushes.

Yes, and it's awesome!!! A little pricey, but totally worth it! It removes the dead flakey skin and leaves your skin feeling so soft (minus the darn acne, lol!). I use it at least once a day.

Brandles
December 22nd, 2012, 12:10 PM
You're all are probably going to think I'm crazy, neurotic, and totally obsessed, but I had another ultrasound yesterday. I just had to confirm FOR SURE that I am really having a girl, plus the other ultrasounds were all before 16 weeks. With ds3 they told me girl... and at an 18 week elective ultrasound in front of the whole family they told me BOY. We are seeing a lot of these family members on DH's side this weekend and I know they're going to be asking. I didn't want to tell them girl if there was a slight chance we're having a boy.

She is definitely a girl!!!! Look at these thighs on her... Lol!!! :wink: :HH:

(That's cord between the legs... I was scared for a second and then she showed me the blood pumping through)

7442

spinningmadly
December 22nd, 2012, 02:19 PM
Lol I don't think your crazy at all Brandles.

My appt w re and peri at duke is jan 16. I was waiting until I get the full test results. I'm trying to focus on the future. I think dh at times wants to just try again naturally bc of stories he's heard where the 3rd time it works. But I Dono if I can handle another loss if it happens again.

homebirthing princess
December 22nd, 2012, 02:29 PM
[QUOTE=Bimby;322838]Does anyone know what I can use for acne that is safe?? Im suffering badly again and I cant stand it!! I usually use a low dose (2.5%) benzac cream but it says check with doc if pregnant or b//feeding so that concerns me.. Anyway, anyone know of a fairly natural remedy I could try?? Ive tried vinegar thinking it would kill the bacteria like my cream did but it doesnt seem to work :( /QUOTE]

I swear by tea tree oil...its amazing stuff I've been getting bad spots around my chin and I use the oil on them which dries them out really quickly! Have you tried teatree facial wash b4 also witchhazel is really good to :) x

Brandles
December 22nd, 2012, 02:40 PM
[QUOTE=Bimby;322838]Does anyone know what I can use for acne that is safe?? Im suffering badly again and I cant stand it!! I usually use a low dose (2.5%) benzac cream but it says check with doc if pregnant or b//feeding so that concerns me.. Anyway, anyone know of a fairly natural remedy I could try?? Ive tried vinegar thinking it would kill the bacteria like my cream did but it doesnt seem to work :( /QUOTE]

I swear by tea tree oil...its amazing stuff I've been getting bad spots around my chin and I use the oil on them which dries them out really quickly! Have you tried teatree facial wash b4 also witchhazel is really good to :) x

Sounds invigorating!! I'm going to have to try it. Where can you buy it? Is there a brand name?

homebirthing princess
December 22nd, 2012, 03:05 PM
Copied from a website... What are the Benefits of Tea Tree Oil?

Tea Tree Oil has wonderful properties that makes it a popular natural agent for curing all three types of infectious organisms: fungus, bacteria, and virus. More importantly, it is known to effectively fight a number of infections that are resistant to some antibiotics. Therefore, Tea Tree Oil is an excellent natural remedy for hundreds of bacterial and fungal skin ailments such as acne, abscess, oily skin, blisters, sun burns, athlete's foot, warts, herpes, insect bites, rashes, dandruff and other minor wounds.

If you google teatree oil you will probably get a list of places that sell it, I usually get mine from the chemist, just make sure its pure teatree oil. X

mrshonyez
December 22nd, 2012, 03:14 PM
Bringing the coconut oil back up, I've read that people use it as a facial cleanser. I've used it as a moisturizer, and my skin looks and feels great. And just like on DS2's rashes, it makes redness go away pretty quick. Might be worth a try? I've had some acne this pregnancy, but not as ba as with my first 2 thankfully.
I keep having dreams that I go into preterm labor. I have no reason to think I would, but it scares me because my labors go so fast, that I worry I wouldn't make it in time to stop it. I'm just all around nervous this time, as it gets closer. If my water breaks at home I'm screwed. With my first, they broke my water at 5cm and 5 min later I was at a 9. Last time, my water broke in the hospital and he was ready to come out within about 5 minutes. And it was so fast that he had complications, so that freaks me out even more.

Shellbelle
December 22nd, 2012, 03:48 PM
Look at those legs, Brandles! Congrats!

I can *always* find a reason for more cloth diapers. Lol.

Brandles
December 22nd, 2012, 04:19 PM
Look at those legs, Brandles! Congrats!

I can *always* find a reason for more cloth diapers. Lol.

Thanks!!! Speaking of cloth... I really want to cloth diaper this baby, but can't sell the idea to my husband. We already have a about 20 cloth diapers that were gender neutral for ds3. He just thinks we won't save that much money since its our last baby.

About the coconut oil. I actually made a coconut oil face wash and I loved it!! I just haven't had time to do it again, but it was really easy. My face actually felt tighter after using it and so moisturized.

Shellbelle
December 22nd, 2012, 04:59 PM
Thanks!!! Speaking of cloth... I really want to cloth diaper this baby, but can't sell the idea to my husband. We already have a about 20 cloth diapers that were gender neutral for ds3. He just thinks we won't save that much money since its our last baby.

About the coconut oil. I actually made a coconut oil face wash and I loved it!! I just haven't had time to do it again, but it was really easy. My face actually felt tighter after using it and so moisturized.

We started after DS was bigger (not a newborn) and we saved a ton. Dh was skeptical at first. But really -- we only had 12 "good" diapers in our stash (good meaning we used them regularly) and its saved us quite a bit. Yes, we run an extra couple of loads of laundry a week, but that hasn't raised our water and electric bills in any noticeable way. And we don't have to buy diapers every week, which, if you buy brand names, is really pricey. So even if we didn't use them with this baby, we will have saved a lot over the past year or so.

Cinss
December 22nd, 2012, 05:21 PM
Im having bad acne too :( nothing i try seems to work and the chemist lady told me that if its horemonal there is not much i can do about it, they would normally give me medication for it but its a no go while pregnant.

Great potty shot Brandles! Definatly a little lady there :)

So i have a question as someone who has never even seen a cloth nappy (diaper)... When the baby does a poo in there, what is the cleaning method? Do you have to scrape it off into the toilet or something before you soak or wash it?