How do you stay positive?

[BabyGirl4Me]

So a bit about me - I am desperate for a baby girl and am trying to shift my thinking from feeling sad and angry all the time that I don't have a daughter right now to feeling positive that my daughter is on her way she's just not here yet but will be here very soon.

Swaying doesn't offer any guarantees, neither does HT. How do you stay positive and confident that your dream of your DG baby is going to come true and will happen?

[alreadyneedivf]

Well someone I was close to always said if you think you can or you think you can't, you are right. She isnt with us anymore unfortunately, but I always think of her words and dh aways reminds me of them! Good luck!

[BeadinMom]

AlreadyneedIVF, I used to have that quote from Henry Ford on my office door when I worked at a college :) Love it!

[alreadyneedivf]

Haha bead. I never knew she got it from someone, nevertheless Henry ford...so funny!

[BeadinMom]

Eh...maybe Henry Ford got it from her? lol ;)

[zibibbogirl]

I think having a positive attitude is extremely important when swaying or doing HT.

I often use imagery to help me think positive thoughts. I picture my whole family together in five years' time. My sons are kicking a football with DH and my little girl and I are sitting under a tree watching them. She is playing with my hair (or vice versa) or we are talking. If five years is too far into the future, think about what it will be like to hold her in your arms when she is born.

I would hate to think that negative imagery or fear of failure would ruin my chances. I don't know if I would go as far as believing that it won't work simply because I think it won't work or I doubt its possibility (I mean, afterall science has a huge role to play, its not all in our heads). Some people give it their all and for some reason it still doesn't work out. I am not saying they have done anything to cause that. That is what can be really unfair about HT or swaying. But I certainly think a positive attitude cannot hurt.

[Jennyb0125]

I dont know how to stay positive but if you figure it out please let me know, I am in my 12th week & want a son so bad! I am terrified of the gender scan, I am afraid I ill feel a moment of disappointment if we find out we are having a girl.

I wish you luck & tons of PINK baby dust, Ill take your BLUE..lol

[BabyGirl4Me]

I've been trying to use visualization techniques to help me stay positive. I think about holding my little girl wearing a cute little pink sleeper and wrapped up in my old baby blanket with strawberries on it. I can picture her sparking eyes and big baby smile.

If I start to think negative thoughts I try to stop myself by thinking "that's a negative thought" and replace it with a positive affirmation like "My daughter is sweet and cuddly." or "My beautiful daughter is healthy and bright." or simply "I love my daughter so much." It's been helpful for me to stay positive and focused on what I want instead of feeling bad. Gotta stay positive!

@Jenny - Yes please, let's swap dust. My blue for your pink. Please take all of mine. ;) Good luck!

[riss177]

I hope I don't end up sounding negative, but I just wanted to share what I'm going through right now. I had a nuchal transulcency test done recently and the tech said it's a boy. I wanted this baby to be a girl so badly. I tried to make myself feel like I was going to have a daughter in hopes that it would bring my dream closer to me. I visualized and daydreamed about her often. I picked out a name. I bought a pink baby blanket and a pink onesie that I hung up on my "dream board" (something I created to post goals and dreams for my husband and I). Anyway, now that I've been told it's a boy I feel like I'm mourning my daughter. I feel like I set myself up for disappointment. I'm sure I would have felt disappointed whether I did those things or not, but I feel like I made it worse. I wish I would have been thinking about all the wonderful things that another boy could bring to our family as well.

So, what I'm trying to say is don't forget to think about the joys you will have if your baby turns out to be another boy. Try to prepare yourself for that in a positive way.

I really hope this post doesn't bring anyone down! I just felt like I should share this. =0)

[amandao7491]

Did anyone try the chinese birth chart, sex positions and timing in order to get the desire gender that they wanted? I heard it really works if done at the right time and position but I don't know how true the methods are.

[cravingsalt]

Riss, I totally agree. When I was reading through the posts I was hoping I wasn't the only one thinking this way. For me, I actually go the other way- I try not to get my hopes up for a girl. I know that if I get a girl I'll have no problem finding the joy in that right away. What I need is to pick out a good ds3 name, and think about the advantages of having three boys, so if I do hear boy (whenever I do get pregnant) I can handle it and call on those visualizations. But maybe I'm just pessimistic, I don't know. The one thing that always helps me to find my grounding and not get too carried away with gender desire (believe me, I have to remind myself often) is thinking about women who would give their right arm to conceive at all, or those who conceive children with challenges (like my ds1). That always brings me back.

[kaseybaby]

Honestly I am a expect the worst hope for the best type person. Not to say having another DS would be the worst, because it absolutely wouldn't, but I just expect that no matter what I do, my next will be a boy. That way if I get a DD i will be over the moon surprised, but I won't be shocked when it is another boy.

[BabyGirl4Me]

Did anyone try the chinese birth chart, sex positions and timing in order to get the desire gender that they wanted? I heard it really works if done at the right time and position but I don't know how true the methods are.

The Chinese chart told me I would have a girl, which wasn't true in my case unfortunately. Please *do not* rely on the calendar if you're ttc a specific gender, it is inaccurate.

[sbmommy]

Yes, please don't rely on the Chinese Gender Charts for timing - at least, they've been wrong both times for me. I totally agree with visualizing both genders, so hearing the outcome at the gender scan will be better no matter what your desired gender. Are you done after this one? Maybe there's a possibility for trying again in the future if you don't get your DG this time. In the meantime, I'm sending you ALL of my crazy strong pink dust! Good luck!

[Son4meplz]

I also don't believe in chineese gender chart or moon or any old wives tale. All of these have been proven wrong 2 times for me however, I am sure that if you ask this to someone who had success with it then, the answer may be completely opposite. I know there are many chineese gender chart and I have tried all of them including the one that has been said to have max success rate. It just works for some n fails for others.

I did believe in sway but now when i compare the successful sway with the failed one then, I see that something which worked for one, failed for others. For example, I swayed hardcore with the diet n other factors and, have been obsessing over the fact that I used instead cup and DTD twice after +OPK for a boy (I remember it being suggested to do once on ingender). When compared I see that 'Myfabulouschildren' got success with instead cup and DTD once...and at the same time 'Hobbermittens' got success with no instead cup and DTD multiple times. So, who knows what works and what doesn't.

[wildwooddays]

The only thing that really helps me is to tell me it is what it is. The gender has already been predetermined and there is little you can do to change it. Plus I tell myself I'm really lucky to have three kids, even if it's three of the same gender. I don't know if I can "stay positive" because I know there is no garauntee I'm gonna get my dg, so it's really just dealing with the fact that I might not.

[XXdreaming]

Really when you're ttcing #5 it's very hard to stay positive lol you really just learn to be happy with the gender you get and thank God they're healthy and really I haven't even mastered that yet myself lol because I bawled my eyes out for 20wks after I found out ds4 was another boy lol I am really praying and preparing myself to just be happy I made it out of the 1st trimester and it will be ok its another boy because it always works out because I love my 4 boys and wouldn't change it for the world :) and I hopefully I can let my daughter go if I need too, give her clothes away and the things I made her, it's things emotional I feel like I do need to prepare for so I am not so hurt this time around ...

[Dana-Alicia]

I keep telling myself that she will come to us. She just has to. When I was pregnant with DS2 and we found out he wasn't a she, i was crushed. Not because he was a boy, I love boys, but because DH said that two is the absolute limit for us. I felt so desperate and sad, because I was sure I was never going to have a girl (again, we had a girl but she passed away). Now DH has agreed on trying one more time. We'll go HT, but that will only be in a few years. I don't know how I'm going to cope the next few years. I just know I have to believe, have to keep hope that she will come. If it doesn't happen, it's gonna hurt very much anyway, whether I believed it or not. So I'd rather be happy in not knowing, but believing she is coming. KWIM?

[gallons of milk]

Reading these threads, I think I must be a pessimist! I have been frozen for the last three years, completely unsure what path to take because I haven't been able to think positively about any of them! Now I'm 35 and we have finally decided to try to adopt. If for some reason we can't I will have to go back to biology, but time is running out on that one. I think it's very hard to be positive when the success rate is only around 50%, and I can't bear the idea of the disappointment if a sway fails, or HT doesn't work. The trouble with being so pessimistic is that you don't get anywhere! At least if you keep positive it can help you make decisions and keep moving forward towards your goal. You might end up with ten kids of the same gender, but I think at least then you would know you'd tried. And you'd definitely never be short on babysitting requests when you're a granny!

[Ipadmad]

At the moment, all I seem to think about is my pink sway (I know I know, the worst thing to do, but I am so obsessive about things that matter!). I'm trying to not let it take over my life, but it is hard. Part of looking forward to pregnancy is being able to 'forget' about foods, not snacking, aspirin, rephresh etc!

I cannot imagine how hard it will be between being 4 and 16 weeks pregnant and not knowing. I'm sure it will feel like a lifetime. That something is determined and there and existing, but not knowing! But, at that time, I'm planning on cutting off a bit, to try to stop obsessing and just look forward to my boy. I sort of feel that if I get geared up for a boy and it's a girl, I will be chuffed. If I gear up for a boy and it's a boy, I'll be chuffed too, because I wouldn't have given myself the time to consider carrying a girl.

But I'm sure those 12 weeks will feel like forever (and then I'm sure I'll be obsessing over how the bump 'hangs', my cravings, how sick I am ... anything that will give boy/girl indicators!).

Just hope I get the BFP in this cycle before Christmas!