"she only makes boys"

[myangel2014]

I am a proud mom of 3 little boys and have gd about not having a girl. I will see what the future brings with my dream to have a little girl but the everyday comments get to me alot!

I was at a party last weekend for a friends little girl turning 1 and in front of all the family/friends that were there- my husbands friend yells out " ya those are her 3 boys, she only makes boys." What do I say to that? I have been struggling as it is and then to have those comments its hurtful. It makes me feel that I am inadequate or have a disease.

As it is its hard for me to function with 3 boys under 2- (twin boys 20months and 3 month old)- I can't go out without putting on a circus act and the comments are upsetting..I am definitely forming a thicker shell but its tough when I struggle with the dream of a daughter. Any thoughts or same situation stories help. Thank you :)

[wilma_five]

I got used to comments like that *sigh*
It does hurt but keep in mind that not all the people you meet are intelligent ;)

[atomic sagebrush]

People said that about me all the time but after 4 boys I proved em wrong!!!

Michelle Duggar had 6 boys in a row and has gone on to conceive 5 girls in a row!!

[Yuzu]

I get comments like that all the time. From so many people! I figure people are either foolish or don't know how much it hurts. Even my DH called me a 'boy factory' before I let him know that it hurt me. I also get stories from people and I don't want to hear them. The lady at the bank said, "Oh, my grandmother wanted a girl and she had nine boys and NEVER got her girl!" Thank you, bank lady.

I usually say, "I like boys." I don't really know what else to say. And honestly, I do love my boys. I just have a longing for a girl.

[mummypink]

People say the most hurtful things, it is a shame they can't engage their brains before they open their mouths.

I've had comments made by people who knew we were planning on having a third such as 'I bet you have twin boys' and 'Oh, I bet you're really hoping for a girl this time'. It is hard not to let them get to you, makes you feel like you should be upset about having boys when actually I wouldn't swap them for the world. Yes I would love to have a girl as my third and last child - mainly so I can experience a mother daughter relationship and also because I think the boys would benefit from having a sister. If we have another boy then clearly he was meant to be and I will love him every bit as much.

Try not to let the idiot comments get you down. xx

[mydream]

People just say the stupidest things!! It irritates the hell out of me!
I would say something like..."thank god I make boys because girls are way harder to raise as teenagers!!!"

I guess for me, I never let anyone really know my true desire for a girl. That's just me though!

[myangel2014]

Thank you for all the support! Ya I beg to think I should never let on to anyone that I want a girl cause it just makes them feel bad for you and say even stupider things...That same guy at the party also once said to me: "do you want to know how it feels to hold a girl...then handed me his daughter..." what the hell! That is just mean...my husband didn't say anything either- cause he was caught off guard.

An old lady at the party also said to me " oh dear too bad you don't have any girls cause you are beautiful and your daughters would be gorgeous.'..WTF...why would anyone say that????

So sick of the STUPID COMMENTS!!!!!

[fish2012]

People just say the stupidest things!! It irritates the hell out of me!
I would say something like..."thank god I make boys because girls are way harder to raise as teenagers!!!"

I guess for me, I never let anyone really know my true desire for a girl. That's just me though!

a compliment from a set of grandads the other day, it started badly HIM ugh daughters they are such trouble, always needing something even once they are grown up, don't have them.......ME I don't, HIM (slightly taken a back) you're right weldone good girl I'll tell your husband how blessed he his!

normally i would bite my tonge but i'm strating to devlop come backs just to try and make people think before they say something again.

myangel, yes lots of boys are a sign of fertility I guess we are just very blessed - is your response next time please ;-0


ignore them boys are brilliant i pray we all get to experiance the difference xxx

[fish2012]

Thank you for all the support! Ya I beg to think I should never let on to anyone that I want a girl cause it just makes them feel bad for you and say even stupider things...That same guy at the party also once said to me: "do you want to know how it feels to hold a girl...then handed me his daughter..." what the hell! That is just mean...my husband didn't say anything either- cause he was caught off guard.

An old lady at the party also said to me " oh dear too bad you don't have any girls cause you are beautiful and your daughters would be gorgeous.'..WTF...why would anyone say that????

So sick of the STUPID COMMENTS!!!!!

change your friends they suck!

My husbands friend gave me his new born baby girl to cuddle, i stopped her crying obviously cause she is newborn and i'm not her mother, he said you should have a girl, i said i'll try to arrange that next time! he knew as soon as i responded what he said was redicilous and he didn't appologise and i wouldn't expect him to really but he won't ever say it again either.....

fight back ladies ;-0

[dreamingpink77]

Oh my...some people are either stupid or just mean! How could he have said...."do you want to know how it feels to hold a girl" People talk without thinking that they might be hurting someone else...I'm really sorry for that myangel :sad: I never tell anybody that I would like to have a girl, or almost anybody. Told one of my sisters that we were going to ttc soon and would have loved a girl this time, but did not tell anybody that we are swaying, nobody at all. It's just me and my DH. Don't want anybody to think that I will not love my son if it happens to be another DS. Yes we do wish to experience the feeling of having a daughter, of having that relationship we sometimes think that we might never have with a son (although we might also be wrong with that). We all hope we could go shopping with our little girls and actually enjoying it...as boys don't often enjoy shopping much! I guess we all hope we can talk more openly with our girls especially when they get older....but in the end who knows...We might even get our girls and when they grow up, we realize that we have better relationships with our sons :happy: Sometimes I wonder if a girl would come and throw her arms around me for a cuddle just as my 11 year old son still does! :bighug:

[mummypink]

Yep, boys are super fab when it comes to lots of cuddles! :D

[Kiesse]

I know how you feel. I dont let on to ANYONE my desire of having a wee girl. I have 2 gorgeous boys and swayed pink but from my 12 weeks scan it looks like another little man which is fine by me. When people say to me, oohh ibet you wanna girl this time, i just casually turn around and say no not really bothered, would actually prefer another wee man, they say yeah but than ya can dress her up in pretty wee things i turn and say well you can still dress a boy up in cute wee jeans and shirts, there is awesoem clothes, they say yea but not the same, and i get them with this one all the time..... I say.... I quite like being the only female in my house, i dont have to worry sharing my clothes for dress ups, sharing my makeup, and coz i know what hell i put my mother through when i was younger if i had a girl it would just be Karma coming back to haunt me..... honestly very happy with my boys! (really wanna girl, so will be researching hard out for my next one!) :) lol

[auroara78]

Well the comments never stop, ya'll, even when you GET your desired gender, hahah!

All I've heard in the last few weeks is that I'm too "big" to be carrying a girl!! "Are you SURE the ultrasound was right????" (hmm I trust my doctor's very nice state of the art machine, yes!) The jokes: "Maybe it'll come out as twin boys!" ..."please tell me you're having twins, right?" "you're not shaped right to be carrying a girl...the doctor was wrong" (what I'm supposed to believe you, old lady, and not my very accurate ultrasound tech???) "What are you going to do with all the baby girl clothes if you bring home a boy?"

Apparently, my body is not carrying this baby very girl-like, and people are doubting my ultrasound. It's gotten so bad that I've shared with my husband some of the comments and he rolls his eyes and says, "really? we know what we saw at the ultrasound...how could you doubt that?"

The only thing that's been bothering is all the students where I work always act like I should be SO relieved I am not having another boy! They even say things like "whew, you got your girl finally" as if I just had my boys to get to this point of time. I am so tired of the "good thing you got the girl" comments because they make me feel like my boys are somehow meaningless to them. And I am so proud of my boys! They helped me grow so much more than I ever knew possible, and I'd never change them for anything!

So yeah, I think people in general are just very silly and don't think much before opening their big ol' mouths!

So sorry that man said that....one of old friends told me before I got pregnant there was no point trying for a 3rd because my DH just "shoots" boys...and well, we're not as close anymore, but I cannot believe some of the things people say!

[Pstar32]

Aurora I am getting the same thing! When i was pregnant with my first I swelled up really bad and everyone was saying oh that's because it's a girl, it was really irritating my husband, not because he wanted a boy just people constantly commenting on how I was carrying, he was delighted it was a boy in the end. That is crazy people questioning your US results!!

To the OP you have only had two pregnancies, the same as me. As was already said the Duggars have 19 kids, 10 boys and 9 girls, 6 boys in a row and 5 girls in a row. None if us are boy/girl mothers. We are all very very lucky women that have carried x amount of healthy babies. When I told my friend it was a girl she said that's weird I was sure you would have all boys, she has two as well!! What a ridiculous comment!

My BIL was expecting his first when we were expecting our second. My other BIL said oh you won't have a girl there are too many boys in both our families, x (my other BIL) will have the girl and you the boy. I had only had one boy at the time. They did have a beautiful baby girl who has had chromosomal health problems, we had a healthy boy, both are equally as gorgeous we have just had an easier time of it! Gender doesn't matter.

When I got pregnant again my BIL laughed and said maybe it'll be your girl but I suppose you'll just keep trying! Because I've had them close people just presume that. I always wanted four children. I'm praying I'm blessed with four healthy ones above anything else but I am happy I can stick two fingers up to all the stupid people who say ridiculous things!! I always wanted to experience both and please God I get to from December, but the stupid comments will continue I suppose :(

[amari]

Oh, I hate this. I get it from everyone sure that I will have 2 more boys, and I feel like it makes me believe they know something I don't know : (

[zibibbogirl]

That same guy at the party also once said to me: "do you want to know how it feels to hold a girl...then handed me his daughter..." what the hell! That is just mean...my husband didn't say anything either- cause he was caught off guard.

An old lady at the party also said to me " oh dear too bad you don't have any girls cause you are beautiful and your daughters would be gorgeous.'..WTF...why would anyone say that????

So sick of the STUPID COMMENTS!!!!!

That moron would have been holding something alright... his teeth!

And what a silly old woman. Honestly, WTF is wrong with some people?? Maybe we should just ask that question next time someone says something so dumb.

[6bluewant1pink]

My Husband blames me for having all boys(we have 3 together , the other 3 from past relationship). My family all tell me i can only have boys after having 6 boys i hope i can finally conceive a girl. My heart breaks so bad :(

[twinkitty2]

It goes both ways, and I don't think people with their desired gender children stop to think about what they say. I had two girls when I found out I was pregnant with twins. I got ALL the comments about, "I'll bet it's two more girls" "I feel sorry for you, WHAT are you going to DO when they're teenagers?!" Look at all the weddings you'll have to pay for!, etc. etc. as if having 4 girls would be some terrible curse. I usually just smiled and said we hoped for two healthy babies and that God would give us what he wanted us to have. I prayed that at least one would be a boy and I was honest with people about that, though.

The thing that hurt the most was my MIL, who had 4 boys. She just can't shut up about how she never wanted a girl, girls are So much harder to raise (how she knows this, I have no clue), she's so glad she never had a girl. This to me who had two beautiful girls and her only granddaughters. I don't know what she was trying to accomplish by those comments, but they really hurt. And once they were born, "I'll bet your mom is thrilled" - why mil, bc you're not thrilled with your son's beautiful healthy daughter? I felt like she wouldn't/doesn't care as much for my dd's as she would if they were boys. And I know I would feel the same way if the situation was reversed and I had boys/she had girls. I just don't get the animosity.

[LacePrincess]

:hug2: to you, myangel, I know exactly how you feel!

Everyone in my family assumes I'm done, because a trio of kids is pretty much as big as families get around here. My GD is really not that bad, I just get a bit jealous and envious whenever I either walk through stores and see all the adorable girl dresses (WHY can't they make CUTE boy things? I am so SICK of flannel shirts and jeans! Ugh!!!). Or when I see baby girls of course.

On top of that, I'm surrounded by families with at least one of each. Sigh. One of our best friends had 2 kids in the past few years, one girl and one boy. I'm happy for her, but so envious too! :( At least she was sensitive and always asked me if it bothered me to have her talk about her DD all the time, and I'm like of COURSE not! Also, we moved into a new house last year and on our street there are two families with one of each. Really makes me so jealous! Thank goodness there's a family down the street also with 3 boys so we don't feel so bad.

But yeah, mostly it makes me feel so left out, even though girls over the age of 3-4 terrify me!!

OTOH, I also think there are challenges to having only two kids and of mixed gender, as I wonder if they'd play together and bond as well as my boys have, not to mention So. Much. More. STUFF.

[LacePrincess]

An old lady at the party also said to me " oh dear too bad you don't have any girls cause you are beautiful and your daughters would be gorgeous.'..WTF...why would anyone say that????


OMG, that is a seriously *facepalm* comment. :( How awful, I'm so sorry you have to hear comments like that. We usually just get "wow, 3 boys, how do you keep up with them". And my reply is usually every little girl I've met has been MORE hyper and MORE loud and usually more dirty than my sons, LOL.

I would've shot back "My boys ARE beautiful!" And really, especially as infants, who can tell the difference anyways? I kept getting comments when my youngest DS was a baby how beautiful 'she' was.....even when he was in totally boy clothes!!

[toffee-praying-for-a-son]

oh.. how insensitive.. the nerve that some people have :mad: When DD3 was born, my DH's cousin who came for a visit was saying in a dramatic tone.. "So, where is the boy, where is the boy" (clearly knowing that we have got DD # 3).. laughed as if he made a big joke and said "Oh.. I was sure that it had to be a boy, because 3 girls in a row is odd".. Made my GD worse.. :(

[sbmommy]

I get insensitive comments too, and I'm still pregnant with DD#2! Everyone asks what the baby is, and when I say it's a girl they always say "congratulations! So you're going to keep trying for a boy, right?" and give me this sad, pitiful look like they feel so sorry for me. I could slap them. No I am not trying for a boy right now, I am still pregnant.

[myangel2014]

I get so many ridiculous comments that I start to ignore people or not even respond... I don't know why people are so insensitive. Yes we beat the odds have 3 boys in a row..but come on give me a break. I love my boys regardless of sex. I still struggle with GD and my youngest is 6 months. My husband gets sick of talking about having a girl so I try to not bring it up much. I wish I felt done having kids but I still feel like I am missing my daughter :(

[sugarNspice]

I have just barely begun telling people about my current pg (with DD#3), and I wanted more pink and swayed for pink, and am actually overjoyed to have an all pink family, so the comments don't sting as much as they would if I were suffering from GD, but it's amazing, what people will say...

I've had 4 miscarriages in a row, and am absolutely over the moon that this baby seems to be sticky and healthy, too. But when I told one friend that I had already found out gender from a CVS (which also showed normal chromosomes--the best news I could have wished for after losses!) she said, "oh, I'm sorry." (as in, I'm sorry it's another girl.) And she wasn't trying to be hurtful, I think it's just that her comment came out of her own wish to have both genders.

DH has also gotten "well, I hope at least you have a male dog" from the one friend he chose to share the news with. Um, no, we have female kittens (because that's what DH wanted!)

But really, it is simply *amazing* how insensitive people can be, or how they don't realize that everyone has different wishes & dreams about the genders of their children...

[myangel2014]

SugarNspice- Any advice on how you swayed for pink? I have never swayed either way. Both pregnancies for me were a surprise :) Thank you :))

[Island Meadow]

People said that about me all the time but after 4 boys I proved em wrong!!!

Michelle Duggar had 6 boys in a row and has gone on to conceive 5 girls in a row!!


Yes! Michelle Duggar is an excellent example for those of us who have multiple children of the same gender. The very interesting part is that if you consider every child she ever conceived, you see that it ended up being completely 50/50... 10 boys, 10 girls.

I really think people and their comments are what worry me the most about finding out the gender of baby #3. I decided when I started ttc that I wanted another baby regardless of gender and the idea of another boy is very exciting. I am sad that I may never have a daughter, but I know I can get over it. I just wish people would learn to shut their mouths every once in a while! I am very sick of all the comments and I really think that people who choose to say whatever is on their minds deserve to hear whatever is on my mind, so they will this time around. I am about going to announce my pregnancy this week and I am already gearing up for all the comments about ANOTHER boy.

[myangel2014]

Congrats Island on your pregnancy!! You have a great attitude!! I know it is the comments that hurt ...its just learning to put them aside...which i am still learning to do... I felt like when I told people I was expecting my 3rd son...they discounted my pregnancy and were asking if I was going to try again for a girl...its ridiculous...I love my 3rd son...he is such a angel. I hate that people are so insensitive! I am very sensitive to others about what I say because I know how it feels!

[wildwooddays]

I am so over those gender comments I could scream. Almost every person who sees me with two boys and a baby belly says the obligatory, "Are you having a girl this time?" What if I knew the gender and I wasn't? What is the most annoying is my neighbor downstairs. She only has one child, a girl, and every time my kids act up she says, "I really hope this ones a girl for you, girls wouldn't do that." I told her yesterday that my younger son wouldn't wear his jacket and she goes, "I hope you're having a girl cause she'll wear it." I feel like if I have a third boy I'm keeping him away from her just because she makes those obnoxious comments.

[dreamingpink77]

oh.. how insensitive.. the nerve that some people have :mad: When DD3 was born, my DH's cousin who came for a visit was saying in a dramatic tone.. "So, where is the boy, where is the boy" (clearly knowing that we have got DD # 3).. laughed as if he made a big joke and said "Oh.. I was sure that it had to be a boy, because 3 girls in a row is odd".. Made my GD worse.. :(


Oh this is so cruel! Makes you want to strangle him!

[Island Meadow]

Told family last night and already received a lovely comment from my mom. My brother and his gf recently announced their own pregnancy and they are due just 4 days before me. I am really excited for them both and completely over the moon to be an aunt, but what my mom said to me really upset me and put a damper on my excitement for both of us.

I told her last night and she said: Oh, I hope you have a girl this time, but I think you're going to have a boy. I don't know why... it's just a feeling. I don't want to jinx you or anything, but of course, the baby already is what he or she is anyway. Oh, and I really think K & C will have a girl.

Ummm... okay. What do I say to that? Gee thanks for your prediction. I'll make a note of it.

[Claire33]

Island Meadow, that is such an insensitive thing to say of your own mother. Hugs to you :kissy:

[spinningmadly]

Island- my dad said something to that exact effect my last pregnancy, he said I know you want a girl but I think it's another boy and your cousin will have a girl. I just remember saying gee thanks and being really irritated.

[Babyk10103]

My mom has said since we found out the gender to everyone "it's another stinking boy" I feel like she's ashamed of me and my other two boys. My brother has two girls and they live about 6 hours away. She still asks me all the time if they are sure about the gender... As if I don't feel bad enough!!

[afy]

Told family last night and already received a lovely comment from my mom. My brother and his gf recently announced their own pregnancy and they are due just 4 days before me. I am really excited for them both and completely over the moon to be an aunt, but what my mom said to me really upset me and put a damper on my excitement for both of us.

I told her last night and she said: Oh, I hope you have a girl this time, but I think you're going to have a boy. I don't know why... it's just a feeling. I don't want to jinx you or anything, but of course, the baby already is what he or she is anyway. Oh, and I really think K & C will have a girl.

Ummm... okay. What do I say to that? Gee thanks for your prediction. I'll make a note of it.

I'm sorry I had to butt in island meadow.. Regardless of what gender the baby will be and what people think.. Shouldn't put a damper on your day .. People are so oblivious to the fact that soooooo many couples out there are barren whilst others have a 1 in a million chance to conceive.. But We are blessed to be amongst those who are fertile and child bearing and on top of that give birth to a healthy baby considering the tons and thousands diseases/disorders that are being diagnosed .. We are so blessed to be given all that and people are just totally inconsiderate ..