Need to hear how great 3 boys are!!!

[swish]

Hi,
I'm pretty sure my third is another beautiful boy, my nub shot is 'classic boy' apparently!!! Lately I am getting so much negativity from people. A woman (who I don't know) told me she hopes my next is a girl as they are so much easier and kinder. And another woman who has 3 boys told me what hard work they are and that it's lonely as she's left out of everything. I guess deep down i am a little worried about 3 more grown up boys, a baby is a baby after all!! I really need to hear from mums of three boys how great it is!!!! I'm trying so hard to move on from wanting a dd and this is not helping!!!! Thank you :)

[zibibbogirl]

Oh, I can help you with that. I have three boys and I love, love, love it. My DS3 is the sweetest little angel. Of course, I love all of them to bits, but he is the icing on the cake. Two of my boys are a little older and they adore their baby brother. I am sure they would have loved a little sister too, but they can relate to him a lot more being a boy. They are always talking about the stuff they are going to do together when they get older. I can't wait until they are all best mates as adults.

Of course, I do want a little girl too, because mainly I think it would be nice to have the experience of raising both genders. So we are doing HT for our fourth and last. With three big brothers, she is going to be very well looked after :-)
Don't give up all hope that your baby is a girl. You might just get a pleasant surprise.

The negative comments never cease, no matter what genders your children are. I thought it was only all boy Moms that got the comments, but it appears that girl Moms get them too. Even people with mixed genders seem to get some kind of negative reaction from people...

[Mrs_P]

Me to i have 3 boys and although i really want a girl i wouldn't trade them for anything.

Firstly you will be a princess in your house, my boys are so loving and always tell me how much they love me. They fight (all of them even my nearly 8 yr old) for a spot on my lap. They are so easy going and not at all stroppy like some of my friends girls. They do have their moments but their friends straight after. They are also so individual, i always thought with ds1 and ds2 being so different ds3 wouldn't add anything new to the mix but he does, he's his own little person and has brought the others together so much more.

No-one is ever left out, they all have times where one wants space so the other two play together but they all also get on so well as threesome. They snuggle up on the sofa a mass of arms and legs everywhere in a huge heap watching tv and it still melts my heart everytime i see them and they love being together.

The boys are hard work but only really when they are fighting but then all kids are. Maybe that mom had just had a rough day. I can honestly say i'm never left out at the moment, my boys are all real mommys boys but it does worry me i maybe when they are older as i am such a girly girl but then i think its more to do with how they are raised how close they are to their parents. There is a woman next door to us who has three grown sons ranging from late teens to early twenties and they are such lovely guys, always so respectful to their mom, i love watching her they all tower around her and openly give her a kiss and a cuddle in public it gives me such hope for my family if can be half as close to my boys as that i'd be happy.

Be proud of your family, three boys is very special. They will grow up to be someone else knight in shining armour or daddy and that will all be down to you. Yes they will be hard work any kids are but mine are more than worth it they are my entire world. I still have a strong desire to have a daughter but i know that if i never have one i am more than blessed with my boys. I have such a loving, close family and they make me such a proud mama. I get the you must be mad comments etc off strangers but i have also had comments off the moms at school about how polite and friendly my children are and about what a calm (LOL - so not me) and happy mom i seem to be. People will judge at face value but for those who look a little deeper they'll see what you'll know all along - that you are a very lucky mom x

[swish]

Thank you so much ladies, I would like a 'love, love, love' button for both of your posts and I can really relate to how you feel about your little men, I absolutely adore my boys, they are both entirely different and neither is a 'typical boy'. I know I will adore my third lovely boy but that is definately it for me and it's soooo hard to be over it with people making negative comments, got to learn to rise above it!!! Wishing you both every ounce of luck in getting your dds xx

[Mrs_P]

You never know you may get your dd after all, a nub however good it is is not always definite. As for no number 4 thats what i said to... we can't afford it, do i really want 4 kids etc but ds3 is 2 now (well tomorrow) and i lost so much of his childhood to gd i really want to be pg again and to have a positive experience (gender regardless) as i loved being pg and having a new born.

Its not easy to ignore harsh people and i genuinly think most of them just don't think before they speak and don't mean to be hurtful. Comments hit me really hard when i had GD and had one moment where i was even resentful to my boys i had (that were my life and i loved more than anything - but hormones can be a b***h when your pg). I was so happy and excited by his birth but i still found it hard i didn't have a dd. Not long after i had ds3 we nearly lost ds2. He choked on some cake - worst moment of my life he stopped breathing and turned purple. He was lucky pure fluke he survived. From that moment on i have never felt more grateful for what i have and so guiltly for how i felt. We still get the comments but they don't bother me anymore i KNOW how lucky i am and how brilliant they are. Best way to deal with them is to come up with a good retort.

IF this is a little boy he has fought his way through all of the swaying tactics because he was mean't to be a part of your family, even if it seems hard now you'll get what you need. We recently found out my ds1 has severe dyspraxia - his brothers were the best thing that could have ever happened to him, they were mean't to be. So if it is a boy, pick him a brilliant name, buy him something cute and enjoy your pregnancy and new baby, thats my only regret.

I can't promise you though that your longing for a daughter will go, it does get easier though and i have found chatting to moms on here really helps so if you ever want to talk .... x

[swish]

How scary for you with ds 2, they are so precious and we should be grateful for them everyday. I just need to suck it up and toughen up, I wish their comments didn't bother me!!!! Xxx

[KidAtHeart]

People just say crazy things and don't think about it. I'm sure I have in the past as well, inadvertently flaring up someone's gd. Today was the 'meet the teacher' at preschool and two women were talking about having all boys and wanting a girl, too, but it would be a fourth child... all sounded so familiar. I wonder if their gd was as strong as mine. I try to rise above the wanting, but it is hard. I truly have to focus on all the blessings that I do have.

As for having three boys though, I have to say it's pretty amazing. I never really had true gender depression - I love having my boys. More of a deep deep gender desire. And in a lot of ways, having three boys is SO much easier than having mixed genders or even all girls. My boys all like the same things (legos, ninjago, harry potter, etc). They more or less want to watch the same tv and movies. They all like playing similar games, even despite their age differences. My middle boy is a bit of a drama hound, but even he doesn't have the 'attitude' that I've seen on a lot of girls. And after his tantrum, he comes over and apologizes and snuggles in.

Three boys can coexist, in my opinion, easier than three girls. They are just guys. They don't purposefully exclude one another - mostly they exclude whoever is being annoying that particular day. Having said all of that, I would still just love to have a little girl, though truly, I have to just get over it and appreciate the wonderful children that I do have.

Mostly the comments that I get is "wow, you must be busy!" - nothing very rude. I just shrug it off. But I told myself that I don't have to lie, either. "yes, we would have liked to have had a girl but it didn't work out that way" or "We tried for a fourth but it didn't happen for us". I don't have to go into details with strangers (or even friends or family), but by acknowledging my gd a little, it both gets people off my back tactfully (and really, what do you say after that?), and makes me feel better bc I'm not hiding my feelings entirely.

[Mrs_P]

Your boys sound so much like mine, its funny how they get their own little heirarchcy isn't it. Ds2 forus rules the roost definitely and he is such a drama queen - how funny, maybe its a middle child thing. The others just trot into line and do what he says. But he is def a drama queen, loves dressing up and being the centre of attention - i sware he has more costumes than lady gaga

[TT_3814]

Be proud of your family, three boys is very special. They will grow up to be someone else knight in shining armour or daddy and that will all be down to you. Yes they will be hard work any kids are but mine are more than worth it they are my entire world. I still have a strong desire to have a daughter but i know that if i never have one i am more than blessed with my boys. I have such a loving, close family and they make me such a proud mama. I get the you must be mad comments etc off strangers but i have also had comments off the moms at school about how polite and friendly my children are and about what a calm (LOL - so not me) and happy mom i seem to be. People will judge at face value but for those who look a little deeper they'll see what you'll know all along - that you are a very lucky mom x

Love this! :)

I did have gender disappointment with DS3, it haunted me and and added to my guilt when he was born 10 weeks early. When DH ran into fertility issues, we hoped, prayed and ended up finding a sperm donor, we had hope again. While ttc, something in me changed, any desire I had for a girl just turned into baby desire. I was blessed with a beautiful baby boy for 20 weeks. DH and I were surprised recently by our own bfp, I'm hoping for another boy, not to replace our sweet little one but because..I'm a boy mom. This is the family DH and I are destined to have and we both feel lucky. Of course a girl would be delightful but I would be very worried about her cervix honestly, if there is any possibility of cervical insufficientcy being genetic, I would hate to pass that on to her.

The responses above are great! Your boys are very lucky to have you as their mom. :heart:

[swish]

TT, I am so sorry about your loss, wishing you every ounce of luck and happiness with your new baby, lots of love to you xxxxx

[TT_3814]

Thank you, Swish! Wishing the same for you and for more positive comments. xxxxx

[LacePrincess]

Don't think of them as 3 boys, just your 3 children. I say this because personality-wise, after infancy, I truly believe that there's no such thing as girls OR boys all acting a certain way.

My first is quiet, introspective, a book worm, and likes his own space. Not at all cuddly. So, rather like me when I was young. He also hates most sports except soccer. My second is hyper, sassy, and loves to dance. In fact he begged for dance lessons! He's the only boy in the whole dance school, which bugs him, but I tell him he's gonna be the STAR of every show and that rocks! He also haaaaates getting sticky or messy or dirty.

My third is ALLLLL typical boy. Rough and tumble. If we had three like my youngest I think we would've been DONE and not even thinking about a fourth, LOL. My youngest is also much more cuddly than my older two.

My last pregnancy, sure I was disappointed it wasn't a girl, but it really was more everyone else's stupid comments and reactions that sucked. And we had an u/s scare (thickened nuchal scan) and the docs promptly scared the sh!t out of us with Down's predictions and stuff, and that REALLY drove home the point that all we wanted was a happy, healthy child.

So really, I guess what I'm longing for in a little girl is the baby/toddler experience - all the pink and bows and princess stuff, but after they have their own mind they all develop their own preferences/personalities anyways, and you just never know how it'll turn out! My middle son, the dancer, wanted to try on my dresses and get his nails painted when he was 3-4 years old! LMAO! (Freaked the hell outta my mom!)

One of the things I get pissy about is the lack of cute boy things. Really bugs that all the stores ever have are flannel shirts, jeans, and sneakers. Blah. So I solved that one with DS3 by sewing him the CUUUUTEST little sailor rompers with matching hats. So cute. At least until he was mobile enough to rip the hats off his head, LMAO.

[LacePrincess]

Three boys can coexist, in my opinion, easier than three girls. They are just guys. They don't purposefully exclude one another - mostly they exclude whoever is being annoying that particular day. Having said all of that, I would still just love to have a little girl, though truly, I have to just get over it and appreciate the wonderful children that I do have.



OMG, this is SO TRUE. This is exactly how it is - mine too fight like cats and dogs but get over it quick too. And my DS2 is a total drama-llama as well!

And +1 about the toys. I've gotten used to a nice, tidy house, with no toy clutter everywhere. Lego breaks down and is much easier to put away than, say, a big princess dollhouse!! One thing I wouldn't look forward to at ALL if we had a girl, is having all the little girl toys scattered everywhere.

[kaseybaby]

I don't have 3 boys, but I was raised with 3 brothers and almost all male cousins, and i have to say, boys adore their mother. My aunt has 3 boys and no daughters. She was diagnosed with breast cancer 4 years ago and her boys never left her side. They are grown men, and will look you straight in the eye and tell you their mother is their world.

My 3 brothers dote on my mother, and to them she can do no wrong. And you know what? I was the first to move away! Not my brothers. All my aunts and their sons have such special bonds. It is really amazing to see. (and almost all my family have 3 boys)

[fiveboysandagirl]

There's always someone who has something to say. They make assumptions about your life based on their own experiences. If you were doing an exam and someone said "ooh you should do it, it's printed on blue paper and they're so much harder!" or some other random statement, you'd think what utter rubbish. Yet these people assume they know how our lives will turn out based on the gender of our children! We pick up on it because we're sensitive about it, but in reality no one can predict the future. AND we all know what if you were expecting your third girl you'd meet just as many wise-cracking idiots who would tell you how awful it is to raise three girls. I have driven myself round the bend worrying about what people have said to me. They have made me feel like a freak who is doomed to a life of misery because of the hand I've been dealt. My advice to you is stick your fingers in your ears and hum "LA LA LA LA" next time anyone tries to tell you anything negative. You and your precious babies don't need it! xx

[lime]

I LOVE this thread! I have two boys, but would be totally fine with 3 boys. It would just be a nice change to have a girl, but it says nothing about your future happiness. The more kids you have, the greater the chance that you'll have a greater bond with one of them.
It really comes down to the relationship that you build with your child (regardless of gender) and how your personalities mesh together. There are many daughters (as much as sons) that have bad relationships with their parents. Healthy children is the most important outcome. Also no one knows what tomorrow will bring, so make the most out of your family and build strong loving relationships with your children.

Further, on a side note, most people say that they want a different experience and therefore, want 'one of each'. But don't parents get a different experience with each kid regardless? Even parents that have identical twins have a 'different experience' with each twin. No two kids are alike. Who says that your son will play football and that your daughter will be a ballerina? ie You can have a son who plays football and a son who prefers to be on the debate team.

[joyfylgrl]

My third boy was something special. Everyone told me he would be, but we had swayed and I think both hubby and I were upset to hear boy. Once Andrew came though, he just filled an empty space in all our hearts and is a perfect fit! PLUS...he had red hair and we had always wanted a red-head, but didn't think it would happen!