Does anyone else feel like garbage when...

[BabyGirl4Me]

Does anyone else feel like garbage when attending a birthday party or some type of special event for a child of their desired gender? I get so upset when I have to sit through girl birthday parties. I have so many ideas for things I'd do for a girl's birthday party or how I would decorate or the cake I'd order for my daughter, and then having to sit there and look at all the girl cards and see all the girl gifts (darling clothes, girly pink princessey toys, tea sets, etc) is like torture for me. I'm so jealous and sad and I feel so cheated when attending events like this. I'd rather be thrown from a 3rd story window and land on concrete than sit through another girl birthday party. That would be far less painful for me.

My son will be 1 in a few months and I am dreading his first Christmas and birthday party. I know all he's going to get are more crappy boy clothes and toys. The clothes I can just donate to charity but the toys I am probably going to be stuck with unfortunately. I am thinking of maybe trying to do a winnie the pooh theme and buy him a winnie the pooh costume after they go on sale after halloween to wear for his party, but even then, it's not anything that would make me nearly as happy as having a pretty pink princess cake and dressing a daughter in a beautiful party dress.

I really hope the sway I'm planning works. I don't know how much more of this my heart can take.

[*ruby*]

It's hard isn't it? and the fuss everyone makes over the girly clothes and things just makes it even worse. I ALWAYS buy gender neutral presents for girls as I really don't enjoy buying pink for other peoples daughters.

What about a gender neutral theme for your son. Winnie the pooh sounds good or even just bright rainbow colours, there are lots of great ideas for boys if you look around.

[hotdogz&boyz]

Out of curiousity, why do you think "boy" toys and clothes are crappy? I mean, it's your baby's first birthday and there are TONS of cool things to play with out there. And there are also super-cute clothes! I find it a little sad that you are not at all excited for your sons first birthday. There are so many ways to go "all-out" for a boys party that has nothing to do with "boy" themes. My first son had a space birthday for his first party. It was so fun! Then we did a costume party, which ended up really elaborate! Even my adult age brothers got in on the action. And then we are doing a cooking party for his third birthday, which is turning out really cute with the homemade kitchen set we are giving him for his birthday. There are too of cute things to do that don't involve sports, blue, or trucks.

Perhaps it is time to not go to girl parties any more. If it makes you that mad. Happiness is wanting what you have. And if the parties are making you want what you don't have, maybe it is time to ditch the sad events.

[Mrs_P]

I must admit i'd love a daughter and to do all of those girly party things but boys birthdays are pretty great too (although granted no one else has quite the same clothes taste as me and i'm pretty picky about how my boys are dressed. We've had some great parties here. Ds2 has his borthday in the summer and we have a massive garden so we always have a huge garden party, we did pirates this year so quite boy friendly (with palm trees and treasure hunts etc) but we did in the night garden the year before and i turned our gazebo into the band stand and we all dressed up, cake was orange and lime with all the characters on.

Just because your son is a son doesn't mean you can't still do the girly things with him, ds1 loves cooking with me, ds2 loves dressing up (he has more costume changes than lady gaga) and ds3 loves to help and copy me, his favourite thing at the moment is pushing upsy daisy and iggle piggle in his pushchair (it is blue but a pushchair none the less)

[ThreeMenAndALAdy]

You're the best Mrs. P!!! I'd love an invite to one of your parties. It would be a blast!!!

[Mrs_P]

You'd be most welcome, birthdays are a massive thing with us plus i love an excuse for a party! Last few years we've done christmas as well, called it tacky christmas and gone really ott on boxing day and covered house with fake snow and as many tacky christmas decorations as possible (then had homemade chips and burgers for dinner - mad i know) and all dressed up i was a snow woman complete with top hat, stripped tights and a puff ball skirt (i even made my dh dress up as an elf, he was soo funny).

Its something the boys love and parties have always been a big thing in my house (gender doesn't even come into it - although i have the most lovely pony cake from when i was little and i would so love to do the mad hatters tea party if ever get my dd) we do easter to (with a massive hunt with clues for all ages to find) and we're contemplating halloween to although i'm not sure the boys are a little young but a friend of mine does a great halloween party i'm waiting to try out.

But then i am a bit of a drama queen and so love these type of things, my wedding was my favourite to plan we had a 1920's theme and i had the most amazing ian stuart wedding dress and mini top hat - i felt like a princess.


Boys can be sooo much fun to and although mine can be proper little boys at times they emit so many lovely qualities boys are renown for but most of what we do is gender non specific. For times where the boys really refuse (which is rare although ds2 is going through a girls are rubbish phase - yes this is the same little boy who dressed up in an old bridesmaids dress he found and told everyone he was princess 6 months ago!) i borrow my friends daughter who i've known since my first son was little. Not the same as having a girl of my own but i def don't miss out with the boys

[Yuzu]

Ignore cmccarro. I reported her post and hopefully it will be removed soon.

[bythestream]

I totally agree with Mrs P you can have great boys parties, I think you just have to figure out what your son likes. I think too many people these days organise big elaborate beautiful parties that are way over organised and its not at all for the child its for the parent. What does your son like to do? My ds2 loved to play the drums at 1 so I made him a drum cake and we went to the park with his friends. My ds1 had a hungry caterpillar birthday with mostly family and a couple of friends for his first.
I heard of a family that had a few friends around for a massive mud fight (I think they were about 10) now that is an awesome kids birthday, memories forever not just perfectly matching food and decorations.

[fivebabies]

I think we tend to forget that the party is for the child, not us...so we should put on the type of party that they want. Even though I have a DD and have done girl parties, we do not always agree and she wants different things. It's not my party, its hers. In that case we don't get tot do what we want anyways.

Do it up big for your sweet little man! He'll only be this little once! :)

[Mrs_P]

If a party is too hard for now don't do it he's only 1 - for my sons first birthday (ds1) we didn't have a party (the parties have only come on so much over the years as the kids have got into them and they can pick their own theme etc) we went out for the day as a family (we went to the zoo) and then we went out for a meal with our family - he was the only child and a lot of people wanted to spend time with him. We went to the wacky warehouse so he 'enjoyed' it to but it was more about quality of time together

Enjoy some time with your family and worry about parties when he's older and interested - there is no right way to be a mom and nothing says you have to do a party. Hopefully in a few years you'll have your dd too and you'll love doing both the boy and the girl things once that whole is filled x

[joyfylgrl]

I actually love buying boy toys, girl toys sorta make me uncomfortable. In general, I try to get gender neutral things, however, my BFF has three girls and I know them like my own children...I'll get them things I know they'll like, in particular, the princessy one will get princess stuff ;)