Just when I thought I was doing better

[Babyk10103]

Horrible day today. All I have recieved today are fb posts about what we are having. All my pg friends are having girls and posting about how excited they are to be having a girl after two boys. How awesome it is to have a girl birth club, and asking if I am in it. I can't bring myself to respond. Considering deleting fb for a while. I read the first chapter of Altered dreams and cried my eyes out. My boys behaved super bad in public today too, to the point I just had to take them home. They are 9 and soon to be 4, and I was so appaled at thier behavior and the thought of adding to that with yet another boy is way too much today, piled with all the bragging of girls by my pg friends. I started the day in a super good mood too, I actually went in the future nursery and had started clearing things out, and had looked at some baby gear and nursery decor on line, (definately not ready to take a trip to babies r us yet!) Just amazing that one can go from "ok" with things to inconsolable within a few hours. The worst part is after loosing my job during the first trimester "pg disaster 1" I found a new better job YAY, but it is in the NICU at one of our local hospital. I keep thinking how can I be around baby girls at work and come home to a house full of testosterone???

[HopingWishingPraying]

Hugs to you. You are in the hardest bit right now, being pregnant with a baby that you know is not the gender you were after is SO SO HARD. It feels like "just another boy" and it is so hard to bond when the one and only thing you know about the baby is the one thing you didnt want to know. It gets so much easier when they are here...when they are their own little individual - you can look into his beautiful face and it just all gets a bit easier. The first 12 weeks after finding out my DS3 was a boy I felt horribly disconnected with him, I cried my eyes out like I was in mourning, and I had no desire to have a third son at all. Now he is here he is my little cherub and I wouldnt change him for the world... it does get easier!

Finding out about others having your desired gender is SOO hard, it still slogs me in the guts every single time even when it is not a close friend. So sorry you have to be dealing with that right now on top of your own GD. I think you are really wise not to tell people the gender yet if you are not ready... maybe say the baby was in the wrong position and you couldnt find out. Giving yourself a little bit of time to process things before having to deal with unhelpful comments etc is really wise. I hope things get easier for you soon... just remember you are in the darkest part of GD right now... it honestly cant get much harder than it is right now... I hope the sun shines for you soon!

[Babyk10103]

well, it just got even worse. Now, that dream job I landed making more money after loosing my job at 11 weeks of pregnancy. I can't work for them now, because of the baby. Turns out that I'm not immune after all the immunizations I took both as a child and as a nurse to measels or mumps. Pregnant women cannot be vaccinated therefore, they are sorry, but they have to decline thier offer to me at this time, but I am welcome to re-apply after the baby is born. Now I really feel like this whole thing was a HUGE mistake. This pregnancy has been cursed from the beginning!! That job (which I was starting on Monday) was about the only thing I was remotely looking foreward to, now I have nothing.

[Waiting4Daisy]

Aw hun. My third little son is just so precious. When he is here, you will know why you needed him. I'm sorry about the job. I'm sure you will get the opportunity to work for them again once your baby arrives. I left my job when my third was born but my work were keen to get me back as soon as I was ready to work again :-) xxx

[fivebabies]

Oh I am so sorry about the job. :(

I wish I had words to make you feel better but I know that sometimes we just need to be pissed about it for awhile. hope things get easier for you!

[Babyk10103]

Still angry and jealous, but dealing better, but still have people all around me coming out of the woodwork practically overjoyed about getting their pink... My mom doesn't really believe the ultrasound she knows how crushed i am and and I have my happy denial moments. Hoping next week they still have trouble with the Doppler (anterior placenta) and I get another conformation via u/s. the haven't ever gotten great shots but she's pretty sure another boy. I don't cry as much, but still really not bonding. Doesn't help that my youngest is not happy about this baby either. He's mommas boy and has made it clear he will not share me. He even told me that the baby won't like me. The boys don't know I've been upset about the baby, and that hurt bad, mostly because I feel that way too.

[boys,boys.boys!!!]

ahhh sorry to hear your so down, i too cried and cried when i was pregnant with DS3 even though I didnt find out the sex for sure at u/s, i saw "boy bits" (he had a problem with 1 of his kidneys and were in that area for ages) Both my sister in law and best friend were expecting girls at the same time as me and they were both there first child each and kept going on about how they werent bothered what sex it was really, but were so lucky to be getting a girl ggrrrr!!! i spent the rest of my pregnacy feeling sorry for myself/angry/jealous of every1 having a girl, my mum died a couple of years back and i guess i wanted to have a mother/ daughter bond back. My DH had even started to say he wasnt going to look at my face if it came out another boy as he didnt want to see my disapointment and even if i couldnt be happy it was going to be another boy, he was........but i can honestly say the minute i saw him i even shocked myself, all of the disapointment went and i didnt even have one thought about him being "another boy"
Now DS3 is here he is the most loveliest, cheekiest boy, and although i still want a girl... im glad he wasnt a girl.
And i know that although it feels so hard now for you, it will get better. sorry about the job too

[coocoobananas]

I love hearing the posts of moms having their 3rd boy! These are the posts u need to read to get better:)
I started feeling really good about 3 boys yesterday and the. Somebody on here got a girl today and it all came flowing back, arggh! So annoyed with myself! So will read these threads over and over as I know in 3 months it will be ok, it will babyk!!

[Babyk10103]

I'm no crying anymore, but really having trouble bonding with this baby. Can't decide on a name, and I had them look again Friday to be sure, they say its still a boy, It all just still feels wrong to me. I still don't feel like its a boy, my intuition said girl and I just can't focus or decide on anything baby related. Doesn't help that my youngest already doesn't want the baby and its not even here yet. He says he wants to move in with my parents when the baby comes, and that the baby won't like me so everyone else will have to hold the baby because I have to hold him. This whole pregnancy has felt
Like a huge nightmare.