How old do you feel?

[Zivic-Bubac]

I don't feel like 40. It's so unreal :worry: Yet it's sad fact I'm turning 40 in 2 weeks :(

I look my friends who are my age and completely are in 'midlife way of life' ( 1-2 kids older then 5, regular jobs, etc...) And I'm dreaming of my next baby like I'm in my 20's? Is that irresponsible? Or immature?
Or I shouldn't go with the main ****** so to speak?

The other day we had my DD1 b-day party and we were talking about the lady from church who is expecting her 3rd son ( I'm jealous beyond words, but that's not the topic here lol!) So I said she is young enough to have her 4th in a year or two and all of them jumped at me: no, that's too much! (wtf?????) 4kids? that's crazy!!!! One should know when enough is enough (!!!????)....and more of the same type comments.
I was bummed. They all have 1-2 kids and all are in the late 30's -early 40's. 2 kids are norm here. I'll be treated like irresponsible freak for having 4.

My biggest concern: will I be here long enough for them? I realize there are no guarantees, people can die no matter what age, maybe I'll live long enough to see all of them married?

Sorry for rambling. I'm so unsure am I in denial of my age and should accept the reality or I should feel the way I feel, not so old?

[HopeandDreamG]

We r not old.Nim 37 I feel 27. I swear. Your as old as we feel. Amazing how your jealous of a 3rd boy, she may be dying for a girl. Whether she admits it or not. if my next one is a boy I'll need a straight jacket! We can always switch lol! My boys are Gorgous!! Lol! But I WANT a girl... Life is so unfair.
I love the idea of 4, nice and even. Everyone here has two kids also.. I want to be surrounded by family when I'm old. My kids and their families the more the better! Forget the norm!

[RedCanoe]

40 is not old! My MIL had my DH's younger brother when she was over 40 and that was 30 some years ago! Nowadays having kids at 40 is just normal. People are waiting so much longer to have kids and many don't even get started until mid-late 30s. Don't worry about your friends. They won't have the regrets later if you stopped before you felt complete, you will! Go for it, I say! :)

[Shellbelle]

I know so many moms who have kids the same ages as mine but are 10 years older -- it's not that uncommon! Around here, especially among "professionals," starting to have children at 35+ is very common, so I have worked with lots of moms who are expecting in their early 40s. What I hear from them is "OMG, I can't believe you are old enough to have kids the ages of yours!" I don't think you're being irresponsible or immature at all.

But if I just looked at my family... yeah, I'm ancient. My family believes in early marriage and early motherhood (like, 18-20) and I had my first at 25, after I had finished grad school -- and now my last at 36. So to them, I am old. What I hear from THEM is, "It's so sad that this is only the fourth you will have given birth to... time is running out, you know, but I guess it was worth it to YOU to spend all that time going to college." ;) LOL

Normally, I feel younger than I am. But with all this morning sickness and fatigue, I swear I am 10 years older today. ;)

[The Anchor]

ZB...a couple of weeks ago I would have been right on board the "we are not old" train. But events of the last couple of weeks have made me see things in a different light. NO, I don't feel old, and to be honest, I look younger (and better!) than some friends of mine in their mid-thirties. I feel great, but every year older I get I realize my eggs are getting older, even if I don't look/feel like I am! All those stats about increased chance of chromosomal defect/miscarriage as you get older...well it happened to me last week.

I'm ploughing forward though, because I DO want another baby, especially now, and yes all of my friends think 2 is enough, but I don't care! One more for me please, and enough of your unsolicited advice (I'm directing that the other preschool moms who I catch shaking their heads at me).

I say, you go girl, and I'll be "going" right along with you!

[My Three Sons]

I am 39 and have three boys. I don't think that I am too old to want a baby, although some may think that. I think more people will think we are nuts for having 4 kids rather than my age. Heck, even DH thinks it's nuts but he's willing to go along. People now just don't have as many kids as they used to. I don't care though. I want a big family and a little girl would just complete it. If this is a boy, that's fine too...

[Rosie85]

I feel 85 today...my lower back is all shot to heck and DH says I walk like a grandma. ha

[Mrs_P]

My best friend is 45 and she has given birth to her second, now i realise she is closer in age to my mom at 52 than to me (and not far off the age my mom was when i had ds1 - 49) BUT age is just a number. She is my best friend and the person i have most in common with, i never see her as being older or her me as really young, she just a mom like every other (although a fab one!). I do agree that when you can't tell if a parent is a parent or a grandparent enough is enough but 40 is NOT old. Although yes i do think anchor has a point in that in terms of evolution it is on the older side to have a baby (my friend had 5 miscarriages before the sticky baby but no problems with her first although there is a 7 year gap) BUT most definitely not too old to be a mom just may take a little longer, but then anything worth having is worth working for.

I really hope you get your son and please don't worry about other peoples comments, you only get one shot in life and its your life do what makes you happy - i always think i never regret having a single one of my children but i would regret not trying x

[Mrs_P]

Ps if its any help i feel old!!!!!! With 3 kids, a job and a uni degree to contend with i am always tired and ever since ds3 i have had such bad problems with back i often end up with a limp to rival kaiser sosay (and yes it disappears after i've been on my feet for a good few steps to). My stomach looks like a deflated balloon that has been blown up way to many times and my boobs are round my knees due to all the breast feeding - not the sort of thing i would admit freely or to just anyone and i am only 30!

(my friend by the way rather sickeningly has the figure i had in my 20's and not a mark to show from her kids everything pinged back within weeks - not fair!)

[ThreeMenAndALAdy]

I think having kids keeps you young!! My parents had my sister and I when they were in their early 20's. I've seen their lives slow down to the point where I don't think it's healthy...and they're only 57 and 58. I'm having my 5th, and I'm 37. I think if you can keep up with them, keep having them!!!

[ThreeMenAndALAdy]

Hey Mrs. P, have I told you that I love you today!!!

[Mrs_P]

I think having kids keeps you young!! My parents had my sister and I when they were in their early 20's. I've seen their lives slow down to the point where I don't think it's healthy...and they're only 57 and 58. I'm having my 5th, and I'm 37. I think if you can keep up with them, keep having them!!!

And you look way better than me on it - not fair

[Mrs_P]

Hey Mrs. P, have I told you that I love you today!!!

Love ya to :bighug:

[Rosie85]

haha I had my first at 22 and I do feel old. I think older moms tend to feel younger, from what I have heard anyways! Not saying it is true for everyone of course!

[ThreeMenAndALAdy]

I can't believe I'm closer to 40 than 30. This sucks!!!

[LacePrincess]

I never feel old unless I'm TTC, lol. THEN I feel old!!

It helps that I've inherited lucky Asian aging genes, so I look a lot younger than I am....most people guess my age around 24-25 (I'm 33). I still occasionally get carded at the liquor store (in Ont the drinking age is 21).

Alas, the way my body *didn't* spring back after DS3 emphasized how I'm not really a spring chicken anymore, not to mention getting close to "Advanced Maternal Age" status. Ugh I hate that term!!!

OTOH, not having the baby weight drop off was a blessing in disguise as I took up exercising seriously and I'm now in the best shape (and weight) of my life!

[Shellbelle]

I can't believe I'm closer to 40 than 30. This sucks!!!

Oh, you are not. You're only twenty-seventeen.

[Shellbelle]

I can't believe I'm closer to 40 than 30. This sucks!!!

Oh, and today the OB nurse informed me that technically, I'm not of Advanced maternal age." The technical term is "senile multigravida." I threw a piece of candy at her.

[LacePrincess]

Oh, and today the OB nurse informed me that technically, I'm not of Advanced maternal age." The technical term is "senile multigravida." I threw a piece of candy at her.

Good LORD. Shall we all get out our walking canes now?!?? That's horrible!!

Isn't there a term for having had multiple previous pregnancies too? So in two years I'll be a 'senile multi-para-gravida' or something? Yeesh. My favourite part was where I jumped like HUGE odds in likelihood of having a Downs baby simply by turning 29 during the pregnancy with DS3....it was something really significant, like going from 1/1500 to 1/750.....

So silly and arbitrary!

[Shellbelle]

Good LORD. Shall we all get out our walking canes now?!?? That's horrible!!

Isn't there a term for having had kids too? So in two years I'll be a 'senile multi-para-gravida' or something? Yeesh. My favourite part was where I jumped like HUGE odds in likelihood of having a Downs baby simply by turning 29 during the pregnancy with DS3....it was something really significant, like going from 1/1500 to 1/750.....

So silly and arbitrary!

With your first, you're primagravida. With your second + you're multigravida. And yes, it's awful. She believes it was developed by a man, lol.

[Mrs_Incredible]

I worry about being here for them end seeing them have kids, and l do worry i'm being selfish by having one more to share myself round. Also not telling anyone irl this time as 4kids will be seen as mad to do full stop! Xx

[ELP]

I don't feel like 40. It's so unreal :worry: Yet it's sad fact I'm turning 40 in 2 weeks :(

I look my friends who are my age and completely are in 'midlife way of life' ( 1-2 kids older then 5, regular jobs, etc...) And I'm dreaming of my next baby like I'm in my 20's? Is that irresponsible? Or immature?
Or I shouldn't go with the main ****** so to speak?

The other day we had my DD1 b-day party and we were talking about the lady from church who is expecting her 3rd son ( I'm jealous beyond words, but that's not the topic here lol!) So I said she is young enough to have her 4th in a year or two and all of them jumped at me: no, that's too much! (wtf?????) 4kids? that's crazy!!!! One should know when enough is enough (!!!????)....and more of the same type comments.
I was bummed. They all have 1-2 kids and all are in the late 30's -early 40's. 2 kids are norm here. I'll be treated like irresponsible freak for having 4.

My biggest concern: will I be here long enough for them? I realize there are no guarantees, people can die no matter what age, maybe I'll live long enough to see all of them married?

Sorry for rambling. I'm so unsure am I in denial of my age and should accept the reality or I should feel the way I feel, not so old?
It makes me sad when people say things about the number of kids we choose to have:( If the children were neglected then Hell yes!! stop having them!! But why wouldnt these women like to meet 4 of their own children???? Whats wrong with their kids??? Are they an inconvenient???? Will they have to get rid of their tv package to feed them??? Ask them this next time they start:)

The way I see age and babies is, we are living longer and healthier as PP said especially swaying blue;) I am finding that I have way more energy atm than I did 5 years ago because of the better diet and supps!! And again as another PP said, alot of people get to an age and start slowing down as if this is what they are meant to do, 'Oh I'm over 40 I must start sitting down more, I'm old' !! No good! Family keeps your mind and body active, when the other 50 year olds are gardening we'll be bmx'ing in the park:bigsmile:

I do think that you should try for LO asap aswell though:agree: You can get a solid blue sway in place in about 3 months, diet, strength, supps. Think about it, I need a buddy!!!!:rofl:

[ELP]

I worry about being here for them end seeing them have kids, and l do worry i'm being selfish by having one more to share myself round. Also not telling anyone irl this time as 4kids will be seen as mad to do full stop! Xx
You'll be surprised at just how far you can stretch Mrs Incredible:bigsmile: And remember its not just mum and dad that make a family. I love ALL the different dynamics in my house, the friendships, the arguments, the banter, each part makes each of my children that bit more adept for when they leave home, more confident, more experienced with different personalities!! And then later on it will be your childrens, children, all the cousins that they'll have!!

[Zivic-Bubac]

I think having kids keeps you young!! I think if you can keep up with them, keep having them!!!Good point! :agree:

[Hobbermittens]

I actually don't feel 39 at all, aside from being run down and tired. :) I think you really need to try for your #4, ZB, or you will regret it. You have been thinking about getting HIM for a long time, and I hope you get HIM!

Don't worry how many kids anyone else has, and don't worry about your age. If you want another baby, just go for it!

[atomic sagebrush]

I don't feel old at all. I feel better about myself by far than I did when I was in my teens and 20's.

I know my husband feels worried that we won't be here for our littler ones. Weirdly, I worried about this a lot when my older two were little but now I don't even worry about it at all. Kids always seem to land on their feet and we know of young families that have lost parents too - there are no guaratees in life.

[Typical_Jules]

I'm 45 I don't feel 45 I do think having little kiddies keeps me young, I'm very active, I'm a bit over weight,I have some wrinkles, i dye my greys...I have to remind myself at times that I am 45 lol...

[Little Lunasa]

I feel 35... and I will be feeling 35 for a looooong time if anyone asks ;)

[KidAtHeart]

I'm 40 and preggers. I have to say, I've been pleasantly surprised by people's reactions. I really haven't had anyone be rude to me about having four. Lots of 'going for the girl' comments, but that's to be expected and doesn't bother me so much. I tend to be self-deprecating, so maybe I'm beating people to the punch :) But really, people have been nothing but gracious and congratulatory. I have more people say that they wish they had gone for the fourth than tell me I'm crazy. My husband on the other hand... he thinks I'm crazy. He comes from a family of two whereas I have four siblings. He does pretty well with the chaos, er, zone defense, but I know he's worried about not giving each of them enough time, and going through the infant/toddler stage again. It's kind of exhausting keeping up the positive emotions for both of us. I know once the baby is born he will be fine though... I just have to keep pushing through.

I am one to also always worry about what other people think of me. But you know what? Who cares? It's not like anyone else is going to raise this child. If your friends are judging you, maybe you should step back a bit from the friendship. Real friends help and support you. You are the one who knows how you really feel about having another. When it comes down to it, you have to be comfortable with your decision no matter what other people think. And who knows, you may be pleasantly surprised by other people's reactions. I also think that when you turn 40, it's the time when not only you but others are evaluating their own decisions concerning having more children. That clock ticks loudly! I saw other of my friends 'going for it' and it more inspired me to try one more time than turn me off to the idea. Look at yourself when you're 60 and looking back at this time. Will you regret not trying?

As far as not living long enough... oh, I just can't take on every worry. It's not like I'm 45 or 50 having another one. And what's the alternative? You bring a child into the world - will they be resentful of you being older? If you hadn't, they wouldn't even exist... so... do the best you can to take care of yourself and foster a healthy relationship with your child and that's really all you can do.

[1+2+3boys]

Nicely said Kid at heart :)

[1+2+3boys]

I know it's not quite the same but my partner is 16 years older than me and I know it is likely that he will go a long time before me. But I just don't think about that. I focus on having him now and that I love him so would rather have him for x amount of time then not at all. And if he does go long before me I will miss him heaps but have many special memories

[ella]

I think big families are ace! I have 5 (boys) and desparately hoping for number 6!

[desperate4blue]

I think big families are ace! I have 5 (boys) and desparately hoping for number 6!


Hi Ella

Please tell me what your diet consisted of and when u bd to get your boys?

Many thanks

[Gizzyntaz]

I'm 36. In my head I'm in my twenties. I am much more active now than when I was younger and I've noticed that I do have more aches and pains. I always thought we were done with our two boys, but have recently had an about face. Now I realize that we are still plenty young (if our bodies agree) and I think we will have plenty of company with "older" parents. I think that I am more patient, more wise and more appreciative than I was in my late twenties when I had my boys.

[3littleladies]

Im 39 next month, I don't feel old, I always get told I look younger which always makes me feel good, I look after myself though!

The last time I felt old was when dh and I went out to a club for a dance and we were surrounded by young 19-23yr olds, we didn't stay there long!!