Struggling with pigeon pair families.. still

[PlanB]

So I had bad gd after I had 2 girls. But then I was fortunate enough to fall pregnant with a boy from 1 ivf Pgd cycle.

He is now 14 months and I still deepdown secretly despise pigeon pair families. If they go on and have a third then instantly my hatred disappears.

I particularly hate them when the kids are spoiled little snots.

Anyway to make matters harder 99% of people I know have a pigeon pair. Fortunately some are having 3rd babies.

When will this gaping raging chip on my shoulder go away? I think I am rude to people and they don't like me and I dribble further down into my hole.

I even struggle badly with people who do high tech with their second. I think do you want to avoid 2 of the same gender so badly you are willing pay heaps and go through the stress to do that.

[Dreaming 4 a Girl]

I know exactly how you feel... It's hard to admit to though. I'd even go so far to say that I'm just jealous of anyone that has a girl, it feels like everyone has one except me. I've got 7 friends who are pregnant or just had a baby and all girls :sad:

It may just take more time for you to deal with this.

Gender disappointment is a VERY hard thing to deal with alone, cause not only is there the fact that you can't have your pigeon pair family but enormous guilt for feeling this way "when you should just be happy that you have a healthy baby" (As was said to me.) AND then to top it off if you go down the high tech path the stress, heartache and cost of it all.

Just give yourself some more time and don't be so hard on yourself. Don't forget your not alone... :Flower:

[xnicolax]

Im the same, I am riddled with jealousy when anyone who already has a boy, then gets a girl. Strangely, it doesnt bother me so much if they get the girl first? It's really like a slap in the face when someone has 2-3 boys then gets a girl. I dont know why, because on 1 hand, it gives me hope, but on the other hand im so jealous. Im always happy when people get what they want but I just want to know when it's my turn.

[Dreaming 4 a Girl]

It's really like a slap in the face when someone has 2-3 boys then gets a girl. I dont know why, because on 1 hand, it gives me hope, but on the other hand im so jealous.

I totally understand on that one xnicolax... Hopefully it will be our turn to get what we want soon!!

[PlanB]

Thank you :)

I do know there are others but only through this website so still feel alone.

A couple times I've raised it irl but I have always received suspicious glances so never continued.

But I hate it because it makes me a nastybitter person and I think it shines through. I really wanna move on.

I always thought if I helped someone get a bfp through superior art that would help. But that's not happening!

Or if one of my friends had 2+ kids of same gender that would help but that's not happening either.

[Lilian78]

Seems like you never get over the thoughts you have about gender even when you're happy with your family. For what it's worth, I think pigeon pair is what most people want, and what could be the worst for the kids. Parents are thrilled (one of each right away), but I think it's so special to have two (or more) sibilings of the same gender (especially close in age). I understand how you're feeling, but what you have is better than a PP in my opinion :)

[LolaInLove]

PlanB, I have a good friend from childhood who has a PP and when I mentioned that we were ttc, I stupidly mentioned swaying, that we were going to try a few things to up our odds of a boy, and she said, "Oh honey, it's all in God's hands, I don't believe any of that works." So, what, God wanted to bless you with the perfect family and not me? It did kind of set off a bit of the same feelings you have....but just remember that YOU have a perfect family now! You got your sweet boy! I bet there are a ton of women who would love to have your GGB family. That's what I had as a child, I was G#1, and it was awesome. I hope you start to have those feelings fade away, but don't feel bad about it....its natural!

[Pixiedoll]

Hi...I am soon going to be one of those hated PP families...I know this might be unwelcome but I just wanted to say that the OP has my dream family and I would never in a million years think I was better than anyone cos of my family makeup.

We swayed intensively for a year it wasn't just luck for us. I do believe in swaying I don't think it would have happened for us otherwise. It was a very humbling experience! Extreme dieting, Playing with DH's sperm in an incubator and not getting pregnant month after month was not my idea of fun baby making!!

It really makes me so sad to think I make other people really unhappy...although it's good to know people feel like this so I can be sensitive to others.

I really hope things work out and things get better for you in the way you feel. I really really envy those two little girls of yours.

We're not all smug cows...promise xxx

[puppydogstails]

Strangely, it doesnt bother me so much if they get the girl first? It's really like a slap in the face when someone has 2-3 boys then gets a girl. .

This is exactly the same for me, isn't it strange. Anyone that has only boy/s first and goes on to have a little girl, it really hits a nerve with me. I don't know if it's because i can relate more to that. I have two close friends with a Girl each who will soon be ttc thier 2nd child and i'm very happy for them and GD doesn't really rear it's ugly head there, but if a friend with a boy goes on to get pg i obssess constantly about what they will have. i don't know, can't help what you feel i guess.:sigh:

[Carnelian]

I'm totally jealous of your family. :-) My dream family was GGB but so far I have BB and will try *possibly* for #3 otherwise we may look at adoption as we have had to do IVF to have our kids and huge issues with pregnancy and prem babies etc so not sure if it's safe to have another.

[NYFamilyOfFiveRoses]

If I had a boy from HT in which I plan to try, I would be happy and complete and accept that the boy would never have a brother.

I ideally wanted a girl and a boy in whatever order they came and I did not. I had 3 girls. But even if the 3rd would be a boy, I would be happy.

I just do not think after never having a boy if I finally had a boy that I would really focus too much on those with a girl and a boy.

Yes, 4 kids will be too much and they would hardly be able to fit in my small townhome, but just finding out about HT now, I would be willing to have 4 kids and a small home etc. etc.

Sorry for blabbing.

The whole point is if I got a boy I would not look back to that.

It is like after I had my vbac, I do not get too jealous of those any more that just had vaginal births. Yes ideally I would never have wanted cesareans, but I got a taste of vaginal birth, and I cannot look back. can only be thankful that it worked for me.

Hope that makes sense.

Good luck to you.

[Amelie]

I feel the same about pigeon pair families. It is difficult for me to understand that most of them did not sway or anything and got one from each. I specially hate the mothers of BG, because it gives me the feeling that I failed. My best friend has 3 girls and I don't have too much of a problem with that. She told me how much she wanted a boy. That made me feel equal. But I do really feel jealous of my neighbor who just got a baby girl after two boys....

[Zivic-Bubac]

I 've never had troubles with PP families, it was always a sort of cliche. I always, always wanted all boys and I'm jealous beyond words when i see perfect families with 3 boys :sad: or 4 boys, which is even more perfect.

But obviously my dream of having 3 boys is dead ( and can't be resuscitated lol! since 3 kiddos is our maximum, oh well, DH's maximum, not mine :p)

My brother and SIL are expecting their 2nd boy, very good friend of mine is expecting 3rd boy :sad: I was so bitter when I heard it's another boy for her. And she has already said they are going for a 4th for sure, I bet it's going to be a boy :tissue:

[Myloves]

I 've never had troubles with PP families, it was always a sort of cliche. I always, always wanted all boys and I'm jealous beyond words when i see perfect families with 3 boys :sad: or 4 boys, which is even more perfect.

But obviously my dream of having 3 boys is dead ( and can't be resuscitated lol! since 3 kiddos is our maximum, oh well, DH's maximum, not mine :p)

My brother and SIL are expecting their 2nd boy, very good friend of mine is expecting 3rd boy :sad: I was so bitter when I heard it's another boy for her. And she has already said they are going for a 4th for sure, I bet it's going to be a boy :tissue:

:hugs: Who knows - that friend who has 3 boys may have badly wanted a daughter! It could be a reason she is deciding to have a fourth? Not many people know about my GD, and lots of them think that I really wanted sons (lol) because of the way I try to hide my desire for DDs. Maybe she's secretly having GD too.
You may not have the dream of having all boys, but you definitely have the chance of having two sons to go along with your two daughters. (And then you'll have the family make-up envied by many - two girls and two boys :awe:)

[purplepoet20]

I 've never had troubles with PP families, it was always a sort of cliche. I always, always wanted all boys and I'm jealous beyond words when i see perfect families with 3 boys :sad: or 4 boys, which is even more perfect.

But obviously my dream of having 3 boys is dead ( and can't be resuscitated lol! since 3 kiddos is our maximum, oh well, DH's maximum, not mine :p)

My brother and SIL are expecting their 2nd boy, very good friend of mine is expecting 3rd boy :sad: I was so bitter when I heard it's another boy for her. And she has already said they are going for a 4th for sure, I bet it's going to be a boy :tissue:

At least girls can be tomboys and play sports and do a lot of boy type things but a boy can not play dress up or with dolls... thats what makes me sad. I have all my old dolls just collecting dust.

[ilovemykids]

I'm also still jealous of PP families, and it makes me really happy when they intentionally have a third. But part of me also feels sorry for them. They will never get to see two little boys wrestling with each other on the floor or playing trains (or two little girls doing whatever little girls do together!).

[babyblue]

Wow...one would think all those feelings would go away after you had your boy. I would love nothing more than to have a baby boy in addition to the two girls I have. But I do know what you mean. Pigeon pairs are perfect and even with 3 and at least one of each gender sometimes it feels like one too many.


So I had bad gd after I had 2 girls. But then I was fortunate enough to fall pregnant with a boy from 1 ivf Pgd cycle.

He is now 14 months and I still deepdown secretly despise pigeon pair families. If they go on and have a third then instantly my hatred disappears.

I particularly hate them when the kids are spoiled little snots.

Anyway to make matters harder 99% of people I know have a pigeon pair. Fortunately some are having 3rd babies.

When will this gaping raging chip on my shoulder go away? I think I am rude to people and they don't like me and I dribble further down into my hole.

I even struggle badly with people who do high tech with their second. I think do you want to avoid 2 of the same gender so badly you are willing pay heaps and go through the stress to do that.

[BABYPINK3]

I really think its a case of the grass is greener....
I have a pigeon Pair, A girl then a Boy.
I never really thought about it at the time but after I had my girl the midwife said "you are so lucky to have a girl, it doesnt matter what you have next, because you have got your girl" now I get it. and sometimes I feel incredibly guilty around mothers with all boys about having a girl because I did absolutely nothing to sway for her. Although I was a text book girl dieter at the time, low fat everything, worked out everyday, skipped brekky and drank diet drinks. and not sure baout time but it was neither frequent or long abstinence.

When I conceived my boy it was taking a long time to conceive. I just wanted to get pregnant so unintentionally became a textbook boy dieter to promote fertility and timing was definately all through ovulation, chinese medicine accupunture everything.

You could say i had it all - a boy and a girl, the family was equal but I just felt the need to have another, to give my daughter a sister, or my son a brother. I looked at families with 3 kids, any combination and just felt envious. classic case of the grass is greener.

After months of convincing my DH to try for number 3 I am 8 weeks pregnant.... and feeling very nervous that I did the right thing. If its not a girl like we hoped for my son will be very happy to have a playmate but I will have to deal with the gender disappointment for my daughter. that will be hard.
Thanks for letting me share my story.

[Colourmepink]

Plan B I feel similar about PP. Especially since my 2 SIL have BG and GB and MIL has never tried to hide her favoritism towards her granddaughters :-(
I can't say how I'll feel if HT is successful and we finally have our daughter. Will I be too exhausted parenting 3 kids to feel jealousy or will I look at the family of 1 G or PP and find a knot still in my stomach?
GD sux big time. Everytime I hear of another friend having a daughter I clench up and a part of me grieves. I detest this part of myself.Thankfully this forum exists and I can be honest and frank here without fear of judgment x

[lucysky]

I feel like PP are all I see around me. Especially in movies and tv. It's like the world is mocking me.

[begonia]

I feel like PP are all I see around me. Especially in movies and tv. It's like the world is mocking me.

Oh for sure on TV... commercials and print ads of "families" are almost always with BG. I never noticed it much before (probably bc I grew up BG) but they are. Or if they have 2+ kids they still have one of each. I hate it, but at the same time totally get it ... after all, I didn't want 3 of a kind and that's WHY I came to this board, KWIM?

[gigi16]

I really think its a case of the grass is greener....
I have a pigeon Pair, A girl then a Boy.
I never really thought about it at the time but after I had my girl the midwife said "you are so lucky to have a girl, it doesnt matter what you have next, because you have got your girl" now I get it. and sometimes I feel incredibly guilty around mothers with all boys about having a girl because I did absolutely nothing to sway for her. Although I was a text book girl dieter at the time, low fat everything, worked out everyday, skipped brekky and drank diet drinks. and not sure baout time but it was neither frequent or long abstinence.

When I conceived my boy it was taking a long time to conceive. I just wanted to get pregnant so unintentionally became a textbook boy dieter to promote fertility and timing was definately all through ovulation, chinese medicine accupunture everything.

You could say i had it all - a boy and a girl, the family was equal but I just felt the need to have another, to give my daughter a sister, or my son a brother. I looked at families with 3 kids, any combination and just felt envious. classic case of the grass is greener.

After months of convincing my DH to try for number 3 I am 8 weeks pregnant.... and feeling very nervous that I did the right thing. If its not a girl like we hoped for my son will be very happy to have a playmate but I will have to deal with the gender disappointment for my daughter. that will be hard.
Thanks for letting me share my story.

The grass is always greener for sure! Whether it's the perfect pigeon pair, perhaps there's always a little envy with other family's gender sets. I had 2 boys then a girl, most thought and said that's great, now you're done!! Only then did I think, but what about a sister for my DD? My DH said NO, but 4 years later we welcomed DD's 3rd brother :-) . At 4yrs, she just loved having a baby to cuddle.

Now pregnant with number 5 part of me wants a DD for our girl to have a sister and the other part wants another DS so our little boy has a brother closer in age. My older two sons are only 2 years apart, but 11 and 9 years older than their baby brother. I can really see the age gap and how much he wants to be with the 'big boys' but at 2, is way too little for BMX riding and skateboarding around the block lol.

I'm happy either way, but will be have GD for one of my younger two children. It's amazing just how many people always saw themselves having a certain blend of genders with their children. Maybe it's the thought, not the reality. That's what my best friend says when I talk of not having a sister. She has 4 sisters and always dreamed of a brother. We can never win...unless you have 2 boys and 2 girls, like the Danish Royals!!!

[annabel♥lee]

My sister had a boy, then 2 years later a girl, then 2 years later another girl. Really grated on my nerves!!

[juffertje2]

my neighbour has 3 boys and 1 girl. My other neighbour has 2 boys and 1 girl.....after having 3 boys, am I not entitled to have my girl also???? I'm 8 weeks pregnant with #4 now. Please dear God....let it be a little girl...

[4devochki]

Hey, I recognize you from that other board, the one with the damn monkeys...just wanted to say HUGE congratulations on your pregnancy. I hope it's your dream come true.

[CapricornAquarius]

I dont have a problem with pigeon pairs, I do if I hear the comment "I dont need anymore kids cause I have one of each" now that gets under my skin.

[Glittergirl]

It's interesting cause PP NEVER appealed to me. i always felt sorry for kids that didn't have the same gender sibling, maybe cause we were all girls growing up. My ideal was always BBGG--I wont ever get that :(

[grasshopper]

I never wanted a PP...my husband did but I always wanted 2 of each, in any order really, with no desire for one gender over the other as long as I got both...LOL.

I do however understand the whole getting annoyed at parents of PP's...not all of course but they are generally the ones who wouldn't understand all of this...the whole gender desire thing. I know of a few.
If you are a parent of a PP and are on this forum then none of this really applies to you because to some degree you MUST understand what we all feel here or you would not be here yourselves.
The truth is though that most of us DO know of someone with the PP who brags about how they got one of each and/or are not tolerant of others and how they feel.

I LOVE that I have the 2 girls close in age...they will always have a special bond, my sister was much older than me but we luckily still have a wonderful bond, but my girls will share things together at the same time. I worry about if this baby is another girl whether it will upset the balance and if it's a boy I grieve for the brother it will never have. I guess we just have to let ourselves get over the fact that the little picture we had of our perfect family in our own heads has not/may not ever happen. Tough to let go of though I know.

[Yahmama]

I never wanted a PP...my husband did but I always wanted 2 of each, in any order really, with no desire for one gender over the other as long as I got both...LOL.

I do however understand the whole getting annoyed at parents of PP's...not all of course but they are generally the ones who wouldn't understand all of this...the whole gender desire thing. I know of a few.
If you are a parent of a PP and are on this forum then none of this really applies to you because to some degree you MUST understand what we all feel here or you would not be here yourselves.
The truth is though that most of us DO know of someone with the PP who brags about how they got one of each and/or are not tolerant of others and how they feel.

I LOVE that I have the 2 girls close in age...they will always have a special bond, my sister was much older than me but we luckily still have a wonderful bond, but my girls will share things together at the same time. I worry about if this baby is another girl whether it will upset the balance and if it's a boy I grieve for the brother it will never have. I guess we just have to let ourselves get over the fact that the little picture we had of our perfect family in our own heads has not/may not ever happen. Tough to let go of though I know.

I NEVER wanted a PP and somehow that's what my first two (successful) pregnancies were. Funny how it seems you never get what you want. I think siblings of the same gender have more in common to share/play/bond together. I'm thankful my girls have each other but i feel so sorry my son doesn't have a best bud like i see so many of my friends who have 2 boys close in age. I so desperately want that for him. That is mostly why i have gender desire, but also because my son is such a joy and he being my first i just miss having a little boy around. They're different from girls and even though i love my girls so much i just yearn for another little boy.

[begonia]

I figured out over Christmas what it is for me that is hard with the PP ... I'm happy enough not to have one, BUT ... I never, ever got to experience hearing that I was getting my desired gender. At least people with a PP get that experience one time, KWIM? Whether they want a boy or a girl (because everyone has a preference, no matter how slight) at least ONCE they get to walk out of the ultrasound/birth with a feeling of joy. I've never felt that. I've left every time trying to rationalize why having girls (1,2, and 3) is great ... not that it isn't, I adore them, but it was never what I wanted, so I've never gotten to have the feeling of joy that must come from getting what you prefer.

So that's what I envy about PP parents. At least once, for each of them, they got what they wanted. I wanted that experience so badly and will never have it.

[girlmom]

my perfect family was 2 little boys. something went wrong along the way. i had awful gender disappointment it hit me hardest when i had my 5th daughter. who has 5 girls? it was my turn to have a boy. so at 20 week they said girl and i cried and cried and pouted and wanted nothing to do with the pregnancy anymore. 2 weeks later i went into labor. my daughter was born alive. she weighed just 15oz. her eyes were still fused, she was so tiny. 3 doctors were in the room and they left saying, "im sorry, she's isn't considered viable until 25 weeks." i screamed at them to save her. she fought for two hours in my arms and finally passed away.
the point is while i was so disappointed in having another girl. i would give up a million boys to have her back. so yes this time i can't help but hope for a boy but as long as i get a healthy fullterm baby girl, im just as happy.

[begonia]

((Hugs)) girlmom. And FX for a H&H rest of your pregnancy!

[Alice]

I figured out over Christmas what it is for me that is hard with the PP ... I'm happy enough not to have one, BUT ... I never, ever got to experience hearing that I was getting my desired gender. At least people with a PP get that experience one time, KWIM? Whether they want a boy or a girl (because everyone has a preference, no matter how slight) at least ONCE they get to walk out of the ultrasound/birth with a feeling of joy. I've never felt that. I've left every time trying to rationalize why having girls (1,2, and 3) is great ... not that it isn't, I adore them, but it was never what I wanted, so I've never gotten to have the feeling of joy that must come from getting what you prefer.

So that's what I envy about PP parents. At least once, for each of them, they got what they wanted. I wanted that experience so badly and will never have it.

I totally understand this, I think this all the time. My best friend just had a little girl, her first baby. Although she was sensitive enough to my feelings not to go on about it, I know she wanted a girl. Since her delivery I have often wondered what it must be like to have the midwife say 'it's a girl!' and how that must feel. I have never experienced it. Just as you say, I end up having to almost talk myself round with what is good about having another boy. It must be nice to just be elated, and not have to 'work' on your feelings for months and months.

[jude17]

I recently went to my twin sisters sons birthday (5 years old twins) and there were lots of mums with pigeon pair kiddies. They were all so snotty I actually commented on this to my hubby. It was like they were all so much better than me as they had a girl and a boy so they didn't need or want to bother with someone who only had boys. The only really nice lady was a girl with 2 sons. My sister went on to have a girl 5 weeks before my second boy. She just had her first birthday yesterday. I knew that as she got older it would be harder for me to handle being around her. She is a very quiet girl and everyone was raving about how calm and wonderful she is while my little boy is already a bit of a handful and very active. Her husband is such a prick to me, always rubbing it in my face because 'they' got the girl and we didn't. I hate seeing him as he always says something about how its so wonderful they got the little girl and isn't she so lovely. Then to top if off I went around to my sisters today and she said isn't your boy so active, he must be your worst nightmare! I see her so much as they live just around the road from me but I am really feeling like I just can't see them as much anymore. Feel so depressed and hope one day I can join the club of having a mixed gender family as well. So at the moment I hate being around people who have had boys and then got a girl for their last especially if they don't even understand how wonderful it would be for me to have a little girl and say hurtful comments without even thinking about what they are saying.

[PlanB]

Jude17 I really hope you get your girl too :)

[fivebabies]

I am so sorry that you ladies (and myself) have to feel this way! Why do PP moms have to treat moms of one gender likethey are lesser of a producer of children. I hate snots like that.

I secretly root for people to have opposite of what they want sometimes...not always. Just when I'm jealous. lol.

And I don't think having only a PP is what it's cracked up to be. I would be so sad to only have 2 kids. :(

[juffertje2]

the one with the damn monkeys...

Indeed, and me and my Dutch friends have moved over here! No problems yet....
Thanks btw. I'm 20 weeks now and thursday I'm having my 20 weeks scan, so I will know the gender in 2 days.... I'm soooooooooooo nervous!

[juffertje2]

Sometimes I feel like I don't count because I have children of the same gender. I feel like people think I'm pitiful because I don't have both. Maybe I'm wrong, but that's the way I feel sometimes.

[Princess of Pink]

I don't envy them....I pity them!! They have no idea what they are missing out on. The love and friendship between same sex siblings in just amazing. I would take my 5 girls over only having one of each any day!!

[Princess of Pink]

Oh and I know a lady who tells me she is "clever" because she got a boy then a girl and can be done!!

[Waiting4Daisy]

When I registered my oldest son for school, the depute head commented on how lovely and well behaved my two boys were (my oldest was in nursery, but is equally lovely and well behaved!). Then she asked if I was done, I said I'd always wanted 5 (which is true) and she said well with three boys you'll have to go again for your girl. She then said she had got a boy and a girl so she could be done. Sigh.

When I went to the docs, he asked me if I was going to keep going til I have a girl. I wonder when it became the world's business about what my vagina gets up to! Must have missed that memo.

For the record I never wanted a pigeon pair, I want 5 in the order: BBGBG or BBGGB. If I got a girl next, I'd think I won the lotto for sure!

[stik]

Ohh the "clever" comments always get up my goat. So I'm just plain stupid for not having a PP or something? grr

[zibibbogirl]

People can be really insensitive. I know some people with a PP don't mean to be, they just don't know any better, but some people are just downright offensive and nasty. I have three boys and all the time people say to me "oh, three boys, how do you manage?" and "oh, three boys, what a handful, poor you" and "Thank God I had a boy and then a girl, because I couldn't handle another boy". Like having a boy is a punishment worse than death or something...

I love every one of my boys so much, there isn't one of them I would trade for any girl. I am sure the ladies with all girls would not trade their girls for any boy either. I guess it is not so much about Gender Disappointment as Dream Family Disappointment. No matter what you have, if it isn't what you had in mind, it can be hard to get over.

Some people want one of each gender, some people want two of one gender, some people want two of each so everyone has a playmate, some people don't care about the mix as long as they get to hear the opposite gender at an ultrasound just once.

When I was having my first, I wanted a boy and he was a boy, so I have experienced that joy. But I had GD with my second because I always thought I would have a boy, then a girl. It was such a big shock when he wasn't a girl. I was like, how did that happen? Now I realise how silly I was, thinking I would just automatically have one and then the other like magic, because my parents did.... I can see now how much work goes into getting it.

I had only planned on having two kids at that time. It took me a while to accept that two boys was going to be it for me. Then my marriage broke up and I was grateful because it was a terrible thing for my boys to go through, but I knew they had each other, that brotherly bond.

When I met my new DH I moved to a town where everyone has four, five or six kids. I just never felt finished (not just because of gender) so DH and I talked about it and we decided to have two more. I didn't even attempt HT or swaying for DS3. Everyone was wanting a girl for me, but I had no GD because I had no gender expectations. He was a "free" shot if you like because I knew I was going to have one more after him (and I couldn't love him more if I tried, he is amazing). My DH loves the two older boys like his own, but it is lovely for him to have a biological DS too.

I am going to go HT for a girl later in 2012, but there are no guarantees. If that does not work, we might just have to take pot luck (it would be funny if I got a girl naturally after spending all that $$$). But if it is another boy, I am looking forward to him being just as amazing as the ones I have now. I will probably have some GD knowing that it was my last chance and it is all over. That said, DH told me the other day he isn't opposed to even more.. LOL. But I am 35, so I know this is it.

Same sex siblings love each other so much and they are just so cute together. My older two are only two years apart and I used to dress them the same when they were little. And a PP is cute too. No matter what you have, the grass is always greener on the other side, there is always going to be some disappointment. I know that even if I get a girl this time, she will never have a sister (unless we have PGD twins... eeek).

It is just so hard to explain GD to people who don't understand. That is why we have each other here. We understand perfectly what we sometimes struggle to put into words for other people.

[sweetpea]

Plan B I feel similar about PP. Especially since my 2 SIL have BG and GB and MIL has never tried to hide her favoritism towards her granddaughters :-(
I can't say how I'll feel if HT is successful and we finally have our daughter. Will I be too exhausted parenting 3 kids to feel jealousy or will I look at the family of 1 G or PP and find a knot still in my stomach?
GD sux big time. Everytime I hear of another friend having a daughter I clench up and a part of me grieves. I detest this part of myself.Thankfully this forum exists and I can be honest and frank here without fear of judgment x

I am soooo sorry you have had to deal with this, but I just wanted to tell you that I am in the same boat with my IL's. When I was pg with DS1, but didn't yet know he was a boy (too early), my SIL found out she was having a girl. My MIL (who has two sons) is a huge loud-mouth, and she gushed and blabbed all over about how she's thrilled she's having a granddaughter, because she is, and I quote, "...so OVER having boys. I did the boy thing - I want girls now!" :( It really hurt to sit there, pregnant, not knowing what my little bean was yet...but that my MIL was so "over" having boys around. Fast forward to being pg with DS2, and again, before I even knew what I was having, my FIL said to me one day, "I really hope it's a girl - I'm so sick of boys." Which was basically a dig to my DS1 (not to mention his OWN sons!) by saying that. Who says things like this?! I just don't get it. I am terrified of having boy #3 - not just bc of my own GD, but because I know I'll be disappointing everyone around me, and I just DO NOT want to hear the comments from my IL's again. Ugh. :(

[envisioned]

OMG the ultrasound thing. Don't get me started on what it's like to feel that type of joy to hear that you're getting the DG. After I heard about DD2, I waited til the tech was done and I broke down into hyperventilating pieces. I liken it a lot to someone dying. You just feel like why me? The grief was so raw. I spent my entire pregnancy livid and depressed. And when she was born I fell so in love with her instantly - something I never felt with DD1. To this day I don't understand why it changed with DD2 and not DD1.

It doesn't make my wanting a son any less, but as someone who never wanted a PP, but wanted 2 boys (and then whatever came after would be fine whether it was a boy or a girl for a 3rd), I do realize that I would never give her up now for a million boys. NOW I am envious of PP's more so than I ever was, because they get to experience both worlds. She's taught me that. Again, I don't know why it took til DD2 to realize what I would have missed out on.

I do find though that as I get older and closer to my "reproductive abilities" ending, the want gets a million times worse. I don't want to be 75 years old and wishing I had had a boy. People always says oh maybe you'll get tons of grandsons. I'm like do I get to name him? Raise him? Raise him like I want? Take him to little league? Watch him grow into a mini handsome version of my DH that I love so much? Does he get to take on the family last name that will become obselete in the world if we don't have a boy? Right. Grandson. It's not the same.

[TwoSweetGuys]

I understand what you're feeling, though PPs are not an issue for me. Mine is when I see families of 2 or 3 girls - it slays me!

[envisioned]

OT - I just looked at your signature! Congratulations! Seriously after all that, oh gosh I am really happy for you!

[Myloves]

I understand what you're feeling, though PPs are not an issue for me. Mine is when I see families of 2 or 3 girls - it slays me!

I know how you feel :(.