Did you tear during your baby's birth?

[Hobbermittens]

Just wondering what everyone's experiences were? How long did it take for you to heal, how bad was the tear, etc.?

With my first three babies, I had either no tearing at all or a micro tear that the doctor called a "skid mark" that barely required a stitch or two. Those tears were also inside my vajayjay and I never felt the stitches or any pain at all. I wouldn't have even known about them if the doctor hadn't mentioned it.

This time, my baby was a pound and an inch bigger than my previous 3 babies (he was 8lb 6oz) and I guess my body couldn't stretch enough to let him through. I got a tear in the spot where the doctor would do an episiotomy (he obviously didn't do one, which is fine, I have heard tears heal easier?). I don't know the degree of the tear (no one told me) and when I asked how many stitches I was getting, he told me he put in a running stitch.

I am 2.5 weeks past delivery now, and it still hurts when I try to wipe after using the toilet, and hurts when I touch that area, but it doesn't hurt the rest of the time.

Just wondering how long it takes this area to heal? Is sex going to be painful? :worry:

[Mrs_P]

I had really really bad tear with ds2 (ds1 episiotomy, ds3 tears at top and bottom but nothing major) its that bad i still remember how painful it was and that was 4+ years ago. I couldn't even sit up til after i was stitched it was so painful and i cried with the pain of the stitches (was sooooo much worse than giving birth). It was sore for ages after, i had to sit really carefully even with cushions and the big maternity pads it hurt. I remember being worried about dtd but it was probably about 8 weeks after we tried and it was fine (no different to after any of the others anyway) i just really worried it would hurt.

My mom told me to put savalon in my bath and that really helped it all heal but it was a bad tear (she they had to stitch the inside of me then the outer bit of the inner, then the outer parts took her ages). Midwife also told me not to wipe after going to loo just dab if you can saves putting stress on the stitches. Also keep an eye on how it looks, mine went slightly puffy as the stitches were a little tight so i had to have them cut in one place

[Hobbermittens]

Oh Mrs. P, that sounds painful! :( When did they cut your stitches for being too tight? I haven't looked at mine, just felt them. Maybe I should get out the mirror.

[dloui128]

I had an episiotomy with my first and I swear the pain lasted for a month, I could barely sit. Every time I went to the bathroom I used the water bottle the hospital gave me and put hot water in it and used the numbing spray which helped alot. I didn't even attempt to have sex until it didn't hurt anymore when I touched the area .

[Rosie85]

Episiotomys are the absolute worst!! I thought the recovery from that was worse than my c-section for sure. I think I would rather tear. I am going to do everything in my power to prevent the need for one and to prevent tearing.

[Cinss]

I had an episiotomy too, it took about 2 weeks before i could sit down without my pool ring, and sex at 6 weeks was really tender, everything back to normal about 2 months after birth.

[Rosie85]

Did you ladies have your epis. down the middle or to one of the sides??

[dloui128]

Did you ladies have your epis. down the middle or to one of the sides??

mine was all the way down the middle

[jennaesue]

With ds1 (who was also 8lbs 6oz, by the way, but not my biggest boy), I had a epi (which I DID NOT want but the dr. did away....grrr....) and also tore. It was a 4th degree tear. It was really horrible. I remember telling my dh a few days later I didn't even feel like that is my body down there, it felt so puffy. Anyway, the hospital gave me a sitz bath that I used on the toilet with hot water, and I also used a spray pain reliever - I think it's called Lanacaine. It took awhile to heal - probably about 4 or 5 weeks. The good news is, I went on to have no epi and no tear with ds2 (8lbs 1oz) and only a minor tear with ds3, who was my biggest at 8lbs 13oz. I don't think you are planning on more kids, but if you do happen to have more, you are not sentenced to tear again just because you did before!

[Hobbermittens]

Glad I never had the episiotomy--sounds awful! I don't think they routinely do them around here anymore. At least no one I know has had one.

[Cinss]

Did you ladies have your epis. down the middle or to one of the sides??

Down the middle too, 3 snips long.

[BabyCakesTor]

With DS1 (8lbs 21 1/2in), my dr cut me top to bottom- total of 5 snips! Down the middle. With DS2 (7lbs6oz 20 1/2in) I was begging for the cut after 26 1/2 hours of unmedicated labor, I couldn't push any harder and he wasn't budging. (To the side) With DS3 (9lbs11oz 22 3/4in) I felt like I had more control and wasn't scared either way (to cut or not to) but myDS3 was just too big, he was stuck and the dr cut me as the nurses pushed my stomach but the snip was small to the side over the scar from DS2.


Secret I learned with the first... USE the water bottle every time u go tinkle with warm water, then pat dry. Put TUCKS pads on you maxi to help reduce swelling. And use Dermaplast spray for pain relief. Every time you use the restroom or shower until About 4 weeks. I felt that my DS2 took longer to heal and at about 2-3 weeks PP it felt like I had sat on razor blades but it was because the stitches were too dry <I stopped using the water bottle or tucks>with DS3, the cut was so much smaller than the others that I healed pretty quick with no issues. I used the Tucks, water and Dermaplast for 4 weeks PP this time too. As for DTD my DH is bigger than my ex by A LOT (tmi) and we waited 4 months because I was so scared and it was not painful at all. With my first 2 my ex husband and I DTD about 6-7 weeks PP and it was uncomfortable for the first couple times but not painful or unbearable. HTH but if you are really swollen or uncomfortable, don't hesitate to call your OB and ask them questions. It will be sore to touch for awhile.... And if you are relaxed DTD it shouldn't be too painful. Maybe a Lil uncomfortable..... It's different for everyone. Key is to relax and use some lube if it will help u relax :) GL

[jennaesue]

Dermaplast! That is the spray I was thinking of! Thanks, BabyCakesTor!

[Rosie85]

Yeah I can't forget the dermaplast this time. NObody ever thought to mention it to me last time and I was in so much pain I couldn't walk. I could barely get into the bath tub either to take a warm bath with the salts.

[Hobbermittens]

They actually give out the dermaplast at the hospital where I delivered. It is pretty awesome! It works on all sorts of injuries, like bee stings, scrapes, etc. Good to have around!

[Butterfly Spirit]

They actually give out the dermaplast at the hospital where I delivered. It is pretty awesome! It works on all sorts of injuries, like bee stings, scrapes, etc. Good to have around!

We use that in my family on EVERY cut! It's awesome stuff!!!! :D

[Rosie85]

I will stock up just in case.

Doc said the cut to the right or left hurts way more but heals better and has less complications later than the one right down the middle. Whatever doctor because I can still feel pain there and it's been two years.

[Mrs_P]

Oh Mrs. P, that sounds painful! :( When did they cut your stitches for being too tight? I haven't looked at mine, just felt them. Maybe I should get out the mirror.

I was probably about 2ish weeks past delivery, they just felt tight sort of stretched and everything was quite puffy and red looking but if they are sore do keep an eye on them (particularly to make sure there not infected)

[Mrs_P]

Did you ladies have your epis. down the middle or to one of the sides??

They did mine in like a sweeping cut towards the side it was really neat i just have a little silver scar line now, it also did re-spilt with the next baby unlike the tear i had. But the midwife who did my stitches after ds2 was a right butcher i have one side a different shape to the other where i tore so bad and few weird bit of skin that didn't get stitched back quite right (sorry tmi i know) funnily enough one of the midwifes wanted to another cut with him but the first went no she'll be fine its her second baby - tear was more extreme than the cut would have been so could have just been a bad midwife (i also had a couple of scratches from her nails where she'd tried to stretch me during delivery)

[Yuzu]

You know, I've torn with all three of mine, probably will with the fourth, and it didn't bother me after at all! Didn't hurt afterwards except one time when I wiped too hard--brutal! Maybe I'm not sensitive 'down there.'

[sugarNspice]

I had an episiotomy and a third degree tear with DD#2, who came out with a hand up by her face... and I don't remember the tearing itself hurting so much, or the recovery being so terrible (lots of dermaplast, and witch hazel on pads, too, I think), but oh, the part where they had to sew up the tears with this long giant needle inside my vagina was sooooo painful. I had a natural birth with DD#2, and really loved the experience, but just reading this thread makes me cringe, since I am pregnant right now.

Seems like most people had less tearing with subsequent children, right? (:fx: I hope, I hope, I hope!)

[Cinss]

I am freaking out a little bit reading this thread now that im pregnant too. Oh i hope my episi scar doesnt rip open :(

[dloui128]

I am freaking out a little bit reading this thread now that im pregnant too. Oh i hope my episi scar doesnt rip open :(

Mine didn't when I had DD2 and she was just as big as DD1 and she was face up, I think your body is more accommodating the 2nd time around

[lobella2]

I had an episiotomy with my first, but did not have one with my 2nd or 3rd and I did not tear either. So there is hope of not having as much tearing with subsequent pregnancies.

[Boymomsrock]

Tore internally with my first but not externally and he was 8 1/2 lbs. With the twins she gave me a tiny episiotomy because baby A was coming out so fast, though i don't think it was necessary. I wasn't even remotely sore after the twins birth. I think because they were born so fast they didn't have time to sit there and make me sore, unlike ds #1 who they let sit there and stretch me for a long time. I was sore for months!

[sugarNspice]

I am freaking out a little bit reading this thread now that im pregnant too. Oh i hope my episi scar doesnt rip open :(

This is totally my worry, too... I think I remember reading that episiotomies are more likely to re-open than natural tears, because they're cut straight, and the different layers of skin knit back together better with a natural tear that is uneven or jagged.

[Hobbermittens]

Seems like most people had less tearing with subsequent children, right? (:fx: I hope, I hope, I hope!)
Not me, which is why I started the thread. I bare had any issues at all with my first 3 babies, but tore with #4! :( I guess I had to finish with a bang! :sigh:

[sugarNspice]

Not me, which is why I started the thread. I bare had any issues at all with my first 3 babies, but tore with #4! :( I guess I had to finish with a bang! :sigh:

Maybe just because he was bigger than the others? Do you think there was anything that your doctor/midwife did differently that time that might have contributed to the tearing?

(this time around, I think I might like NOT to be flat on my back during the pushing phase--I feel like the midwife wanted me to be in that position b/c it was easier for her, not because it was the best position for me.)

also, to answer your original question--I think I had some pain for about 6 weeks to a couple of months afterwards, but it only REALLY hurt for the first 2-3 weeks... everything after that was minor. I don't think we DTD for about 4 months afterwards, mostly because I was scared to, and also tended to be dry from BF so much, but when we finally did, it was completely fine. :happy:

[HopefulMonster]

I had a pretty bad tear.

LO was very small and I went into labour before 36 weeks. Basically they got their hand and arm in the birth canal up with their head by their face, so when I finally pushed them out, their little arm tore right through me on the way!!
They thought it had torn right the way through from my vagina to my bum (there's no nice way of saying that is there!) and I had 2 obgyns put my legs in stirrups and basically fist me for what felt like hours to determine whether I would need to be put under and taken into theatre for reconstruction an staples etc, or whether I could get away with just internal stitches. It was honestly worse than the bloody delivery itself!!

Luckily while it had worn the wall dangerously thin, it hadn't actually torn right through so I just had a ton of internal an external stitches (that they made a right mess of, it loosk like picasso painting down there now!!!)

I had to bathe it twice a day and I'll be honest I didn't even dare wipe properly for like 6 months LOL! Braveheart me!! I was properlyl traumatised by it because it stayed sore for ages, & I'd have rather eaten my own arm than have sex, but most of it was in my head because when I FINALLY got the courage to lie there like a corpse wincing in anticipation lmao, it was actually fine, unpleasant because I was (tmi) dry and tight from being uptight an not into it, but no actual problems other than me freaking myself out about it!

[Wanting-a-girl]

Omg this thread is horrid lol I'm cringing the whole time reading it

I never had an epi and thank god I didn't the thought of having one terrifies me!

My first son who was 6 14 had to be suctioned out with the vacuum thing and I had 4th degree tearing and it took over an hour of stitching I have no idea how many all I know I'd I was mangled lol it was terrible and I couldn't sit for a couple weeks I was so scared with my second thinking It was going to be terribly painful after but nope not one tear I could have gotten up and run a marathon after him and same with my third.... Prayi for a good delivery the fourth time around as well

And that water bottle thing that the hospital gives you is an absolute god send....

[rainbowflower]

I had a first degree tear with my first (he was a tiny 6lb 12oz)
I had a second degree tear with my second despite doing everything to prevent one - giving birth in water, on my knees, not pushing and letting each contraction edge him out. On the plus side I didn't feel it happen because we'd taken it so slow. Apparently I couldn't have done more, he just had a massive head!

[thehappypixi]

I had second degree tear and grazing with no.1, no stitches, all healed nicely. No.2 was a first degre tear, think the water birth helped :D

[my4leafclover]

ugh, I forgot about all of this stuff. I think episiotomy or tearing was my biggest fear with each. My first was a c-section. ds # 2 I had a small tear off to the side one or two stitches. DS #3 no tear no epis and he was my biggest baby 9#8oz. I am a small person so that in itself was amazing. I credit the dr. for no tearing. Hemorroids ended up causing me the biggest pain and discomfort after birth!!