Poor excuse for a sister? That's me!

[Dreaming 4 a Girl]

So to cut a VERY long complicated story short, My 16yr old sister who is 20wks pregnant to her ex bf who is 10yrs older than her rang me to tell me she is having a girl!! And it took everything i had to not cry over the phone while thinking how dare you, you shouldn't even be pregnant and none of us are happy for you, and dad should have made you terminate it.

It took me 3 years to have my second child that i desperately wanted to be a girl, and bam just like that she falls pregnant AND with a girl. I feel like she's taken something away from me.

I really hate myself for feeling like this... I feel like the worst person ever. I am really finding this whole situation very difficult. She needs support and understanding from me and i just don't know how to give it? as every time i think about it i just wanna cry.

Sorry just needed to vent....

[atomic sagebrush]

You are NOT a poor excuse for a sister! Feelings are what they are, it is our behavior that matters.

This is very similar to what happened to me as well. I waited for 13 years to have more children and had to pick up massive quantities of dog crap (worked at a dog kennel to raise $$ to have more babies) only to pop out two more boys. Meanwhile, my brother who had been in and out of jail, knocked up an 18 year old and of course it was a girl. And weirdly, that didn't bother me half as much as my sister who also was pregnant at the same time and wanted a boy and of course got one - my brother wanted a boy.

GD sucks and none of us choose this. I wish we could just automatically get what we want without all this angst but it doesn't seem to work that way. I hope your DD is in your future very soon!

[nuthinbutpink]

I'm sorry. I know how that stings.

[prettyinpink18]

I agree, I can only imagine how bad this stings. DS1 was a year old when my evil (now ex) sil found out she was having a girl. It felt like a punch in the stomach. I am sorry you are feeling so bad right now. :(

[Coccinelle33]

im sorry i know it's hard. i have a daughter and every time someone i know is having a baby i pray it's a boy just so i don't have a hard time dealing with it. im sorry your going though this.

[Dreaming 4 a Girl]

Thanks everyone, i am feeling a little bit better with it all, it really does help when you can talk about stuff with ppl who know what it's like, even if they are virtual strangers.

It's just like you said in an old post atomic, it's not going to be MY daughter and i need to keep focusing on that. I just hope she doesn't want me to go shopping for baby girl stuff.

This whole situation is just such a mess, I'm really praying she grows up and takes responsibility and looks after her baby. With everything she is and has put the family through. my DH half jokingly asked are you sure you still want a daughter? lol. Everyone says that boys are easier. I think they can all cause their own share of joy and heart aches.

[Brighter]

you know I still get jealous now I had my DG and I am still having GD from time to time (hence I am here). It is hard, I look at all the families I see with all girls and dream... but this is it for us, I can't have anymore...

[ELP]

You are not a poor sister Dreaming:) A poor sister would have let her have it there and then on the phone. Your a big sister who knows that their little sis is probably scared deep down and will be looking to you to make evrything fine in the whirlwind ahead:) Does she know your longing for a little girl yourself?

[Dreaming 4 a Girl]

Yes ELP she does know i want a little girl, which made the whole thing harder for both of us as she feels really guilty, But it's not her fault its just one of those things i guess. I'm feeling better about the whole thing though, a friend of mine had a little girl (her 3rd) 2 weeks ago who ive spent alot of time with and strangely i don't feel all that jelouse or upset, i guess cause she isn't MY daughter. However it still stings when ever i am out shopping and see a really cute dress or something. My GD is starting turn into anger and frustration over the laws here banning GS.