DH's opinion

[Zivic-Bubac]

How does your DH feel about 'just one more baby'? :)

Does he feel he is: too old for this s***/done/unprepared for one more?

My DH told me not to even joke about No4, but he'll come to his senses :bigsmile: He is a good man who dearly loves our daughters so he will love our son as well. He has that 'man type' thoughts, like money, space, bigger car, time etc.

Also, what worries me more, his sex drive is so low, it's been a big problem during TTC process :worry: It is just too much for him to BD every 3-4 days, let alone 2 days. It wasn't like that when we dated and got married... I realize he works a lot and feels exhausted, but I do everything in the house and with the kids. When I say everything, I mean EVERYTHING.

My sex drive is low as well, so it doesn't bother me in non-TTC time lol. He is a year younger then me, 39. I wonder will he have any strength in less then a year when we TTC again.

For this failed sway I was giving him l-carnitine, l-arginine, zinc, CoQ-10, vit.E, Omega 3-6 and I probably forgot something. He is overweight, love sweets, rarely eats fruits and veggies, doesn't drink or smoke. No exercise except basketball for 1 hour once a week.

He doesn't cooperate in swaying :mad:

[Mum23boys]

Ha ha ha my DH WAS adament no more - never ever ever !!! In the end bribery worked - I promised him if he got me pregnant he could have a sports car ( we used to have one and sold it when we had our 1st child ) - we cant afford one but i figured i could save for the next 10 years - i didnt say how soon he could have one !!! ha ha
Anyway after 3 months of persistence he finally backed down - i dont think he is really happy about the whole idea but he si doing it cos he knows its what i want and thats why i so desperately want to give him the daughter he has always longed for.

[pebmcpd7]

For this failed sway I was giving him l-carnitine, l-arginine, zinc, CoQ-10, vit.E, Omega 3-6 and I probably forgot something. He is overweight, love sweets, rarely eats fruits and veggies, doesn't drink or smoke. No exercise except basketball for 1 hour once a week.
He doesn't cooperate in swaying :mad:

I thought giving vitamins and omega oils etc, was swaying boy!!! I was going to give DH folic acid and was told to hold off doing it..

[cvd]

Aw man! I almost wish Dh was like that lol!!!
We are only preg with our second but I am ADAMANT this is it!!!!! I am an only child and NEVER wanted kids of my own. I love my DS to bits and I am so glad to have our second on the wat but as a single child, my patience... Well lets say I have room for growth lol! I can handle 2 but I think I'd go crazy with more. DH IS INSANELY adamant about 3!!!! This is it for me, I swear he will never give up. We are only 9 weeks preg and he's already planning things for number THREE lol he is almost like the wife in this relationship :) but I already told him he's getting the snip once this baby is born hehehe!!! If I was up for it, DH would want to birth a hockey team of his own.

[Dreamofpink]

Can we swap DHs CVD????!!!!!!!!!!! I talked mine into trying for number 3 just now, but I've my heart set on four altogether! He'd be happy with two.

[Mrs_Incredible]

My dh wasn't too keen although the fact he hadn't talked about the snip made me think he wasn't done either. He desperatley wants a daughter too but if I was done I think he could live with it without it being an 'issue' - however I feel we have one more shot at it and I would always regret not trying. However 4 kids worries me, I think life is pretty hectic, and I worry I am failing the kids I have by not being super mum!! I was worried there as he did say no the week we finally had the 'talk' and he agreed we would have one more before the snip!! xx

[Mrs_P]

Yeah my dh is pretty much like yours - practicalities and he said no more after ds3. But i am lucky in that he loves me and wants me to be happy and saw how much it was affecting me and how strong my desire was and he gave in (although tbh as i have said on another thread before unless its a outright no with him its more a case of how much i want it and how much i bug him before he says yes - although if he says no he means it and he has only ever done this to be twice in 11 years) something i may well regret when i hear ds4 as he won't say yes again.

They are also more likely to say yes when the baby phase has finished and they've forgotten how hard it is (even though i do all the work he still moaned about the sleepless nights :rolleyes:)

If its something that is that important to you (which from reading your posts you seem like me and the answer is yes) keep at it - you won't regret the kids you do have (especially having seen how gorgeous your girls are) but you may regret the one you don't have. Sending you all my blue baby dust, just in case x

[coocoobananas]

My dh is totally fine me going for 4... He only wanted 2 but he is fine if that's what I need to do:) I actually wish he wouldn't say that and told him so as I don't want 4 kids and him leaving that door open makes me think having another try... But I can't go through this again, the gd. I will only do ht and he is totally against that do I sm going to try my hardest to let the dream go:(

[myGirl]

My DH doesn't want a 4th either. He gives me the guilt trip about robbing our boys of money and opportunities if we have another. He wants the boys to have every opportunity (club soccer, summer camps, vacations, etc.) and a baby would take all our extra money and time. I totally disagree! We have a 4 bedroom house (one of the bedrooms sits empty since 2 of the boys share!), a minivan and I'm a SAHM. I told him I would go back to work in a couple years to help us financially, but he would rather I went back to work now to provide more opportunities for our kids (and stop dreaming of a baby!).

I'm so frustrated with him because after DS3 was born he promised me we'd try for #4. Now he is so happy and content with his 3 boys he wants to change his mind. And he is as stubborn as a mule!

The only way I have been ttc with him is through bribery. He is always up for dtd, and he can't resist garters and high heels LOL. I guess I'm lucky he has a high sex drive, but that's probably why we have boys. Every month he warns me that he's going to make an appointment to get the snip. My next move is to promise him he can buy the fishing boat he's always wanted if I get pg.

I'm a firm believer that God provides, and no matter how many kids we have we'll be a happy family with everything we need. But I'm starting to get worried that its not in Gods plan for me to have a 4th because it hasn't happened in 8 months of trying. I know it's my age, and I've been trying to be patient, take some supps for egg health and just pray like crazy.

Anyone have any comebacks for the money argument against having more kids?

[myGirl]

I thought giving vitamins and omega oils etc, was swaying boy!!! I was going to give DH folic acid and was told to hold off doing it..

Pebmcp, Zivic is a boy swayer, so her supps are different than ours :)

Zivic, have you looked into Maca root for your DH? I am taking it for fertility (because I want a baby of either gender at this point) and it has done wonders for my energy level and ovulation. It is a natural fertility superfood and is supposed to increase sperm count in men.

[Rosie85]

I am having issues too. Dh is fine with one more but not two more. The thing is we want to try sperm sorting if my back gets better after this current failed sway pregnancy. I tld him I am not leaving this earth until I get my girl. The microsrt has a 91% success rate for a girl...well that's 9% chance for a boy. I said if we do sorting and get a boy I want to still adopt a girl. If we sort and get a girl I will be done. He says no no no no no to the adopting a girl if the sorting were to fail. NOT fair :-( humph

[cvd]

Can we swap DHs CVD????!!!!!!!!!!! I talked mine into trying for number 3 just now, but I've my heart set on four altogether! He'd be happy with two.

LOL! Sure!!!! I keep telling him we can have more if he will be the stay at home parent (which he's totally ok with) and if he can have the csections for me (and the pregnancy)!!! LOL he ends up in a grump every time!

[BabyCakesTor]

Aw man! I almost wish Dh was like that lol!!!
We are only preg with our second but I am ADAMANT this is it!!!!! I am an only child and NEVER wanted kids of my own. I love my DS to bits and I am so glad to have our second on the wat but as a single child, my patience... Well lets say I have room for growth lol! I can handle 2 but I think I'd go crazy with more. DH IS INSANELY adamant about 3!!!! This is it for me, I swear he will never give up. We are only 9 weeks preg and he's already planning things for number THREE lol he is almost like the wife in this relationship :) but I already told him he's getting the snip once this baby is born hehehe!!! If I was up for it, DH would want to birth a hockey team of his own.

I said I was done after DS3 and here I am hoping he will agree to TTC next month....I just have to try all I can for a girl and if I have a boy- well hopefully my boys will give me grand-daughters

[Mrs_Incredible]

My DH doesn't want a 4th either. He gives me the guilt trip about robbing our boys of money and opportunities if we have another. He wants the boys to have every opportunity (club soccer, summer camps, vacations, etc.) and a baby would take all our extra money and time. I totally disagree! We have a 4 bedroom house (one of the bedrooms sits empty since 2 of the boys share!), a minivan and I'm a SAHM. I told him I would go back to work in a couple years to help us financially, but he would rather I went back to work now to provide more opportunities for our kids (and stop dreaming of a baby!).

I'm so frustrated with him because after DS3 was born he promised me we'd try for #4. Now he is so happy and content with his 3 boys he wants to change his mind. And he is as stubborn as a mule!

The only way I have been ttc with him is through bribery. He is always up for dtd, and he can't resist garters and high heels LOL. I guess I'm lucky he has a high sex drive, but that's probably why we have boys. Every month he warns me that he's going to make an appointment to get the snip. My next move is to promise him he can buy the fishing boat he's always wanted if I get pg.

I'm a firm believer that God provides, and no matter how many kids we have we'll be a happy family with everything we need. But I'm starting to get worried that its not in Gods plan for me to have a 4th because it hasn't happened in 8 months of trying. I know it's my age, and I've been trying to be patient, take some supps for egg health and just pray like crazy.

Anyone have any comebacks for the money argument against having more kids?

My husband said the same about having another, and then another - £, no holidays etc etc .... but I told him I don't want to be sad for the rest of my life, and have the ache that we didn't try a last time, and in time the money situation will get better. I guess his want for a daughter helped me sway his 'on the fence' and yoyo between yes/no. I also said, I can't work til the kids are much older, my youngest is only 16 months, so why not just have the last baby and then move on seeing as there will only be a year or 2 in it!! xx

[Adia]

Aw man! I almost wish Dh was like that lol!!!
We are only preg with our second but I am ADAMANT this is it!!!!! I am an only child and NEVER wanted kids of my own. I love my DS to bits and I am so glad to have our second on the wat but as a single child, my patience... Well lets say I have room for growth lol! I can handle 2 but I think I'd go crazy with more. DH IS INSANELY adamant about 3!!!! This is it for me, I swear he will never give up. We are only 9 weeks preg and he's already planning things for number THREE lol he is almost like the wife in this relationship :) but I already told him he's getting the snip once this baby is born hehehe!!! If I was up for it, DH would want to birth a hockey team of his own.

I have a dear friend who says the same thing about 2 kids. She is an only child and had very clear guidelines about her kids. She did want kids but refused to have an only child and can only handle two. She has two boys and is sad that she will never have a girl but she knows her limits. Growing up an only child is tough when it comes to little kids because you didn't have any siblings to learn from.

Two kids is a big change from one kid so hopefully your Dh will see that and respect your limits!

[Adia]

How does your DH feel about 'just one more baby'? :)

Does he feel he is: too old for this s***/done/unprepared for one more?

My DH told me not to even joke about No4, but he'll come to his senses :bigsmile: He is a good man who dearly loves our daughters so he will love our son as well. He has that 'man type' thoughts, like money, space, bigger car, time etc.

Also, what worries me more, his sex drive is so low, it's been a big problem during TTC process :worry: It is just too much for him to BD every 3-4 days, let alone 2 days. It wasn't like that when we dated and got married... I realize he works a lot and feels exhausted, but I do everything in the house and with the kids. When I say everything, I mean EVERYTHING.

My sex drive is low as well, so it doesn't bother me in non-TTC time lol. He is a year younger then me, 39. I wonder will he have any strength in less then a year when we TTC again.

For this failed sway I was giving him l-carnitine, l-arginine, zinc, CoQ-10, vit.E, Omega 3-6 and I probably forgot something. He is overweight, love sweets, rarely eats fruits and veggies, doesn't drink or smoke. No exercise except basketball for 1 hour once a week.

He doesn't cooperate in swaying :mad:

Your sex drive is probably low because you are tired with 3 little girls! I know I'm tired with three and while I am so anxious to add another to our brood, I know I'll be tired as well. I think parenting and being tired go hand in hand.

To answer your question, my DH is all for 1, 2, 3 more babies just like me, but then reality kicks in and we know having #4 will be a huge stretch and strain on us but he was easily convinced as he has always wanted a son. Being as old as I am and having DD1 be 13 already we need to close this chapter soon. This is our last chance. I have done mental gymnastics for months telling myself that even if its another girl, I will let go of gd and move on. Let's hope I really can do that if I have to!!

[Adia]

i dont think he is really happy about the whole idea but he si doing it cos he knows its what i want and thats why i so desperately want to give him the daughter he has always longed for.

We know what they want and we are trying to give it to them so its hard for them to say no, which is a good thing IMO!!! My DH is the same, always wanted a boy, I had DD1 with my exDH so when we had DD2 and DD3 I think he just gave up the dream, but not me!!! Here we go....O date this weekend!!

[Adia]

They are also more likely to say yes when the baby phase has finished and they've forgotten how hard it is (even though i do all the work he still moaned about the sleepless nights :rolleyes:)

If its something that is that important to you (which from reading your posts you seem like me and the answer is yes) keep at it - you won't regret the kids you do have (especially having seen how gorgeous your girls are) but you may regret the one you don't have. Sending you all my blue baby dust, just in case x

My DH keeps complaining about the baby stage again too when I am the one up at night!!

I have to agree with your quote, if/when we have a DC4 we'll just make it work. We did the same thing when we had DD3 and we figure it out as we go.

Your due date is confusing, did you get prego in June 2012? Are you due in June 2013? Will you find out the gender asap? I hope its your girl!!

[Adia]

My husband said the same about having another, and then another - £, no holidays etc etc .... but I told him I don't want to be sad for the rest of my life, and have the ache that we didn't try a last time, and in time the money situation will get better. I guess his want for a daughter helped me sway his 'on the fence' and yoyo between yes/no. I also said, I can't work til the kids are much older, my youngest is only 16 months, so why not just have the last baby and then move on seeing as there will only be a year or 2 in it!! xx

My DH says the same too, but holidays are so short and hard when you kids are little anyways! I think the financial juggling just makes you get more creative, and when we do take expensive holidays when the kids are older, we'll appreciate it that much more!!

I agree, if you have a 4th child soon, DS3 will have a playmate and the baby phase will pass that much quicker!

While I really only wanted 3 kids, I feel the same as you, if I don't try one last time I'll regret it forever.

[Wanting-a-girl]

I honestly dont understand why they have much say...l I do all the baby stuff my baby is 21 months and he's never gotten up at night never made bottles never does ANYTHING around the house and then tries to tell me no about trying again! Before I got preg with Ezra (my youngest of three boys) I got my iud taken out in April in may before my o day I said I'm gonna ovulate any day and we are using no protection he didn't say much just said he doesn't want another but then he would have unprotected sex even tho I was ovulating.... I never tricked him I was very open and he did all he needed to do I got preg first try.... Now he is saying no to #4 and I told him about the sway and I'm preparing for it he says nothing he will have sex when he needs to and then just complain about not waning another.... I told him I am not living my life without the one thing that means the most to me why should I not get the one thing I want.... I am doing my sway first week of jan :)

[Wanting-a-girl]

If I didnt live in Canada I would be getting the pgd done no doubt but there is no way to do that here unfoutunatley

[Adia]

Now he is saying no to #4 and I told him about the sway and I'm preparing for it he says nothing he will have sex when he needs to and then just complain about not waning another.... I told him I am not living my life without the one thing that means the most to me why should I not get the one thing I want.... I am doing my sway first week of jan :)

Well, he hasn't said NO, so go for it! If he was really opposed to it you would know, so take it as YES and go!

[LO123]

Hi Ladies, so good to read all of these posts. I have promised by DH a motor bike if I can have a baby. Sad isn't it but it will be worth it. We can't really afford one anyone so it wouldn't happen for ages so I am just going with it. He has however put restrictions on us and that we will only try to Dec. Two months left. Have been trying for about 6 months but trying for a girl for 4 months now. I am so sad not thinking I will get my girl but I also want another baby so much. I can't understand why trying for a few months next year really makes a difference. He just feels we are too old, I am 38 and he is 42. I just regret not starting earlier. I am also worried all this stuff I am doing swaying for a girl will go against be falling pregnant anyway but want to try for a girl so much.

[Zivic-Bubac]

Anyone have any comebacks for the money argument against having more kids?I was thinking to use this

I'm a firm believer that God provides

[Zivic-Bubac]

Pebmcp, Zivic is a boy swayer, so her supps are different than ours :)

Zivic, have you looked into Maca root for your DH? I am taking it for fertility (because I want a baby of either gender at this point) and it has done wonders for my energy level and ovulation. It is a natural fertility superfood and is supposed to increase sperm count in men.Off to check it out! :) Thanks for the tip! :kissy: Are you both taking Maca root or just DH?

[Wanting-a-girl]

I don't think the many argument is even viable! And # of rooms in a house my mom had four in a 3 bedroom... No matter how little money you have it will work out that's how I see it... I don't even see a baby as a huge expense I have all my baby clothes saved all the baby gear diapers and wipes are 40 bucks a month and if u breastfeed no formula cost

[The Anchor]

My husband would have 5 kids if he had his way. We negotiated 3 (although he says things like "that means 3 pregnancies, right? like if we had twins that only counts as one). He's 3 years younger than me. He doesn't do any of the sway stuff, he doesn't care about gender (easy to say I guess, since we have one of each) :)

[Wanting-a-girl]

I wish mine was more open any time I talk about it he just isn't too happy about it

[LO123]

I wish mine was more open any time I talk about it he just isn't too happy about it

I feel the same...

[myGirl]

Off to check it out! :) Thanks for the tip! :kissy: Are you both taking Maca root or just DH?

I've been taking it for 2 months, but I just started DH on it about 2 weeks ago. He doesn't like the way the capsules smell (me either!) and it's hard to get him to take it! He is so funny because he complains and whines about how upset he'll be if I get pregnant, and then he just goes along with everything anyway.

For those of you whose hubbies won't discuss it, here's what I did: I planned my sway anyway. He knows I take no birth control so it's just a matter of dtd on the right days. I don't bring it up anymore and he rolls his eyes and says " I can't believe I let you seduce me again."

[Adia]

For those of you whose hubbies won't discuss it, here's what I did: I planned my sway anyway. He knows I take no birth control so it's just a matter of dtd on the right days. I don't bring it up anymore and he rolls his eyes and says " I can't believe I let you seduce me again."

Silent submission means GO FOR IT!! Woohoo for you!

[Wanting-a-girl]

That's the way to do it for some reason men a very scred of any change it's ridiculous

[Wanting-a-girl]

I don't take birth control either so he knows if he doesn't put a condom on there is a risk even on my supposed safe days

[Typical_Jules]

We were only going to have 2, a boy and a girl. We had 2 boys, dh asked for a third, he wanted a daughter. I was happy to oblige. Then ibtalked him into number 4 and 5 lol. Well number 5 isn't with us yet

[4devochki]

Zivic, this is a great topic.

DH was convinced, with difficulty, to try for #3 after we had our 2 girls. We didn't sway, and were doing IVF due to my fertility problems (injuries when I was younger). And we got...twin girls. When I got the test results I cried but then I laughed and that's been the way of things for 5 years now--intense joy mixed with grief. DH says he's capital D DONE--twins, as I'm sure many of you know, are a real arse-kicker. Ours have just now reached the age of doing things for themselves, and fulltime school; they've become good travelers so life is easier.

A couple of years ago DH said he might be willing to consider adoption, which is really my dream way to add a little boykins to our family. But now there are a million excuses, and it seems like if life is not perfectly smooth and stress-free (not a big chance of that with 4 kids) then he's unwilling to actually go through with it. Every year that goes by makes me sadder and sadder that my chances of raising a son are becoming slimmer and slimmer.

DH doesn't really get what makes me so sad, and is frustrated with me that I can't be happy with the riches we do have, our 4 fantastic girls. And he in truth despite his intense work is a really very involved, participatory father. It's not the money with him (though saving for retirement and university is an issue), so much as the time and logistics and increasing the general level of hubub/chaos/rambunctiousness in the house. I see it all as a joyful noise; for him it can be too much.

So there we are. I think I will continue to bring it up in a loving way, and maybe try to point out more the way family life does work well and smoothly more and more (his response will be "let's keep it that way.").

:think:

[4devochki]

We were only going to have 2, a boy and a girl. We had 2 boys, dh asked for a third, he wanted a daughter. I was happy to oblige. Then ibtalked him into number 4 and 5 lol. Well number 5 isn't with us yet


Gosh darn, Jules, you must be some talker! Throw me some lines!

[Zivic-Bubac]

-intense joy mixed with grief.

Yes, yes absolutely this! Although in my case is more intense grief mixed with some joy. Моја проста душа славјанска.

[Princess of Pink]

My DH didn't want anymore after #1 lol. He thought it was all too much work and he doesn't much like the baby stage. Now they bare all here he just adores them and they are the centre of his universe! So I know he will be the same with #6 even though he thinks I'm crazy to go back to nappies and crying babies again. I just have this longing for one last baby!

But really if he was adamant no more then he would insist on protection and he never has!

[WantingPink]

My DH only wanted two kids. Well, before we got married I told him that if I didn't have a boy and a girl then I would want to try for #3. Some how he "forgot" about that. I have been on him for 2 years now. His says there isn't enough money, we need a different car, I want a spare bedroom, blah blah blah. We have a 4 bedroom house, could finish the basement, I am at SAHM, I have a car that seats 8, etc. So then he said he didn't want to go though the baby thing anymore and he wants to travel and go on vacation with the kids (uuummm... thought we didn't have any money?). Well, the baby thing only lasts a couple of years??

This Christmas he kept asking me what I want for Christmas (I always get him something really good) so all I kept saying I wanted was for him to stop fighting with me about having another baby!! I never did say that I wanted anything but that. Well... not sure if he planned this or not but we DTD right around O without using anything and two weeks later I was PG. He gave me my Christmas gift right before xmas:) Now wait until I tell him that three is an odd number and we need 4:)

[Typical_Jules]

Gosh darn, Jules, you must be some talker! Throw me some lines!

I started talking when I was pregnant, you know, get it in to his head! He didn't really respond, after Aaron was born he said yes! :) he loves kids and comes from a big family, so that helped

[Lassie1982]

My DH was always adamant that 2 was his limit, no ifs, no buts. He even started investigating vasectomy's when I fell pregnant.
Me, I always wanted 3 or 4.
After we found out this baby is a boy, and after much begging and tears from me, he agreed to NOT getting a vasectomy just yet.
He too has a rather strong desire for a daughter, not as strong as mine, but as strong as a mans can be I think.
Anyway, he has gone from 'no way, never' to 'maybe, we'll see' in regards to a third.
In my heart of hearts I think he will agree to a third, but I have no hope of a 4th!
I am worried about eventually trying though.
If it was a boy I don't know how I would cope.
I think the gd would consume me, primarily because I know that 3 is it, no more chances, dream lost forever.
I didn't really have any gd this time round at all, but I think that's because the door is still open, but once that door is closed.....I don't know :(

[Lassie1982]

I was thinking to use this

I made that comment off the cuff once to DH.
DH's response was "please explain all the children that die of malnourishment and poverty in third world countries, and please also explain to me why the children in Bidwell/Shalvey** walk around half naked, with no shoes, scouring bins and dumpster for food??"

I had no response, so won't be using that one again.

I try to remind DH of his own childhood, his parents were poor, and he was one of 4, they never went without anything, and DH had a perfectly happy childhood by his own admission, when I use that to try and persuade him, he comes out with the 'I never had a single item of new clothing, even my undies were hand me downs, I never once had a new toy, never.....and I don't want that for my children' I can't imagine that we would ever be that hard up, but oh well.


I really don't have any comebacks to dh's financial concerns, we could afford 3, even 4, but it would mean going without the finer things in life, holidays, our pets, take away once a week, nice clothes, music lessons and tutoring, those sorts of things, the little things that all add up. DH does place an importance on those, and so do I to some extent, but its like I have this primal urge to have a daughter, no sense, logic, or reason can turn off that insane yearing I have.





**Bidwell/Shalvey is a suburb in Sydney which is very impoverished, it's a housing commission suburb, so it's inhabitants are unemployed, and often addicted to drugs, they do all seem to have very many children (5+ per family) who sadly are very much neglected, left to their own devices, and many don't have their basic needs met.

[Little Lunasa]

Hi ladies, hope you dont mind me joining in, this is a great thread!

My dh was against trying for a third, with money and our age being his main reasons (hes 43, Im 42) but I managed to persuade him by arguing that we were fit and healthy and that the money situation was a temporary blip (Ireland is in the grip of a terrible recession at the moment but fx it wont last forever)
Am now planning on swaying pink (ish) in the next few months

[Pink rose]

Hi Little Lunisa - just looking at your profile I'm from Ireland to. We have 2 ds & my gd is unbearable at times I just want it to disappear so as I can feel at peace. Dh said no more after ds1 was born (I had different ideas) ds2 was born 2 years later. I was told by a midwife she thought I was having a girl - stupit enough I believed her ( I felt like I fell from grace when I was handed ds2 ). I loved him but was numb my dream for a daughter was over. Dh has now agreed to go high tech - he would rather we swayed but I couldn't take the gd again. I can't believe I talked him into it he's so level headed,just says I will do what you need to do to get a girl. He dosent realise the process, thinks we go away, get a girl & that's final! We aren't rich I think he just saw the effect gd has with me & wants me to experience a daughter. I can't believe he's agreed to this from a man who only wanted 1child now going high tech for no 3. It did take a lo of work persuading him & he's not happy about the money but he's coming round I just keep saying he needs a daughter to.

[atomic sagebrush]

I thought giving vitamins and omega oils etc, was swaying boy!!! I was going to give DH folic acid and was told to hold off doing it..

Zivic was swaying blue, so that's why she took those vitamins

[1+2+3boys]

Gosh, isn't it silly how some partners/husbands refuse to co-operate with swaying and then don't want another when there is a good chance you wouldn't even be wanting another anyway if he had!
My partner wants another so I am lucky but I only ever wanted three to begin with. He would not cooperate in the slightest with swaying when I asked him. He said it is a load of bullsh*t and that we should just have our 2nd child and he promised he would sway for our number three if it was a boy. I agreed knowing it would be cos he already had 4 sons including our first. What I didn't know was that we would be having TWINS! So two of my goes were used up at once.
Deep down I knew they would be boys and I worried about it every day and I wanted that gender scan to come so much that it physically hurt. I wanted a girl so much that I felt I was carrying girls but I wasn't. So I partly blame him that we have to go have another. I would not if I had a girl already so he may have been the one pestering me because he always said he would like a soccar team! No way, this one will be the last no matter what and this time he will do the hell WHAT I SAY! He has agreed but only to indulge me, not because he thinks it will actually work. But I have to know for myself. I think I will regret not trying and if it's another boy there is no way I would regret it because he will be our baby and I am starting to feel clucky anyway. I also wanted three pregnancies and feel a strong urge to go through that magical journey all again

[desperate4blue]

Hi Little Lunisa - just looking at your profile I'm from Ireland to. We have 2 ds & my gd is unbearable at times I just want it to disappear so as I can feel at peace. Dh said no more after ds1 was born (I had different ideas) ds2 was born 2 years later. I was told by a midwife she thought I was having a girl - stupit enough I believed her ( I felt like I fell from grace when I was handed ds2 ). I loved him but was numb my dream for a daughter was over. Dh has now agreed to go high tech - he would rather we swayed but I
couldn't take the gd again. I can't believe I talked him into it he's so level headed,just says I will do what you need to do to get a girl. He dosent realise the process, thinks we go away, get a girl & that's final! We aren't rich I think he just saw the effect gd has with me & wants me to experience a daughter. I can't believe he's agreed to this from a man who only wanted 1child now going high tech for no 3. It did take a lo of work persuading him & he's not happy about the money but he's coming round I just keep saying he needs a daughter to.


Hi PinkRose

Im in exactly the same boat as u.
I had my 3rd dd last year and my hubby saw me at an all time low!
Bless him he has agreed to go hi tech and im thinking of
Going to genesis cyprus. Never been to cyprus before.
I havr been researching and boy it all seem like hard work especially
Taking the injectiond; needles scare me!
Please advise where u r thinking of going?

[Pink rose]

I'm am deciding between genesis cyprus & **** prague. It is very hard decision to make as **** is only opened & I haven't read many success stories about them yet. Dr Declan Keane works in a clinic in Dublin - he works with **** does all tests bloods etc here & you go to Prague 5 days for the final part of the treatment. My dh likes the idea of having a doctor to discuss everything with if we go to genesis we do the whole thing on our own ( they have a sperm sort which would help us get more girls). Hopefully we try this summer I do need to get a move on & make my decision. I can't help but feel a void & emptiness in my everyday life without a daughter. I understand how you feel I'm just hoping & praying this works I couldn't sway & risk the depression again I'm scared of it. Hightech does scare me I'm terrified of needles but if it works I will be worth it. Sorry for the long post & if there's anything I can help you wih feel free to ask! X

[XXdreaming]

Dh said #4 was our last, long story infection crossed womb, i was feverish because of it, ds4 born feverish lethargic and difficulty breathing X-ray showed pneumonia(10 day in nicu and healthy whole now) but they refused to do my tubal then come back in 6 weeks and then at 3weeks had an emergency gall bladder removal and I didn't want to be cut on anymore haha so I never went back, had an oops ended in m/c, then another oops ended in m/c and then I think dh felt sorry for me because he still said no more but then he would have unprotected sex and we end up pregnant which ended in another m/c and then he was on board because i promised it would be our last and will do some permanent sterilization lol but I am ready I want off this roller coaster and just sadly accept if its another boy I will never have a daughter, but dh won't sway either because he thinks we are all crazy lol this baby stuck and healthy and i am gonna try to be happy that out of 11 pregnancies only these 5 were strong enough to make it and so be it if its 5 boys :/

So in other words the ONLY reason there is a #5 is because they refused my tubal and then I promised dh I would get fixed if he gave me one more

[Little Lunasa]

Hi Little Lunisa - just looking at your profile I'm from Ireland to. We have 2 ds & my gd is unbearable at times I just want it to disappear so as I can feel at peace. Dh said no more after ds1 was born (I had different ideas) ds2 was born 2 years later. I was told by a midwife she thought I was having a girl - stupit enough I believed her ( I felt like I fell from grace when I was handed ds2 ). I loved him but was numb my dream for a daughter was over. Dh has now agreed to go high tech - he would rather we swayed but I couldn't take the gd again. I can't believe I talked him into it he's so level headed,just says I will do what you need to do to get a girl. He dosent realise the process, thinks we go away, get a girl & that's final! We aren't rich I think he just saw the effect gd has with me & wants me to experience a daughter. I can't believe he's agreed to this from a man who only wanted 1child now going high tech for no 3. It did take a lo of work persuading him & he's not happy about the money but he's coming round I just keep saying he needs a daughter to.

Hi Pink Rose!
Sorry only saw your post now, wow you're so lucky to have the opportunity to go high tech, would love to if we could afford it. I totally understand your GD, it's been simmering under the surface with me for a while. Time is against me and need to get on with it now that the biggest obstacle is past (dh). When are you planning on ttc and where are you going high tech if you don't mind me asking? :)


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[Pink rose]

Hi Lunasa, I am planning to go to genesis cyprus or **** in Prague. There is a doctor Dclan Keane who has a clinic in Dublin & a few others throughout ireland - he works with **** in Prague all the pretesting & scans are done here & the last part of the treatment in Prague. We would need to be there 5 days & if we decide on genesis we need to stay in cyprus 8 days. We haven't decided which clinic to use yet but I need to get a move on hope to go this summer. We aren't rich by any means & the money is what is worring dh the most it's a huge gamble! He would like me to sway first but I just clouldn't handle an opposite as much as I love my sons I just long for a daughter & they always ask for a sister which just breaks my heart. It dosen't help that no one other than my husband knows about this other & if it works no one ever will - I know none of my family would understand they would think I'm crazy! X

[Little Lunasa]

Hi PinkRose, But it will be all so worth it when you hold your dd in your arms! ( I know there's no guarantee but let's think positive :) )
No one else knows either about our plans to ttc but that's mainly cos I don't want negative comments about being older mom (I'm 42)
You must be so excited! It's prob hard not being able to talk about it openly, Ireland is not encouraging about gender selection is it. But you will get lots of support here I bet :)


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[Pink rose]

Hi Lunisa to be honest I'm more frightened of the whole high tech process my husband would definitely sway instead (I'm afraid of an opposite) not in a good place now with gd it had gotten worse as my kids have got older. We will just tell family it was an oppsie if it happens - fingers crossed! I think you have made the right decision going for that last child my mummy had her last child at 42 & we were always so happy content she had so much time & patience for us all, in years to come you will always be glad you added a third child to your family. Good luck & I hope we all get our very much longed for daughters soon! X