I'm bawling my eyes out right now. :(

[1pinkwish]

And I hate myself for it!

My 2nd friend in a week has had her gender u/s, and of course, has found out she was having the much wanted girl. I'm happy for both of them, they are both really sweet people. But, with every "girl" I hear about coming, it just feels more and more unlikely that I will actually get one too. :(

And stupid gender u/s updates always make me depressed anyway. I remember all too well the excitement and elation I had with my last baby when I was told "it's a girl", and then the devastation and humiliation that came when I found out it really wasn't. It still hurts to remember the feelings I had walking around those two months feeling like all my dreams had come true, and basically I was just an idiot believing something that wasn't real (even though I had no way of knowing that it wasn't). I just hate the memories. I wish I could feel the way I did during that time again. It was good while it lasted, but the feelings that came after were very, very tough!

I just need a little extra support today to just keep pushing forward, stay focused on what's important, and remember that my hope isn't gone just yet. I just want this to be "it" so bad, and I really wish I didn't care at all.

[Janed]

I'm so sorry. I too remember finding out that a friend was pregnant with twin boys after having a girl first and it felt like a punch in the gut. That is just awful being told the wrong gender. I can't imagine.

Hang in there and maybe some of the other ladies will chime in as we ramp up here!

[Lissa]

Oh, I am so sorry.

It seems silly to care so much about what other people are getting... but when you wish so badly for it to be you it's just ridiculously hard. I hate when friends are having gender ultrasounds too -- I really do want my friends to get what they want, so I hate to hear that they haven't gotten their dream -- but it can't help but make you feel sad that you were not as lucky if they do get what they want. Talk about lose-lose.

<3

[xnicolax]

No matter how well you think you are doing, the gender anouncements always come to kick you in the teeth:(. With 10 years of GD behind me I have been there many times:mad: You want to be happy for people but you just cant. Just remember you have every chance that your having a girl too:). I know what you mean about every girl that comes you are less likely to have one, I was in a birth group when I was having No.4 and everyone was finding out what theywere having and they were all boys, I thought that gave me more chance of a girl, lol. Living proof that it doesnt work like that. Good Luck x

[1pinkwish]

I really do want my friends to get what they want, so I hate to hear that they haven't gotten their dream -- but it can't help but make you feel sad that you were not as lucky if they do get what they want. Talk about lose-lose.

<3

EXACTLY!!! I really am happy for these people, even if my immediate reactions don't show it. LOL

It's just so frustrating that I can be doing so well one moment, and then BOOM something like this throws me right back where I started. :(

[1pinkwish]

No matter how well you think you are doing, the gender anouncements always come to kick you in the teeth. With 10 years of GD behind me I have been there many times You want to be happy for people but you just cant. Just remember you have every chance that your having a girl too. I know what you mean about every girl that comes you are less likely to have one, I was in a birth group when I was having No.4 and everyone was finding out what theywere having and they were all boys, I thought that gave me more chance of a girl, lol. Living proof that it doesnt work like that. Good Luck x

I know exactly what you mean!! LOL On a birth forum I am on now, it seemed like there was never a good answer here. For everyone that posted they were having a girl, it felt like it took away any chance I had of mine being a girl. And then for everyone that posted they were having a boy, I felt like "Oh great, it's a boy month! I'm definitely having a boy!" LOL

You can see I've kind of got my mind made up already. LOL What's weird is I do have moments where I think I have a good chance at having a girl because of various symptoms and such. But, then that one part of my mind reminds me that I'm just not lucky enough for that to happen for me. :(

Bottom line, I really really really wish that I didn't care at all! I HATE feeling like something very special is missing from my life, and not having a way to make it happen for me. I know there is PGD and/or adoption, but those really aren't options in our life. And I really do want to be done now at 4 since 3 was my original limit. I'm already afraid I've over-estimated my abilities!! :)

[puppydogstails]

1pinkwish, this isn't really related to your origional post but.. wanted to say that have followed a few of your posts now and i hope and pray with everything that i've got that you have your little girl in there!!! I really really do! sending you lots of luck and pink thoughts ( have no dust to share i'm afraid) and will be checking and waiting for your news! COME ON :XX:

[Yuzu]

A www, I know exactly how you feel! One of my neighbors recently found out she is having a girl and I don't want to seem like a bitter old lady but grrrrrrrr! I'll keep you in my prayers!

[skrimpy]

I am so sorry sweetie. I know how you feel - it kills me to see all the "it's a boy" announcements, to see the clear "boy" u/s pics... I even wish that I would be one of those lucky ones who had a wrong ultrasound :p

I have a friend due any day with a surprise that she really hopes is a boy - she has two DD's so I hope she gets her little man but at the same time it will be so hard if she has a boy and I have a girl come May... so I understand where you are coming from, just the opposite!

Not much advice for you, just letting you know you're not alone :)

[WantingPink]

I know what you mean about hearing about other peoples ultrasound pics. Ever since I had my DS#2 EVERY SINGLE person I know has had a daughter. I even have joked with a few people when they wonder what the sex of their baby is I tell them "well, you are friends with me so I guarantee that you have having a girl". It isn't that I don't want my friends to have daughters... I just want one too!! Here is to hoping that we both get DD!!

[fivebabies]

Wait, it's April! Did you have your baby 1pinkwish? :)

[fivebabies]

Nevermind...found your other post. Congrats on your baby girl!!!