So when did you tell people??

[KidAtHeart]

I'm not that far along - only about six weeks. We are seeing part of the family for Thanksgiving and will spill the beans then (I'll be about 9 weeks then). Haven't told anyone else - anyone - except DH. But it's hard! I feel like crap all day long with the morning sickness and it's hard to hold all of that in. However, if I could keep HT a secret, even with my Mom visiting, then this shouldn't be so hard, right??

This time however, I'm not really looking forward to hearing all of the comments. After having three boys, I'm sure there will be a lot of them. Not necessarily nasty, but comments nonetheless and if not outright judgmental, I'm sure I'll read between the lines anyway.

And then there is the complication of having said that we had tried and failed to have another baby. It's not untrue - we tried HT and it was not successful. Then I turned 40 over the summer and gave away ALL of my baby stuff. I still have a crib and a high chair, and that's it!! Not a shred of clothing... grr... I'm so mad at myself for doing that. Anyway... we let fate take its course for one month and surprise! Here I am. It's not uncommon for people to give up and then get pregnant, which is how I'm sure it will be interpreted. Sorry... I guess I just had to vent. It's hard when you can't talk to anyone IRL. Tell me your stories - would love to hear them!!

[Cinss]

Well all of my close friends and family knew that we were trying and actually knew that we were trying swaying. It took us 10 months to concieve naturally (strange for us because the others were 1 month wonders) So as soon as i got my BFP i was telling everyone, i couldnt keep it in i was just too happy. We didnt get nasty comments at all because everyone was aware that we wanted a boy, so most of the comments were wishing us luck with that. I just had my 12 week scan so i posted a pic on facebook for the rest of our friends and overseas family to find out and there has been great feedback so far. The status i wrote with the pic said "Say hello to the newest member of our family! This little cutie pie will be joining us around May 13 :)"

I think the trick is to claim it as your decision and be proud of what you have done and express your joy about the situation, if people see you are hesitant about what is going on they may latch onto it and make a comment to make it worse, but if people see that you are in control of the situation and you feel blessed etc, it will rub off on them too.

[cvd]

Hi!
We actually told people pretty early, most of our family and close close friends we told around 6 weeks (but we made sure they knew it was still a secret as there was still alot that could happen), then we actually just made the pregnancy public this week after everything went well at our ultrasound! I have a hard time keeping in secrets and surprises so we just couldn't wait any longer (not too mention people notice I'm gaining weight)!!!! I am actually proud for waiting until 9 weeks LOL I found out when I was 3 weeks 4 days so it has been a long almost 6 weeks!

[aroundtheworld]

We've told most of our friends, but none of our family. The reason is because our friends are genuinely happy for us and our families think we're kind of loco for having "so many" kids. The first two pregnancies were easily excitable, but after that, not so much (for others, I mean). We just moved 3.5 hours north and life has been INSANE, so we're just waiting. How long? I'm not sure. But I just don't want to hear anything "polite" right now. Does that make sense?

[Wanting-a-girl]

if i get preg in jan im not telling anyone till april 1st lmao which i will be 3 months.... it will be funny for april fools i will post a u/s pic on facebook lol

[pebmcpd7]

I don't tell until I am 22 weeks, it is a long pregnancy when people know!! We like to keep it just between the 2 of us. The only pregnancy I told earlier was my 4th, my sister got pregnant and told me in confidence. I told her the next day I was 15 weeks!!! She had only found out!!

[sweetpea]

We're waiting until Thanksgiving to tell our families (although our parents already know, but that's it). I'll be almost 12 weeks then. That's only 3 weeks away, and I can't wait for it to get here! I've been so sick and so tired, it's been hard hiding it. I also recently posted in the Dream Members lounge about how I need to tell my sister soon, but I'm having a hard time with it because she's been TTC for months, but it's not happening for her. They've decided to put TTC on hold for the next year, so it's going to be so hard telling her I'm pregnant, and with twins too. It's weird, I have such mixed feelings this time around. We've always told everyone as soon as we've gotten a BFP, but we wanted to wait this time for several reasons. I'm so nervous to tell my sister (I don't want to hurt her), but yet I'm so anxious and excited to tell the rest of our family on Thanksgiving. OH, and I can't wait to tell our boys! They're going to be such sweet big brothers to the twins, and I can't wait to share my growing bump, kicks, and just the whole pregnancy journey with them! :)

[Wanting-a-girl]

She will def be envious but if you guys are really close maybe it will be easier you could take her with you to apps I don't know if that will make it worse for her tho but I would try to include her if possible.... That's sad I couldn't imagine not being able to get preg... So many peopl take it for granted

[sweetpea]

She will def be envious but if you guys are really close maybe it will be easier you could take her with you to apps I don't know if that will make it worse for her tho but I would try to include her if possible.... That's sad I couldn't imagine not being able to get preg... So many peopl take it for granted
I would love to take her with me (in fact, she came with me and DH to our big u/s with DS1!) but she now lives 8 hours away, so it's not possible this time around. :( They "only" tried for about 5 months this year (which is not a terribly long time), but they now have to put TTC on hold for a year because they are trying to time when she will have the baby - she doesn't get paid time off from work, so she needed to have the baby during the summer, when she will be off work anyway. My heart breaks for her though, she's so disappointed it didn't work out these past few months, and now has to wait. I'm dreading telling her my news. :sad:

[dreamingpink77]

I would love to take her with me (in fact, she came with me and DH to our big u/s with DS1!) but she now lives 8 hours away, so it's not possible this time around. :( They "only" tried for about 5 months this year (which is not a terribly long time), but they now have to put TTC on hold for a year because they are trying to time when she will have the baby - she doesn't get paid time off from work, so she needed to have the baby during the summer, when she will be off work anyway. My heart breaks for her though, she's so disappointed it didn't work out these past few months, and now has to wait. I'm dreading telling her my news. :sad:


That's a hard one Sweetpea, I can imagine your worries about telling her :( I honestly don't know how to best tackle the situation but in the end, you'll def have to tell her. Can you ask your mother for help if you're telling your mother first? If your sister is also gonna be with you for Thanksgiving, that's a different story of course. I think I would ask sister to talk to her in a private room before announcing it to all the family and tell her that as your special sister, you wanted her to know first. And perhaps tell her that you really wish she'll get pg soon so that your babies will be same age. I don't know if it's the best way to go with it but I think that's what I'll do.

[dreamingpink77]

As for me, I told my parents and sisters and dh told his parents and siblings too, but we told them that we're not telling anyone else yet cause it's too early. I hope they don't talk. Also told my son, he's old enough to keep it a secret until I tell him it's ok to tell friends. I also told 2 of my colleagues who are my office mates (I couldn't hide it from them for sure being nauseous and so tired) and I also asked them not to tell anyone yet. I'll probably tell aunties and cousins etc after first trimester is over, so it's about beginning of December. I'm not sure if I'm telling office mates at that time too, I might leave it till I start showing, I don't know yet.

[sweetpea]

That's a hard one Sweetpea, I can imagine your worries about telling her :( I honestly don't know how to best tackle the situation but in the end, you'll def have to tell her. Can you ask your mother for help if you're telling your mother first? If your sister is also gonna be with you for Thanksgiving, that's a different story of course. I think I would ask sister to talk to her in a private room before announcing it to all the family and tell her that as your special sister, you wanted her to know first. And perhaps tell her that you really wish she'll get pg soon so that your babies will be same age. I don't know if it's the best way to go with it but I think that's what I'll do.
Unfortunately, she won't be with us for Thanksgiving. She lives 8 hours away, and her and her DH aren't planning on making the trip up here this year. In fact, she wants US to come down and visit Thanksgiving weekend, but after telling her this news, I'm not sure if she'll want to see me yet. :( Not that she'll be mad at ME, but it might take her awhile to process this, and I'm not sure if she'll want to see me that soon after the news. I don't know. And I would LOVE to tell her that I'm praying she will get pg soon so that our babies will be close in age, but she and her DH have already decided that for financial reasons, they have to put TTC on hold for the next year (she needs to have a summer baby bc she doesn't get paid time off from work, and she'll be off for the summer already). Ugh, this is so hard. I wish I could wave a magic wand and *poof!* she'll be pregnant. If only it was that easy. I just want her to be happy.

I'm sorry...I just realized that I've been a total Debbie Downer on this thread! Didn't mean to bring the whole lightheartedness of this thread down! I *am* very excited to share our news with family on Thanksgiving! ;) Is anyone else planning on spilling the beans on Thanksgiving Day? Or maybe Christmas?

[jennaesue]

I haven't told anyone IRL except DH. I found out I was pregnant last Thursday, and I really have no idea how far along I am yet because I did not have a PPAF and I'm not sure when I ovulated. I just saw my dr. yesterday, and she couldn't tell anything from my uterus, so I had a beta, which came back at 1700. I need to wait until it's above 2000 before I have an ultrasound, so I have to have it done again on Monday. DH doesn't want to tell anyone until we have a better idea how far along I am. It is killing me not to tell my mom. We are super close and talk to each other multiple times a day and see each a few times a week. I actually had to lie to her yesterday because I didn't want her to know I was going to the doctor. I hate lying. :(

[TT_3814]

^^^ I agree with dreaming, I would do the same.

Announcements have all been different for each DS, but after we lost DS4, I saw a side of my family members that I really didn't appreciate. (and that's putting it mildly) So with this little one, I've only told the few supportive family members, the earliest being at about 5 weeks when I had to spill to my mom and sister. I wanted to wait to tell but it was my birthday and I didn't want them wasting money on alcohol I couldn't drink. Pretty sure other members of the family will find out eventually but I won't be the one to tell. I told my support groups right after I found out, all very sweet and praying for a positive outcome. As for my friends, the majority are in different states so we all connect on Facebook but I'm not ready to share the news just yet. I'm hoping to get to 28 weeks at least before I say anything.

DH cut ties with his family and I don't blame him, they're very toxic people.

[Sugaree]

Not telling anyone for several more weeks. If I can I'll wait until Christmas. It was a surprise and I'm still in shock. I know everyone will be happy, I'm just still processing it myself.

I'm enjoying having this secret. With my others I told right away.

[KidAtHeart]

With my other pregnancies, I told right away, also. It's hard to talk to my mom and not tell her - I talk to her several times a week. We moved away from family last year and while I've made some friends, I'm not close enough to anyone to tell just yet. So, while it's not particularly hard to hide the pregnancy, it's tough bc I'm a person who needs to talk things through. And my DH, as supportive as he is, is a guy. And a little freaked by the thought of number four. So, not super chatty :)

My closest friend lives four hours away. I didn't tell her (or anyone else) last weekend when I saw her, and I really want to tell her in person, so it looks like Christmas. And the worst part is, she's been trying to conceive for over four years! Our eldest two are the same ages but she was unable to get pregnant with a third. And here I am pregnant with number four! I am dreading telling her a little bit. I know it will totally catch her off guard. I hope it doesn't put a strain on our friendship. Not quite sure *how* to tell her either.

I'm going to see my sister who lives far away next weekend. I half want to tell her, so I can tell her in person, and I half don't - bc I don't really want to tell her before I tell my Mom and other sister (who out of everyone will be the most thrilled). I can blame being tired on having a 'bug', but when I tell her a few weeks later, I think she might be a little hurt that I didn't say something when I saw her (which is so infrequent).

I guess I'm just babbling. I know I'm going to get a zillion comments 'oh are you trying for a girl?' - not quite sure how to react to all of those just yet. Just hanging in there now until the first dr. appt - which is just before Thanksgiving.

[sugarNspice]

I'm 15 weeks (just!) and am pretty sure that I'm beginning to feel the baby move, and we have only just (as in yesterday) started telling people. After repeated losses, I wanted to be as sure as I could be that this baby would be viable. I had a CVS, and initially thought that we'd start sharing the news after good results from that, but even then, I still felt too vulnerable and too hesitant. But now that I'm feeling movement, it really does seem like there's something alive inside me, and I think I am finally ready to be happy, and so to share the news.

[hotdogz&boyz]

With my first, I told people the second I peed on the stick! Lol. It never crossed my mind that something would happen and I was just so shocked and excited, I blabbed all over the place. It turned out fine.

But with my second, we had a hard time getting and keeping his pregnancy. So after a couple of heartbreaking losses (one where we had told everyone at 9 weeks and had to go back and tell them we lost the baby), we held out on everyone except my parents (well, my mom, who told my dad and and brothers) and a good friend until 16 weeks and we announced the gender at the same time. That was pretty fun.

This time, we have been a little less cautious. I told my parents and brothers at almost 7 weeks. I told a small group of friends about 9 weeks (6 or so people). And I plan to tell my church group on Wednesday at 12 weeks. We will spill to the rest of my family at thanksgiving (14-15 weeks) and my in-laws the following week when we see them in person.

Both of my previous pregnancies, we didn't tell people in person, mostly over the phone or by the easter card we sent out for our 2nd sons announcement. So I wanted to do more in person this time.