If it had been the other way around?

[puppydogstails]

Just out of curiosity..

I sometimes feel like i get a lot of 'Two boys, poor you' kind of comments. One lady actually admitted that all boys would have been her 'worst family make up' ( a woman with a pp ) I don't know if it is just me been sensitive ( are you pink moms ever made to feel the same way?? ) because i would really like a little girl but, I love boys, i think they are brilliant, i'd be happy with 10 boys as long as there was a girl in there to! :happy:

So my question is, if you were mom to the opposite gender to what you have, would you be right back here trying for the other? ( if that makes sense ) because i know i would.

Is it about having a child of each gender for you or did you have a preference for one or the other and would have stopped?

No offence is ment to moms of only boys by this :sad: like i said, it certainly is not my opinion.

[LolaInLove]

Nope, I think most people want to parent both genders....I have gotten some "you need a boy to carry on the family name, blah blah" commentary. It is really the same for moms of boys and girls, IMO. I think every family, every mom, is a different situation coming from their own background and cultural cues, know what I mean? I would be perfectly happy with a third girl, but of course, I'd LIKE to have a boy....you'd be surprised how many people commented on that when I was, for a short time, pregnant the other month (had a chemical). Girl moms have the whole issue of the DH....I think some women's DH really want the boy, maybe they feel like a wuss with producing all girls (which I of course don't agree with, but understand). I think each parent wants one of their gender to "relate" to, even though I wouldn't care, but I don't know, I don't have boys...my DH definitely wants a son, but he won't be broken up about it. Just don't sweat the stupid comments people make....we are blessed to have healthy, wonderful children whatever is between their legs!

[Liv]

I thought about this just the other day. I do believe that I would have wanted a boy after having 2 girls. My BF had a boy a few years before I had my first and I l fell in love with him. I don't know if I would have gone HT to get a boy, but you never know. I absolutely loathe when people make comments like that (nightmare having all boys or girls).

[puppydogstails]

....we are blessed to have healthy, wonderful children whatever is between their legs!

Oh Yes,i completely agree :) And i also would be just as happy with a third boy, although would obviously quite like a little pink one! I'd never really thought about the 'carrying on the name' factor, silly as it sounds. So yeah, guess your going to hear some kind of stupid comment no matter what.

Sorry to hear about your chemical :sad:

[LolaInLove]

Aw, thanks....it's all good, though. Que sera, sera. :wink:

You know what gives me lots of hope, though...and I did just see a post about statistics related to this....but I see TONS of families, and almost all I know with BB or GG gets the other one last! FX that's us. :awe:

[nuthinbutpink]

I would have definitely wanted a daughter but all this began for me because I did want a son first. I got a DD, then another and another. It sent me spiraling and I can't say for sure if I had gotten a boy first that I would have done HT for a DD. I think I became so obsessed that it changed me.

[LolaInLove]

NBP, I do hear you....I got a bit obsessed thinking my 2nd was a boy....mostly because my Ex-H only wanted boys (he hates women, something I would have liked to have known BEFORE we got married). He was always, "I know this one is a boy" and it did mess with me. I wouldn't say I had GD though, because I knew I'd have more and 2 girls was great....if I were still with him, it would be a different story, though. I wouldn't be surprised if he would have MADE me go HT for a boy. He always told everyone that we would keep "trying till we had a boy." Thankfully my current DH doesn't really care, as this will be his first child (the girls are his steps). I do see myself having moments of obsession, though.

[atomic sagebrush]

I would have and I actually feel very fortunate because I wanted a boy with my first quite badly, and had no preference with my second. So I did get to experience pregnancy without GD two times.

I have tons of sympathy for women who have very strong gender preferences with their first and never get to feel that happiness of getting the gender they want or even just to experience pregnancy without worrying about gender.

[nuthinbutpink]

I would have and I actually feel very fortunate because I wanted a boy with my first quite badly, and had no preference with my second. So I did get to experience pregnancy without GD two times.

I have tons of sympathy for women who have very strong gender preferences with their first and never get to feel that happiness of getting the gender they want or even just to experience pregnancy without worrying about gender.

It's interesting to read this. Never really thought about it but it is sad that I was never into it each time. I remember with my first, I was planting flowers out front and my neighbor said 'oh, you chose pink because you are having a girl'. I wanted to dig them all up.

I had to learn to embrace the pink. Notice my name. I picked that name when I registered at IG because at that point with 3 DD, all we had was pink. Nothing.But.Pink Had to learn to embrace my inner pink.

[anxiousandready]

I think that I am going through this mainly for my DH. I love my girls but my biggest thing is that I have to do it all myself, the taking them to the potty, the hair every single morning, the picking out their clothes....he's just not into the girly girl things and quite frankly its tiring. If I had 2 boys I would have been here a while ago. With 2 girls I can stop now or try again for a boy. I don't want any more girls but I love the ones I have.

[Wanting a daughter]

I have to be honest, if I'd had two girls I wouldn't be trying for a third. I would have been disappointed not to get 1 of each but I could have lived with it. It's my relationship with my mum that makes me want a girl so bad.

[Lilian78]

I always wanted both and never had a strong preference for either gender. And since I'm inclined to like to control the situation, I think there's a good chance we would've done HT for a boy. I did have a very strong desire for a mother-daughter relationship, and never really had a chance to develop that type of obsession for a mother-son relationship because I got it first. I don't see any reason why it wouldn't have been there if I had a girl or two first though. Plus, while DH is loving having a girl more than I ever imagined he would, he's one of those men that would have obsessed over having a son. So I'm thinking we very likely would have done HT if the reverse had happened.

[Orchid]

I have tons of sympathy for women who have very strong gender preferences with their first and never get to feel that happiness of getting the gender they want or even just to experience pregnancy without worrying about gender.

Yeah I hate the fact that I had GD with my first and only child. I had my friend come and pick out everything for him. I was on IG all day and night. I did not enjoy my first pregnancy. I feel awful about it now. Sometimes I feel, even if I ever get a HT girl I should get pregnant again naturally just to enjoy a GD free pregnancy.

I would not have gone HT for a boy if we had 2 girls. Sad but true. The desire for a daughter was stronger than a son.

Ofcourse DS is my world now. We are best friends :)

[grasshopper]

I would definitely be doing HT if I already had boys...unless DH decided to lift his limit on the number of kids he is willing to have then I would have to do HT to ensure I became a Mum to both genders. I have always wanted both girls and boys and it is very important to me...however, I would happily just keep going naturally until we acheived it rather than HT.
We get a lot of the "need to carry on the family name" thing...DH is the only boy in his family so the family name really will stop with him if we don't have a boy...that makes me really sad for some reason.
So HT has to work...otherwise I have to somehow convince DH to try again naturally.

[Gus]

I feel fortunate, too, that I had no preference with ds1 or 2. By 3 I was getting antsy for a girl, and the doc thought he was one. So that was a let-down, but it was short lived.

I'm positive that I would've wanted a boy badly had the first 4 been girls. I never had the feeling that I wanted a girl instead of my boys- I wanted one in addition to them.

[dramabird]

I feel like I have weird answers to this question. On the one hand, if someone had told me, before I had children, "Okay, you're going only have two kids and they have to be the same gender ... what do you choose?" that I think I would have picked two boys (which is what I have) instead of two girls. Even now, if I were to learn that a third pregnancy would be twins, my order of preference would be B/G over G/G (so that we would three sons, one daughter total) ... Partially this is because I never had a sister, only a brother 9 years younger than me. So I was already familiar and comfortable with the whole little boy "gig." And I worry about the competitiveness and self-esteem issues that could happen between two girls (if one was prettier or thinner or more popular, etc.). I know boys compete with each other ("I can run faster!" "I can throw farther!") but not necessarily in a way that really tears them down emotionally -- I'm making broad generalizations, of course.

On the other hand, if I'd had two girls, I don't know if I would have felt this strong need to have a third child to try for a boy. Frankly, while I'm willing to "risk" a third boy (whom I believe would be smart and handsome and awesome and extraordinarily loved, so not truly a "risk") to get a daughter, I don't know that I would have been willing to end up with three daughters to get a son. I know that seems odd ... I guess I really, really, really want *one* daughter ... but not multiple daughters. :)

[TulleExplosion]

For me, culturally, a boy is definitely valued. I do feel like I am not producing something that everyone seems to want me to have. Pregnancies dont come easily to me, all my girls will be 5 years apart. If I would have had to choose, I think DH would have chosen sons, I really dont know. I love my girls and if I am destined to be a girly mommy, so be it. But I really really want a son..........

[desperatefordresses]

I am not sure. I always wanted a PP...possibly two boys and then a girl. Once I had two boys, I got worried I would have another one since I know quite a few with 3 of the same sex.

My A type personality kicked in, I suppose.

[daisyfay311]

I have nothing against little boys (hello, I'm swaying for one!) but I really would have done anything to get my little girl. I was so happy when I found out I was having a daughter--it was the best day of my life, seriously. And I want a son now, but I think I want it more for DH to have that experience.

[Belle]

I would definitely still be here wanting a boy. I just want one girl because I don't have one.

[skrimpy]

I wanted a boy first very badly and I got a girl - waited to be surprised by gender at birth and didn't feel any GD at all with her... just desperately hoped that I'd get a boy next.

Anyways, I think if I had only boys that I would probably, maybe, possibly want one girl - but I don't think I'd be worrying about swaying or anything. It would probably just be a fleeting hope.

In all honestly I think I would have been a very happy all boy mom... I do relish some things about raising daughters but there is a lot of fear, too, that I am still not over, with my eldest DD at 9 years and knowing I have a lot of years left to see how well I can do parenting daughters :/

So for me, if it had been all boys, I think I'd have been pretty content. All girls... I'd be going nuts... The GD is already such a struggle.

Editing to add that I know that I am pretty unusual though, as most want both. DH is normal in that regard - he wants more balance than me :)

[Wishing4Emma]

I love my boys, and I probably would have gone HT for a boy because DH is the last boy in his family. So the family name would have died with him. But I need to have a daughter. I never really had a mother-daughter relationship and I want that experience. Plus, I would like for my daughter to have a sister. I also never had that and I would want that for her.

[Glittergirl]

I would love to parent a DD as well, but I wanted boys badly. When preg with DS1 I prayed to have a son. I think if it was opposite for me, 3DDs, I would be desperately swaying and hoping to have a boy. Nothing against having girls, it's just cause I never had a brother (we're 3 girls) so I so badly wanted a boy. Now that I have three boys, I find myself just hoping at the chance to parent a girl.

[Bambina]

I wouldn't mind if I didn't have any boys. My friends with boys tell me they're very loving to their mums and less dramatic, but I just relate to girls better.

[kaseybaby]

Honestly, before having DS I doubt I would have swayed for blue. I thought I would be perfectly content with all girls because I had three older brothers and always wanted sisters like in "Little Women", lol. Then I had DS and God knew what he was doing, because I would have missed out in the greatest joy I have ever known.

Now I don't care if I have 3 boys, I just want one little bundle of pink to raise. I want to experience raising both sexes. I truly don't understand why I have this strong desire, perhaps it is my OCD. But I truly don't know if I will feel complete without ever raising a daughter.

[purplepoet20]

I ran into a few comments during 2nd preg and since... When I was 2 days passed DS2 due date while shopping in the store a lady (one of those wanna be tv housewives type (sorry not being mean I am a hippy redneck)) but she had one girl with her and saw I was pregnant and ask the normal questions and then when I said it's another boy. She said she was "happy she only has one child ans it was a girl" and "if it was a boy she wouldn't have had it" I didn't have time to say anything because her 6 year daughter started to cry. I have had other comments about "O I bet you would have been happier with a girl" "did you think about an abortion" and the worst of all comments, when DS2 was 12 days old "you can't love a second son" and "there are other mothers who have no kids and would love to adopt him"..... I was already in love and yes you can love a second son.

I will never lie and say that I didn't want DS2 to be a girl, but he is my little crazy child and no girl could replace him. If I had had 2 girls I would be here trying to sway for a boy. This will be my last pregnancy because I am the type that hates being pregnant and so I would like twins but 1 more baby would be great... at least 1 girl is a plus!!!

[nicnee1976]

Purple - What horrific comments from those people!! I can't believe some people can be so shallow. I myself have had it said to me '3 boys, oh well never mind!!!' When I was expecting DS3 everyone said 'I bet you want a girl this time'. And yes, if he had been a girl I would not have gone on to TTC a 4th child. But I don't regret him being a boy for a minute. He's a very sweet natured boy (although not right now, teething and 2 years old don't mix!!)
I really wanted by 1st to be a girl and tbh he is the only one I had true gender disappointment with. I actually couldn't bond with him because he was not the girl I expected him to be and because of a traumatic labour.
DS2 I knew all along he would be a boy and was disappointed for about 10 seconds after I delivered him. Now I couldn't imagine him being anything other than he is.
If I had 2 girls I am sure I would have wanted a boy. Would I have gone on to do swaying?? I don't know. I honestly wanted a girl to have the mother daughter relationship that I have with my Mum. So if I had 2 or 3 girls I would have a chance of that, but I am sure I would want to experience parenting the other gender, if not for DH's sake to have a boy.
Funnily enough though, I thought DH would love having a boy to play sport with, but in reality I have to pester him to play out with them. Weird. They are all Mummy's boys totally.

[Flava]

I love girls I always wanted a girl so Im happy with that , we just want 1 boy. DH has no brothers so if he don't get a boy , you know...(I just can't believe we get one ) anyway I would go HT but we don't have that money so can't do it.
And ppl do say stupid comments about all girls...like oh poor dad and all girls?? omg , you need a boy ! and so on:sigh::whip:

[puppydogstails]

Thanks for all your replies ladies. Have loved reading all of these! :happy:

[*ruby*]

I hoped for a girl both times and got 2 boys. If I had 2 girls I think I still would have wanted a third baby but I don't think I would have minded what the sex was.