Chat Thread for those Mummies that have HAD or want to HAVE a HOME BIRTH

[Mum23boys]

I DONT WANT TO BE RUDE BUT CAN I PLEASE ASK IF THAT YOU ARE "AGAINST" HOME BIRTH PLEASE DO NOT POST ON HERE.
This is a thread meant for those of us who intend ( unless nature dictates otherwise ) to have our babies at home not in the Hospital.
It is a very sensitive subject and I know not everyone agrees and so this thread is for me to talk to other like minded mums about my desire for another homebirth not to argue why of if its any better than a hospital.
Look forward to chatting to you all :-)

[Mum23boys]

So I will start us all off.

DS1 was an ECS - I went in to be induced at 10 days overdue ( first baby very nieve - didnt know about the risks just wanted my baby out , WAS BORED OF BEING PREGNANT ETC) Inductions went wrong - I hyperstimulated and had a bad reaction to the drug used to induce me and ended up needing a c section, cut me open and spinal wore off so ended up being a crash c section with me being put to sleep and not seeing or holding my baby for 4 hours after he was born as I was too ill. I then had a heameorage and had to have a blood transfusion, caught a bowel and bladder infection and ended up in hospital fro 10 days - Not a great experience at all and reallY made me look deeper into induction. Now its not something id consider. ( personal choice !)

DS 2 - I wanted a homebirth but after being classed as high risk the hospital were completely against it and my consultant was a bitch !!! I ended up not going to her appointments and just seeing my midwife instead. DH was also against homebirth he refused point blank to let me do it and was so adament and scared that in the end after lots of tears we booked a meeting with the hospital and i said the only way id go in was if i could use the low risk birth area where they had a pool etc and so they agreed and I had ds 2 6 days early at the low risk birth area - normal natural no drug birth - perfect - apart from hubby being sent home after visiting hours an hour after baby was born and as it was night me being kept in on a noisy ward with lots of screaming babies while ellis wanted to sleep through - i went home wrecked !!!!

DS 3 - Again they were against it - Yet this time i was NOT backing down - not for them not even for DH - I told him in no uncertain terms this one was being born at home whether he liked it or not and if it meant me sneaking off to have it in the bathroom i would ( obviously i wouldnt but i just wanted him to think i would !! ) Anyhow i wrote a latter to the hospital basically saying if something went wrong and they hadnt sent a midwife to me to help with my homebirth then id hold them responsible - great draft letter i got off the homebirth.org website. They suddenly were all as nice as pie to me - i mentioned staff shortages not being my problem and that i was aware they had the means to use bank staff etc - made out i knew all the loop holes when in fact i had no clue !!
A midwife came to talk to us about the risks and luckily for me she was the only midwife locally ive met that loved homebirths - she ran us through everything ( that i already knew ) and really put dh mind at ease ( i think he needed to hear all the things id been telling him about how safe it was from a expert- someone in the field as it were ) and she actually bigged it up so much he seemed OK with the idea when she left..
Anyhow homebirth happened ( i was late again but refused induction just went in for daily monitoring ) and it was amazing - drug free and laboured in my birth pool with dh next to me.

To this day DH talks about it to any of his friends that are expecting - he is like a real advocate for homebirth now - always saying how amazing it was - that he wishes he hadnt felt the way he did before so that ds2 could have been born at home too.( I think he just loved that after birth we were all in bed together with a pizza and movie just cuddling - where as with hospital he was sent home alone to look after the other kids himself !! ) ha ha

Obviously IF we are lucky to get pregnant again this year r next our next baby will too hopefully be born at home.

[Jadis]

Thanks for starting this thread, Mum23Boys! I'm so excited to speak to other homebirthing gals. My DS1's arrival was a typical hospital birth. When I got there in active labour, the nurses strongly suggested that I get an epidural. "No need to be a hero" they'd said. They had to do the epidural twice as the first one didn't take properly. The epidural made me comfortable but also slowed my labour down :( My baby's heart rate dipped a bit and they gave me an episiotomy (without discussion or consent) and hauled him out with forceps. They suctioned him and handed him to me but I was still in shock from my nasty birth experience...it took a couple of hours for me to feel like myself again. When I got pregnant again, I knew I wanted a very different experience so I did my research. I used midwives instead of OB/GYN's and opened my mind to a homebirth. At first, my DH was dead set against it but my midwife gave him a good education and he came around. Now, he says it was the perfect decision for us. DS2 was a homebirth in a pool in my bedroom. When all was said and done, I got to snuggle in my own big bed with my own sheets and towels, surrounded by my family. Sure beat the hospital and I never felt unsafe at home, I knew I was in good hands with my midwives and that if they spotted anything dodgy, they'd have transferred me to a hospital in the blink of an eye. If all goes to plan with this pregnancy, I'll be having another homebirth!

[aroundtheworld]

Gonna copy and paste from the former thread:

My first child was born in the hospital and it was very typical; stadol, epidural, coached pushing on my back, etc, etc. Thankfully, my daughter was born healthy.

My second child was born in the hospital after laboring at home with my doula until 8 centimeters. I basically went to the hospital and pushed him out for insurance purposes (no medications, no interventions).

My third and fourth children were born in the comfort of my bedroom, with a midwife in attendance, in three hours or less from first contraction to last. I am a very fast laborer.

I am now pregnant with my 5th child and plan to have another homebirth. Unless forced for one reason or another, I won't go back to the hospital for any future births because I am most comfortable and happy at home.

[Mum23boys]

aroundtheworld I love that your a doula - My dream is to be a midwife but there is no way i could afford to study for as long as is needed so i did think about becoming a doula perhaps when Im done having all my babies (this 4th baby we are ttc will be the last ). I had a doula for my last birth and she was amazing - it was strange cos i felt in control while she was there - i felt like i had to be strong in front of a stranger ( even though really she wasnt) where as with just fqmily id have been a blubbering wreck - she really kept me focused and if i get pregnant again and get my homebirth I will be hiring her again.

PS for those of you that havent thought about a doula - its fantastic - At first i thought it would be strange having a stranger at my birth but i got to know sam through the last 6 months of my pregnancies - she listened to what i wanted and was the one on the day to tell the midwives what i wanted - make sure they followed it etc - for example i remember before baby was born she reminded james to get involved she kept telling the midwives he wanted to tell me the sex, that we wanted to wait to have the cord cut - all the things at the time i wouldnt have remembered to mention and then been gutted about after ( we all know they read our birth plans but never really adhere to them apart from where legally necessary ) Sam kept me going through it all - at one point i was asking for pain relief and id said to her before hand no matter how much i beg dot give into me and sure enough the midwives were quick enough to hand it over but sam pulled the gas and air away and reminded me i didnt need it id hate myself after etc and Im so glad she did.

Anyway sorry to waffle but really guys you should look into it they are amazing people. There are also grants i believe for those that cant afford their services but despertaly want them.

[Jadis]

I had a doula with my last birth, she was wonderful. That said, I don't think we can afford to get a doula this time around :( I'm hoping that my husband and midwives will be all the support I need.

[Mum23boys]

I know training doulas can accept donations up to £150 if thats a help. x

[suregena]

I attempted a birth center birth with my son. He was posterior and I got to 7cm and there was some water (waters hadn't broken still) between his head and the bag, and they needed to break the water so I could dilate more (I stalled for like two hours.) Unfortunately, because there was water between his head and the edge of the bag, they weren't comfortable doing it in the birth center in case his cord slipped down quickly before his head and risking it going around his neck. They had to move me to the labor unit for my waters to be broken in a controlled environment, I guess... with doctors on standby (still had a midwife attending me, NO doctor.) Anyway... I blame my stubborn thick bag of waters and the posterior position for things not going my way!
Still had a vaginal birth with forceps assistance, though.


This time, however, since I have been through labor before, and feel like I know what I'm doing beyond what can be unpredictable, I'm intending on having a home birth.

[Justjessica]

I had a hospital birth for DS1 and had home births for DS2 and DS3. It was the best decision I ever made. Despite having cord issues with both DS2 and DS3 the midwives were amazing and solved the problems with the equipment they had to hand. It was so lovely to be surrounded by my family and introduce the new baby gently when DS1 woke up and then DS1+2 a year later. In hospital DH was sent home as it was night and could only visit between 6.30-8.30pm. It was horrible having to do everything on my own as the staff were lovely but far too busy. It was a far better experience getting to sleep in my own bed in my quiet bedroom with DH on hand to help. I'd never go back to hospital again unless it was a dire emergency.

[OneLastDream]

I had hospital for ds1, home birth for ds2 and hospital for ds3. We wanted home birth for ds3 but agreed if we went over dates we would go to hospital as midwives were nervous as ds2 was 10lb back to back and 2 mins to resuscitation but it was fantastic being at home. I feel more nervous this time so opted out of home birth this time but we are really lucky as a midwife run unit has been opened attached to hospital which is basically like home from home - even has double bed that pulls down if your hubby wants to stay overnight with you! Home births are great though - I loved it x

[Mum23boys]

I think i just got my BFP at 8dpo and I will definately be pushing for my homebirth :-) Unless of course anything dictates otherwise

[Atsaukina1]

hey mum:) thanks for starting this great to chat w/ like minded mamas concerning the birthing process. it is a sensitive topic sometimes especially while Prego.
1st- hossy natural birth(stayed home as long as possible and still was fighting their clock and many many "suggestions")
2nd-4th- homebirth
my mw has been there for 2 of my births so this will be my 3rd w/ same mw:)

[homebirthing princess]

im planning another home water birth :) and im very excited about it!! i loved my hb with ds2 it was an amazing experience and so lovely to get in my own bath afterwards then snuggle down in my own bed with dh and ds2 when everyone left, we woke up at 6am to ds1 running in our room as usual (he slept through the whole thing) and he got in bed with us all truely amazing!! :) xx

[Mum23boys]

I just contacted the Doula I used in 2009 for ds3 homebirth but she is now a midwife and no longer offers her doula service - am gutted as we had a great relationship.

[Atsaukina1]

sorry mum:(
my dh has always been my "doula" lol I lke as few people there as possible so the mw and her asst. are enough:)
I'm worried now because my mw is super big here and opened a free standing birth center and has a school so I am worried whehter she's still doing hb's my way(about 1.5 hours from her). I am not ready to spread the news but I did write one of her asst. on fb that lives by me to see if she was. I don't know what I'll do since she has been at my last 2 births and I just love her.:tissue:

[suregena]

im planning another home water birth :) and im very excited about it!! i loved my hb with ds2 it was an amazing experience and so lovely to get in my own bath afterwards then snuggle down in my own bed with dh and ds2 when everyone left, we woke up at 6am to ds1 running in our room as usual (he slept through the whole thing) and he got in bed with us all truely amazing!! :) xx

I would love any tips/advice for a successful homebirth! You're in the UK, too, so that also would help because obviously you used NHS community midwives, right? I'd love to be able to do it in the water at home. Are you on facebook, by chance?

[Atsaukina1]

my last was a wb too. I didn't labor in it though I like to be up and active but when I relaized babe was coming I hopped in fast lol and 2 contrx. later that is where babe was born:)
def. will have my pool out again:) and excited it's a summer baby oooh soo nice picturing it in in the sun room:)

it's official I wrote my mw- she is not doing hb's my way anymore. now if I just lived 30min to the south aggggg:tissue:

[Mum23boys]

I would love any tips/advice for a successful homebirth! You're in the UK, too, so that also would help because obviously you used NHS community midwives, right? I'd love to be able to do it in the water at home. Are you on facebook, by chance?

Hi hun best thing to do is BE STRONG !!! In the UK most hospitals try and put you off homebirth mainly because it means them sending out 2 midwives to you when they could be using those 2 midwives to attend to 5 other woman in a hospital !! I really had to fight tooth and nail to get my homebirth but aybe in your are it is different. I basically wrote a letter saying i was having it at home no matter what and if they didnt attend and anything happened to me or the baby id be holding them fully responsible - all of suddent they couldnt do enough to accomodate me !!! Staff issues are not my problem at the end of the day. FX Your midwife will think its a fab idea though !!!

As for tips check out Home Birth Reference Site (http://www.homebirth.org.uk) . Brilliant website and the lady on there is amazing and emailed me so many answers to so many questions that i asked - she even sent me the draft letter to use to the hospital when they were being funny about it.

Coping wise I surprised myself !!! With ds1 I had to have an epidural as he was back to back and also because i was in hypertension and stimulative contractions and needed an emcs. DS 2 was natural apart from gas and air and ds 3 was nothing but the water - I find being at home in my own environement being able to do what i want made dealing with the pain so much easier. I also felt more in control - in a hospital u feel like your being told what to do and u just kind of do it as your in their space - at hme its my home and i was in charge and didnt the midwives know it !!! ha ha
I got through with just breathing techniques ( in through the nose out through the mouth ) - which meant when offered the gas and air i couldnt use it as id been breathing inthrough my nose for 8 hours so couldnt get used to sucking the gas in through my mouth !!! very funny indeed.
The water helped immensly too and really took away the pressure i was feeling.
And of course the support from my husbnd and doula who were there to keep reminding me how strong i was and that i could do this - i think the midwives give into you too easily probably because they have to yet when i asked for pain relief my doula stood strong and reminded them i didnt want it and asked them politely to stop offering it to me.

[suregena]

Hi hun best thing to do is BE STRONG !!! In the UK most hospitals try and put you off homebirth mainly because it means them sending out 2 midwives to you when they could be using those 2 midwives to attend to 5 other woman in a hospital !! I really had to fight tooth and nail to get my homebirth but aybe in your are it is different. I basically wrote a letter saying i was having it at home no matter what and if they didnt attend and anything happened to me or the baby id be holding them fully responsible - all of suddent they couldnt do enough to accomodate me !!! Staff issues are not my problem at the end of the day. FX Your midwife will think its a fab idea though !!!

As for tips check out Home Birth Reference Site (http://www.homebirth.org.uk) . Brilliant website and the lady on there is amazing and emailed me so many answers to so many questions that i asked - she even sent me the draft letter to use to the hospital when they were being funny about it.

Coping wise I surprised myself !!! With ds1 I had to have an epidural as he was back to back and also because i was in hypertension and stimulative contractions and needed an emcs. DS 2 was natural apart from gas and air and ds 3 was nothing but the water - I find being at home in my own environement being able to do what i want made dealing with the pain so much easier. I also felt more in control - in a hospital u feel like your being told what to do and u just kind of do it as your in their space - at hme its my home and i was in charge and didnt the midwives know it !!! ha ha
I got through with just breathing techniques ( in through the nose out through the mouth ) - which meant when offered the gas and air i couldnt use it as id been breathing inthrough my nose for 8 hours so couldnt get used to sucking the gas in through my mouth !!! very funny indeed.
The water helped immensly too and really took away the pressure i was feeling.
And of course the support from my husbnd and doula who were there to keep reminding me how strong i was and that i could do this - i think the midwives give into you too easily probably because they have to yet when i asked for pain relief my doula stood strong and reminded them i didnt want it and asked them politely to stop offering it to me.


I shouldn't have a problem, I don't think. I did mention it when they came by because they had to retake my blood samples. The particular midwife I mentioned it to was familiar with me from the pregnancies I lost and also from my son and she said to me, "Oooh, I was just thinking a homebirth would be great for you. I'd get you walking up and down those stairs to get the baby moving out!" Heeh. So, hopefully I can get a lot of support and agreement from the community team. I especially think it would be AMAZING if I could have her, specifically. I absolutely adore her when I do get to see her. She is SO motherly and lovely and warm and the kind of woman you'd want to just crawl into her lap when you are feeling stressed out and she'd make it all better. Hahaha. She just reminds me so much of my own mother!

Well, I'm going to tell them at my next Antenatal appointment next week so fingers crossed they're supportive! :)

My son was back to back last time. I coped without anything until 7cm when I had some gas and air. I don't know if I was having the pain in my back or not - I seriously can't remember. I remember towards 6 - 7cm when I was on the ball, my pelvis was KILLING me and that is where the pain hurt the most. The midwives were reheating heat packs for me and I seriously was straddling the heatpack while bouncing on the ball and on the gas and air. Hah.

[suregena]

Also, thank you for the link! <3

[Atsaukina1]

finally contacted a mw i think i'm going to go with. 3000 +500 for traveling fees since she's 1.5 hours away and i don't want to drive out there everytime for prenatals. haven't set up an appt yet but soon.

[Atsaukina1]

aroundtheworld- def. keep us posted on your twin homebirth :) Now I'm going to have to tell my mw to do some extra feeling around and extra listening lol. what did your mw say when you told her it was twins?? lol. I wonder around what week would they be big enough for them to feel 2? I'm going to ask my mw all these funs questions. gender surprises are nice but that lil surprise might be too much :) were you using doppler for hb or waiting to use fetoscope?

how is everyone else liking their mw and homebirth journey?
my appt. is now set for next week just a meet and greet but I already know her:)

[aroundtheworld]

aroundtheworld- def. keep us posted on your twin homebirth :) Now I'm going to have to tell my mw to do some extra feeling around and extra listening lol. what did your mw say when you told her it was twins?? lol. I wonder around what week would they be big enough for them to feel 2? I'm going to ask my mw all these funs questions. gender surprises are nice but that lil surprise might be too much :) were you using doppler for hb or waiting to use fetoscope?

We've used a doppler the whole time, however I suppose when one heartbeat was found my MW was satisfied! lol

I called my MW immediately upon leaving the sonogram office. We were still in the parking lot. She was surprised for sure! She did tell me that this would change things for me/my birth somewhat. Because it is technically illegal in my state for licensed midwives to deliver a client's twins at home, we have to skirt our way around the law. There is an unlicensed MW in the area that sometimes works with my regular MW and now I'll be seeing her half the time and my regular MW half the time for prenatals. For the birth, it won't be at MY home, but about 20-25 minutes away at my MW's "office" (which is a little house close to the hospital with two separate birthing suites). Both midwives will be in attendance, however my regular, licensed MW will not be able to technically assist in the birth- that job will be for the unlicensed MW. But they will still be able to work together on most things. I'm totally fine with this; as long as I can stay out of the hospital and not be forced to see an OB regularly.

[Atsaukina1]

that's great she is still going to stay by your side I would imagine you would sign the birth info and wouldn't put her name as attendants like reg. hb. Can't stand the limits they put on some states. There is also a southern state that makes you have ob visit before you can see a mw. My state my mw's do breech and twins(pretty sure it is legal) but they can't carry or give rx's so no pitocin,or oxygen which mw's usually have natural remedies for situations that call for this but i don't know why doc's would want to make it harder on them and the mother. but it wass one of the ways they settled to certified mw's in this state. I am glad I have multiple choices.
My mw appt. was canceled today because of snow and it was just a visit not a birth lol so here's hoping for next week.
Not sure if I will have a listen w/ doppler but if i do I'll tell her to keep looking jic lol

[Atsaukina1]

dp-

[thehappypixi]

I love reading birth stories, gets me all excited for my next adventure!
My first was born at hospital, very straight forward with a bit of gas which did very little for me, but I liked biting he mouth piece!
My second was supposed to be at home, I was all set up and ready with the gear, but he came early and having only been moved into our new house a week, it wasn't ready, no curtains and full of decorating and building stuff! So we went to the snazzy new midwife led centre and had a lovely drug free hypnostylee water birth :D I honestly loved it and can't wait to do it again, will defo be a home next time ;D

[aroundtheworld]

that's great she is still going to stay by your side I would imagine you would sign the birth info and wouldn't put her name as attendants like reg. hb. Can't stand the limits they put on some states. There is also a southern state that makes you have ob visit before you can see a mw. My state my mw's do breech and twins(pretty sure it is legal) but they can't carry or give rx's so no pitocin,or oxygen which mw's usually have natural remedies for situations that call for this but i don't know why doc's would want to make it harder on them and the mother. but it wass one of the ways they settled to certified mw's in this state. I am glad I have multiple choices.
My mw appt. was canceled today because of snow and it was just a visit not a birth lol so here's hoping for next week.
Not sure if I will have a listen w/ doppler but if i do I'll tell her to keep looking jic lol

In my state I don't have to see an OB prior to seeing my MW, but I do have to have two risk assessments done by an OB during my pregnancy. It's really not a big deal though- basically just going in for a prenatal with an OB twice in the 40 weeks. Midwives here do carry oxygen and pitocin to births. Which, honestly, is a great thing IMO. You never know when a mom or baby might need either of those things following a birth and it's good to have on hand.

[Atsaukina1]

yes i def. agree w/ you all mw's should be allowed to carry those things, don't know why they would let them be certified here and then put in that stipulation rrrr
there are interesting articles on room air/vs oxygen
also herbs and things they use vs pit
but I have not been in either of those situations and I would hate to have to go to hossy if those 2 things would have prevented it.
i see you are a doula so do you have a doula at your birth:) like i always wonder do mw's go unassisted because they are a mw lol. my dh has always been my "doula" :)

mom23boys- how are you doing w/ hb? do you have appt. in your home? like to hear hb stories from other countries :)

[Atsaukina1]

I just contacted the Doula I used in 2009 for ds3 homebirth but she is now a midwife and no longer offers her doula service - am gutted as we had a great relationship.

can you use her as mw?

[Bigwish]

Hi!

I'm from the Netherlands and around 25% of births take place at home here.
My ds2 is born at home and i will def would like to experience that at least ten times more! It was the most peaceful, easiest, although painful, birth i could imagine.

My ds1 was born in hospital. My water broke at 10 am, contactions starting at 1.30 pm, at 3 pm the midwife came and and at 4.30 am she measured 2 cm dilatation. Contractions were really really painful. At 8 pm she still measured 2 cm and she strongly advised me to go to hospital for pain relief. But it was almost christmas and all the hospitals i preferred were overcrowded. Finally at 0.00 hours we went to hospital where i got remifentanil at 1.30 am (patient controlled analgesia). At 2.45 am i felt i needed to push but i didn't get contractions, the midwife in the hospital told me to push, and push, push. At 4.20 am my ds1 was born with the help of a vaccuum.

Ds2. My water broke at 10 am (same duration in pregnancy also!). At 6 pm contraction started, big time. The midwife came instantly, did not measure my dilatation, went home at 8 pm and would be back at 10.30 pm. At 9 pm i had to throw up and thought i was having only 4 cm then. At 9.10 i felt i needed to push and urged my dh to call the midwife. She was there at 9.30 and told me to push gently if i needed to. She was clearly waiting for help of some, how do you call them, nurses? At 10 pm i shouted i was starting to push but i was afraid i had only 3 cm, hahaha, lol. Midwife told me to go ahead. She hardly needed to say anything, i did exactly know what i was doing and at 10.19 my ds2 was there! He layed with me for two hours skin to skin, drank 4 breasts and after that i showered in my own douche. The nurses came exactly 5 min after ds2 was born, made pictures and changed the sheets.

If you're a low risk pregnant woman and could arrange the necessary care around you i would def recommend a homebirth, except not for the first child though.

I'm thankful that in my country we have a choice (when at low risk). I'm planning to study midwifery in Belgium some day (it's a parttime study plus a lot cheaper than in nl). It's however merely focused on clinical midwifery, but with care changing in the nl (homebirths are the black sheep causing relatively high numbers of perinatal death, although the numbers aren't that conclusive)i don't think that's a disadvantage.... Full time studying for four years in the nl, we can't afford....

[Bigwish]

@aroundtheworld

How exiting that you're planning a twin homebirth! In nl twinbirths are 'high risk' and mw are not allowed to guide these pregnancies and births. Here you'll be under the supervision of an OB.

[Mum23boys]

My midwife gave me the usual speil about staff shortages etc etc but she knows i wont back down so im all registered for my homebirth and will soon start looking for a doula. I cant use the old one who is a midwife as she works for the NHS not privately

[Atsaukina1]

mum23boys- staff shortages? sounds complicated:) the mw i chose only takes max 4 moms a month. my other mw that doesn't serve my area anymore took way more than that and it's just get's to be a lil like an ob office lol.

bigwish- wow 25% great number in the US it is only around 1% and of course our c-sec rates are around 35% and who knows the rates on epi and other interventions-
crazy that you have such a high rate for hb but do not allow twins. what about breech?

and I def. would rec. hb for 1st birth as here many women get stuck in a bad situation in hossy and get a c-sec and then are told they have to have repeat c-sec for next children. I actually tried to have my 1st at home but by the time i tried it was too late to change my ins. and did not have a penny to pay oop for one back then. luckily i labored at home as long as possible and ignored medical staff on things i knew were not necessary. we do not have many nurse midwives(mw's that work in hospitals) and if we do they still have to follow docs orders so not the same as hb mw's here.

[maybeoneday]

I would love a home birth as had ds1 in hospital in 3 hrs 45 mins and ds2 in hospital again in 1 hour 30 minutes. I am scared that this one will be even quicker and the midwife won't get there in time whereas I can be at the hospital in 10 minutes.

In the UK, the Nhs send you 2 midwives who you likely won't have met before and get no choice on. The staff shortages exist because they would rather have you in hospital as they can look after 5 women at once!!

[Bigwish]

Atsaukina1,
Sorry for me being unclear. The reason that i don't recommend hb for first child is that in the netherlands of those who wish to labour at home, 50% will eventually give birth in hospital. So chances younhave to go to the hospital are high with the first one. With the second child this number drops to around 25%...

Twins, breeching, previous c-sections, high bmi, pre-eclampsia are all gathered under 'high risk pregnancies' and automatically referred to an OB. The safety of our child labour care is based on adequate risk selection of primary care midwifes. Almost everyone starts with a primary care midwife. When becomimg high risk you'll be referred to the ob, otherwise you'll give birth at home or in a inpatient clinic with your own primary care midwifes.

But times are changing as there are really emotional discussions about the safety of our system... As a result more and more women are delivering in hospital. C-section raised from around 8% ten years ago to 14%.

Homebirths 30 years ago was 70!!!

Did you know that the canadian system is based on ours? I think medicaliztion isn't the answer to perinatal deaths... It increases the number of c-section and other interventions indeed, i think...

Fear, or actually faith is the key: faith in your body that it is able to give birth to a child. Fear is the greatest risk factor for complications as adrenaline will undermine all the good hormones that come with birthing...

[Bigwish]

I would love a home birth as had ds1 in hospital in 3 hrs 45 mins and ds2 in hospital again in 1 hour 30 minutes. I am scared that this one will be even quicker and the midwife won't get there in time whereas I can be at the hospital in 10 minutes.

In the UK, the Nhs send you 2 midwives who you likely won't have met before and get no choice on. The staff shortages exist because they would rather have you in hospital as they can look after 5 women at once!!

Just remember, really quick births are almost all the once without any complications. Hope the mw will be in time though

[fish2012]

I was never keen on a home birth when preggie with ds1 and ds2 but ds2 came really quick and i then spent 3hrs in hospital just cause they were filling in forms ;-(

my DH isn't that keen on the idea - anyone any tips to convince him?

Also would like a water birth this time as tearing last time quiet bad can you use a big corner bath or would i really need to hire a pool?????

thanks for your thought ladies xx

[Atsaukina1]

sorry your husband is not on board- I never had to convince dh and he knew I was not comfortable at all going back to the hossy. I just could not do it. Maybe watching movie like "business of being born" "pregnant in america"(even though you are not here lol you can see our crazy system)) speak w/ a mw-
as for tearing some women tear but usually it si due to hard pushing that hospitals and all those lovely baby shows do. breathing baby down and being in a better postion will help that. I have never tore but my water birth I didn't feel the "ring of fire" and it just felt a lot easier. Lots of people use their big bath or kiddie pools. Some mw's have their own pools to rent. I bought one and then rented it out to other moms to earn my $$ back and still have for this birth so got my $200 worth:)
good luck:)
if you do go back to hossy can't you pre-register so you don't have to fill out papers when you get there:)

[Mum23boys]

My husband was SOOOOOOOOOOO against a homebirth with ds2 thats why i ended up in hospital - with ds 3 he had no choice ..... i found that by finding a midwife that was really all for homebirth and having her speak to him made such a difference - It would seem that me telling him hoe safe it is - me showing him research on the internet etc he still just didnt seem to believe it - as soon as that info came from a professional person associated with birth it made a whole load of difference and out his mind at ease - he was still not all for it but agreed to it and you know what - You ask him now and its the best thing in the world - he has talked 2 of his friends into having a homebirth and even a man he doesnt know called him up to ask about it as had heard how against it he was and wanted to know why he changed his mind etc and they are now on their 2nd homebirth and he says he doesnt know wy he ever worried - This time when i asked hubby what he thought we should do he said "well thats a no brainer Ill get the pizza menu ready ! " thats a running joke as after birth we snuggled in bed the 3 of us and had pizza and watched a movie - not quite the same in a hospital :-)

[fish2012]

i think ds is convicable, yeah bit p**ed of with midwife second time she hadn't read my notes and I arrived fully dilated ready to push she made me lie on my back so she could examine me and then made be deliver like that dispite me saying to my dh let her let me move please, i think thats why i tore she told me to push him out now but I don't think it was nessary it later turned out the second midwife was a trainee so i think she was nervous

would like to stay at home this time, born princess that's my dream!

[fish2012]

hey ladies had to switch laptop back on to update you!

said to dh so how about sparkle (the bean) being born at home? and he said i'm not a midwife and i said i know you get two thou and he said if that's what you want! in a really nice way yeahy!!!!

hold tight ladies i may have lots more questions!

what did you do with your ds's?

[aroundtheworld]

My kids were there for both of my homebirths. My mom and/or sister came and helped keep them entertained and taken care of during the tough moments, but they all stayed home and if they wanted to watch the birth (my daughter did), they were more than welcome to.

[Mum23boys]

With mine my sons were only 2 and 4 and it was late at night so they stayed for a while then my dad took them to his house to sleep over - too them to school the next day so me ad hubby had the morning to ourselves with the baby they both came home together to meet their brother at 3pm.
This time Id like them to be there they are 3 6 and 8 but DH is worried it will be too upsetting and is probablyright for our 8 year old as he has dyspraxia and gets upset easily by teddies getting hurt on programmes etc so seeing me in pain wouldnt be good for him

[Atsaukina1]

mine have always been there front and center. my last my dd cut the cord since she was 11 and daddy had already did it a couple times:) when my 3rd was born it was after midnight and the kids made it till around 10 and went to sleep but I asked them and they said they really wanted us to wake them so when we got to push time we did:) they were right on the bed and I have the most precious pics of them watching in wonder and smiling:) My last 2 aare closest in age so he was only 2 and I wondered how he would do but he was there holding my hand and as soon as baby was in my arms he said "baby" and was trying to give him his toys:) every child/family is different so it's a personal choice to have them there or not.

[Atsaukina1]

yay had my first appt/ w/ mw today. so nice to hang out and laugh. got to hear the babes hb(150) of course lo was moving around. checked my iron wasn't as bad as I though (11.5) and everything went great. yay for midwives:)

[Mum23boys]

My fight has begun - 8.30AM on a sat morning and the midwife was calling to find out why i had cancelled my obstetrics app next week ..... well the letter says allow 1 hour for a birth choices appointment ..... I want a home birth again end of - last time i had an appointment like that they spent the hour trying to talk me out of it scaring me with scar rupture stories and generally making me feel angry and upset so i would just rather not go in all honestly...staff shortgages are not my issue - obviously if things in pregnancy dictate i need a hospital birth or c section then so be it but until such point im not open to beng talked out of my homebirth..... after that i made an excuse to get off the phone as didnt want to start my weekend arguing with my midwife !!! God the NHS make me so cross sometimes

[Justjessica]

Hang in there mum23boys! I've had experience of giving birth in an Nhs hospital and I wouldn't go back except in an emergency. I'm glad I had 2 home births - you should definitely fight for it if that's what you want!

[Justjessica]

My kids were only 3 and 16 months so my mum came over and sat in the house as it was 3am, they never woke up and pottered up the next morning to meet their new baby brother. It was amazing!

[Atsaukina1]

mum23boys- so sorry. that is crazy they offer it but then try to talk people out of it. what kind of mw is this???
here we have certified nurse midwives that had nurse training first and then went on for extra birth training and they work mostly in hospitals/birth centers. then you have your homebirth midiwives who don't look at birth the same and they do not have rn degree but have been trained through another mw's and homebirths. But a lot of ins. do not cover homebirth so you would pay out of pocket anyway from 1500-6000 depending on where you live and how much your mw wants to charge. It is worth every penny to me. Can you choose a different mw or you have to go with who they provide??

[Inky]

I had 2 hospital births and one birth center birth. I want this birth to be another birth center birth or home birth :)

[Atsaukina1]

our nearest freestanding birth center is about 2 hours away no way i'm driving that far lol. it is really nice and fancy but it's nice not to have to pack up and go after babe is born:)

[Mum23boys]

Here in the UK you get who your given mw wise :-(

[Mum23boys]

The mw that attends your birth might no even be one ive ever met as it depends who is on call !!

[Atsaukina1]

yikes!! can you pay for a private one or do they even have those? sounds like how big ob practices work here.

[fish2012]

Here in the UK you get who your given mw wise :-(

hey doll you can ask to change midwives if you write to the contrller of midwifes at the hospital - however what you're discribing sounds more hospital wide than just one midwife.... so sad to hear this we're west sussex and they are very supportive had wondered if you we're too but i'm guessing not.

my freind hired a doula and had a great 2nd home birth after an bad time with first 'home' birth....i know you still need a midwife thou

my boys will be 2&3 so i think i might get MIL to come and get them at the point i would have left for hospital, they'll only be 5 mins away and i know dh would worry about them being upset and my mum isn't the type i need in my house when i'm trying to give birth ;-S

[Mum23boys]

fish Im in west sussex too and although they are supportive of homebirth in general they are just sooooo short staffed right now that theyare trying to scare as many women out of them as possible especially those that have had previous c sections - Im lucky that my midwife Im seeing at the moment ive seen with all my boys so she knows i wont back down

As i knew i possibly wouldnt know the midwife on call for my homebirth I too had a doula last time and am in the process of trying to find one this time around too as the lady i used last time no longer does it.

Are you near gatwick at all ?

[fish2012]

Hey mum23
I'm near Chichester my parents live near gatwick - Croydon way, diff hospital i guess were Chichester and they seem genuinely to have enough midwives its amazing really were very lucky

It's such a shame there isn't the choice there should be, I have a new midwife this time but that's good last one was rubbish!

[fish2012]

okay weird question! I don't want to have to hire a pool and have all the faffle of filling it, can i have a water birth in my big courner bath?

[Mum23boys]

It wouldnt be deep enough for a water birth I dont think hunny but by al means will be great for pain relief. I would ask your midwife when she comes over to do the home risk assessment.
I bought a poll for my 3rd sons homebirth off ebay lady bought it new then had to go hospital - I only paid like £50 for it and then i just buy new liners and sterilise it in the garden for 24 hours with milton liquid before each birth - So far 3 friends have used it too - some think it sound unhygenic but I dont see how so long as its properly sterilised and everyone uses the proper fitted liners for it.
Perhaps buying one might be cheaper - you can get some great bargains on ebay - or ask around to borrow one ? Your welcome to come and borrow mine after ive used it so long as your not early and Im not late as we are only about 4 weeks apart

[Atsaukina1]

I've seen people birth in their garden tubs but not sure how large that is compared to yours. people also have used kiddies pools lol. I bought one as it was only like $100 less than renting. I have rented it out to a couple other moms and loaned it to a friedn also. I just do like mum23boys and they use a liner and wipe clean :)

[Jadis]

I used a kiddie pool I bought from the local hardware store for $30CDN, my kids have played in it on a hot summers day since then. LOL! I'll just buy a brand new one for this birth, it's not a huge investment for me.

[fish2012]

hey guys thanks for the replies, i watched obem the other night and i think you're right it won't be deep enough, the hospital rents them out for £40 maybe that's a good deal!

thanks mum23 might take you up on that I'm hoping to be 10 days ealry for the school year ;-0 i'm due 09/09!

can you take them upstairs will i fall throu the floorboards?!!

[Atsaukina1]

I know people who have done upstairs and have been fine I don't know maybe if house was really old lol

[Sihaya]

I've been lurking in this thread for a while because I'm not pg yet, but I had both of my boys at home. We had great experiences both times and plan to have all future babies at home.

I had a water birth in an upstairs apartment with no issues. If you would be reluctant to let 5-6 adults stand in that space at the same time, it's probably not a good idea. Otherwise, it's really fine. A birth pool is not as heavy as most people think and since you won't be leaving it unattended while full, it's actually nothing like a waterbed or aquarium (which a lot of people compared it to while I was doing research to see if it was against our lease).

[Atsaukina1]

also if you have a real birth pool or a nicer kiddie pool it has a couple diff. chambers so if one breaks the whole thing won't link just that chamber. so don't have to worry about major flooding :)

[Mum23boys]

I agree if you would have 5-6 people stood in a space in the room u plan to brth in then a pool will be fine :-)
Honestly hun if you need t just shout. Im due 10th august but am usually 10 days late so will be done with it by 24th August.x

[Mum23boys]

I agree if you would have 5-6 people stood in a space in the room u plan to brth in then a pool will be fine :-)
Honestly hun if you need t just shout. Im due 10th august but am usually 10 days late so will be done with it by 24th August.x

[fish2012]

I know people who have done upstairs and have been fine I don't know maybe if house was really old lol

Ha ha 1911 ;-0

[fish2012]

I agree if you would have 5-6 people stood in a space in the room u plan to brth in then a pool will be fine :-)
Honestly hun if you need t just shout. Im due 10th august but am usually 10 days late so will be done with it by 24th August.x

thanks hun hopefully we'll both have summertime girls! i've never been early so timing wise think it'll probably be fine!

i know it's a wierd question but may have MIL at home looking after boys and i don't really want her at the birth iykwim!

[fish2012]

I've been lurking in this thread for a while because I'm not pg yet, but I had both of my boys at home. We had great experiences both times and plan to have all future babies at home.

I had a water birth in an upstairs apartment with no issues. If you would be reluctant to let 5-6 adults stand in that space at the same time, it's probably not a good idea. Otherwise, it's really fine. A birth pool is not as heavy as most people think and since you won't be leaving it unattended while full, it's actually nothing like a waterbed or aquarium (which a lot of people compared it to while I was doing research to see if it was against our lease).

thanks hun sounds like you've done your reaserch x

[Mum23boys]

my last homebirth fish I had 8 relatives plus my doula hubby and 2 midwives but it hardly felt like it as step dad was busy upstairs with the boys and sisters were both maki ng tea etc and your so out of it in your own zone you wouldnt know she was there in all honestly !

[Mum23boys]

Oh and if she does get in the way and you shout obscenities at her its acceptable cos your in labour :-) ha ha

[fish2012]

Oh my dreams of a home birth are over, it's twins ;-)

Mum23 sadly I had a bad experience today the midwife I saw after my scan basically said I have to have a labour ward birth with a epidural maturely I walked out! I'm not feeling so confident now ;-)

[Mum23boys]

Huge congrats - did you take clomid ? Just as a lost one of mine there seem to be loads of twins cropping up, makes me do sad but also so excited for everyone as they are a real blessing. I think your best bet is to contact the head of midwifery at the hospital and come to a compromise. Good luck and congrats again . Xx

[Atsaukina1]

yay!! congrats on twins! yes it does seem to be a lot here natural and clomid users:)

sorry your mw sounds like a beeeeep. sounds just like ob's here our homebirth mw's do not talk like that or feel that way about birth at all but there are some states(every state has diff. laws about mw's here) that do not allow mothers to have twin births at home. Although you can find underground mw's :) Def. would do as mum suggested ad talk to someone else and explain that you would like to go as natural as possible even if in a hossy. Hope ti works out for you. Start upping that protein:)

[fish2012]

Huge congrats - did you take clomid ? Just as a lost one of mine there seem to be loads of twins cropping up, makes me do sad but also so excited for everyone as they are a real blessing. I think your best bet is to contact the head of midwifery at the hospital and come to a compromise. Good luck and congrats again . Xx

called my community midwife and feeling much better she was a cow but i don't have to see her again however i am now under a consultant at the hospital i know safe babies is the main thing but i feel i will be able to have the best chance of delivering them safly where i feel comftable and secure and i don't think that'll be the labour ward ;-0

atsukina - here they can't make you do anything however if you do any thing apart from what they want you to do the guilt is squarley at your door i still could have a home birth thou with twins it would be too risky i feel. i'm hoping to push for the midwife lead centre where i had my ds1&2 its lo vely and three meters from labour ward in case of problems

[Atsaukina1]

that's good that you do hhave the final say and there aren't actual laws against it. nice to have the labor ward and be allowed to go vaginal. Here it is almost an automatic c-section. I have seen pics online of women having vaginal but you would be very hard pressed to find an ob and hospital that would allow it even fullterm and healthy pregos. Same goes for vbacs and breech. Just hard to find an ob to do it. Here ob's do most hossy births. Some hospitals do have nurse midwives but it is rare and they are under docs so not like having a homebirth midwife. glad you don't have to see the other lady again. maybe you can find one that has done twins naturally:)

[Atsaukina1]

thought I would bump this up:)
how is everyone doing?
my iron has been pretty low so trying to bump that up. saw a chiro for back pain and to keep babe all good and lined up so hopefully I can have another easy birth(well as easy as having a baby can be lol)

[Mum23boys]

Hi ladies Im ok - suffering terribly with SPD but just makes me more determined to get my HB again as i really want to be in the water and there is talk that if this baby is big ( measuring 3 weeks ahead ) then they want to induce at 37-38 weeks but as Im allergic to pitocin and its unlikely a sweep would work that early that only leaves sintocinin ? (spelling) and that means a drip, close monitoring and being on a bed which is definately not in my birth plan !!

My doula came to visit me again today - I dont really need one but I just found it helpful last time to have someone around that knew what I wanted and made sure the midwives stuck to it - last time despite birth plan saying delayed cord clamping they went to do right after birth until my doula piped up - things id forget to say at the time !!

[Atsaukina1]

why are they so worried about "big baby". it is a horrible scare tactic they use on women(whether babe really is "big" or not)
you have already birthed 2 children vaginally right? 37 weeks is too early for most babes

[Atsaukina1]

and no mw I know would ever dream of cutting cord early. it is not "dealyed" cord clamping it is OPTIMAL cord clamping. these "mw's" sound like ob's:( glad you have your doula friend and inner strength to deal with them.

[Mum23boys]

Because hun i had problems with my 7lb 15 baby - my other 2 were 6lb2 and 7lb10. Though im not worried as my 7lb10 son was meant to be 9lb6 according to them and he was 10 days late and still only 7lb10 so i take absilutely no notice of what they tell me.

[Atsaukina1]

Sorry I didn't see anything in your birth stories about it- yeah doesn't look like you make big babes :) and I would be very worried taking babe at 37 weeks (based on guestimated weights) when your full term and past babes have been so small. I do make big babes(8.5,10,10.8,9.14) but have never had us(people to guess weight) and am already "proven" to birth them but I always here of people being induced early for "big baby" syndrome:( Didn't you measure bigger with other children as well? Sounds like your educated and know your rights it just pisses me off when docs try ot scare tactic mothers

[Atsaukina1]

mum23boys- how are things going with your planned hb? are they still bugging on size or was that ladi to rest?
33 weeks now and guess I need to get on ordering my birth supply kit but haven't got anything together. besides that i need to get another carseat.

[Atsaukina1]

aroundtheworld- when you are feeling better would love to hear about your homebirth of twins:)

[Mum23boys]

Hi hun Im all set :-) Just hope things stay thi way - Baby was 4.5 pound at scan at 32 weeks so lookig about 8.5 at birth - My babies are 7.14, 6.2, and 7.10 so its pretty big for me if its correct but they told me my 7.10 would be 9.6 so im hoping its actually going to be about 8lb not 8.5. I was secretly hoping for another 6 pounder as love tiny babies but not looking likely !! ha ha

I have my birth kit in the loft from the last birth so I need to just get it all down and blow the pool up check for leaks etc - Hoping to do that next weekend maybe

[Atsaukina1]

wow your ready. i still havent ordered ym birth kit and I loaned my birth pool to a friend due end of june/july . well at least she's doing the check for me lol. it has been rented/loaned a couple times since I used it last. got my moneys worth out of it:) I've never had sonos to measure what my babes were sure would have been fun to see if their guesses were right lol maybe they would've thought my 10lbers were 12+ lol

[Atsaukina1]

37 weeks the time when all homebirth moms can breathe easy knowing that babe can be born at home ahhhhhh:)

[Mum23boys]

Ill be joining you at 37 weeks on saturday and cant wait - Had midwife app today and said on my notes presentation of pp 2/5 ? whether that means that 2 x 5th of head are in and 3 out or whether its that only 2 5th of head can still be felt i dont know but either way baby is engaged so thats good news

[Atsaukina1]

lol no idea never heard that talk. is that from a cervical check? I dont get those- last I heard babe had 2 heads lol as we were trying to figure out how babe is laying and it kept moving all over lol

[1+2+3boys]

I have not read the other posts yet but thought I would briefly chime in

I really really want one next time. I wanted one with my first but DP was nervous so I said we would see how my birth goes and if all went well then home for the next one. First birth was a dream, Water, drug free and peaceful. I was looking forward to planning a homebirth when pregnant again but as soon as we found out it was twins that was a no go. I wanted to do all I could to avoid a caesarian, not only because I never wanted one anyway and I enjoyed giving birth the first time and didn't want to miss out on it, but because it would influence my birth after that as VBACs are not recommended for home. Well I ended up needing a caesarian thanks to A being footling breech but I have done my research and I am still willing to do a homebirth. I think there are more pros than cons and it is safe enough if the pregnancy is straight forward. I just need to find a MW who will support me to do so. Goodluck to those of you having homebirths :)