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View Full Version : Did I sway or was it a fluke?



Dana-Alicia
November 3rd, 2012, 03:45 PM
Hiya mama's,

I have no idea where to post this question, but it has been stuck in my mind for quite a while so was wondering if any of you girls have an answer for me. So here it goes. I got pregnant a few years ago by accident. Or should I rather say: it was a HUGE surprise, totally unexpected (yeah, I know how babies are made :giggle:) I was just out of my period (day 7, without orgasm on my part may I add, as we were in a hurry to get to a bday party, it was normal missionairy position :giggle: you girls need all the info right, maybe it can be of help :D), still had a bit spotting of brownish blood so I really thought I was not fertile at the time (someone didn't pay enough attention in biology :giggle:) anyway, when I was about 7 weeks pregnant I found out I was pregnant. Big shock! I was smoking and so was my hubbie at the time, we were eating unhealthy and easy foods, not taking any prenatal vitamins of course. We used condoms as birth controll, just left it out once and there she was! I of course quit smoking, started taking vitamins and ate my veggies and fruits. Sadly she was born sleeping when I was 4 months pregnant :broken:

After that all I wanted was another baby, I didn't care about the gender. I took a high dosage of folic acid, b12 vitamins and other prenatal vitamins, I did smoke (I started after she died, so stressed out :worry:) but stopped as soon as I had the BFP. My DH was also smoking. I made him take vitamins as well, as I wanted everything to be in perfect condition :nails: We had sex on the day I ovulated, me on top, I made sure I had an orgasm to absorb all the spermies! (sorry for TMI!) I just knew I was pregnant! And I was!!! So so happy and 9 months later we had a gorgeous, healthy boy :babym:

A few years later we TTC a girl using the shettles method (not good appearently, little did I know then) and we used the cutt off method about 3 days before ovulation. I didn't get pregnant :worry: After 6 months I had had it :mad: and I did it the old fashioned way: me on top, orgasm to take all his spermies, one day before I ovulated. Spot on, pregnant again! We were both not smoking at the time, I was taking all the prenatal vitamins again (and advice anyone to ALWAYS take your vitamins especially folic acid!). I kept dreaming of a little girl, but just before I had the ultrasound, I knew it: this is a boy... and it was my last chance, as DH only wanted 2 kids and no more. I was heartbroken. Not because he was a boy, Heck, I had lost a child, how could I be sad over a healthy bub? I was just heartbroken over the fact I was never going to have my little girl.

However, I have finally convinced my husband to try one more time. But to be absolutely sure we get a girl, we will go HT. As I don't trust in my body anymore. Am I able to conceive a girl? Yes, I did it before. But am I able to do it again? Did I sway obviously in my three pregnancies without knowing it? Because I KNOW HT is the best way to go for us, it still leaves me feeling incompetent. I want to be able myself to give my husband a healthy daughter. And by doing HT, I'm taking the opportunity away from me to show myself that I can in fact make another one. Am I making any sense here? However, it will be my absolute LAST chance. Will I have a good shot at swaying?! Or were these pregnancies absolute flukes genderwise? I don't know much about swaying, it all seems to be a bit overwhelming... Thanks if you made it this far, it's quite a list!

Dana-Alicia
November 3rd, 2012, 03:58 PM
Ow I might add I'm a vegetarian for years now, with all three my pregnancies, that should sway girl, right? I'm overweight, a bit less when I got pregnant with my first two. The Chinese calendar was right all three times! My diet has always been the same for all my pregnancies. Lots of sugar and salt...

Sonia2003
November 3rd, 2012, 04:27 PM
Hi!!!

I was 29 when I started my HT journey, and 1 year later and 3 BFN's later I am back to swaying. For some, HT is so easy, and they get pregnant on the first time and for others, its a long journey.

One thing I realize now that I didnt realise then is: Yes, HT guarantees gender 100% but success isn't guaranteed at all.

Good luck with whatever you decide!!

Going HT, I never felt incompetent in that way, but I did feel that sting when I got a BFN.

I would go have a read in the HT forums, and you can learn so much from all the lovely ladies that post, and they are all so helpful!

Dana-Alicia
November 3rd, 2012, 04:35 PM
Hi Sonia, oh no I don't mean going HT is because we are incompetent. But I would prefer it for myself if I could do it on my own, rather than to give it out of hands. You know what I mean? It feels like I didn't accomplish it, someone else did. And it makes no sense at all, as they are my own eggs and DH's sperm, just many more at a time and with a little help from the doctor. And like you say, I have no guarantee to get pregnant at all! I'm so sorry you've come back empty handed after HT. Are you going to try again? Or are you going to sway now? I really hope you get your desired gender.

Cinss
November 3rd, 2012, 07:13 PM
I think you swayed for sure without knowing you were. Swaying "sways" the odds in your favour, at this stage it is not 100% but it is usually the only option some ladies have at their DG. If you can afford HT and are mentally and physically prepared for that path i would say go for it.

Dana-Alicia
November 4th, 2012, 06:28 AM
Thanks for you reply, Cinns! I know swaying ups the odds and is no guarantee, but was just wondering if I had swayed or not. Appearently I did without knowing! HT is an option for us, but not now. We will have to save up for a few years, it's so expensive! And first move to a bigger house as this house is already too small for a family of 4. And if HT fails, then what? I'm affraid we can only afford one attempt. Those things do play on my mind so I keep going back and forth on it. Oh well, I have a few more years to mold this all over and in the meantime I'll keep reading here to learn as much as possible.

Btw the more I read, the more I'm convinced we did sway. For example I never ate breakfast before I got pregnant the first time. I would leave a lot of time between my meals. Since I had been pregnant I was a lot more hungry, lol!

atomic sagebrush
November 4th, 2012, 02:54 PM
I'm so sorry for your loss, Dana. :(

Yes, I would say you did a lot that swayed pink with your first and also swayed blue with your subsequent two. That having been said, I STRONGLY urge you to go HT. If you have the capability and it's absolutely your last opportunity, I think it would be a terrible idea not to give it a try. Swaying will be here if, God forbid, you don't have success at HT. You WILL give your husband a healthy daughter, just that she got here a little differently than most do. :)

atomic sagebrush
November 4th, 2012, 02:57 PM
Thanks for you reply, Cinns! I know swaying ups the odds and is no guarantee, but was just wondering if I had swayed or not. Appearently I did without knowing! HT is an option for us, but not now. We will have to save up for a few years, it's so expensive! And first move to a bigger house as this house is already too small for a family of 4. And if HT fails, then what? I'm affraid we can only afford one attempt. Those things do play on my mind so I keep going back and forth on it. Oh well, I have a few more years to mold this all over and in the meantime I'll keep reading here to learn as much as possible.

Btw the more I read, the more I'm convinced we did sway. For example I never ate breakfast before I got pregnant the first time. I would leave a lot of time between my meals. Since I had been pregnant I was a lot more hungry, lol!

Sorry I didn't read this before I replied...I also STRONGLY urge you not to postpone HT very long at all. Even if you have to put it on credit cards, borrow money from family, and let the baby sleep in a dresser drawer LOL do it as soon as reasonably possible. The older you are, the worse your odds of HT success are. If you really really can't afford it for several years, you can only afford 1 cycle, and going HT will put you in your late 30's or early 40's before you are able to try, in THAT case then I would advise swaying instead because your odds of HT success really start to drop off.

Dana-Alicia
November 6th, 2012, 12:55 PM
Thank you so much for your reply, Atomic! So if I understand correctly, I swayed pink also for my boys? More pink than blue? As I was convinced with them I (without knowing) swayed blue... If I have swayed more pink than blue with them, that would actually be very helpful information and will definitely make me feel better about going HT.

And I've been trying to convince my husband to do HT asap, but he won't budge :( But I am considering doing the IVf/PGD procedure in max. 2 years and do a FET later on. However, that all depends on the number of healthy XX's! Hoping it will not make me more anxious and stressed as I already am about it sometimes.

atomic sagebrush
November 8th, 2012, 07:34 AM
I'm sorry, you swayed pink with your first and also swayed with your subsequent two, meaning you swayed blue for them. Your diet and lifestyle for both your girl and your boys was in line with swaying. Sorry for the confusion!!!

Dana-Alicia
November 8th, 2012, 05:25 PM
I'm sorry, you swayed pink with your first and also swayed with your subsequent two, meaning you swayed blue for them. Your diet and lifestyle for both your girl and your boys was in line with swaying. Sorry for the confusion!!!

I thought so already lol! Thanks for clearing it up :) Ah decisions decisions, to sway or not to sway :think: DH is still all for HT though. So FX that's gonna work for us (have been trying to talk him into doing HT asap to up our chances) and if not, I'll certainly come hang out here much more :) Thanks again!

atomic sagebrush
November 9th, 2012, 11:34 AM
There is also a great HT community on here as well! They can help answer all your questions. High Tech Family Balancing non-Member Forum (http://genderdreaming.com/forum/high-tech-family-balancing-non-member-forum/)