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NYFamilyOfFiveRoses
March 4th, 2011, 04:07 PM
A nice women I know that helped me find my vbac provider had a boy after 2 girls.

She was concentrating though so much on the birth being her baby was breech and she was trying to get the baby to turn or possibly do a breech vaginal delivery. She ended up with a cesarean.

However, all along she did not care about the gender.

She even told me that the cheap side of her wishes a girl so she can use the stuff that she has.

It just feels that the ones like us that DESPERATELY want the DG it hardly works for.

But the people that do not care either was or do not care as deeply as us have the opposite gender as what they already have.

skrimpy
March 5th, 2011, 10:32 PM
I know what you mean. It's hard - I think about how desperately I want a particular gender rather than the opposite... and how many of you ladies desperately want the opposite of what I want. It would be so nice if we just got what we wanted. I sometimes wish I could trade dust off with a mama that wanted pink and take her blue :p Then the people that don't care get these ideal families. My friend really wanted a boy after 2 girls and just had a 3rd girl - they didn't find out. I haven't gotten to talk to her yet but I can't help feeling so sad for her. It's really hard sometimes.

atomic sagebrush
March 13th, 2011, 02:20 PM
A nice women I know that helped me find my vbac provider had a boy after 2 girls.

She was concentrating though so much on the birth being her baby was breech and she was trying to get the baby to turn or possibly do a breech vaginal delivery. She ended up with a cesarean.

However, all along she did not care about the gender.

She even told me that the cheap side of her wishes a girl so she can use the stuff that she has.

It just feels that the ones like us that DESPERATELY want the DG it hardly works for.

But the people that do not care either was or do not care as deeply as us have the opposite gender as what they already have.

I completely agree, it does feel like that. The people who really want it seem to never get their DG. :(

DoulaMama
March 17th, 2011, 12:29 AM
I hear ya! I have many friends who when asked, say that it does not matter to them what they get....and I have this feeling they will get a PPair or 2 of each. It just sucks to be the only one of my friends with 3 kids and all the same gender. 2 pregnancies in a row I've had friends hold on to their girl clothes just in case it was a girl....and twice I was disappointed. And to top things off EVERY single one of my close friends has at least one girl. Another has 2 girls. 2 of my close friends are preggo right now and I just know they are having girls...and they want girls. Sigh. I really hope I get to sew something girlie in my future...

TTC5
March 17th, 2011, 01:12 AM
They probably say they never cared because they got one of each and never really had the chance to experience GD iykwim?
Had they have got two of a kind they may answer different ;)

I don't think it happens because we WANT a certain gender, that we do not get them.

Big hugs!

Aqua
March 24th, 2011, 10:02 AM
I totally agree. I have the same feeling. People who dont care about gender keep popping pigeon pairs the obsessive ones like us with all the praying, swaying and GD have hardly any luck. I am trying to be consciously be non obsessive this time and trying to play it cool hoping to reverse my luck. I know it sounds silly..but what ever takes eh!

One of my friend is ready to have her second girl and she wanted a boy so bad. When us friends asked her at the beginning of her pregnancy she said she felt this one was a boy and was so hoping for one. When everyone asks me now I am planning to keep it cool and say doesn't matter to me.!

TulleExplosion
March 25th, 2011, 02:03 PM
I am having DD#3 in July and the reason it hurts for me is because I desperately wanted this to be a boy. I swayed slightly with regard to timing but it was my first cycle off of BC and I am taking Metformin for PCOS so I think I unknowingly swayed for girl. (I found this site and IG because I wanted to learn more, for next time)

It hurts more because most of my girlfriends who have two DD's all had boys as their third, within this past year! I totally thought I would be there with them, I am not. Its very hard.
I have another friend who just had her fifth son and they were so disappointed he wasnt a girl. It goes both ways, I suppose.

PlanB
March 28th, 2011, 07:47 AM
I pretended I didn't care and told people that. But I did ofcourse. My little dude is a high tech one.

Lilian78
March 28th, 2011, 08:30 AM
While I think some people really don't care, it's also not particularly socially acceptable to say that you do care. Plus, if it works out the way you want it, if you have a balance, etc. that contributes to not caring--what is there to obsess about?

NYFamilyOfFiveRoses
March 29th, 2011, 04:59 PM
Today at the school the 2 moms were there with their baby boys. One Mom has 3 girls then the last is a baby boy. One Mom has 2 girls and the last is a baby boy. I just today told them that the baby was beautiful. Gender did not come up today thank goodness.

Now I try to play dumb and when another mother at the school asked me if I am going to try for that boy I said "I do not know and shrugged my shoulders and acted clueless".

Glittergirl
April 2nd, 2011, 03:12 AM
It's funny because I am totally content with three boys (besides the fact that Dh has always wanted a DD and of course I would be overjoyed having a DD) but I feel like it's others opinions like "you gonna try for that girl?" It's almost like I will disappoint others if I don't have a DD. It's like you have to have a mix...People don't believe you if you say you are happy having all boys or all girls.

xnicolax
April 2nd, 2011, 04:10 AM
I agree it seems those that dont care get both. A friend of mine has just had a girl after 2 boys and she didnt care either. But then you get those smug people too who get what they want every time, they are the worst!

TexasMommy
April 6th, 2011, 10:12 AM
A friend of mine has 2 little girls & #3 was a baby boy..she had him last year after I had my second DD. I also have a different friend that has 2 DD's, & is pregnant with baby #3, she got told at 12 weeks that the baby was a boy, needless to say she was thrilled, then at 16 weeks again was told a baby boy, at 20 weeks told they couldnt see boy parts from above anymore....at 24wks (this past monday) she was told they made a mistake, & she isnt having a DS, she's having DD #3. Shes pretty upset, not so much because its a girl, because shes wanted a boy for so long & she feels like she had one for a short while & had him taken away.

purplepoet20
April 7th, 2011, 07:01 PM
The people that don't believe "you are happy" it is because they had disappointment or they were kids of disappointed parents....

my 1/2 bros grandma wanted a girl but got 3 boys (Bruce, Steve, and Jordan). She talked a lot about wantig a girl and then wanted a granddaughter... she had 3 grandsons and finally a girl, Bruce paid $120,000 over several years. Steve had one sone, my bro, and never wanted kids anyways. And to top it all off Jordan is gay and he said growing up all he ever heard was he should have been a girl.

I pray I can keep my kids from hear stuff like that... no girl could replace my boys.

ThroughWithBlue
April 8th, 2011, 08:24 AM
I completely agree!!! I have come to the conclusion most people get what they didn't really want. And the ones that never cared, truly, get one of each. No idea why. My grandmother wanted all boys, she got 3 girls and was too scared to try for a 4th. Pretty sure my parents wanted a boy and they got me. I've wanted 2 girls, never cared for a boy at all as I'm very girly and I have 2 boys so far. But, you know, not many people will admit a preference as it's considered wrong by society you know, the mom isn't supposed to care. I think everyone deep down has a preference but few admit it. I still have really bad gender dissapointment days a lot and on one of the worst days when I was pregnant with DS2 DH DS1 and I went out to eat and EVERYONE had all girls, then a family got sat next to us that had 4 girls and I just lost it at the dinner table I was so upset. It seems everyone has a girl but ME so I know how you feel.

begonia
April 8th, 2011, 01:32 PM
I pray I can keep my kids from hear stuff like that... no girl could replace my boys.

I couldn't agree more with you on that Purplepoet! My mom mentioned last time she was visiting how "funny" it was that I have only girls since I have always said I wanted boys. She said it IN FRONT of my daughters. I was LIVID. I never, ever, ever want my girls to think they are anything less than perfect in my eyes. She got an earful from me later and knows better than to say anything like that again. Ugh. Makes me mad still thinking about how thoughtless it was.

begonia
April 8th, 2011, 01:34 PM
I will also add that part of the reason I always "wanted boys" is because I have such a ... tough... relationship with my own mother, LOL! Doing my best to realize that is between me and her, and doesn't mean my girls and I will have a tough road ahead of us.

begonia
April 8th, 2011, 01:39 PM
Just thinking about this more and I think when my friends "don't care" and then get their pair, it is harder for me to deal with. A dear friend who DESPERATELY wanted a daughter and already has a son got her girl, and I was thrilled for her. Which surprised me. So I do think it is harder to deal with when people either apparently don't care, OR when they are super smug about how they have one of each. That I truly can't stand.

Carnelian
May 21st, 2011, 05:07 AM
I've had some friends go one way and some the other. One friend recently had BBG and another BBB and on FB all I ever see now mostly is the pic of the new baby girl. I have a couple of those "smug" friends that both have BG pigeon pair and I've definitely pulled back from them. They even go as far as commenting all the time when we're all together how "I'm so lucky we finally got our girl". Makes me feel like crap :-(

CapricornAquarius
June 11th, 2011, 10:24 PM
May be true in some cases but not always, cause we have 2 girls & my husband really doesn't care what our third is, he even tried talking me out of swaying, he believes what we get given is whats meant to be, I wish I felt that way. Im the one who really, really wants a boy.

NYFamilyOfFiveRoses
June 18th, 2011, 06:51 PM
May be true in some cases but not always, cause we have 2 girls & my husband really doesn't care what our third is, he even tried talking me out of swaying, he believes what we get given is whats meant to be, I wish I felt that way. Im the one who really, really wants a boy.

I wish I felt that way also.

jane
June 19th, 2011, 12:13 AM
A friend of mine has 2 little girls & #3 was a baby boy..she had him last year after I had my second DD. I also have a different friend that has 2 DD's, & is pregnant with baby #3, she got told at 12 weeks that the baby was a boy, needless to say she was thrilled, then at 16 weeks again was told a baby boy, at 20 weeks told they couldnt see boy parts from above anymore....at 24wks (this past monday) she was told they made a mistake, & she isnt having a DS, she's having DD #3. Shes pretty upset, not so much because its a girl, because shes wanted a boy for so long & she feels like she had one for a short while & had him taken away.i would hate for that to happen,poor thing:sad: i really hope i get a boy next, ive wanted boys from the start and when i had my 1st i remember seeing a slight look of disapointment from my hubby as he too wanted boys, i think its much harder when you both feel this way.i feel low on myself for not having a son:sad:

Zivic-Bubac
June 19th, 2011, 02:45 PM
She even told me that the cheap side of her wishes a girl so she can use the stuff that she has You know, I quite often caught myself thinking the same thing :worry: How my life would be sort of less complicated if I had a girl again. I do love having girls and thy could use same room and I already have tons of beautiful girly baby stuff.

On the other hand , I wouldn't even try for #3 if I knew for sure it would be :DD: again...Contradicting and complicated and I'm often not sure what I do want and how much I'm determined by my upbringing, social expectations, cultural things etc. :think:

I probably should seek professional help :rofl: