I think it's called- I choose ME over my kids

[nuthinbutpink]

http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/parenting/the-opposite-of-a-tiger-mother-leaving-your-children-behind-2460982/

[xnicolax]

Personally I could never leave my kids either. Sounds like it hasn't affected her kids and I get that this would be acceptable for fathers but I could never do it.

[atomic sagebrush]

I couldn't. I don't think she's a bad person or even a bad mother for doing it, but not a choice I would make.

[skrimpy]

Wow. I mean, you hear about this happening - moms do this (and dads do this). But I couldn't make that choice. I had my first kid at 19 and you know what, I don't feel like I lost out on anything. My brother is still single at almost 27... finished college, "lived the good life," etc... and I don't see that he had anything more than I did. I don't think I lost out on anything by having kids, and I'm not losing out on anything now. I honestly have grown more and "found myself" more through my kids than I ever would have on my own.

I mean, I write a lot for my own personal satisfaction. I run two websites that make money for me and give me a "project" that's a little outside of my family, but I still work from home. I put my kids to bed early so that I can have kid-free time :) But for me, I could never leave my kids... I think they make me a better person.

[Wishing4Emma]

I can't even imagine. I would agree that this is a choice I would not make. Now don't get me wrong, there are times when I think "I would love to run away for awhile" but I could never just give them up.

[Gus]

I couldn't do it. Not in a million years.

[LolaInLove]

When I read that article, I immediately thought about my own story, and how I did the exact opposite.

To make it short, when I left their mentally-abusive father when they were 4 and 2, I had nothing....had been a SAHM (and a well-kept one, too), and every family member or friend lived a thousand miles away. Of course, he had a better lawyer than me, so he made me sign a document saying I would never leave my city limits with them or I could leave without them and visit when I could. There were a lot of things that would have made my life easier with leaving.....I could have stayed with my parents till I got on my feet, could have gotten a MUCH better job in my field in a big city (the one my parents live in would have been ideal), could have been around family and friends for post-divorce support. I didn't have the money to fight it, so it was sign or leave.

I signed. And the day I did, I went and got my daughters' names and birth flowers tattooed on my leg. Every time I look at it, I am reminded of my committment to them, and my committment to making a great life for us despite the sacrifice that made it that much harder. Of course, now I have a new and amazing DH that loves them like they are his own, but it was never an option, no matter how much more difficult the road was.

I respect these women's decisions to leave their children....every has their own situations and perspectives, but my bond with my girls could never allow me to do such a thing.

[lindi]

This is very interesting, at first I had a sort of stab in my stomach when I read it, but then I thought about how wealthy mothers often hire nannies who take over all day long... I was in a playground once and came across two boys who I had seen with a different nanny the day before- this family had 3 nannies that alternated shifts 24 hours a day. So how much mothering time did their mother have with them while they all lived together? This woman seems to create some very focused time on her children without having custody. And I think some women just want to do that day to day mothering more than other women.

[Wanting a daughter]

I know this will sound harsh but personally I think her decisin was a very selfish one. I feel that the privilege of children comes with great responsibility and we as parents owe that to our kids. I understand that there are situations in life that mean things are not always ideal for raising them but if there is any way possible for their parents to be there to guide and support them through their everyday lives then they should be. Parenting is for life not just for as long as you can be bothered with it and I don't believe for one second that she can do it as effectively from a distance. If it was the marriage she didn't want anymore then shared custody arrangements work well for many.
Anyway, just my opinion.

[Orchid]

Am not sure, if the mother was miserable being a mom then may be it is the right decision. I do believe the children should be with happy caregivers but they need structure, stability and warmth of a home which I am not sure whether they will get with the mother being overseas.

[Zivic-Bubac]

I'm in shock...what a sick, selfish thing to do. To whom your kids may rely on if not on mother? And going around braging about it?
She doesn't deserve to be called mother.

[boyjoy]

In this case, i think, it s much better for kids to stay away from this woman than live with her!
My very close friend s mother left him when he was 3 to work in another state. She was coming occasionaly, christmass, thanksgiving birthdays... no divorcing just for a better job and "to give a better life to him" Now he says " I wish i could ve stayed hungry instead of my mom s leaving. He is very successfull in his job, father of 4 and when he remember those days he can t hold his tears.
Her mother is now going to physiciatrist, taking drugs to join real life. She regrets to death for giving up her son s childhood for nothing.

Needless to say, i do not agree with this woman s decision but i don t think this article is enough to judge her. Need to know more.. YKWIM.