Annoying comments

[wildwooddays]

I have two boys and am pregnant with a third child (gender unknown). I am getting so many rude comments lately. I have random strangers that see my pregnant with my two boys and say, "Are you having a girl this time?" right in front of them. And of course I get, "I hope you have a girl!" but some are even worse. My one neighbor just has one child, a girl and constantly makes comments. If my boys act up she'll say, "Oh I hope this ones a girl for you cause she won't do that." Yesterday I told her that my younger son wouldn't wear his jacket and she says, "I hope you have a girl this time because she'll wear it!" I finally had it and told her that I'd be happy with a boy (which is true, even though I'd prefer a girl).
What are some good responses to these?

[Claire33]

I just say "I'm pretty sure it's a boy and I don't care what I'm having anyway". I also say "I LOVE having boys, it's great!" (Which is true) It usually shuts them up. People can be so annoying, they have no idea how hurtful their comments are. I even have a friend who can't have children go on about how this should be a girl. I just think - What if I said to her "Now it's about time you got pregnant", how hurt would she be? Some things are just not up to us, like the gender of our children, or if we even get children at all. Such things should just not be commented on IMO!

[The Anchor]

How awful...people can be so horrible. There's a couple of threads on this, one woman said "well I hope it's a boy, turns out I'm a pretty good boy mom!". I liked that one...

[Myloves]

lol @ The Anchor, would love to have to seen the look on the rude commenters face when they heard that! :D

[mumof6]

i always say there's nothing wrong with having boys, it's how you raise them that makes the difference
a few times when i was pregnant with my 5th boy i snapped at a few people regarding gender
i ended up yelling at a family friend at my brother in law's wedding "it's just a gender, it is what it is and we love it regardless of whether it's a boy or a girl" shut them up quick smart

[4devochki]

Raise an eyebrow and ask, sweetly shocked, "are you suggesting that one sex is better than another?" In otherwords, stuff it, you neanderthal toad.

[black&gold]

I always just say "I don't even care to have a girl, I already have two boys so it's easy keeping it all the same gender" Which is actually fully true. Sure it'd be nice to experience, but whatever! People are always like "Oh...." and it shuts them up. They just assume everyone wants a girl, if you say you don't then they have nothing on you!

A good one is always saying "I'm a girl, I already know what it's like to be one so I don't need to have one" people also shut up with that one!

[momof2blue]

My favorite is people who have one or more of each gender that love to tell you how 'fine' you will be if it's another boy/girl. This summer when I was pregnant with my 3rd boy I walked into a store with my boys and in front of everyone a women took it upon herself to loudly announce 'I know what you're hoping for' what on earth is wrong with people!?!! Seriously?!! What would posses someone to say something like that?

[Plantain]

I'm sorry that I'm not the only once to experience this! People can be so insensitive!!! Like who made this their business anyway? With three girls, it feels like we can't go to the grocery store without comment. Someone always says :shocked: "Three girls? No boys? You have your hands full!" Or "Just wait until they're teenagers, Dad." or "Wow, dad, you're outnumbered. When are you going to get a son?" It really hurts! My husband really wants a son, and has much worse GD than me. I don't mind having just girls, and would be okay with another, but for him it's devastating that he doesn't have a son. And his brother has only sons, and even his family will make off-hand comments about the things we won't be doing because we have the girls. It makes me so mad! I don't consider myself a feminist, but I definitely think girls are people too!

[RKT Mama]

I think people make stupid comments because they have no idea what to say and the gender of your kids is an easy topic to latch onto.
We pick up on it more because it hits a sore spot. You want a specific gender but aren't allowed to say it out loud because that suggests that you are a "bad" mother wanting the other gender more than what you have.
It is similar to people with infertility who feel they are constantly being asked when they will have kids. It's easy to brush off when you aren't trying but really hurts when you are.
I have just gone through an entire pregnancy of how this could/should/would be a girl from everyone from random strangers to friends and family.
Now since she has arrived I get numerous comments from everyone saying I must be so happy that its a girl. I am, but I can't admit that. Instead I must say I am very grateful that she is healthy, etc otherwise I would be disloyal to a son that I never even conceived or my existing sons who of course I love more than life itself.
I tend to look at what the person is trying to say, being the queen of foot in mouth at the best of times. If they are making a comment to be genuinely mean it is very different to just stupid because they don't understand why it would bother you

[BabyGirl4Me]

Goodness, as soon as my DH announced to people we were expecting another baby (which I didn't want him to do until we knew gender) I got lots of "oh maybe this one will be a girl" or "hopefully it's a girl so you two can be done having kids." There's a quote I really like that goes something like "People know exactly how other people should be living their lives, but have no idea how they should live their own." This is so true. No, I don't think people have a clue as to how stupid those comments make them sound, and honestly they probably really don't know how hurtful they are, especially for mom's who are dealing with GD. Hope you are feeling better. :HH: