Anxiety over pre-GD

[busylady4]

Hi everyone,

I am 3 months pregnant with my last child. I don't know the gender yet but with three boys already at home I am setting myself up for this one to be a boy as well. I feel up and down with hope of this being our little girl but then I try to bring myself back down to prepare that it won't be a little girl. I know I sound terrible as many of my friends have had trouble just getting pregnant. I don't know what to do. I know going into my 20 week appointment next month I will be so scared my dream will be over. I know I will love and welcome a little boy but to know that I will never have a little girl is depressing me a bit.

Has anybody felt the pre- GD on their last child? How do you try and prepare yourself even more when so many people give you a little hope?

[mydream]

The best advice I can give you is to hold onto hope! I spent so much time being anxious and in a "bad mood" at times in the beginning of this pregnancy trying to prepare myself for the worst, going over my sway a million times and it was all for nothing because I am finally having a girl!!!! This is also our last child and we already have boys. Sending you tons of pink dust and some extra HOPE!

[wildwooddays]

I have that too. I am 6 months along with baby #3 and I'm preparing myself for the fact that this is probably a boy even though I'd love it to be a girl. The only thing I can say is that the gender is already predetermined and it already is what it is. I bought some gender neutral clothes and I have boy clothes already. I'm not buying any girl things cause that would make gd worse if it were a boy.

[busylady4]

Thanks mydream, I won't give up hope and you're right wildwooddays, it's already predetermined.

[Claire33]

I totally understand, I am in the exact same boat. I have my scan in a month and am so afraid how I will react when I find out that my dream is crushed. This is our last baby and I always wanted a girl. I feel like going team green, but on the other hand I don't want to be disappointed at the birth instead of have time to prepare mentally. I'm so afraid about how I will react to the news of another boy. Of course I will love him with all my heart, and I don't dare to hope for a girl. But deep deep deep down inside I do have the tiniest hope that this is a girl, I just try not to think about it, as my disappointment will be even bigger when I find out it's another boy. I feel so bad about this, as I know many people who struggle to get pregnant, but GD is difficult to have under control.

[Island Meadow]

I'm in the same boat, ladies. I really thought I worked through these emotions before ttc. I did not want to go through my pregnancy obsessed with gender. It's not that I don't want a boy, of course. I love my boys to pieces and wouldn't take back the fact that I have two boys for anything! BUT, I do know that this is our last baby. Therefore, my last chance. If this is a boy.... I will have to finally deal with the fact that I will NOT have a daughter, ever. I'm sure I would feel this same way if I had two girls and was wishing for a son. I thought I had accepted the fact that I would probably have boy #3 before we even ttc and I really thought I had mourned the idea of never having a daughter. Yet, here I am feeling like I never dealt with those emotions at all.

[busylady4]

Ladies, it is nice that I am not alone in these feelings. Obviously it is hard to talk with many people about this and I am so relieved to have found a place to share my feelings. I will send pink dust for all of you.

[hotdogz&boyz]

I think no matter now much you "don't care" going into a pregnancy (or how much you do care)...once that unknown baby is in there cooking, the hormones make our brains go haywire. I didn't think I was too bothered, and I want to still think I am not, but I would be lying. I know I will adore a third son, without a shadow of a doubt. But I would love to experience a girl.

I am 12 weeks tomorrow and we decided not to find out the gender. I would rather spent the next 28 weeks thinking its a boy and still having a hope of it being a girl...then spending them planning out next child because this one wasn't the gender we desired. That sounds crass, but it's true. We are planning on having one more and I know I will become obsessed with when we will try if this one is a boy. At least this way, I probably won't think about when to have another baby, even if he is a boy cause I will be so wrapped up in him and his newbornness. I know I thought a lot about it when I was at the end of my pregnancy with my second, but then it didn't pop up again til he was about 9 months old. I just would rather wait til the baby is older and feel like I enjoyed the end of my pregnancy. Plus, I have a bunch of people who will make stupid comments when I tell them it's a third boy...and I just assume avoid them.

I hate caring so much, but i can't help but hope this is a little girl (and can't help analyzing every little thing that "could" make it a girl).

[wannagirl21]

Hi, I'm new to the site and am in the process of planning my sway for April, and I too am expeirencing these emotions. I guess I'm not scared of the gender what I'm really scared about are my emotions and when I hear the results when it's time. I told my mom I would really love and totally except another boy I guess I just feel like if I get another boy I lose hope of ever having a girl. I am still deciding to even find out or not at 20 weeks or wait until it's born. I think I want to wait until it's born cuz first off I'm scared I'm gonna cry my eyes out in the ultrasouind room if they say boy in front of everyone and really I know I shouldn't even cry cuz I should always's be excited and blessed for what God wants to give me but it is toally easier said then done..... Also cuz I had a girlfriend do the same thing on her third she so thought it was a girl and cryed her eyes out when they said boy. She was in such denial she still thought it was a girl the whole time and still went and bought a girl out fit. I guess I'm scared I will do the same thing if I find out, and be all depressed for the last 4 months . I guess I rather give birth and what ever comes out I will be excited because the baby is here and be exciting cuz even if a boy came out I don't think i would cry because I will be holding him and seeing how beautiful he is and really it would put a girl out of my mind. And If it's a girl I will still cry my eyes out because I will be is totall shock. I just want April to be here already and get pregant and know there's nothing else I can do but just wait.

[Mrs_P]

i'm in the same place to, i have swayed girl but not holding out much hope. To be honest i really don't think we are the sort of people to get a girl and we do make such special girls. My gd is really bad at the moment and to be honest i'm trying to deal with the fact that im sure this baby will be a boy and treat it as if it is a boy so i can deal with my gd early on. I had such a hard pregnancy with ds3, i let myself be convinced he could be a girl and it was a much higher place to fall from and i really don't want to go there again.

Looking forward to another boy is something i'm hoping will become a positive thing by the time he is announced at us, if does turn out my dream of a daughter is realistic then it would be a massive and wonderful surprise!

[busylady4]

So tomorrow is my 13 week ultrasound and I'm freaking out a bit. I want to know so bad but at the same time I dont. My dream could be over tomorrow if they get the right angle and it's a boy. Dont know what to do.

[KidAtHeart]

I'm in the same boat as most of you - have three boys and expecting our fourth (and last, no matter what) child. I found out with the first two. I spent the second half of my second pregnancy depressed about it and resentful of having 'another' boy. But then when he was born, it really went away. With the third, I didn't find out. I did want to experience the surprise, but truthfully, I just wanted to enjoy the pregnancy and hold onto hope. Well, it was a lot harder to recover from that fall. This time, I've decided to find out again. I have to. I want to prepare myself if it's another boy and not let myself fall into that bubble again. I did decide that I will wait until 20 weeks, however. If it's a boy, it's a lot longer to wait if I found out at 13 weeks - I'll give myself that much :)
I'm not sure, however, if I'll announce it to the rest of the world... we'll see how it goes... trying not to obsess too much. Right now we are in the stage where we are just announcing the pregnancy, so I'm enjoying that. A lot of shocked faces! Including ours!! :)