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View Full Version : I know its a bit silly, but other peoples gender prediction are really upsetting me!



Tiggerian
November 18th, 2012, 03:48 AM
I'm not even pregnant yet - but a few people have deduced that we're going to try for another baby and every time someone comments on it, they always say the same: "I think you're going to have another baby boy!!"

While I adore my boys and I would adore another baby boy, it makes me feel upset! It makes me feel like I don't even have a hope in life to conceive a baby girl!.. I know it's silly and they are well meaning, but it gets to me.. it sort of feels like a punch in the stomach!

I always reply "Well.. I just want a healthy baby!" and it's true - I do! But, there's no denying that I strongly favour a girl!

It makes me feel like I've already failed and it makes me thing, what's the point of even trying to sway if I've already failed before I've begun..?!

Do others get this?!

Cinss
November 18th, 2012, 05:00 AM
Definatly, if its not "Oh your probably going to have another boy/girl" its "well hopefully you get a boy/girl next time" im not sure which is worse. But i do think that it is just one of those in built responeses that people say without thinking just like "hope you feel better soon" or "have a nice day". Try not to let it get you down, you have every right to have a desire for something and these peoples comments are not predictions they are just thoughtless comments they say because they feel like they have to say something.

Myloves
November 18th, 2012, 05:09 AM
I think people say these comments without thinking. Most people IRL don't understand that their gender predictions are insensitive unfortunately (at least in my experience). The best thing to do is to brush those people off maybe by saying, 'oh really? Doesn't matter to me either way' - it might make them realise they're being silly.

Personally, I predict you will get a little girl :o Remember, it's a 50/50 thing!

Tiggerian
November 18th, 2012, 05:25 AM
I know its not something they think about and I do get the "Oh, are you only trying because you want a girl!?" - No, I'm genuinely trying again because i'd like another child. But it does feel a bit like a minefield - if you says "Yes, we want a girl" some get offended and fire off the "Think of all the people who cant have kids at all" and if you say "No I'd love another boy" they raise their eyebrows because surely everyone wants one of each and if u dont ur probably demented.

Is this one of those damned if you, damned if you dont things?!

Claire33
November 18th, 2012, 06:41 AM
I actually prefer it if they predict another boy, as it takes the pressure off of me to actually produce a girl. If people start going on about "I hope it's a girl" or "Imagine if this actually is a little girl", I get so hurt and just want them to shut up. It's like they are putting all their eggs in the girl basket, and I just know they'll feel sorry for me if it's another boy. So I'd rather everyone assume it's a boy, so I don't feel any pressure to produce a girl just to please them.

But of course I agree, all comments on gender can be hurtful and people should just not "go there", and leave it alone.

hotdogz&boyz
November 18th, 2012, 10:36 AM
I get irritated about it too. Before, during, and after pregnancy. People don't know what to say. They blurt out whatever is in their head. I had someone tell me last weekend that I "wasn't girl-mom material." In those exact words. Um, what EXACTLY did they mean by that?? Lol. I have people tell me they "know" this baby is a boy/girl. Makes me want to be like "how??"

I don't think they necessarily mean to be mean by it. But they don't understand how it can hurt that they make stupid gender comments. Swaying is far more scientific than a stupid person saying "you will have another boy." They don't have an "in" at the baby pool and get to select the gender of your child. Technically, only PGD scientists can do that. So unless they are offering some free services...just ignore their ridiculous comments. Everyone has a 50-50 chance out of the gate. It's just what the dice is rolled that particular time. Yea, some women roll boy three, four, or five times in a row...even six or seven. But a much larger majority roll a combination of girls and boys for their family make-up. According to stats, only 9% of four-children families have all boys. Even less have all girls. So 91+% has a mixed gender family. The odds are with you!

Tiggerian
November 19th, 2012, 03:20 AM
I know! And I know they don't mean to be mean - it just knock the air out of you! I guess I just wish they'd not do it.. I know some do it out of kindness, to be interested in your pregnancy (when you are pregnant), but it sometimes really grates on my nerves! I don't want to know next time and I'm a bit scared that all the "omg what are u having" is gonna lead to me find out early anyway.. I dunno.. we will see I suppose!

zibibbogirl
November 20th, 2012, 05:11 AM
I know, it is so annoying. I cannot understand why people cannot keep their feelings/thoughts to themselves.

Cinss is right, I don't know which is worse "you will probably have another boy" or "oh I really hope you get a girl next time".

I am dreading these once people know I am pregnant. I have not told anyone yet, partially for fear of the comments. The other day my friend said it was "about time" we had another one. I said that we are trying. She said both of those dumb things, she said "I really hope it is a girl for your sake, gosh can you imagine four boys? You know that is what will happen don't you?"

She had a miscarriage last year. I said to my DH how would she like it if I said "I really hope you carry your baby to term this time, gosh can you imagine if you have another miscarriage, you know that is what will happen don't you?" I never would, because that would be horredously insensitive, but you get what I mean....

mydream
November 20th, 2012, 08:38 PM
Omg... I had that allll the time and even after I found out this is a girl people tell me "oh really because it looks like you are carrying a boy"..... But here is the great thing... It didn't matter what people said to me b/c in the end they were WRONG!!

Tiggerian
November 21st, 2012, 04:07 AM
Thing is, most people wouldn't dream of admitting they preferred one sex over the other and because of that they think others wouldn't dream of it either. Isn't the general opinion you should just suck it up and be grateful? Which I am, wouldn't trade my boys for anything - but I can't help my emotions from taking over once in a while.

I just feel like that when it comes to pregnancy and babies people feel they get a free say-what-you-want card. Anything from gender to name to weight is open issues! God I can't tell you how many times we heard "Omg you can use that" when we were talking names for our sons!

maybeoneday
November 25th, 2012, 01:04 PM
I totally understand and am dreading the comments when people find out I am pregnant. The truth is I am so happy to be pregnant after taking a year to conceive but then you don't really talk about that ether when you have 2 already!!!

I think outwardly I will just tell everyone that it is bound to be boy as we don't make girls!

Try not to get upset. Whatever happens all will be ok in the end and comments do stop either when you tell them the sex or or have the baby.

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