It's one of those days...

[Tiggerian]

Oh I'm sorry for posting such a whiny post as I'm about to, but I just want it off my chest before my boys come home from nursery!

Just having one of those days where I despair over it all. I'm thinking whats the point in even trying to sway when I know I'm going to have another boy? When I think about the next one I can think it 'might' be a girl. I don't even dare to hope... When i think of the 20 week scan all I can imagine is hearing "boy" again. We've been talking about going Team Green, but I'm thinking I have to know, because I don't think I got the right reasons for going Team green.. I think I want to do it because I'm too afraid of hearing boy to be honest.

I went into a shop to get dinner for tonight and I saw this little girl - she looked exactly like a girlie version of my youngest son. She was adorable!! She was running around in a little red coat with a bow on the back, same blonde hair as my DS2, big brown hair and a little hat - hugging a mickey mouse beanie tight. And it just broke my heart... I found myself not being able to take my eyes off her. Her mum most've thought I was gonna kidnap her or something!

I just had to pull myself away or I would have cried.. It's horrible! This feeling of wanting a gender when it goes 'bad'. Its absolutely horrible! Especially because deep down, in my heart, I don't think I will ever have a girl again. My heart and head tells me the next one is going to be a boy - a much loved boy - but not the girl I'm dreaming of. And then I feel guilty for thinking that..

Why couldn't it be easier!? Why can't you programme your eggs to be either receptive to XX or XY!? Why couldn't you just eat green beans and then woopti doo you'd get your GD!? I don't like this gender lottery...

HT isn't an option for us or we'd have gone that way. We've talked about it, but its just not possible. Today is just a sad day.. I can't wait to see my little boys and get a great big hug and a kiss! Sigh... :think:

[jark22]

Sending you big hugs! My niece looks like what I would expect my own DD to look like (my husband's sister's daughter). She is the third child after 2 boys- do I can't help but compare and hope that I get just as lucky.

This gender thing is REALLY hard! It's one of the only things in life you can't really control (unless you go HT or adopt). Growing up you are told that you can have anything you want as long as you work hard enough for it. But that's not necessarily the case in this situation. I have worked hard in my life and I can honestly say I have everything I have ever wanted except for a daughter (and a really hot bod- but that's another story LOL!).

I am different from you in that I can totally picture them telling me 'It's a girl'. I can picture how excited I will be and how happy I will be to announce it to the world. But I'm scared because I've really set myself up for disappointment if it's a boy. I I'm honest- I have really led myself to believe that this is definitely my DD. And that is just not a good thing to do :(. Hang in there- yore definitely not alone.

[3boys]

It's so hard and seems so unfair all the time when other people seem to get their desired gender so easily. I stare at people's daughters when out with a longing in my eyes and i know I must look crazy.
I allow myself every now and again to imagine how amazing it would feel to be told girl (I can make myself cry with joy just thinking about it) but it never feels like it could be real. Seems as unlikely to me as winning the lottery or getting struck by lightening seven times.
I know this probably doesn't help you feel better, but I understand x

[coocoobananas]

This is the most frustrating part! I thought if I tried hard enough, I would succeed, that's what's supposed to happen!! Now I have exactly what I feared going in, what made me hold back so long to go through with it! I wish I could be on the other side and say its worth the chance... But I'm not, I'm on the side of what enevidably can happen- the opposite! It can happen though, and it is true, you'll never know if you don't try, that still applies! I wish I would have listened and truly understood that a boy was totally possible because I really thought I'd be a lucky one... Even though in the back of my mind I didn't too.
I don't know, not much advice here I guess other than you'll either wonder forever or take your chances get your dg or possibly have to let it go, if it doesn't work and 3 is your limit:/

[hotdogz&boyz]

It's totally normal to feel that way. I wish it were easy. Especially since everyone in the world makes it seem easy to get your DG. And it's just NOT! You can't try your way to a girl (or boy if that is your DG). You can't control it at all. Which is probably a huge source of frustration for all of us. I think, in general, we start to feel helpless after we have 2,3,4 of the same gender and desire the opposite. And that plays into the "better chances of getting struck by lightening" mantra. Strangely, going into swaying and getting pregnant...I thought we had a good chance of a girl. And it seemed as soon as I actually got pregnant, I panicked and was like "WHY did I think that...of course I'll only have boys!" And have maintained that this is my third son on the way. Even with some "signs" (symptoms, nub) that this might be a girl, I keep going back to that it is definitely a boy and I need to accept that wholeheartedly. It's a tough spot to be in. I already grieve the daughter I doubt I'll have. Without knowing what this baby is and without being done having children. But it's inevitable to me that we will have a house of blue. Hugs to you. Give those boys some love after school and I know you will feel better.

[Tiggerian]

You know - it helps just knowing that i'm normal and not the only one in the world to feel like this.

I grieve for the daughter I will never have too. I want a daugther, but I don't even dare to imagine i will have it. I can sit and picture the delivery room as they announce "its a girl!" but as soon as that image is in my head I hurry to brush it away and think its better not to, because when time comes I know it will be a boy. And I am happy to have another boy, but darn it I just want ONE girl - is that so much to ask for!?

I'm afraid of the pregnancy as well. Especially the do i/dont i go team green (my OH doesn't mind either way, says its my call). On one hand I'm afraid of being miserable all the way if I'm told boy, but I'm afraid of being miserable all the way if I go team green too because i'll convince myself its a boy. And If I convince myself its a girl and its a boy, how will I cope!? I can't know any of it... And being a typical control-freak boy mum, I suppose that sort of scares the living fluff bunnies out of me!

I don't really want to hope for a girl.. I sort of fell its best not to and just be extra surprised if it is a girl. I wish I had a looking glass though! Just one peep into the future to see if I actually will have a little girl. If not, then, well I don't think I'd ever fully accept it - I think I'd always yearn for a daughter, but at least I'd know. Instead, if the next is a boy I think I'd want to continue, but there's only so many children we can afford and I do think 3 is our limit.

Oh darn this GD business.. but thank heavens for you girls. I wish I had, had all of you when I was TTC DS2!

[LacePrincess]

Gosh, I totally know how all of you feel. Tiggerian, I don't have anything to say that hasn't already been said above. We only started TTC #4 when we knew we really, REALLY wanted another *baby* because I didn't want to risk having any GD. When I started seriously brooding seeing the new neighbour's with their baby (who's their third boy) I knew I was ready.

Whenever I feel a little sad about never getting a girl, I just plan on all the cute baby boy things I will spoil #4 with. And I remind myself how much I HATE Barbie pink!! LOL! And dolls, and dollhouses, it was never my thing. Thankfully no matter which gender our next will be we'll have fun spoiling him/her, because all of our baby stuff is plain worn out after 3 kids so we can have fun buying new for either gender. I also look up vintage sewing patterns for baby boys (because honestly, it would help if there were more CUTE boy clothes, grrrr).

Not that long ago I saw an older man walking a little boy down our street. The little boy was maybe 2 years old, in this absolutely omg precious tweed peacoat and beret. The CUTEST thing I have ever seen. Just seeing that made me want another baby boy!

[Tiggerian]

I know what you mean!

I do not like pink, dolls creep me out and I can't stand barbie! lol.. great girl mum I'm gonna be!! :P And yes it would definitely help if there were more cute boy clothes out there. I find there usually a whole department for girls and one wall for boys, which tick me off! And the girl clothes is ALWAYS cuter, more detailed and just more appealing.. with boys you can get cars, tractors and aliens.. thats about it..!

[LacePrincess]

And plaid, and what's with all the baby-gangsta outfits? Uggggghhhh!!!

I adored the Children's Place infant stuff, they have REALLY cute preppy styles for infant boys like little seersucker suits (awwwww) and jaunty berets, so cute, but their sizes run super small and their boy stuff is boring tshirts and jeans. Siiiiiiigh.

I did end up sewing a lot of infant outfits for my little guy because I couldn't find anything cute in the store. Here are a few pics of the outfits I made for DS3, and I made all the button up shirts too.

http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8481/8226449137_a84f87649e.jpg

http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8067/8226440473_ebb07295d6.jpg

http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8345/8226444255_3c8f3d7075.jpg

[Tiggerian]

omg your boys are adorable!!! And I love the clothes - I really wish I was creative like that, but quite frankly I'd only get hurt! Don't think my OH would let me near anything that resembled a needle out of fear I poke my own eye out lol!

I hate the gangster stuff too and I hate how everything has to have a "funny" slogan on it too ><

[Mrs_P]

You know - it helps just knowing that i'm normal and not the only one in the world to feel like this.

I grieve for the daughter I will never have too. I want a daugther, but I don't even dare to imagine i will have it. I can sit and picture the delivery room as they announce "its a girl!" but as soon as that image is in my head I hurry to brush it away and think its better not to, because when time comes I know it will be a boy. And I am happy to have another boy, but darn it I just want ONE girl - is that so much to ask for!?

I'm afraid of the pregnancy as well. Especially the do i/dont i go team green (my OH doesn't mind either way, says its my call). On one hand I'm afraid of being miserable all the way if I'm told boy, but I'm afraid of being miserable all the way if I go team green too because i'll convince myself its a boy. And If I convince myself its a girl and its a boy, how will I cope!? I can't know any of it... And being a typical control-freak boy mum, I suppose that sort of scares the living fluff bunnies out of me!

I don't really want to hope for a girl.. I sort of fell its best not to and just be extra surprised if it is a girl. I wish I had a looking glass though! Just one peep into the future to see if I actually will have a little girl. If not, then, well I don't think I'd ever fully accept it - I think I'd always yearn for a daughter, but at least I'd know. Instead, if the next is a boy I think I'd want to continue, but there's only so many children we can afford and I do think 3 is our limit.

Oh darn this GD business.. but thank heavens for you girls. I wish I had, had all of you when I was TTC DS2!

I totally get this, its exactly how i feel. I would happily wait with all the patience in the world if i knew my daughter was coming to me. Is not having another boy that scares me, its never having a daughter and having to grow old sad.

[Yoga lover]

Lace princess. Just had to say how gorgeous your boys are!

[mydream]

The best advice I can give you is to not give up on your dream! I know how hard it is and believe me I have been there many times with the same feelings as you, but I am proof that swaying can work. After 3 failed rounds of HT it was swaying that finally gave me "my dream "...Good Luck

[Tiggerian]

I know - there's no reason I shouldn't have a daughter next time. And I know I shouldn't give up, but sometimes despair just takes me. Especially when I see how 'easy' it is for everyone else to get their mixed gender family! I always said I didn't want more than two children, but that was when I assumed I would have a mixed family... then when DS2 came around I was like Ok one more and even tho we haven't had another I'm still like "ok so.. mb two more?" simply because I'm assumin next one will be a boy. But like my OH says; when do you stop? After the 8th? 9th? What if they are all boys? When do you pull the break!? Especially when HT/adoption isn't an option!

[LacePrincess]

Lace princess. Just had to say how gorgeous your boys are!

Aw, thanks. :) It's so hard to find a picture with all 3 without ONE of them looking like a goofball or really crabby, lol. Those are really old pics, gosh.....DS3 is just about 3yo now, hard to believe those pics are 2 years old already! Goodness.

[Tiggerian]

You should see the last two pics I took of the boys together... It was for PJ day at the nursery and the best I could get was with my eldest looking drunk and my youngest looking stoned.. awesome! Just a normal day at home.. lol

[My Three Sons]

I can totally understand how you feel. I think that is why I haven't been all gung ho on the diet like I should, because deep down I feel like it won't work for me anyway. Of course that is more like a self fulfilling prophecy too.... It's just so hard. I love my boys with all my heart, but if this next one is not a girl I know we are done and I will have to give up my dream.

[Tiggerian]

Those self fulfilling prophecies, eh!? I truly am my own worst enemy - I know that logically I have no worst chance than anyone else, but my heart is like "WHY do you even set yourself up for heartbreak!?"

One of my closest friends had a little girl 10 weeks ago - she is the most adorable little thing! She was lying sleeping on my chest the other day and I was like "Dude you gotta take your baby or you won't ever see her again because I'm seriously going to kidnap her in a minute!"... She's just SO cute! She shares a lot of features with my DS2 at that age (funny thing - DS1 is the spitting image of me. You can't see dad AT ALL in him. DS2 is the opposite!) which doesn't help my imagination at all.. walked around sighing the rest of the day! Urgh.. ><

[My Three Sons]

I totally get it. It seems like everywhere I look I see people with girls and wonder what she would look like if we had one. It seems like it is so easy for some to get both genders without even trying or sometimes even caring if it were one or the other. My SIL has a girl and they were going to have one more baby. She wanted a boy and was planning on some sort of sway although I am not sure what. Well, they had an oops before she started to research swaying, so she jumped and did J&D. She's having a boy. Hmph. So now she has her girl and boy without giving it a second thought.