Question for moms with 3 or more kids

[Zivic-Bubac]

How much harder it is with each new child?
I know it was easier with 1, but I can manage 2 just fine.
My main concern is money, of course, but if we leave that behind, how do you manage 3 or more? Home schooling is not an option in my country so I have to drive them to kindergarten/school and since we have only 1 car, I often use public transport which sucks. Either that or walking rather long distance with baby in stroller.
We have our daily routine, how much new baby interfere with that?
I won't be having any help with new baby, nor I have it now, so I'm just worrying in advance, as usual :p

[lightofmylife]

OMG ............ all my questions ;) ...... waiting for replies :D

[nuthinbutpink]

I think it depends on your personality, the ages/temperment of the older 2 and then how good of a baby number 3 is. Your 2 older ones are not babies anymore which should certainly help and when there are times that they have to be told they have to wait for you to do whatever with the baby, they are old enough to understand and reason with which is great.

Number 3 for me was in the car a lot taking, picking up, etc so it is harder to be on a schedule and number 3 has to learn from the beginning to adapt and go with the flow. You think it would get easier as the kids get older but it is just a different kind of hard and crazy. It is hard when you have babies and when they get older, it is hard especially if the older ones start doing sports or other activities after school because then you and baby are on the go again.

For me, number 4 has been so tough. I was very depressed after having him but he was/is a tough baby. So, although my other 3 are at easier ages, he has made life, um, challenging and I have seen some dark times because of that because I am not the type that does well if you do not fall in line!

I guess, the more organized and prepared you are with your day, the better and it will be just that much more with all the baby gear again. I had no help when I had 3 but when I had number 4, I had to hire someone just so I can go pick my kids up from school and not have to wake him from his nap everyday! I don't know why, but it wasn't a big issue with the third.

This too shall pass is my motto these days! I think having 3 is a great number. I come from a larger than normal family, so I am used to a crowd! You can still fit in a normal table if you eat out with 3 because they will put that sling thing at the end of the booth!

[3Pink1Blue]

I found going from 1-2 much harder then 2-3. My oldest started kindergarten 2 weeks before dd#3 was born and if it hadn't been for the GERD it would have been great. I got #1 ready for school while #2 played with the baby. In fact that was the best part was how much the bigger girls LOVED the baby, they wanted to change her, help bath her etc. I think this is the one stereotypical bonus to having girls, they like to play mommy. Even my tomboy turns to mush around babies.

My advice is let the kids help as much as they want, at 5 1/2 my oldest was a first class diaper changer and even though she was only 3 I let dd#2 pick out clothes. I've never dealt with jealousy because I kept them super involved. I don't think there is a job that an older sibling can't help with in some way, I even taught dd#1 to burp. I used to leave dd#3 on a blanket on the floor and leave a then 3 yr old "in charge" while I ran to the bathroom. They always took so much pride in helping mommy. I am very big on working as a team, don't try to do it all, work together and you see a bond in your children you never imagined. GL ladies.

[Liv]

With three kids, I feel like like I am constantly going. It doesn't feel out of control, just very busy. My boys are in school from 8-3 so it's nice to have that part of the day with my little one. After school is when the day gets insane...homework, sports, karate, dinner....I like having 3, I always knew I wanted more then 2 and if my DH had a normal job where he was home at 5 or 6 pm everyday, I might be able to have been talked into 4.

[xnicolax]

3 in general is not much harder, neither is 4 but all the questions you asked are the things that make it more difficult for me. I am lucky my step dad helps out a lot with the school runs, he takes them most mornings, I only have to do it odd times, I have to pick DS3 up at lunch time then he drops the older ones off for me as thats when DS4 has a sleep. I dont know how i'd manage without him but I do manage when they are away on holiday etc so I suppose i'd get used to it? I fit 3 of them in the car easily so thats not an issue, when I have all 4 my oldest sits in the front but he is old enough to do that. We really must invest in a 7 seater car!

But, I hav to admit, I find it a lot more stressful using the car with a baby for school runs. I always found it easier to walk, the school is quite a distance from my house too.

[3Pink1Blue]

With three kids, I feel like like I am constantly going. It doesn't feel out of control, just very busy.

I think that sums it up nicely. It is a lot of running around and I have no help in that, but dh home between 5 and 6 is why we're going for 4. Well that and the nagging desire for blue lol

[Jojogirl]

I always tell people it's harder going from 1 to 2. #3 didn't even phase us and #4 didn't either. I think you just become more experienced :)

[familiesr4ever]

I personally had a harder time going from 2 to 3, but like the other mom's have said, having your older two help out will definitely make a difference. My oldest was weeks away from turning 9 when we had our 3rd, and sometimes he didn't want to help, but he would if he meant that I would do something just with him, like kick a soccer ball or play leggos with him. With girls you may have an easier time convincing them to help with the baby. I now have 4 and it was not even a big deal to add in another kiddo. You will see that over time, it will not be such an adjustment. GL

[Zivic-Bubac]

Thank you for honesty and tips!
It does sound just a tiny bit hectic LOL! It is really good advice to teach the older ones to help:agree:

[dreamboat]

I found 2 to 3 the biggest change- but i think this was due to them all being quite young- when my little girl was born her brother was just 18mths and next brother 3 and half!! And also like' nothingbutpink' commented was much harder work than the boys as she had bad reflux so was hard to settle her into a routine- So i think it all depends on temperment of your new baby!! But its all worth the craziness i swore 3 was it -now she's nearly 2 and things are getting much easier- i think i'm ready to have one more- would luv the chance to give her a sister/brother. Perhaps i'm mad.......

[Glittergirl]

I think going from 2 to 3 was easier than just having the first or going from 1 to 2. You kinda get used to it and I'm like you, I pretty much have no help since most of my family is too far to just drop by. i do have a sister who moved near me recently and that has helped a tremendous amount! YOu have to learn to just go with the flow. Have a routine but be willing to bend and not get stressed out if #3 is napping but it's time to pick up #2 from school. YOu just do it and go with the flow! Luckily your other two are older so it's much more manageable!

[TTC5]

We have 5 children in our home and there is never a dull moment that is for sure!
The more you have, the more you realise there is not enough hours in the day!
I do alot of washing daily. Go through alot of food, lol and feel like a taxi! :bigsmile:
It is hard to find a sitter that is willing to mind this many children so hubby and I never go out... we take the children everywhere we go.
We have an 8 seater car thankgoodness so can fit everyone in.
We have 2 bathrooms but could do with a 3rd - lol

[4BlueLooking4Pink]

I found the hardest going from 3 to 4. Not just because it's one more child but because the age span was 18 months between them and ds4 was NOT an easy baby. It's much better now that he's older and I actually like the 18 month span because ds3 & ds4 can play together so well. I see those two being good buddies when they're older. Or at least I like to hope they will be, lol. At this point I feel like it's already crazy that if we add a 5th it's not going to be that much different/crazier. :)

[nicnee1976]

I personally found it hardest with DS1, I was so overwhelmed with the new responsibility. When DS2 arrived, DS1 was just 2, but he happily played while I was busy with baby and no jealousy either.
DS3 was a complete surprise and I was terrified about the extra workload, but it wasn't too bad. The first 6 months were the hardest, but they flew by. Luckily DH worked from home at the time, so he was at least there at tricky times like tea time and bed time. DS3 never slept in the daytime, so that was tough. Mornings, teatime and bedtime are the hardest and they always have been
I currently have to go to and from school 3 times a day on foot, so that is tough, but we have a great routine and it works out fine.
I am now expecting baby #4 and I am freaking out a little about the extra workload, especially since DH now works 15 miles away. But this one is due early Dec, so by the time DH has had paternity leave and Xmas leave, baby should be about a month old, so the hardest bit will be over!! My 3 boys are very good, especially the oldest 2 and really helped with DS3, so I hope that continues.
Someone once said to me that once you have 2 kids, it doesn't get any harder no matter how many you have. The older ones help, you are used to co-ordinating routines etc. She had 7 kids and said they always sat down together for meals. I hope she was right!!

[lovehugs]

Cost is the biggest thing for us as we have 4 boys and are sending them to a private school... Doesn't stop me from wanting a girl and giving it a second go at HRC at the moment though! :)