was anyone scared the dh and dw had different ideas for more babies

[bec2483]

so i sat down last night and tried to bring up having more babies it wasn't a nice conversion and in the end had me questing where did we go wrong

[Cinss]

When i met DP he already had 2 kids, i didnt have any so we talked about it pretty soon into our relationship. I said i would like 2 and he agreed that that would be ok but no more than that. We are pregnant with our second now and i know that asking for any more would be out of the question. Now i am a little jealous of him because he has 2 more than me, but there is nothing i can do about that i guess.

[bec2483]

i meet my dh when i was quite young so the question of how kids we wanted never crossed my mind we always new we want kids but how many well that was never answered now i find my self wanting to try for that little boy more then ever and he says a firm no way which left me heart broken and disappointed in him so i guess i worried that we may not want for things the same down the track :(

[Violet_]

I do try to think about it from the other person's perspective to though, what if I didn't want anymore kids and he was really pushing me. I wouldn't like it. So I try to listen to his argument. I think this possibly might be our last, but we'll see?

[bec2483]

I guess I can understand I have 4 daughters so I guess I just long for that little boy

[4devochki]

We are in the same place, also with 4 daughters. It's me who is dying for a son and DH is totally unsympathetic.

[bec2483]

We are in the same place, also with 4 daughters. It's me who is dying for a son and DH is totally unsympathetic.

Yes we are I have been longing for a son to that one person can give me then chance doesn't and won't help just crush my heart I feel for you and I no exactly how you feel :''(

[Wanting-a-girl]

I really want a girl and i made that very clear to dh when i was preg with ds3 that there is no way im stopping till i get one and i am very unsympathetic towards him not wanting anymore.. in the end its me being pregnant and in labour its me cleaning the house and its me caring for the kids... he is useless in any of those categories so i feel that if i want one it is ultimately my decision... ds three was my only planned baby... i got my iud taken out i told him i was ovulating and there will be no protected sex cause i want a baby and he did... i think that if it is something that you just cant simply live without then you should do it... men dont see it how we do they dont have the maternal instincts

[Tiggerian]

We always did!

My OH could quite happily have stopped after DS1. He didn't really want anymore children, but he always knew (and accepted) that I didn't want our son to be an only child. But he drew the line at two children.

Now two years after DS2 was born, he says he 'doesn't mind' another baby - but it certainly isn't his "choice" and he isn't bubbling over with excitement. He's doing it for me, because he knows how much it means to me to try just one last time for a DD. I don't think I'd manage to convince him of a fourth although I'd love two little girls!

[3Pink1Blue]

When we discussed kids he wanted 5 I wanted 3, over the years we settled on 3 as I was the one who had to actually have them lol Well it never occurred to me I'd only have one gender so after dd3 was born I told him I wanted another, he refused. He was happy with his girls, no desire for another one even if we swayed our butts off. It took 3 years to wear him down and agree to start ttc, I conceived quickly and m/c. I'll spare you the details but it was a terrible m/c and I nearly died. For a few months he wouldn't even discuss trying again, he finally agreed and we now have a gorgeous, nearly 10 month old son. We now BOTH agree we are done. Be gentle and give him time to adjust the idea. Bring it up softly "oh look at that sweet baby" "omg what a cute little boy". He'll either start to come around or tell you to flat drop it, it's never going to happen.

[Wanting-a-girl]

i think when they just flat out say no that is not fair why do we have to be the ones who compromise? so what if we just say well flat out Fu*K you lol you know what i mean... they make it so one sided like its their way or the high way and i am just way too hard headed to accept that....

[atomic sagebrush]

I had said from the very beginning that I wanted 5 or 6 kids and he agreed to it. Life got in the way between the first two and the "second batch" haha, and I know he wishes we had stopped at 2, but I don't regret it at all.

The way I look at it, men can go onto have as many kids as they like even into old age, whereas we are limited to a few kids in our younger years, so we need to be the ones to make the decision.

[bec2483]

well you ladies have given me hope. I guess i will stop pressuring him to go get the snip then. The only reason that i want him to get he the snip is so it doesn't accidently happen cause then i would be pissed so to speak and go on the the pill just in case so i think this might be a plan that might work and here it is i just got given a large sum of money as a gift which i though would ease the pressure of trying for my gender dream baby but no it didn't so with the money i'm going to get my beauty therapy licences and trying and work for a few yrs as we are both only 30yrs old and then try on the subject within in that time i fell that he sometimes sees me as someone with out a job and doing anything and the being a mum to our four daughters :( which makes me feel inadequate to our family

[My Three Sons]

I am in the same situation as several of you. DH didn't really want more, but knows that I do. He's willing to play along, although some days he is more vocal about how this isn't really for him, it's for me...

[mt9178]

We always knew that we would have at least four. But since four was another boy I really want to try again, just need to try to convince DH :)

[My Three Sons]

I think it depends to on your DH. If he is the type to go along with it, then fine. But if he is one that will resent the child or hold it against him or her for being born, that wouldn't be fair to the baby, kwim? My DH isn't thrilled, but will love the baby anyway.

[4devochki]

Sounds like a great plan, Bec. You're young and you have time. Do you ever discuss GD with your DH--does he understand where you are coming from?

My DH and I in general terms agreed on 2-ish before we were married. #3 was twins (more girls), so I can't really fault him on not going above and beyond...I just never imagined in my wildest dreams that I'd have ONLY girls...

[Blue]

i want 3 my DH wants 2... we are really wanting baby number 2 to be a boy ( we already have a beautiful baby girl!) as 2 would be ideal really as my DH says 2 car seats can fit in the back of the car at one time only! with space in the middle for their toys lol :)

[zebaniee]

I agree with the softly approach :)

[Rainbow baby]

We only wanted two a boy and a girl and we are going for that little girl again, I am so so glad we didn't get her!! Or I would have missed out on 2 and 3 and I didn't even know I wanted or needed them until they were here!