To Know or not to Know ? POLL - Will u be finding out ?

[Mum23boys]

Just wondering how many other team green mummies there are out there in our due date group and what your reasons are for not knowing an also what reasons those that are finding out for not keeping it a surprise ?

[Mum23boys]

I have started - we will wait until birth - because DH says so !!! And to be honest i dont want to be dissapointed if its a 4th boy as i know on the day when he is born i wont care a single bit and dont want my last part of pregnancy ruined by me being upset over gender. Plus if we are lucky enough to get a daughter how great will that be on the day the biggest surprise ever !!!

[Mrs_P]

We're finding out - i have known a few moms disappointed on the day and i don't want that ruining things or the guilt that would go with it. Nine months is along time to get your hopes up for and i had such bad gd last time i need to know - but then you already knew that.

I do admire you though i have never made it team green, the surprise must be really exciting

[coocoobananas]

I don't know how you ladies do it a 4th time! So brave! I'm not in your due date but I was going to do team green for the same reasons as you momto3boys but after talking to some ladies that did, and they had some disappointment when it ended up being a boy and I was scared of that so should convinced me to find out. I have now and for like a solid 4 weeks I was sad. I started to be really happy about it for a couple weeks, but now I've been feeling down again and kinda wish I was still in ignorant bliss. But that still wouldn't make it a girl:(
I just keep thinking how I could have 2 boys instead of 3 and all the work I've set myself up for. Last night I even dreamed this little one passed away from sids or something like that and I did feel regret and sadness... But even after all that I'm right back to feeling depressed about it all like I wish I could turn back time. I wish I could make these feelings go away aghhhh! I can't wait to have him and hopefully make these feelings disappear!
Man, I'm sorry ladies, totally went on a rant there not even to do with the question!!
You 2 better get your girls seriously! This gender thing makes me so angry!!!

[Wanting-a-girl]

I'm not finding out with this one I have found out with all my boys and with my third one I feared gender dissapointment at birth but then when I found out he was a boy I didn't feel one ounce of sadness and that made me realize that I won't be dissapointed if I have another boy

[coocoobananas]

I'm not finding out with this one I have found out with all my boys and with my third one I feared gender dissapointment at birth but then when I found out he was a boy I didn't feel one ounce of sadness and that made me realize that I won't be dissapointed if I have another boy

See! I thought that's how I would have felt, but my hubby thought he knew better! Part of me really wishes I waited!! I went back and forth wondering girl, boy, girl boy... And although I was leaning more girl it was because I was allowing myself since it would be my last time to day dream if it was a boy!!
Ah well, too late now;)

[3boys]

I'm going to find out simply because I don't have the patience to wait. I was seriously thinking about going team green but I'm already obsessing. I know if I find out any ounce of disappointment I might get will be long gone by the time he arrives. I would love a delivery room surprise... Maybe one day!

[Pearl327]

I am like you 3boys. I have to know. I think if I get my boy this time then I would be able to go green next time. DH would really love me to wait until birth to find out. But while GD is there it is killing me not to know

[NearlyDone]

We are having a surprise this time around....was hoping to get a sneaky peek at the nt scan but i will only be 12w2d so its likely going to look girly anyway and i have no idea by smptoms yet so i think it will be a true surprise

[Mommyof3boys]

We have never found out before birth. I like the suprise and I also know that I will be upset the rest of the pregnancy if I find out it is a boy so I would rather wait until I can see the baby. I wish that there was a way to not even know until after I have had a chance to really hold and bond with the baby first and then look when I know im ready and won't be upset but I don't think I could get my husband not to look.

[jennaesue]

I will be finding out. My first was a delivery room surprise, and while it was fun and exciting, I didn't realize how much I wanted a girl, and how much I had convinced myself it was a girl, until he was born and I felt very disappointed, and even like he wasn't really my baby because I was supposed to have a girl! I know that is crazy, but I had very bad gender disappointment (even though I had never heard that term then), and postpartum depression. I cried for days, weeks. It took about 3 months for me to bond with him. It was a very rough period for me. I found out with ds2 and ds3, and while I was sad for awhile after finding out, I had time to adjust to the fact and start to get excited about my new little guy, so by the time they were born, I did not experience any disappointment. I did have "baby blues" with both of them, but no where near the ppd I had after ds1, and it has gotten much better each time. So for me, I know I need to know in advance so I can use the second half of my pregnancy to come to terms with having a fourth boy, instead of having to face it in the hormonal, emotional time after giving birth.

[LO123]

I was going to go team green but I am already obsessing over it and I am only 5 weeks. I don't think I want to go through the next 8 months thinking about it, I really wanted to just enjoy this pregnancy but I can't get it out of my head. I feel it is probably better to find out when I can, so i get just get on with it and be happy that I have 2 children, two boys or a boy and a girl.

[mummypink]

I found out with both my other pregnancies and I was tempted to stay team green this time but I'm glad I didn't. I hadn't realised how much I thought this baby was a girl and I need this time to get my head around another boy before he arrives.

I was also hoping it would allow me to relax and enjoy the pregnancy but I can't say that is the case. Instead I am obsessing over wrong gender predictions at scans, dealing with my gd and weighing up having a 4th baby at some point in the future.
I'd really like another scan to prove to myself that yes of course this is another boy and it really doesn't matter what my instincts are telling me but I can't justify paying for a scan for that. I get another one at 32 weeks so she should be able to confirm boy then. x

[Tiggerian]

I'm in the fence... I want to go team green, but I can figure out whether I want to because I'm scared of hearing boy and then I'm afraid if I don't find out, and it is a boy, I'll have spend all pregnancy convincing myself its a girl and then fall at the final hurdle and become depressed or disappointed. I had PND with my eldest and I'd rather not trigger it again.

But I'd like to think we will be going team green!

[Mum23boys]

Bumping for the new comers :-)

[Violet_]

I'm planning on going team green. But I am very curious as to bub's gender so not 100% sure that I will make it to the birth. But I do think it would be best for me. Tbh I've become depressed in the second half of all my pregnancies because all the suffering during the pregnancy has yet again not resulted in a girl. I think I need to believe that there is hope, but not build it up in mind, that there might be like a 2% chance of this baby being a girl. In saying that I think it is VERY important that I not build up this false hope that it is a girl because I feel that will only result in disappointment at birth when DS4 arrives. I am just going to believe that this baby is a boy, and I really do think it quite likely is and if it's a girl then bonus.

[XXPlease]

I feel like if you are going to have any GD you will have no matter when you find out I personally would want to know in advance that way I could work through my GD before my baby was born.

[Bimby]

Well we were going to go team green and DH & I were 100% keen on the idea. DS1 the U/S place left his bits for all to see on the screen so I knew without being told and DS2 I went and paused/framed through his u/s till I saw his bits lol This time I went to the NT scan and the tech asked if we wanted to know and well we kind of said yes!! Now that she has said "possible" girl I HAVE to know... I have been obsessing since the scan and if I continued to go team green till birth I would be an absolute wreck! 19 days to go before we know.... This will be the first time we have actually been told at a scan, kind of feels weird to me.

[KidAtHeart]

I am pregnant with my fourth. I knew that the first two were boys - the first time, the GD only lasted a few days. The second time, it was the second half of my pregnancy. So the third time I didn't want to know. The GD was MUCH worse - I was just convinced it would be a girl! The fall was so much harder. I was sure I was going to find out this time, and my husband wants to.

But I'm too scared of hearing 'boy' again. I don't want to feel badly for the second half of my pregnancy. I'm hoping for a late ultrasound so I can find out later on and not have to have an entire 20 weeks of knowing it's a boy. The not-knowing is driving me really crazy, so in a way, I do want to know and prepare myself. I'm rationalizing that since I know that my GD will be bad, I might as well enjoy this last pregnancy and deal with any disappointment at birth. At least I'll know what I'm in for this time!

[minimatron]

I'm only 8 weeks and I'm thinking I would love a surprise. We found out with all our girls and tbhI had terrible Gd with dd3 and did not enjoy the rest of the pregnancy. As much as I would love a boy, I'm glad I'm pg and having my last baby:-) so I'm hoping I'm strong enough...

[Wanting-a-girl]

I'm 5 weeks now and can still say I would like the surprise... I am surprisingly not obsessed about the gender yet

[NearlyDone]

I was team green till my 12 week scan as soon as i saw my baby i knew i needed to know

[Mbmk]

We will be finding out but not telling anyone IRL - just you guys on here! We have always found out, I am so bad with surprises that I just have to know!!

[maybeoneday]

I didn't find out with either of my boys and with DS2 I had convinced myself he was a girl. While I was overjoyed with him when he was in my arms, it took me a while to get used to him being anther boy. If I am honest I think it was other people telling me he was a girl that made me think he was and added to my GD.

This time I will find out but will not be telling anyone. They can speculate to their hearts content and I will play along but will know in my heart what my baby is.

I have my NT scan on Thursday and with my last baby they offered to tell me his sex. We refused as DH didn't want to know but if they offer again, I think we will say yes and take their professional guess.....

Getting really nervous already!!

X

[fish2012]

I didn't find out with either of my boys and with DS2 I had convinced myself he was a girl. While I was overjoyed with him when he was in my arms, it took me a while to get used to him being anther boy. If I am honest I think it was other people telling me he was a girl that made me think he was and added to my GD.

This time I will find out but will not be telling anyone. They can speculate to their hearts content and I will play along but will know in my heart what my baby is.

I have my NT scan on Thursday and with my last baby they offered to tell me his sex. We refused as DH didn't want to know but if they offer again, I think we will say yes and take their professional guess.....

Getting really nervous already!!

X

hi guys board crashing hope you don't mind! this is my plan too - let me know how it goes ;-S

[WantingPink]

I had really bad GD with DS2 when we found out at the 20 week ultrasound. I had myself so convinced that he was a girl!! Now I have myself convinced this baby is a boy so I don't think it will be that bad however, I still want to find out so I can deal with whatever GD I am going to have (which I am sure will be plenty) and then can fully enjoy the day he comes. I am afraid that if I wait until he is born it might send me into some postpartum crazy depression or something. Way too many hormones crashing for me after delivery:) Plus, if I am upset at all at the birth my DH will probably loose it on me since I convinced him I just wanted a third baby and that I didn't care about gender:)

[Mum23boys]

Anyone else Or anyone changed their minds ? ha ha ha

[Wanting-a-girl]

I think I'm changing my mind... I don't think I can do it lol

[AndreaOD]

Definitely finding out and actually I cant wait to know for sure :) Im not good at surprises I can never wait, Im one of those who just HAVE to know! I found out with my other 2 boys too. But I say if this baby is a girl and I get pregnant again (which is unlikely as we say this baby is defo the last baby no matter what) I would not find out then as Its actually very exciting to have a delivery surprise!

[Mum23boys]

All of mine have been surprises so far I think thats why im torn as I have nothing to compare it to

[fish2012]

Both mine were surprises but not such a nice one second time i found it really hard and I've convinced myself this is a girl so I need to know ASAP if its not! Gender scan booked for 16 weeks! 6 weeks to go!

[my4leafclover]

I am way to scared of PPD not to find out. I know my hormones post birth can be all over the place and I do not want to be sad or in shock once he is here. I was the same with ds # 2 and 3 and I did not regret finding out. I had time to feel whatever I felt and then work through those feelings before they arrived.