how do you feel about swaying

[Glittergirl]

Just curious if anyone feels sort of guilty for swaying. I have a friend who almost lost her youngest DS to an accident--luckily he's getting better, my friend's brother just had his first child last week and he has down's, and a girlfriend of mine had a boy last year with a severe syndrome:sad:. Sometimes I wonder if maybe I should not sway as if God's giving me a hint to just ask for a healthy child. Which I always do, I would feel blessed just to have another baby. Curious of others' opinions on natural swaying. Am I just reading too much into it

[Zivic-Bubac]

I never felt guilty for swaying. I know that if God destined me to have 3 girls, then it's going to be 3 girls, swaying or no swaying. I am always praying for a healthy baby boy:p , but seriously, I do realize how truly blessed we are with 2 healthy girls, and after lot of thinking and re-thinking and reviewing my feelings, I am finally happy to say: I will be thrilled with another baby :happy:

( it wasn't like that about a year ago when I 1st learned what swaying is, I was desperate for a boy, and petrified of a thought of 3 girls. My DH is big help, since he doesn't have gender preferances and he doesn't even want 3rd child - well, that's not helpful! LOL!)

[Indira]

I don´t feel guilty but I know what you mean-I wonder sometimes how I will feel if we´ll get a baby with some kind of problem, if I will blaim it on swaying. But that can happy without swaying as well, for me these worries become greater with every pregnancy. But having worked with special-needs children it doesn´t scare me, I just wonder.
I also feel strange sometimes in regards to an eventual third boy that won´t be there if we sway succesfully, I wonder sometimes if it is OK to miss out on him- this is because for the first time I have a nice boy´s name and it´s just much easier for me to immagine a Ds3- having a baby girl is hard to immagine for me.

[Belle]

I don't feel guilty of swaying because I have to know that I tried my best for a girl even if it doesn't happen. I know what you mean about a healthy baby ofcourse thats the most important part but I think we've been assured that swaying doesn't effect it.

[atomic sagebrush]

Just curious if anyone feels sort of guilty for swaying. I have a friend who almost lost her youngest DS to an accident--luckily he's getting better, my friend's brother just had his first child last week and he has down's, and a girlfriend of mine had a boy last year with a severe syndrome:sad:. Sometimes I wonder if maybe I should not sway as if God's giving me a hint to just ask for a healthy child. Which I always do, I would feel blessed just to have another baby. Curious of others' opinions on natural swaying. Am I just reading too much into it

I completely agree with you about the "hints"...I feel like I get those all the time. Like God is saying, pick up your chips and leave the table because I have already blessed you 4 times and you need to be satisfied with that! (That's just about having another baby, let alone swaying!) I am ~trying~ to turn my life over to God's control and embrace the "whatever will be will be" attitude but that is hard esp. for a boy mom LOL.

[swish]

I can relate to all these posts! Yes I do sometimes feel guilty as I know how lucky I am to have two perfect boys but I definitely feel happier with my swaying decision as times goes on as I know I will be happy with whatever I get next! I too feel like am I trying my luck having any one at all! But I think everyone feels this way with each increasing number of children you have. AND... It has crossed my mind that I will blame myself if my next baby is not healthy because of the changes I'm making to my diet. But I'm going to eat SUPER healthy when I'm pregnant!

[Glittergirl]

Thanks ladies, makes me feel MUCH better that I'm not the only one feeling like this. So many people compliment me on my boys, or their good behavior or say they are cute, etc and sometimes I'm thinking Ok I've been blessed with 3 healthy kids I should just be happy. I'm not saying I'm unhappy, I'm just saying maybe I'm being greedy when girls I know just want at least one healthy child and I'm all into this swaying thing. Anyway, I always tell myself if I end up with a 4th healthy boy, then life is awesome and I have nothing to be unthankful for! On a side note, I just got back from my cousin's DD 1st birthday and she looked so cute in her adorable pink dress and tiara {sigh}!

[skrimpy]

I can relate to how you feel too. I often feel, especially being pg with a girl and already looking to sway for a boy when she is a toddler, that I should just count my blessings now, and know that they are all blessings.

So many people can't have children, or like you said their children are not healthy or may have a disability. I should be so grateful for what God has given me.

I truly do believe that God can and will open and close the womb, and I believe he is ultimately in control of the children that I have. I feel humble when I pray that God keep the little one inside me now safe, and that he will help take the GD away (which, more than anything else in my life, has made me realize how much I need God).

I think that if God wants me to have 5 more daughters, that is what I will have.

But I don't feel really guilty swaying or even praying that God will bless with another son.

I guess it's the same as I don't feel guilty asking God to bless us with a bigger house... and working towards it. You know? I'm not sitting around waiting on a bigger house to fall into our laps. My hubby is working very hard at work to make extra mortgage payments so that we can pay this house off this year. I work hard on my own websites to bring in some extra for the family, too. I think that God appreciates those who are willing to work for the blessings we ask for. I also still believe that if he willed it, a newer, bigger house would literally fall into our laps - but I have noticed that such awesome blessings tend to fall in the laps of those who are working diligently and making wise choices.

I look at swaying in the same way. It is saying that "I am open to a child, a new blessing" - after all, if we were not open to a blessing in either Pink OR Blue, we would not sway. Then we work towards a girl or boy that would delight us to be blessed with. If God chooses to give the other (or even not give a child at all) there is something there he hopes for us to learn - and perhaps a soul he has a specific purpose for. But I also think that God honors our desires and will often bless with what we want after we work hard for it.

I hope I am making sense. Like I said, I do sometimes feel guilty. And I especially feel like I should just be anticipating the daughter I am expecting now and not worry about the son I hope for in a couple of years. But at the same time it helps my GD to do a little planning and if it helps that it is helping my baby girl. I know once she is in my arms and is my baby thoughts of another baby will take a backseat for months :) Luckily God designed that well! But mostly I do not feel guilt, because this entire journey of swaying makes me grow a lot - and be more open to whatever path we're going to end up on... pink, blue, maybe no baby at all... maybe both :p

[TulleExplosion]

Its funny because this question was asked on IG and I will answer the same answer I gave there. I truly believe God gives us tools with which we can make decisions. Nothing falls into our laps unless we work for it. If He didnt want us to access certain information or methods, they would not be on earth. If He created it, or created those who create it, it is here for our use. I feel no guilt for planning my sway. If it wont work, I know it is His plan and I feel at peace with that knowledge.

Also, when I found out that this peanut is a girl, I turned to DH and said, "I guess God wants us to have more" because I know that had this one been a boy, I would have stopped at 3.

[kaseybaby]

Yes! I struggle with these feelings of guilt all the time. I sometimes feel like God will give me a girl with some sort of problems because of swaying. I have to remind myself God is not spiteful and really this is all in HIS hands anyway. But it is one of the reasons I am not going too crazy over the sway. I want to keep my body healthy for my future baby.

[begonia]

I agree with much of Tulle and Skrimpy's sentiments. I also think of it this way. I was actively trying NOT to get pg when we got pg with DD1. I was on BCP's and DH and I were just not ready at all. I felt no guilt about trying to influence when I had kids... and I imagine many of us on this board didn't think twice about trying to control that aspect of reproduction. So there I was trying to control God's plan through my own means, and you know what? He vetoed my decision, and in spite of the BCP's I found myself pregnant. And so that is how I think about swaying... it's like my BCP's in that I'm making my own little human effort to control my destiny, but I know (and am so thankful) that I don't have the ultimate control in the end.

So to answer the question, personally I feel 100% ok with swaying. My DH doesn't have a problem with it from a religious/ethical standpoint, he more or less just doesn't care if we have a 3rd girl so isn't bothered to sway. So I drink my ACV cocktails alone :-)

[Glittergirl]

Yes! I struggle with these feelings of guilt all the time. I sometimes feel like God will give me a girl with some sort of problems because of swaying. I have to remind myself God is not spiteful and really this is all in HIS hands anyway. But it is one of the reasons I am not going too crazy over the sway. I want to keep my body healthy for my future baby.
I think this is how I was thinking at first as I work with special needs kids and count my blessings everyday. I know the God I believe in would not "punish" me either. I haven't struggled with the guilty feeling lately. I pray everyday for a healthy happy baby and if it's meant to be, my sway will work and i'll have a girl. I also have changed my diet a bit so that I can stay healthy too. very important to be healthy!

[crystal-light]

Also, when I found out that this peanut is a girl, I turned to DH and said, "I guess God wants us to have more" because I know that had this one been a boy, I would have stopped at 3.

love this!

[purplepoet20]

If I get a child with special needs it will still be my baby. I am not the type to not love or care for a child. They can be taught to live with their problems. My neighbor has mild downs and he has 2 jobs, a car, house, and walks his 2 dogs every 4hrs... If we had a special needs child we would set up a trust to cover bills and such, and teach my other boys to look in on their sibling and make sure everything is good.

I feel a little guilty because I don't want my boys to think I don't love them. But I plan to be honest with them when they are older and can understand. I am trying to be careful because I am breastfeeding and I want a healthy baby. Some vitamins may be to nutri (A, E, B6) for the girl sway but if I get a healthy child then I will be happy. I feel in my heart that I am looking out for the health of myself, nursing son, and furture child... I want a girl but if I get a boy he will be loved.

I will never lie to my kids when they ask if I wanted a girl. I will never treat them poorly because they are boys. I will never allow anyone to make rude comments in front of them. I will love them forever... DS1 special book has a quote "I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always, As long as I'm living my baby you'll be" Best book ever for moms of boys. DS2's book is "You are my I Love You"... 100% about my little moose!!!

[JustKim]

So to answer the question, personally I feel 100% ok with swaying. My DH doesn't have a problem with it from a religious/ethical standpoint, he more or less just doesn't care if we have a 3rd girl so isn't bothered to sway. So I drink my ACV cocktails alone :-)

I couldn't agree with this more! I convinced my DH to take the pills and slightly alter his diet, but in the end, if His plan is to give me a 3rd daughter one day, I am perfectly fine with it. Do I want to have the privilege of raising both a girl(s) and a boy? Of course. But, in the end, is it more important for me to be blessed with raising another beautiful child? Absolutely.

[kaseybaby]

If I get a child with special needs it will still be my baby. I am not the type to not love or care for a child. They can be taught to live with their problems. My neighbor has mild downs and he has 2 jobs, a car, house, and walks his 2 dogs every 4hrs... If we had a special needs child we would set up a trust to cover bills and such, and teach my other boys to look in on their sibling and make sure everything is good.

I feel a little guilty because I don't want my boys to think I don't love them. But I plan to be honest with them when they are older and can understand. I am trying to be careful because I am breastfeeding and I want a healthy baby. Some vitamins may be to nutri (A, E, B6) for the girl sway but if I get a healthy child then I will be happy. I feel in my heart that I am looking out for the health of myself, nursing son, and furture child... I want a girl but if I get a boy he will be loved.

I will never lie to my kids when they ask if I wanted a girl. I will never treat them poorly because they are boys. I will never allow anyone to make rude comments in front of them. I will love them forever... DS1 special book has a quote "I'll love you forever, I'll like you for always, As long as I'm living my baby you'll be" Best book ever for moms of boys. DS2's book is "You are my I Love You"... 100% about my little moose!!!
Those are the two books I read the most to my DS!

[Glittergirl]

Love those books too! YES I'm feeling better about this whole sway thing cause I know it's not in my hands in the end. Some women do the best sway ever, sways that I could never do and they still get opposite...then you have those who do nothing and get DG. I just haven't told anyone about my swaying. Only Dh and one of my sisters knows. Even my sister doesn't know that i check pH ALL the time or anything about the ion stuff, she just knows that I'm watching salt etc. I kinda mentioned it to my mom and other sister but they really don't know the extent! My main thing is, I don't want to let anyone down and I don't want anyone to feel sorry for me. If I get another DS I want to celebrate him just as I did with my others and just as I would have it it was a girl. Every child deserves that. I know as a mom we LOVE all our children, but it kinda sucks when others aren't as happy for you...it's kinda like "Oh, another boy...congrats". I just hope my family will be just as excited!!! And YES special needs kids are so wonderful! I love working with them because my experience is they are usually very happy-go-lucky and just so positive and full of life. They tend to live in the moment! I learn from them everyday.

[purplepoet20]

Those are the two books I read the most to my DS!

:) We read so much but those are the favorites and I just hope they will not fall apart before they can be passed to grandkids. We also enjoy Dr Suess.

[CapricornAquarius]

Its funny because this question was asked on IG and I will answer the same answer I gave there. I truly believe God gives us tools with which we can make decisions. Nothing falls into our laps unless we work for it. If He didnt want us to access certain information or methods, they would not be on earth. If He created it, or created those who create it, it is here for our use. I feel no guilt for planning my sway. If it wont work, I know it is His plan and I feel at peace with that knowledge.

Also, when I found out that this peanut is a girl, I turned to DH and said, "I guess God wants us to have more" because I know that had this one been a boy, I would have stopped at 3.

I totally agree with your answer, only difference is I know I will stop at 3, even if I do end up with another girl.

[rainbowflower]

personally I don't feel there's any harm in trying to sway - if it's not meant to be it won't happen

we had a MMC with our first pregnancy, we found out at our dating scan after seeing our precious baby alive and well in a scan at 9 weeks (died at 11 weeks), and we were devastated! Second pregnancy I was full of fear the whole way through, and it took a very long time to start to enjoy it.

I know for certain that every scan I go to with my next pregnancy my first thought and fear will be that the baby has died or is poorly, gender will always come second to me. However, a healthy pink baby next time will be the icing on the cake!

[Tink18]

I made my husband laugh the other night when we were talking about our sway. He asked me would I be sad if we had another girl. I said no, We can do all this stuff and if it doesn't work so be it. God will give us what were are suppose to have and I will be so thrilled and love our babies no matter what gender! Jokingly, I said, "the only thing that scares me, is we do all the "boy" swaying stuff and end up getting another little girl. That little girl is going to grow up being really manly or a lesbian." My husband laughed so hard! And as we have talked before, we would love our kids, gay, straight and whatever they choose to do in life, so there is my answer. I don't feel bad for trying to help my chances for one gender over another. Either way, we are happy with what we get, and they will always be loved!

[lena]

No I don't feel guilty bc no matter what I will get the sex I am ment to have even if it is not the little girl I want so badly.