I never thought I would be so jealous

[OnlyPraying]

Just found out my SIL is expecting her fourth. I feel sick to my stomach. I never knew I would be this person that I've become now. I hate myself. :sad:

[Rosie85]

So sorry only :-(. Life is so unfair sometimes. Please don't hate yourself though, the way you feel is understandable. It has to hurt to see others getting what you want so badly. I feel the same when I see others with baby girls and I hate myself for even being so selfish since I have two gorgeous babies already. Thing is we are all human and just can't help the way we feel sometimes. Nothing to be ashAmed of though Hun.

[nuthinbutpink]

I'm so sorry. It's okay to feel slighted. You don't have to hate yourself. It's only natural to feel sorry for yourself given the circumstances.

[Dreamofpink]

You're not a bad person at all. Please don't beat yourself up, I know I'd be exactly the same! I think with GD and TTC the green-eyed monster is always lurking just around the corner - well he certainly is for me anyway! :hugs:

[Wishing4Princess]

Totally understandable!! don't hate yourself! it's normal to have such feelings. after all we are human! I often feel sad and some times jealous when I see women who have children of both gender. I sooo wish I had a baby girl, that I forget to be grateful for the other things that I'm blessed with in life!! we are here for you, whenever you need talk. ((hugs))

[Wanting-a-girl]

You are not a bad person don't feel like that :( do something special for yourself and the feelings will fade with time I'm so sorry you feel like this

[OnlyPraying]

Bless you all, thank you so much girls, I guess it hit me so hard because its my 10th anniversary in 2 days and I was really hoping to surprise DH with a BFP and then got AF today and also found out SIL is pregnant today, so a double whammy.

thank you for your kind words, they made the tightness in my chest go away....

[LacePrincess]

I'm sorry. :( It sucks.

You're not a bad person. Remember that you can't help the way you feel, and thoughts are never bad. It's never wrong to have thoughts you don't like or feel are bad, you can't control your thoughts but you can control your actions. And it's what you do that counts.

:hugs: Be kind to yourself.

[Momofboys]

I felt so pee'd off at dsd's mom when we found out she was preggo at xmas last yr n delivered a boy in Aug. I was most irritated at the fact she had gotten pg once before n delivered her baby around 20 weeks, while I felt horrible she went through that, she got pg again 5 months later by a totally different guy! N then kicked him out as she did with the other right after she found out she was pg, it was like she just used them to get knocked up. She told SO when he asked her about it (our odsd told us) that it was a drunk'in night. Its actually what she said about the one she lost at 20 weeks as well. Pathetic! She really irritates me to no end! So your not alone.

[OnlyPraying]

omg momofboys! she sounds like an awful person! I feel sorry for her babies :(

[Momofboys]

omg momofboys! she sounds like an awful person! I feel sorry for her babies :(

Ya a lot of us that know her do to! Atleast her 1st 2 are SOs. They didn't last long anyways cuz she was sleeping with their neighbor :suprise:

[LekkerSlaap]

I can completely relate to you. I am so sorry that anyone has to feel this way. :(

[LolaInLove]

OP, I went through pretty much feeling knives twisting in my heart every time I'd see a pregnant woman or a baby. I actually never really got over that, but I did just recently, and I mean in the past few months, get to the point where I accepted our fate or no more kids (well, the girls are mine from previous marriage, so no kids together) and moved on....but I still felt a little sad tinge of jealously when I'd see a preggo or a baby. It's just hard and it's VERY natural.

So absolutely, I agree with all of the other comments, don't feel bad about your feelings. Sometimes I would just tell myself, "Someday, that will be me." And sometimes I would just feel sad and wait for it to pass. I'd go cuddle my kids or DH and just try to remember how many blessings I already have. That's way easier to do when you have some already, so I'd never say that to someone with no kids at all, but I think you get what I'm saying.

I think the reason I decided to come back on the site and post about this random bfp is just to remind myself and others to not give up hope.

[OnlyPraying]

Your post made me cry Lola....thankyou so much for your kind words dear ....that was a low moment for me and i really have moved on....and your bfp has given me soooo much hope! I thank you from the bottom of my heart for coming back and sharing it with all of us. I will be praying fot you right along with prayers for myself....stay blessed:awe::HH::heart::happy:

[desperate4blue]

Hi
Its only natural to want what u dont have. Parents without kids want either gender, others wish for a paticular gender like me.

[Caradana]

Let yourself feel it!!!