I've lost the baby

[3boys]

As I posted the other day I started lightly spotting after intercourse on Sunday. The spotting although only pink and minimal hasn't stopped. Went for an emergency scan today mostly expecting everything to be ok and it turns out my sweet baby's heart had stopped beating this week.

I am beyond devastated :broken:

It's 2.46 in the morning here in the UK and I just cannot sleep, I just am inconsolable.
All this crying over his gender last week and I would do anything and forego ever having a daughter to get him back.

[Jadis]

Oh hun, I'm so incredibly sorry. I can't imagine your grief right now, I'll be thinking of you in the coming weeks. I'm so sorry. My heart is aching with you.

[Wanting-a-girl]

Omg I'm so sorry for your loss!

[cvd]

Oh my goodness 3boys. My heart is breaking for you. I'm not even really sure what to say. I just feel so sad. I wish we could make it better somehow :( so so so sorry :(

[nuthinbutpink]

I'm very sorry.

[Yuzu]

Oh no. What a terrible thing. I'm so sorry; your heart must be broken.

[Princess of Pink]

I am so terribly sorry hon xoxo

[coocoobananas]

I'm so sorry you have to go through this:( big big hugs

[Violet_]

Oh sweetheart. That is such sad news. I'm truly sorry and wish I could make it okay. So sorry hun. Just remember we are all here for you if there is anyway we can help.

[Rosie85]

So so sorry 3boys. How heartbreaking. Thinking of you...

[Boymomsrock]

Awful news...I'm so so sorry.

[hopingforsaskia]

I'm so very deeply sorry... Sending lots of love xx

[Cinss]

Sorry 3boys :(

[OneLastDream]

So very sorry xx thinking of you and sending huge hugs xx

[Lassie1982]

So very sorry for you :(

[Tiffani3]

I'm so so sorry xx

[Mum23boys]

Oh hunny what awful news - Am so sorry for you - i dont know what else to say. Big hugs to you

[3boys]

Thank you so much everyone. The hospital dont know if they can fit me in for a D&C this side of Christmas. Which means I've got to potentially miscarry naturally on Christmas day (can you imagin how horrendous) and the worse part is I look pregnant so I've got to suffer looking and feeling pregnant while everyone else celebrates. I can't believe this has happened twice in a row I feel like there is something wrong with me. Apparently they will not test the baby Until you've had three miscarriages so I will never know why he's heart just suddenly stopped. He looked just perfect last week. I just wish I had of been grateful for him instead of being so selfish about the fact he was a boy! I feel like a monster and the worse mother in the world. I look at my three boys and I feel like I have betrayed them also. I can't stop crying and I know I don't belong here on this due date group now :(

[Violet_]

Oh honey. I'm so sorry you are going through all those emotions. Such a sad thing to happen. I really hope they fit you in before Christmas. It's a really tough time of the year to go through this. Not that anytime would be easier then another. I'm sure you are just a wonderful mother and it's just one of those things that happen, I'm sure it's not your fault in any way! Cry as much as you need to. When you feel a little more up to it. Perhaps you could organize some kind of counselling to get all those feelings out and try to make sense of it all.

[Pearl327]

What terrible news 3boys. I am so sorry for you loss. I know it is difficult but please do not blame yourself or your thoughts on this as it is not your fault. ((Hugs))

In Ireland they do not do any testing until you have had 3 miscarriages either. But a friend of mine got testing done after two in a row. She is 40 and played the age card and I know she had to fight to get the tests done as she also has 1 large and 2 small fibroids and they told her that the fibroids were most likely causing the miscarriages but they did the tests anyway. So maybe talk with the hospital again and see if there is anything that they can do.

[Tiggerian]

I am so sorry for your loss =( It really isn't fair - especially just before Christmas!!

[rainbowflower]

so sorry for your loss :(
I had a MMC and lost the baby at around that stage a few years and remember how traumatic it was, so thinking of you and your family

[Kittybear]

So, so sorry for your devastating loss :'( I cannot imagine how you feel right now or offer any real words of support but it is truly not your fault. You are a great mum. Best wishes to you and your family x x x

[Bimby]

Im so sorry to read of your loss :( I hope the hospital can sort something out for you before christmas x

[Another princess]

I am so so sorry x

[Mbmk]

Oh that is horrific :-( I am so sorry for the loss of your precious baby boy. Please do not blame yourself of your feelings - none of this is your fault.

Be kind to yourself and rest up. I hope the hospital can squeeze you in before Christmas - that is not fair.

Don't feel like you have to leave this group, I'm sure we would all love to be here for you to chat and support you in whatever happens next xxx

[Pangea]

I'm so sorry. I hope they manage to fit you in for the D&C quickly.

[Rainbow baby]

So sorry to here about your baby!!! Not a nice thing to have to go trough. I have said this before you really don't know what you want until it is gone. I felt the same way when my baby passed. Just be gentle on yourself, everything you are feeling is normal, I had them thoughts too. This is not what you wanted and is not your fault! Time hasn't healed but it sure has made it easier and life worth living again! We had all the testing done and guess what came back as nothing was wrong. Even if you have all the testing on little one you don't always get an answer and now I wish I never put his little body trough all that! Can you ask them to run tests on you blood tests for blood clotting disorders and so forth? Maybe that may help ease your mind if you decide to try again. I hope all this is sorted for you before Christmas. You and your family are in my thoughts...stay strong mama! <hug>

[weeziewoozles]

You cannot blame yourself. Feeling GD would have made absolutely NO difference. It was a natural feeling for you and nothing to be blaming yourself for. Losing the baby is so sad but the body only lets go if something is wrong. It may have been the heart had a problem for example so he wouldn't have made it. Do you see what I mean? Our bodies are AMAZING at making babies, it's a miracle that it happens at all, and sometimes the body can see that something is wrong and lets go. So we have to learn to let go too. Sending you lots of love over Christmas. Enjoy your wonderful boys over Christmas and don't feel that you have let them down AT ALL! x

[Justjessica]

That's terrible news. I am so so sorry to hear that. It's nothing you did or thought so please try not to blame yourself. My heart goes out to you.

[EmmyRoo]

Oh 3boys I am so terribly sorry. There are tears running down my face as I type, what an awful thing to have to go through any time, but especially at Christmas. I echo what weezie said, it's nothing to do with GD and as we are always saying here, GD isn't about the babies you have, you loved that little boy regardless of his gender, this was simply nature. It must be extremely hard to come to terms with though.

I hope you are able to be seen soon and that you can recover in the arms of your family over the holidays. Please don't feel you don't belong here, you are welcome to keep chatting to us as long as you like. Of course we'll understand if you find that too hard though.
All the best. X

[The Anchor]

I am so sorry 3boys...I hope you are able to find peace somehow.

[3boys]

The hospital have told me today that they don't want to give me a D&C as I am too far along and it might cause problems as the sac and baby are measuring 13 plus weeks (this must have literally just happened!). I've been told they will give me a Pill tomorrow to stop the hormones and then on Saturday they will induce contractions so I should have had him by Sunday.

Thank you all for your kind words xx

[rainbowflower]

:(
hope it is quick and (physically) painless for you
xx

[cvd]

Oh my. This is just makes me so incredibly sad. :( Hugs to you and your family.

[Atsaukina1]

big big hugs hope your family holds you tight in these hard times I am so so sorry:(

[atomic sagebrush]

I'm so, so, sorry.

[Winngrin]

I'm so sorry, how very heartbreaking

[Dreamofpink]

Gosh that's awful for you. I'm really really sorry that you have to go through this and so sorry for your loss. Please be kind to yourself though, you've done nothing wrong :hugs:

[heidih1977]

Oh gosh 3boys and utterly devastated for you. What a bolt out of the blue. Please don't beat yourself up about the GD last week....it had nothing to do with this little baby who if arrived you would have loved as much as your other 3. Thinking of you and wishing you the very best. And all this just before Christmas....absolutely awful.

[Mbmk]

Sending all my love to you x

[my4leafclover]

I am so sorry for your loss. There are few words. hugs to you.

[NearlyDone]

So sorry for your loss xxx

[dreamingpink77]

Oh my God 3boys, sorry hun I only saw this now. I feel so sorry, just can't believe it, my heart goes to you sweetie. Just can't find the words to say how much I'm sorry for this :( This is all so unfair.

[dreamingpink77]

Thank you so much everyone. The hospital dont know if they can fit me in for a D&C this side of Christmas. Which means I've got to potentially miscarry naturally on Christmas day (can you imagin how horrendous) and the worse part is I look pregnant so I've got to suffer looking and feeling pregnant while everyone else celebrates. I can't believe this has happened twice in a row I feel like there is something wrong with me. Apparently they will not test the baby Until you've had three miscarriages so I will never know why he's heart just suddenly stopped. He looked just perfect last week. I just wish I had of been grateful for him instead of being so selfish about the fact he was a boy! I feel like a monster and the worse mother in the world. I look at my three boys and I feel like I have betrayed them also. I can't stop crying and I know I don't belong here on this due date group now :(


So sorry about this :( I hope they will manage to fit you in before Christmas, this is such a sad time and seeing everyone celebrates won't help. Will be praying for you sweetie so that your miscarriage won't be painful. So sorry you won't be knowing why the baby's heart stopped beating suddenly. Don't feel bad about yourself sweetie, this def has nothing to do with you not being grateful for a boy, if it happened it was meant to be. I'm sure you love your little kids so much, it is only natural that we want a specific gender, everyone is allowed to dream. I wish I could do something to help :(

[jennaesue]

I am just now seeing this. I am so sorry, 3boys. What a horrible, horrible thing to happen, and at 13 weeks! And right before Christmas, too. Big hugs, and please don't be hard on yourself.

[3boys]

I can't thank everybody enough for there kind words and support. I am hanging on in there. My family especially my husband have been so great through all this.

I was quite shocked when they asked me today If I wanted to see him after theyve cleaned him up and for them to take pictures. Did I want him blessed? I didn't realise they did this for a 13 weeker.

[OnlyPraying]

I'm so sorry sweety :sad: ....gosh 2012 has been so hard on so many....I'm just glad this year is going to be over soon....You and your family are in my prayers....

[Bama Belle]

I am so so sorry! You will be in my thoughts and prayers.

[lovemysonbut]

Hello,
I understand completely how you feel. I just found out at my 12 week us that there was no heartbeat and had no option but a d & c, since my body was still doubling hcg and the baby had been dead for 4 weeks. I am devastated and understand what you're going through. You're not alone, it's VERY tough, and if you need anything , I'm here for you.

[3boys]

Once again thank you so much everyone.

[Sunflower3]

I'm so sorry. Sending lots of love and praying for you. xxx

[3boys]

I'm so sorry. Sending lots of love and praying for you. xxx

You too sweetie you too xx

[aroundtheworld]

Bless you. I can't imagine your pain and I'm so sorry.

[Butterfly Spirit]

3Boys, I am so very sorry to hear about your loss. :sad: Absolutely heartbreaking! :broken: I can't even imagine it.
May the Lord sustain you and your sweet family during this time and may your love and energy for each other help you get through the holiday! I wish I could offer more comforting words.

7412

[LO123]

3boys, I am so sorry. My heart goes out to you at this time. I hope you are doing OK and feeling some what better. I am sure it will take time and we are all here for you. Lots of hugs to you at this time.

[Mum23boys]

Hey hunny how you feeling today ? xxx