On the flip side...

[My Three Sons]

So I keep looking at people that have both genders and think of how lucky they are. They will experience the joys of both a little girl and a little boy. I wonder if they know how lucky they are and just could go on and on. Then I look at a lot of them and see that they stopped at 2. So many of my friends that had a boy then girl or vice versa stopped. That makes me wonder. I bet if that happened to us, DH would have wanted to stop too. I can't imagine only having 2 kids.

Then I look at my two oldest. THey play so well together. They are always playig with their legos, some silly video game or playing ninjas, ball, etc. Maybe if we had a boy then a girl, they'd play together too, but maybe not. I see how much my boys enjoy having a brother and I love it! My friends that have a boy and girl don't seem to have that same sort of relationship. Granted, if our next one is a girl, she'll never have a sister, but that's OK... I am just thinkig on the flip side here as I am sure that if/when I am lucky enough to get preggo again it will be another boy. ;)

[trifecta]

I think most BG families do feel lucky in a sort of easy, presumptuous way. I think if they struggled for their pregnancies, had hard pregnancies, or if they got their most desired sex last they probably feel a deeper gratitude. These are just my projections, of course.

I think kids benefit from both same and opposite-sex sibling relationships. If I had to design my perfect family it would be BBGG, all a little less than two years apart, but then we would lose some of the benefits of having a small family--more financial resources and individual attention. No matter what you have you gain something and lose something.

[Mum to three girls]

My two eldest DDs are only 19 months apart in age and have an awesome relationship. I have two brothers and a sister but am closest to my sister, even though she's the furthest apart from me in age and for that reason I was pleased when I found out that DD2 was also a girl. Our main reason for TTCing number 4 is so that DD3 can have a sibling close in age to her as well. Although my "big girls" can fight like cats and dogs they often play together all day when they're at home and sometimes we'll find them snuggled up together in the same bed at night.

[hotdogz&boyz]

I think SOME people with a pigeon pair are truly knowledgeable about what they got and are grateful. But more are probably blissfully unaware of the "ugly" side of GD or gender comments. I think if they had losses, infertility struggles, or other hurdles, they are probably more likely to feel lucky and blessed to get one of each to raise. However, I think most probably think of it less than you think. It is just their fact of life.

But it does make me sad to think that DH might have wanted to stop if we got one of each. Of course, I don't think that would have happened, since we agreed on 3-4 kids. But I can't imagine not having the kids I have now. It is even hard for me to think of how I was sad when I found out my second was a boy. I can't imagine it now, I can't think of any other way I would want my life to be. Like you, my two boys are so adorable together (when they aren't killing each other). They genuinely love each other. I wouldnt trade either of them for anything in the world.

I have a pretty "unpopular" opinion about the different genders and siblings. I have always thought it is really important for boys to have brothers, but less so for girls to have sisters. I think sisters are fun and would love to have two girls. But boys seem to get a special benefit from having a brother. Not just a playmate, but someone who they can be close to without any airs or emotional withholding. I think girls/women create deep, emotional relationships with other girls/women fairly easily. It's common for women to talk about their sex life, their fears, their wishes with girlfriends and do so with less reserve than boys/men do. There always seems to be that sense of "providing" or "I am man" that blocks guys from having heart-to-hearts with buddies. It's not true across the board, but I think it's more common. But it's really hard to have that sense of reserve around a brother...those are the dudes who knew you wet your bed at age 9 and who know you scream like a girl when faced with a spider. I look at my brothers and see it in action. My middle brother is a serious, overly concerned with life, intense guy. He has thoughts I don't want to know about, of this I am sure. He is classically an emotionally closed, broody guy. My younger brother is a clown, a master at making his older brother laugh, cry when he needs to, and get out of his own head. My brothers "need" each other. They balance each other like a set of scales. I know my middle brother is a better person for having his younger brother. And even though brothers aren't always like this (heck, some hate each other), I think it's a neat thing to see when it happens. And frankly, I think another boy or two would add to the fun :)

(this was not written to upset any girl moms...I think sisters are very, very special and perhaps even something I can't possibly understand, since I don't have any. But it's a personal observation of people in general).

[Butterfly Spirit]

I agree with Hotdogz, my two boys are TRULY a treasure together! I wouldn't take them back for a girl to replace either one of them, ever!!! So when my GD friends with one boy have another one on the way, I am SUPER excited for them to see what they are about to discover! Another close mom- son bond and a wonderful "brothers" bond that is just priceless.

[mummyof3boys]

I agree they do play so well together
Lol my best friend found out she was having a boy after a girl and my ds 9 yrs said... Well that's not good that's really bad... And she asked why and he said cis they will fight over toys and tv shows if u had a girl first then u should have a girl 2nd as well... So cute but needless to say I spoke to him about that offending people :)

[dreaming4pink]

For me the ideal family would be GGBB or BBGG so that each child had a same sex and different sex sibling and we'd get the experience of raising both. If only we could all get what we want... :(

[ber_waves_of]

I have a boy and girl and they are the best of friends. <3 But I do wonder if my DS would have liked having a little brother? Now if #3 is a boy, I wonder how close my sons will be since they will be 6 years apart? I think same gendered siblings would be great if they were close in age.

[zibibbogirl]

I used to think the ideal family was a boy two years older then a girl. But now that I have my children, I cannot imagine having stopped at two either. It just does not seem like enough. When growing up it was just my brother and me and we were two years apart. I think that is why I formed the view that it was the perfect family. It was great, we played really well together and we were very close.

But now, I don't think there is a perfect family combination (because every combination has its positives and negatives). I really like the combo I will have BB-BG. I have a bigger age gap between my DS2 and DS3 but my DS1 and DS2 are close and my DS3 and DD will also be close in age. I feel this combo it gives me a chance to have a same gender pair and a pigeon pair.