Is anyone finding out the sex without telling Hubby ?

[Mum23boys]

My friend who is pregnant is toying with the idea of a private scan next week at 16 weeks BUT her other half does not want to know the sex of the baby and so she is thinking of secretly going and not telling him.
I cant decide if its right or wrong as part of me in my own pregnancy wants to know and is cross that my dh wont let me find out and so the thought of a private scan alone did cross my mind at one point and half of me thinks that if she found out would she be able to keep it from him ? That part of me thinks its wrong to not to tell him especially with 24 weeks to keep it quiet for.

Has anyone ever done this or thinking of doing it and have any advice i can pass her way ?
Thanks

[Wanting-a-girl]

My friends wife did that with two of their babies cause he was so against finding out... I don't think anything is wrong with it I think we have the right to know if that's what we want... After all we are the ones doing all the work :)

[Amberlilly55]

I'm kind of torn. I don't think that I could keep it form my DH for that long. I would feel like I was doing something wrong. Once I am pregnant DH and I plan on finding out the sex but telling everyone else that we aren't. That way we don't have to deal with all of the stupid comments that people are sure to make.

[Jadis]

I totally understand the temptation but I'm not sure I could go through with it. I'm terrible at keeping secrets and even worse at lying...especially to my DH. I think I'd blab and he'd be so angry and hurt that I found out without him, I think I'd just pester him into caving in and doing it my way instead ;)

[WantingPink]

I think it depends... if she is trying to deal with GD then I think it does help to find out the gender before hand. I am really glad that I found out ahead of time with DS2 so I could deal with all of those feelings before he was born. By the time he was born I had dealt with all my feelings about it and I was able to enjoy him. I will do the same thing with this one also. If my DH said that we shouldn't find out with our 3rd then I would explain to him why I wanted to know. If he still refused then I would go and get a private US and not tell him. However, if it is just a matter of wanting to know and she truly doesn't care if she is having a boy or a girl then she should probably wait or talk DH into knowing the gender.

Some friends of mine weren't sure if they wanted to know what the gender of their baby was so they had the US tech write it down and put it in an envelope. That way if they changed their minds between the US and the time the baby was born they always had the envelope to open.

[Cinss]

I wouldn't be letting my DP make decisions for me, if i wanted to find out the sex and he didn't, that is exactly what would happen - I would find out and he wouldn't, only difference would be i would let him know that i know.

[babygirl]

i agree, if my DH didn't want to find out that's his business, but woe betide he tells me not to. I'm a big girl and don't need daddy's permission lol
Just do what you want, and not because someone told you to, or not to. go with what you feel comfortable with

[Atsaukina1]

there is a difference between discussing it and finding out and agreeing to keep it to yourself and lying and being secretive and doing it. i don't know how someone could go that long w/ that secret w/ there own partner they made the baby w/

[Jadis]

Exactly. I think as long as you're not intentionally going behind your partner's back, it's fine. Luckily, my DH and I both want to know. If he didn't want to know, we'd have to have a serious talk and I'd either need to bring him on board with me or tell him honestly that I'll be finding out but I'll do my best to respect his wishes and keep it secret. I just wouldn't want to hurt him by being deceptive about something we both created together. I think the sh*t would really hit the fan if he ever found out.