How do you do it!?

[Hoping4Kaylani]

I posted this over in the HT Pregnancy section, but I thought I would post it here too... since not everyone visits that forum.

I'm in a bit of a dilemma. My work schedule has just been changed, and I'm completely at a loss. I was fortunate to be earning a full time salary, working only 24 hours a week. 6 years ago I started this schedule, and I have been with the same company for 10 years. I was given the flexible schedule for going to college/taking care of my children, etc. Well, now things are changing. I will be working 40 hours a week -- no change in pay. Of course they hit me with this 9 weeks into a pregnancy! With my flexible schedule, my oldest was at school during the hours my husband and I were away... leaving only my youngest in daycare -- two days a week. Now, both will be required to go to daycare and for 5 full days. Needless to say, my bill has jumped from $500 to over $1,000 a month. And then, when the next one is born, it will double again... to $2,000.

Not only does that not fit in to the budget, I'm struggling to find time right now... with two boys and a part time schedule. I can't even imagine three boys, and being out of my home for 10 hours a day (I commute an hour each direction). But, we need the second income. We can make it work for now, but once my next is born there is no possible way I can keep the position I'm in. This makes me sad, as I love the company and my job, but its very clear that I won't have that schedule again.

How do you manage it? For moms that need to work, what do you do? I've cut back everything I can, and we're lucky to be making it work for now.

There's a giant time bomb set to go off once this little boy makes his entrance, and it scares me to death! I've looked into jobs I might be able to do from home, but thats such a gamble, and SO many people are looking for the same things. My degree is in early childhood development, and I have strongly considered opening a daycare within my home, but if I'm honest... it scares me! I love children, but that is a 12 hour a day kinda job!

Thanks for letting me vent. And I appreciate any stories/advice! Xx

[boymaker]

I would also love to know how moms who have to work do it. I never 'had' to work but chose to do so for a year. Needless to say I was burned out big time trying to maintain home and family life with working. Almost gave myself a nervous breakdown to be honest. I've come to the conclusion that not everyone can pull this off and my hats go off big time to those who can. I honestly wish I knew the formula to making work and being a mommy and wife work for me too.

[Mum23boys]

Hi hun i had the same issues after ds1 ws born we coped then with ds2 i would have beenw orking for £200 a month full tie once id paid childcare so for the last 7 years ive run a childcare business from home and YES its hardwork, but I get to see my kids grow up every day- i havent missed a second of anything and they LOVE having other children to play with - i still get to do what i need to do i just make it educational - visits to the dentist, helping write shopping lists etc . It really is the hardest job ive ever done but also the most rewqarding and im earning more than i did in my previous job and not paying any childcare.
Even if you just do it for a short time until 2 of yours are in school and the costs of childcare goes down for just 1 child it might be worth thinking about ?
Good luck whatever you decide

[My Three Sons]

I have to work, there's no way around that...ever. My salary is the primary one so it's not just a matter of cutting back a bit. Once we have another our daycare will go up as well to about $1500 a month. yikes! That worries me to be honest, but we'll manage. I need to be very strict with spending on things that aren't needed. I am lucky in that I go into work early and get off at 3. So my kids have to be in daycare, I get the afternoons with them. As far as the money goes, it's temporary... Daycare is definitely the biggest worry money wise, but it won't be forever. After they get bigger and out of daycare, the other extra expenses for more kids aren't as noticable.

It certainly depends on your job/salary though. If you don't make much more than what you are paying for daycare, it doesn't make sense to work once you add everything up. I'd definitely look into watching a few kids if I were you.

[Hobbermittens]

I do home daycare. I guess it is really just babysitting, as I only have one little boy that comes and I am not a licensed facility. Regardless, it is a great way to earn money while being home with your kids, and your kids get playmates! The only drawbacks I have found are 1) keeping up with the extra mess, and keeping the house clean for the daycare kids; 2) taxes. I write off everything I can (some household utility bills, some food, art supplies, etc). But Some years I find that I barely break even! So you need to make sure you charge enough to make it work. I only charge 8/hr and only have one kid coming, so it isn't a big income, but it helps.

[Hoping4Kaylani]

Thank you ladies! I love hearing about successful in home child care. It helps push me toward taking the leap, and going for it. It's just losing the stability of my job, where I've been for nearly 11 years this coming April, that is hard to swallow.

But I love my children more than anything else... and having to miss out on so much of their lives while I'm working breaks my heart.

I appreciate all your feedback!! :)

[HopeandDreamG]

Hoping- I work too. I have both boys in full time school but got an aupair. She lives in the house and its $200 a week for like 40-50 hrs. She does food shopping, light house keeping like laundry, vacuuming, and I send her food shopping. Then when I'm not working I'm with my boys not doing housework! Well worth it! Not to mention when she's not working I don't even know she is here. She's 20 and goes out or stays in her room on the computer!

[My Three Sons]

Hope and Dream, what agency did you use to get the aupair? Also, do they have to have their own bathroom, or just their own bedroom?

[My Three Sons]

Oh, and as far as keeping a work/life balance...well, our house is messy most of the time. :) Eventually, the kids will be grown and it will just be me and DH and we'll have the clean home. For now, I want to play with my babies when I can. Don't get me wrong, it isn't nasty or anything...there are just toys around and a bit messy. The dishes are clean, laundry clean, etc.

[HopeandDreamG]

Hope and Dream, what agency did you use to get the aupair? Also, do they have to have their own bathroom, or just their own bedroom?

I didnt use an agency. I didn't find any reason to pay their 8k fee. I used aupairworld.net. Or .com I'll check when I get home. I interviewed people on skype and got a 20year old from Mexico but she was born in the US so no visa issues. She shares a bathroom with my boys and she has her own bedroom. I offered her the same perks as an agency Like $500 for the year towards school (she actually asked). I gave her $250 at a time for Each semester. I also reimbursed for airfare. It was like $200. I wouldn't pay back till after 3 months passed. This way it was worth my $ if it didn't work out.
If you want them to do your errands they obviously need a car or they can use yours if your comfortable with that.
It's really nice to have coverage when u are not working too, it's great to go out with hubby or run errands alone. I was paying more before for hours that ONLY covered work hours.
Even if I'm out with the kids at parties and feel exhausted when i get back she will give them a bath, start dinner while we are out whatever. It truly makes life easier. I needed convincing to do this to begin with and I can't believe I waited so long!

[My Three Sons]

I would love to do that. I don't think we'd ever be able to get that though since we'd need to get another bedroom. We need to add on at some point anyway, but figure the baby will be in with me for a while so we have some time. If we end up putting an addition on sooner rather than later, I'm definitely looking into it!

[The Anchor]

I work full time, but I've taken a year of mat leave for each of my bubs. We got a live-in nanny after my first (after my mat leave) and got another when I went back to work after my son (we let the nanny go when I was home on my mat leave for my second). To be honest, I have a lot of flexibility at work, I can come and go as long as the work is getting done and I meet my deadlines. I sometimes wonder how I manage it myself :) Especially getting up and dragging your but to work on 2 hours sleep because someone has the flu!

[Elements]

There is more to life then Money. Just saying.

[Emily]

I posted this over in the HT Pregnancy section, but I thought I would post it here too... since not everyone visits that forum.

I'm in a bit of a dilemma. My work schedule has just been changed, and I'm completely at a loss. I was fortunate to be earning a full time salary, working only 24 hours a week. 6 years ago I started this schedule, and I have been with the same company for 10 years. I was given the flexible schedule for going to college/taking care of my children, etc. Well, now things are changing. I will be working 40 hours a week -- no change in pay. Of course they hit me with this 9 weeks into a pregnancy! With my flexible schedule, my oldest was at school during the hours my husband and I were away... leaving only my youngest in daycare -- two days a week. Now, both will be required to go to daycare and for 5 full days. Needless to say, my bill has jumped from $500 to over $1,000 a month. And then, when the next one is born, it will double again... to $2,000.

Not only does that not fit in to the budget, I'm struggling to find time right now... with two boys and a part time schedule. I can't even imagine three boys, and being out of my home for 10 hours a day (I commute an hour each direction). But, we need the second income. We can make it work for now, but once my next is born there is no possible way I can keep the position I'm in. This makes me sad, as I love the company and my job, but its very clear that I won't have that schedule again.

How do you manage it? For moms that need to work, what do you do? I've cut back everything I can, and we're lucky to be making it work for now.

There's a giant time bomb set to go off once this little boy makes his entrance, and it scares me to death! I've looked into jobs I might be able to do from home, but thats such a gamble, and SO many people are looking for the same things. My degree is in early childhood development, and I have strongly considered opening a daycare within my home, but if I'm honest... it scares me! I love children, but that is a 12 hour a day kinda job!

Thanks for letting me vent. And I appreciate any stories/advice! Xx


I am so sorry that you find yourself in such a horrible situation. Yes your own child care business would be hard but solve all sorts of problems. Not sure if this will help or not but I have just heard about a centre here where parents of the children attending help out two mornings or afternoons a month as part if the conditions. They don't get paid so there is no tax or insurance contributions to pay for them but it means that the organiser has a bit of help and company for some of the time and the parents love it as they get to see behind closed doors. The place has a wonderful community feel (is very small too) and is always full:)

[HopeandDreamG]

There is more to life then Money. Just saying.

I find life a whole lot easier with it!

[My Three Sons]

While there is more to life than money, the lack thereof can make things very difficult. If you can make things work by just 'cutting back" a bit or watching your spending habits, that's great. But if you make x dollars a month and you need 2x to be able to afford a house or apartment, utilities, food, etc not counting spending money, you're in too deep. Just sayin.